Sunday, 16 August 2009
some people enter our lives to make a difference, some people are just passerbys, some people are just there to make us lose our way, but some will never leave us.
it's interesting how some people can make me feel like a leader while some can make me feel like a loser.
in ve, one person below really made me feel really like a leader. no names mentioned, but till date, every single detail that happened remains so deeply etched in my mind. he didnt contribute much to me, but his sincerity overwhelmed me so much that i could barely breathe. even till the day he took a break cos his family was having such a tough time making ends meet, he never really left. i guess it wasnt just as simple as a friendship but there was a kind of unspeakable trust such that he'd turn to me whenever he had problems. whether it was with his family, financial, girl, studies.. but well, he really left ve the day someone told him he wasnt supposed to waste his time hovering between nowhere.
how someone made me feel like a loser? how that person gained my trust, and months after threw it on the floor and stepped on it like it was some detestable cockroach. just because he did something against his group's rules, and got discovered by someone of high ranking, he decided to engage in some deviant workplace behaviour by sabotaging that guy of high ranking by telling his leader that that guy himself broke rules by having a girlfriend- me.
thorough rubbish. i was only on pretty good terms and talked in office with that guy of high ranking. and he decided to sabotage based on that. thank goodness for how they finally cleared the air. and things were back to how they were cos this sinner was made to leave. but c'mon, i treated him like a brother, and this is what i got?
thats the reason why from then on i never could trust anyone. no matter how great a downline, how splendid a friend i made in ve, i never really knew how to trust.
but a friend came along and made a difference. no doubt i was a tad too skeptical from the start, but unknowingly i started opening myself up to someone whom i knew through too-scary a method. it was like some roller coaster ride which had a great twist in between and accelerated this friendship, along with another person who eventually left. i realised that the people i always hung out with were so much more immature than i thought.
did i grow up too much under this new influence?
did i learn alot of new things under this new influence?
i always told myself i shouldnt, because i knew that i couldnt afford being lied to again. there were always people out there who acted like friends but untimately they just wanted the benefits they could get from you. but i started to learn how to differentiate between who had genuine concern, and who hadnt.
it made me a person who started to rely on concern, maybe requiring a wee bit ore maintainence. but i knew how to protect myself against people who werent sincere.
so many people were passerbys in my life. im only turning 19. but i realised that there are so many people who are here to make me lose my direction, make me lose my way. there are people who strike you as a role model, as an object of envy, as an inspiration to think about your future and plan ahead.
sometimes, i still find myself wondering to those people whom ive yet to distinguish between friend or foe.
but have you ever trusted someone to the extent that you could trust them with your life? (:
have you found someone whom you know, would never leave no matter what comes your way?
3 more days,
i told of my glory at 12:11 pm