Sunday, 23 October, 2011
Why is it that people are so unwilling to give in, when I have already given my all.
I had already given my all, and even giving up things in me.
But why don't they ever see it?
This isn't the first time such things are happening and this is just such a fucking disappointment all over again.
i told of my glory at 10:34 PM
Sunday, 11 September, 2011
It's always the bad times that I turn back to this place- times when I'm insecure, I feel alone, I feel insufficient.
I have so many things to say that I don't even know where to start.
Let's just say-
His first wife still matters more, no matter what.
And fame may not be what he's after but I'm still always in the background. It's hilarious how he doesn't ever introduce me to the TT people- isn't it?
That's some food for thought.
i told of my glory at 4:05 AM
Friday, 12 August, 2011
Life has been awesome!
Busy with school,
busy with kids,
busy with Boyf,
busy with studying for exams.
And yes, I am alive and kicking, still enjoying the mahjong, the supper and the alcohol. Bthxbye.
i told of my glory at 12:39 AM
Wednesday, 13 July, 2011
Seriously,
So what if she did apologize for her outburst, it was towards you.
She still said I'm not suitable for you. That isn't anywhere near her acceptance of me.
I am, indeed, nowhere near suitable. People are talking too.
To her, you're the perfect son, with awesome grades, filial, good in Table Tennis, what else- you're almost the perfect son, seriously.
Me?
I'm a JC dropout, I'm in Poly and not doing awfully well,
I'm a clubber, I project a bad image,
I drink, I gamble, I play Mahjong.
So what if I have my own company, many don't see that. And behind all those bad points, it's enough to turn any mother away from me.
Even though I had spent half the afternoon mopping the floors of the chalet with you and Alex, and I had attempted to help with your chalet.
Mind you, I never do anything to help make my own house cleaner. I only make it messier and dirtier.
I know you appreciate all my help and concern but knowing that you have to endure through all of that just to be together with me isn't what I want my relationship to be like.
I don't doubt you when you say that you will do anything it takes to make things right. I just doubt my own ability to stand through all these and still be the same person for you. People whom love me bring out the best in me, people whom detest me shape me to whom I become.
Why can't I ever be in a relationship happily?
i told of my glory at 2:44 AM
Monday, 11 July, 2011
Boyf's birthday chalet over just like that.
1st day when we reached, Alex, Boyf and I spent the whole afternoon cleaning up the chalet, mopping the floors and cleaning up dirt cos the unit was so dirty =x Argh. Then Tiff, Chee Sheng his OG mates came, Cyndi, Miao Xian and Jacky his colleagues too. And yay cos Zhenwen and Zhixiong came toooo! :D
Had drinking games cos his club/ mahjong friends were there too. Kinda funny cos they wanted to make Boyf drink but after 3 cup I said I tank. Cos I hadn't drank anything at all ;) Goodie at the games muahhaha. Mahjong/ poker etc etc after, went for a short walk with Boyf to attempt to catch sunrise but side gate was locked =x So in the end, 6-9+ am nap :)
2nd day was less busy, spent the afternoon playing Monopoly Deal with Boyf while waiting for his JC mates to come and the rest of his OG in the evening. His friends are really nice people! Had dinner together with them when the caterer came and played some warm-up no bet mahjong :) Cakecutting was okay, except Boyf's mummy didn't let me take a picture with him. Boyf was still blur blur and didn't know what to do. :( Oh well.
Night was yet another mahjong but this time round I played with them. Not bad, won quite a bit considering we weren't playing very big bets.
But after that was when some problems came in :( Went up to the room to sleep and Boyf's mummy came in and started screaming at us. Or rather, at Boyf, about her being traditional and not being able to comprehend us sharing a room despite being in seperate beds. :( Ended up both of us went downstairs to sleep in the living room cos I was afraid of sleeping alone and he didn't want to leave me alone. Felt super bad, cos he had to endure through the pain of sleeping on the hard ground too. But so blessed to have a Boyf whom would do anything for me.
Came back, thinking about things, and we're still faced with problems. Meeting Boyf tomorrow, can't wait to see him. Guess I really should thank God for such an awesome guy in my life.
Till tomorrow.
i told of my glory at 1:18 AM
Wednesday, 6 July, 2011
So again a really busy day.
Went to Farrer Park MRT to meet Alan for lunch near his place and then drop by his place for awhile to let his mummy "see me for the first time". Ahh, funny ley. Awkward much. But quite wasted cos the 3 stalls that he wanted to bring me to eat at are closed :(
Headed out for a chat before he dropped me off at TPY for me to go meet Zijie and Heidi for movie and supper! :D So anyways, these 2 buddies of mine are really awesome :) Watched Something Borrowed, to which I fell asleep in the seat next to some random crazy girl whom laughs super loudly.. =x Wasn't that all a waste, I think I had a good rest! :P
XLB buffet dinner/ supper after that, which was mad shiok cos I hadn't had that in ages! :D Too bad Alan didn't join cos mummy wanted him home =x Ahh. Hehehehe. So yea.. Came home a happy and full girl :D
As much as Alan and I haven't been together for very long, we've had minimal issues and disagreements so far, which is really fortunate for me.. Even during the wrong-time-of-the-month, he's the one to comfort me and tell me to go home early to rest. True, that's the kinda thing a Boyf would do of course, but there are Boyfs whom don't bother and don't care. But I'm glad I have someone whom does. As much as his mummy has told him something that he doesn't like to hear, and of course also something that I don't like to hear, but I'm glad he's firm on his stand.
A text to tell me about his disappointment in that statement that someone had made, and consolations later, Facebook greets me with this from him:
"Things might come crashing down on us at times. But we have the power to make things right ♥"
I like "we". So I know I'm not alone..
i told of my glory at 1:34 AM
Sunday, 3 July, 2011
Had an awesome time at Shangri-La Rasa Sentosa! :D
Transformer 3 after school yesterday was quite nice, but when Bumblebee almost got killed I was sadddddddd! Bumblebee is cute and me likes!
Da bao-ed dinner back to the resort and after dinner, took a walk down the beach (not for long cos of the post-dinner interesting TV program hahhahahah) and ended up at Alan's office. Met his colleagues Miao Xian and Cyndi whom are really friendly people :D And all was fine until he met someone apparently quite up there and said he was there to "WASH FACE" Whattttttttt the =x LOL. Super funny. So went to the Rec Room where there was Foosball and Pool and yeaaaa, was fun too! :D
Chillax, bathed, and headed down to Powerhouse :) Alan was a sad case of cough so nice me took the drink his friend offered for him. Lol. Idk what drink though. Me no likey Movida anyways. Bad bad happened though, cos I fell down one step at PH and hit my tailbone. Damn damn painful and Boyf had to help to support :( Ouchhhh.
Went back to the resort early but ended up eating light supper cos stomach was growling like maddddd :P
Then again, didn't really sleep well but ohman, bed was MAD comfy, except the pillows were... Not our type =x Hhahahaha!!
On a sidenote, Ryna's birthday and they're at Grand Copthorne! Gahhh, stay home Saturday~
i told of my glory at 1:28 AM
Wednesday, 29 June, 2011
Went to Bras Basah/ Cityhall area with Boyf and his friend Tiffany on a cake-hunt today for Boyf's birthday cake :D Tiffany is nice too!
Food for thought, Cedele, Soup spoon for dinner. Too bad Bakerzin had limited cakes left by the time we went over :(
Random Boyf- ended up we alighted from the train at Orchard to go Orchard to walk one round before we continued journey home. Lol. Random much!!
Mad mad tired, can't wait to see Boyf again on Thursday at TPY :) Wheeeee!
i told of my glory at 2:00 AM
Monday, 27 June, 2011
This is my awesome Boyf :D
Went to watch Alan's competition today at Jalan Besar CC. First 2 competitors were quite a breeze for him and seriously, he was like... NUAH. Hahhaha!! Until the match where he had to play against the ex-national player guy from the Jalan Besar A Team, wow, that was where the kick came. That was the finals round for his team and he just so luckily got that guy as his opponent =x Scary much. Everyone was like LOL-ed, and he even had this bet with his friend whereby if he wins just one game, he'll get 5 bubble tea. In the end...
Game 1- Lost
Game 2- Won (In 3 minutes! BOYF ON FIRE!!)
Game 3- Won
Game 4- Lost
Game 5- WON!!!!
Everyone was so proud of Boyf when he won! Cos seriously, that guy- Boyf lost to him last year, and was expecting to really screw up again against him. But he's a happy boy now!
He did win, even though his whole team missed the Champion by one game (What a waste, seriously! The game his teammates lost was a really close fight too!) So yea, they're 2nd :)
Team leader brought all of us for food after that and nom nom nom nomz nice! :) So happy and proud of him! :D
Boyf against the ex-national player. Fierce fight!
Boyf and his really cool team!
School starts tomorrow. Argh.
i told of my glory at 12:22 AM
Sunday, 26 June, 2011
Alan bought a box of donuts and brought it to my place after his whole day training today. But just at that same moment, I was out shopping with Zhenwen :X
Mummy texted me and told me that Daddy received it from "yesterday that guy who came to our house". Cos yesterday Daddy came back right when he bought me lunch cos his Boss made him take half day so Daddy has met him once :P Cheeky Mummy even said "He chose 1 heart shape strawberry glavour with small chocolate on top. Lol..... Keep that for you hehehe...." WALAO. Epic please. Funny much :)
Glad to have him whom is willing to wait and help me out with telling my parents about him. True enough, everything about him is what Daddy and Mummy will easily accept. But having to be able to convince them that I will be able to manage everything is the challenge.
Too tired to continue this post yesterday. Shall continue tomorrow, cos I have to wake up later at 8.30am to go for his competition! :)
*AWKWARD SUDDEN END*
i told of my glory at 1:41 AM
Friday, 24 June, 2011
Awesome day,
awesome nights,
awesome life.
My Boyfriend is probably the best Boyfriend in the world.
But I'm still wondering how things'll be like when school starts for me, and when school starts for him :( I hope things will continue to be as awesome as they are now :)
Went to watch him train Table Tennis yesterday and seriously, awesome :) Last time I ever watched anyone was... Nah, I never did enjoy as much. :)
And now? Preparing for show for later. ARgh, all the way at Changi grrrr :(
Kthxbye. I want to eat 126 dimsum for supper.
Upcoming:
Eeeew-school-reopening
Boyf's birthday party
My birthday party :D
i told of my glory at 1:35 PM
Tuesday, 14 June, 2011
It's really painful when I really want to know what goes on in his mind and yet I can never guess, cos I'm the one he's guessing..
What happens when you have been waiting for this, yet aren't just as elated as what you've projected to be?
I'm glad I've got Zhenwen with me on this.
Someone whom cares when you obviously are sad,
someone whom has the more powerful 6th sense and knows what you're thinking,
someone whom puts in the effort, just to get to know you better so he knows if he can treat you right,
someone whom asks for you to wait, to just give a few more days for him to think again, just so he can make the right choice, to never disappoint you and make you sad.
Thank you.
i told of my glory at 1:13 AM
Sunday, 12 June, 2011
Havent updated in close to a month, and I must say- my life has been really exciting.
Major happenings?
My midsems are over,
I'm enjoying clubbing,
I've had great times with my bestie killgwen while she's in between jobs and I'm really glad she's found a great one now,
I've screwed up midsems (confirmed already- tutor has already called me thanks),
I'm looking forward to my 21st birthday,
and I'm..... So happy with my life right now.
Oh yes, I've made new friends, some of which are awesome. Nothing has to be announced cos nothing is......... done, yet.
Just came home not too long ago from Heidi's place- had met up with the really chapalang clique from my JC days.
Went to Dhoby to meet Luther, Heidi, Zijie, Clarence, Nic and Jamie for our L4D2 session before Xmen movie today :) Surprisingly, L4D2 is SO DAMN FREAKING FUN! But of course, being a first-timer, I kinda sucked :( Not too bad though. I wasn't last in most rounds :P
TCC dinner was hilarious with all the phototaking and such, Xmen was awesome with them, and supper at Jln Kayu was good! The prata is... Mad expensive hahha :P Headed down to Heidi's place after that for a night of Po-po-po-poker face :P Lost like siao pleaseee, but heng siao last round had me the luck of the night and 3 people played along to bring up my amount to cover my losses and still profit a LITTLE bit overall. But it was a really exciting and fun session! Stupid Nic and ZJ whom were uber... Persistent in being entertained by their "Big BRIND" instead of Big Blind. -.- Crazy people at late hours of the night hahha.. Ended off session at 5am. But it was a really fun time I had with them, squeezing 6 people in the car, eating prata and maggi goreng, funniest thing was the L4D2 larh seriously. But still...... Love them :)
And oh yes, before I forget, I've moved on, and really have done so.. Thank you for being who you once were. And no matter come what may, you'll always be that awesome person I knew, know, and will remember as.
i told of my glory at 6:18 AM
Monday, 16 May, 2011
It's amazing how rarely I blog nowadays. Anyway, no one else probably cares about this space besides me.
Priorities of some people changed. I became someone important in some people's lives, and faded into the background, into nothingness, in some. It's all part of life, part of growing up, part of CHANGE.
But no, I refuse change. I'm going to stay the way I am. I hate whom I had become in the past week. I had always been a good girl and will stay that way.
I dont smoke, I dont drink excessively, I dont club often, I dont scold unbelievably rude vulgarities.
And I'm not going to change into someone who is.
I had such an awesome day with the 4e6 clique. Madness running with bells jingling around the condo, chapteh, dumbass balloon volley, Dominoes pizza, and blah blah blah. Games day was so awesome. I really really really love this bunch of friends :)
And yes, goodnight to the world- I do not have low self-esteem.
i told of my glory at 1:05 AM
Wednesday, 11 May, 2011
SYF for NYCO was a blast. Skipped school to attend their competition and it was well-worth the effort and time. Gold with honours. Good job NYCO :)
And seriously, I can't fit in the class. And I'm not gonna continue trying. All I know is that I need to focus on my projects, my lectures, my tutorials, my business. And I don't want to spend extra credits off my energy meter befriending anyone. And it's not like the first time I'm speaking and they look at me like "Huh..??". You know, I don't know what's changing or what isn't. But what I really don't care, is how others see me anymore.
They are NICE people, really nice people. But I just think I'm not going to be able to remember how to befriend others while I'm here.
I'm not going to get a boyfriend from my poly,
I'm not going to get a boyfriend from my class.
There, I've said it. Those are my thoughts.
And I'll probably stay focussed on my dreams, and stay single for the next 2 years.
Zhenwen reckons I'm overstressed. Oh well. Whatever. I'm gonna wake up tomorrow morning forgetting this anyway.
i told of my glory at 3:47 AM
Wednesday, 4 May, 2011
Was a mad crazily happy evening.
Yes, even if the world rejects my blog, Huifang still loves it.
Hanging out with my friends would be the best thing that ends my terrible days at school. As much as my days are really really intolerable nowadays, I've realised I havent anyone to talk to.
And then again, sometimes I wonder when was the last time someone said "Thanks" for some things I've always been doing. Even it becomes normal, it's still a favour I have an option to skip. I dont have to buy any friends, but I buy people lunch when they mean something to me and I want to share what I have with them.
But why am I not even considered as a friend sometimes?
Maybe Charlene's right.
But then again, others always are. I'm never right. So why bother?
i told of my glory at 2:57 AM
Friday, 22 April, 2011
Many things have happened, I've been lazy to blog, and I'm still a mess D: But I passed my AFP Module 1 though :) Though I dont know how I did it, with all the drama of Stomachache + Chiong toilet + Falling asleep for 20 min in the exam, and sleeping in ALL my classes, but I still freaking cleared the 75% to pass! HAHHAHAHHA..
School's starting on Monday and I'd actually just come back from a 3d2n trip to Genting. Some relaxation man, true 'nuff with the theme park fun and all, but here's what else happened:
1. 6.30am leave Tampines1- but ended up the coach only came at 7.30am
2. Coach was spoilt, aircon was non-existent, dropped us off at Boonlay to switch to another coach, but the other coach was abit lost also, it actually went all the way to checkpoint without us
3. Reached Genting and only managed to check-in at 4.40pm
4. Winston got sick on the 1st night- loss of voice terribly
5. Missed breakfast on 2nd morning cos we woke up too late
6. Got bombed with terrible news on the 2nd night- bad bad news
7. According to Winston, somewhere in the night he scolded me cos I went past the line of my bed onto his =x
8. Stupid irritating kids on the Bumper cars
9. Carsick on the way back- OMG I tell you
But it was still funny with all the awkward-meet-Jeremy-and-friends-along-the-way and herbal tea eggs peeling issue with Winston and the lack of pictures taken hahha. Really just played and played and played- Themepark, softtoys, pool, bowling, oh yes did I mention I broke 3 GEL EXTENSION MANICURES??? ARGHHHH!! Stupid Winston reckons it's funny -.- Rarrrr. And Ernest is like the missing one whom went to meet his friends. Lol.
So yeaaaa, made our way safely back in Singapore with a terrible lack of sleep even though we generally slept 11.30pm to 8am on both nights hahahha. But today has made up for all lost time when I was overseas- replying mails, delegating work, attempts to rectify problems to no apparent avail, and yes, sleep sleep sleeping.
Gonna have to go for seafood dinner with family tomorrow. Supposed to be something I'm gonna be enthu about cos it means crabs and all but I'm kind of missing the herbal tea egg + Maggi mee suppers we had at Genting :D Hehehehe.
Part of me just wants to run away from everything in Singapore! I havent even bought a new pencil case for school hehehhe. Btw, TIMETABLE SUCKS. Argh. I miss Abi and co, and I miss my carefree lifestyle.
I'm just 20, I shouldnt be tied down with so many responsibilities...
i told of my glory at 11:31 PM
Thursday, 14 April, 2011
Wowowow :D
1. Free Cone day (12 Apr) was awesome!
2. Visit back to ex-VE now-PP was quite an okay~
So FCD! Had some madness period in preparation the day before- scooping pints for our own staff, scooping the cups for the tenant-friends, and the decorations and setup on event floor! :) But it was much fun.
FCD proper was madddddddddness totally! The queue started at like 20 minutes before 12pm. By the time 12pm hit, there was a uber long queue, which never got shorter. Hahahaha. Scooped Sberry Cheesecake, one certain bulk which killed me cos it was SO FREAKING hard cos they didn't thaw it sufficiently :( So yah, arm ached cos of THAT bulk! :( Grrr. But nevertheless, we all had fun with all the cheers, screams, complaints, laughters etc etc etc :)
And FCD ended with happy and tired Scoopys. Did I mention aching and now-more-muscular? Hhahahaha..
So headed down to PP today with Winston cos he wanted to purchase some parts for his water system. Turned out more welcoming than what I'd expected. Heard of some new CAs, happy to see some of them, saw Mr S (Yah, awkward, and upline laughed), and yeaaaa, the office is smaller. Hahhahhaha. =x But well...... :) Till next time hahahhaha.
Hahahahah GENTING SOON :)
i told of my glory at 12:21 AM
Sunday, 10 April, 2011
It's been such a hectic, dramatic night.
Scolded by client just after one good show,
Screwed up reputation for awhile,
Unsolved issues,
Punctured tyre (LOL at Winston).
But at least I had a great dinner with Amanda, Hayden, and of course Winston. Gosh.
I'm looking forward to 19-21 April... :)
i told of my glory at 2:30 AM
Sunday, 3 April, 2011
I'm so glad I have you back by my side.
I've missed a best friend to talk to. And today was great. :)
i told of my glory at 1:50 AM