Saturday, 31 May 2008
chapter 106:
i love it yes i do,
there's no other word to describe you,
from a distance..
maybe we're meant to be separated, to love from a distance..
it's the desire that makes love stronger..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
1. so cute with specs, GUESS WHO?
2. wen bin is pretty dumb, LOL..
3. meng... please...
can you believe, i was anxious, scared,
i melted into the floor..
immediately...
seriously, at that moment, i felt once again like a crazy lil schoolgirl going gaga over her new eye candy. but of cos, i may be still in a jc yes, but he's not my new eye candy.
i saw mr steve.
HAHAHHAHAH OH OKAY I WAS REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY..
stunned?
shocked?
COS HE WAS WEARING HIS SPECS TODAY!!
OH MAN, for the past 7 months i'd never seen him wear specs before lah! haha. damn. when he walked past and looked at me, the moment he turned the corner, i was like, hugging the wall??!! WTF. and james and azura couldnt help but laugh at me. hehhhh he look damn adorable lah please!! and azura was saying what, it makes him look more.. like a duck. damn it. i complained to miss lois about that and she o.O arghs.
so yes, he continued parading around in his specs. LOL. and i told derrick that his laoda look damn.... CUTE LEH.
and and and, wen bin is stupid. HAHHAAH. okay lah, tee up abit. wen bin is damn blurrrr lol!!
afternoon:
WB: HEY HUIFANG! do you have toothpaste stock? i need. customer in hurry.
HF: oh yea i have. how much you collect from customer?
WB: 25.
HF: oh 20 can liao lah. haha.
*WB takes stock
WB: thanks uh!
HF: no probs :DD
then just now at 10.30pm, derrick came to borrow marker from me cos mr steve needed markers. so yes, i lent them to him and guess what, on the way back to cubicle suddenly the whole of taurus gathered at cougar's cubicle looked at me and guys from wen bin's organisation were like "EH HUIFANG!! COME OVER MR STEVE LOOKING FOR YOUUUUU". when i went over,
WB: huifang, this time, really need your help. today i look for you so many times already, this time really need your help. otherwise i dont have to survive in VE anymore.
HF: WHAT THING?!
WB: the toothpaste...
MR STEVE: well you see, the toothpaste, he should have meant to borrow it from you. cos i have stock. cos is not his agent luh. and he also new MM still blur blur.. so yah... i going to accumulate and submit toothpaste for my agent.. so yea....
HF: errm, yah?
MR STEVE: so yah, was thinking can return you back the toothpaste anot....
HF: oh, this one you ask mr mengwee. i pass him the $$ already.
MR STEVE: oh can you help me tell him? ah i think i go tell him personally better..
*walks back to cubicle with me, discusses with mr mengwee, SOLID.
MR MENG: nah, go give back to mr steve.
STUPID WEN BIN RIGHT. lol. ok ve people who read my blog do not tag haha. thank goodness. but OH WELL, he's damn funny lah! then make this stupid matter so big, now REALLY the whole taurus knows me already. LOL.
and today for once again, i could talk to him and not feel any stress, any pressure, any lethargy, not thinking of how others were out to negative about you, not caring how ALMOST negative i once thought you..
if you'd understand me a little better at times, you'd learn to more appreciate what im doing.. it's a choice whether i wish to get involved. i made this choice, im trying my best. yet in your eyes, im just not doing enough. maybe i shouldnt even care in the first place, then spare myself the backaches, the pains, the lethargy.. if i can never fulfil your desired effort, then im sorry.. cos i've really tried..
stupid azura cant stop reminding me of the chalet. she insists we look so sweet when i slept beside him at night o.O
i told of my glory at 11:56 pm
Friday, 30 May 2008
chapter 105:
i dont know, time seems to pass so quickly without you~
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i cried not because i had too many "personal problems".
it was because..
sometimes i really wonder..
why live life this way...
there's no more pain inflicted on me when i listen to people complain about you..
why, why, why..
i dont want to give that attitude to you.
but environment forces me to do so..
i really really really dont want to..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
on the bright side,
i feel so proud at my quick thinking today.
even li fung was stunned.
james and kel were getting negative.
i tried my best.
i really did.
it was an informal "CS" i did,
not as a manager,
at block 32's void deck,
i tried my best..
it's the experience that counts, i realised..
randomly, i miss lai ping. idk why. =xx
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
at first i thought my plans were great.
they'd work out fine,
li fung would safely hit her position.
then i realised, we have no time left.
my plans aren't that.. impressive after all.
but i promised, and i'll do my best.
li fung MUST hit her position..
she must..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
yet somehow i know we can never come true,
this fairytale too good,
so good..
so the msgs are gone,
crudely expressed, sad i am..
but i know
we cant go back in time..
it's just the problem of...
HIERACHY.
a reason why i have to hit my position fast..
quick..
before the flame dies out....
i told of my glory at 11:40 pm
chapter 104:
speechless.
those eyes just speak a thousand words.
every second counts..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
he
like how i
WTH!!
PAISEH LEH!! HAHAH. james was doing pp. lai ping was beside me. but i wasnt concentrating on either. HAA x.X
NOW ME AND ANGMENGWEE ARE STILL FIGHTING FOR FUNDRAISE!! omg. i feel so... proud of myself. HAHA.
and i know, im putting this much effort, for a reason. and to for once, show that i know he's there to help me no matter what. that's why im willing to fight for him.
im feeling stressed up seh!! HAHA!! but im having fun :DDDDD
i told of my glory at 12:58 am
Wednesday, 28 May 2008
chapter 103:
it was motivating,
inspiring.
we both know how much this means to us..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today today today,
so nice of lai ping to accompany me to go fetch the recruitment at eunos mrt station today :DD and the recruitment was kinda screwed up. oh man. NOT MY FAULT!! :( but lai ping is really super super funny. HAHA. and he's nice!! sad that he's going ns on 13th next month :( and jimmy going on 14th :(( HAIIS.
mr jimmy please please quick hit car.
im looking forward to the sentosa outing before they all go for ns..
lets all have fun for a day before you all go for ns..
PICTURES!!
and we know falcon and mammoth are good friends :DD balloons world the night before mothers' day tea party. taurus hadnt come by then..
lovely picture, not cos it's azura but cos there's mr steve behind, there's mr dewey behind, there's mr leon's nose behind, there's miss jessie behind, and there's MISS EILEEN AS PART OF THE BACKGROUD LAHAHAHHAAHHA!!
yea, HAHA.. unique okay.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today i got debrief-ed.
im sorry mr mengwee.
"where's the fighting spirit i once saw in huifang last year.."
nothing more to be said. it's all i have to know..
i told of my glory at 10:26 pm
and i know you'll fulfil what you promise to do,
cos i know you'll be the one with me to the end.
we'll reach the top together, i believe.
what's 3hundred bucks compared to a fighter who will stay with me to the end?
boy, youre one of my few hopes.
i just hope i wont be disappointed..
i told of my glory at 1:54 am
Tuesday, 27 May 2008
chapter 102:
it's that moment when both sneeze,
that we notice we're connected,
somehow :DD
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today was a day of craziness.
i think mr steve suspects i took a picture of him at the cafe.
even though i was taking a pic of the unglam azura!
OH MAN.
he was behind luh.
and azura is a sickening pervert!
we were talking about...
butts.
ok kinda pervert also, but as in, talking about something obvious to everyone OK!
then when mr seb stood up, i told her to turn around to see.
instead of seeing mr seb's butt, she looked past him to look at mr steve's.......
not butt, but the front.
at that exact height..
WTF!!
%$)(@#^@_&^#&
and she was laughing away happily!!
sickening pervert lah she!!
toothpaste spree ended early. business was bad :(
tmr there's tuition, again.
IM BORED!! VIWAWA-ing with classmates!!
i told of my glory at 11:36 pm
i dont even know what im feeling now.
it's the entanglement between love, hatred, confusion, the urge to fight yet the heart's not there.
is it hatred,
is it hopelessness,
or am i already giving up.
in front of miss lois, i have to ALWAYS smile widely.
in front of mr jimmy, i have to be ready to help in any way i can cos he's fighting PCI, and i wanna help him.
in front of mr longjun, i have to be a serious downline fighting hard.
in front of mr jason quek, i have to be always-positive and rebuild my organisation.
in front of mr AK, im always a happy-go-lucky girl.
in front of mr steven, im that obedient independent yet easily-influenced girl.
in front of mr steve, im that falcon ME that never fails to greet him daily.
in front of miss zhiying, im the listen to zaigeiwoliangfenzhong-will-happy girl.
in front of mr leon, im that blur HOR girl who mistakes him for mr dewey.
in front of li fung, im that experienced ME she asks for help at times.
in front of venture era, i am an independent marketing executive, ready for presentations and trainings, and most importantly, holding on to the skill of detachment.
yet in front of azura, i can lament on and on, frown, go crazy over guys, laugh and crap with her.
in front of ester, i can cry my heart out.
i know im myself when im with them.
sometimes i cant even be myself when im with you.
i ask myself if it's love, infatuation. or are we just two straight lines intersecting at only one point..
i want my own cinderella story,
but something happened
for the very first time with you
my heart melts into the ground
found something true
and everyone’s looking round
thinking i’m going crazy
but i don’t care what they say
i’m in love with you
they try to pull me away
but they don’t know the truth..
but maybe it's a fact that you'll be happier this way..
i told of my glory at 12:11 am
Monday, 26 May 2008
chapter 101:
it's the silence that greets me,
those watchful eyes that scare me.
i love it when this kind of things occur and i couldnt care much about it.
i dont have the energy to care much.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today was a real f*cked up day.
i really want to for f*cking hell sake cry out loud.
i need someone to listen.
i dont want him to know how im feeling.
it'll only egg him on to tell me to terminate my account with them.
i was the only one cheering amidst the claps when they showed that "LOIS POH LUQI BGM GROUP" was 4th.
f*ck
f*ck.
damn.
DO YOU HAVE ANY F*CKING SENSE OF BELONGING?
im not feeling embarrassed that im the only agent from red falcon aka miss lois bgm group that cheered at that point, and that taurus guys all turned around cos they were infront of me. i dont give a damn.
im proud to be part of them, i know it and i show it.
BUT WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME FEEL THIS WAY?
youre beside me yet you sit there like falcon's pride is nothing to do with you.
okay maybe it was because you DIDNT contribute to that result, you didnt feel involved in the process, blah blah blah. EXCUSES. i may have little result as an individual. but it was the process of fighting with jimmy and his downlines. those bonds built, those people who make my day.
no youre not a part of this.
no wonder you are so nonchalant to that.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
mr leon is funny,
i know the agent who drank iodine cal water is miss jasmine,
and i think wen bin's hosting is kinda........
weird.
OH WELL.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
im doing maths. IM STUDYING FOR MIDYEARS OK.
gonna get an A or worst to worst case a C for maths.
i told of my glory at 11:13 pm
Sunday, 25 May 2008
chapter 100:
we decided to start this game of
"HARD TO GET"
so fun :DD
teasing those people around us
keeping them suspecting what's going on.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i love falcons :DD
I REALLY DO.
i love taurus also
but of cos not as much as falcon.
cos taurus is REALLY a very very fun team.
THEYRE REALLY CRAZY xDD
to conclude my day, i attended a spectecular BDA conducted by the much-admired-speaker mr dewey ho, learnt alot alot from there, BOUGHT A NEW NOTEBOOK :DD and went on a toothpaste biz with azura and li fung. and somehow jinghui went off on his own even though initially he was with us. HAHA. i think we did quite well :DD and we had 4 toothpastes. so li fung and i took one each and gave azura two cos her loveliest upline mr jimmy is fighting car and last stage already!! 7 days left!! but then again, clearing stock for me isnt important now so i decided to give mr jimmy my one toothpaste too :DD GO ON MORE SPREES FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS OKAY!! loves the two lovely darlings i have with me on this tiring spreeeeeee!!
and yes, when i went back i was talking to forever-so-charming wen bin and he was saying very stressed xDD haha! so i told him to go on toothpaste spree also!! LOL. and STUPID WEN BIN WENT TO TELL THE WHOLE OF TAURUS. then when i walked past,
mr nick "EH YOU HELP ME ALSO LEH! haha!"
hf "ohhh, cos mr jimmy fighting car so i helping!!"
mr nick "i also leh! me and jimmy brotherhood one okay! you help me he sure ok one!"
hf "ehhh, he last stage already! crucial crucial! you send ur people out to toothpaste spree also lah!!" :DD
mr nick "ehh my side no people lehh you come and help me lah!!"
hf "is it ur last stage already?"
mr nick "uhh not yet leh haha! first stage!"
hf "ok lah last stage then i help you also ok! now i also want fight MM! miss alot of last stage already haha!"
and those in taurus who were there burst out laughing T.T
NEHS.
OMG MAN TMR THERES SCHOOL WHAT THE HELLLLLLL!!!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
as an add on to yesterday, we went to eat porridge in jimmy's car :DD and angmengwee blasted "the way i are" on jimmy's car speakers. WHOLE CAR WAS VIBRATING TO THE BEAT LAH HAH! that was before we went, and on the way back, he did the same thing and jimmy braked according to the beat so the car was like jerking away. poor jinghui and li fung kept hitting their head cos it was so crammed in the car. HAHA. i cried laughing lah! ALL THE WAY back to 190 changi road xDD HAHA!!
on a sidenote, today i told az that he's no longer being so nice to me as in the way he treats me is different ever since he saw me THERE at that forbidden place yesterday. in the end she said "ohhhh it must be because he likes you lah otherwise why he care?"
HAHAH!!
i told of my glory at 11:21 pm
Saturday, 24 May 2008
chapter 99:
so annoying
independence being taken for granted
"want to, but i can't help it
i love the way you feel
just kinda stuck between my fantasy
and what is real
i need it when i want it
i want it when i don't
tell myself "i'll stop" every day
knowing that i won't."
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today was a horrid day. i scolded jinghui, i didnt go out with falcons on the late night outing, and i didnt do things right LAH.
on the plus side, i befriended wen bin's new downline, derrick's new teammate (also taurus) and received a nice reply from mr steve when i greeted him today.
i am still branded as a chao ah lian.
oh and, we went to eat century egg porridge again :DD that's something to be glad about today.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
yes im independent.
but i need to be taken care of too..
i told of my glory at 11:22 pm
chapter 98:
and you winked,
how mesmerizingly.
the serious look, the turned-badboy look, all etched in my mind,
it's un-erasable :DD
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today was GP paper. kind of time wasting cos i realised i never did the questions i knew. I DONT KNOW WHY. my mind kind of blanked during the whole paper =xx but anyway, went to macs with classmates wanting to eat, but ester came already. what the neh. LOL.
and yea, i supported mr jimmy to clear 0.04% of his quota left for car incentive. LOL. SO NICE OF ME RIGHT HAHAHAHAH. damn. added one more __________ to my stupid collection in my locker. LOL. then mr steve came into the cubicle to look for mr mengwee and miss lois kind of bargained with him asking to him to help out and he actually said "ok we discuss the terms and conditions later" LOL. WTH!! i should go find people to tan2 tiao2 jian4 then i hit MM also. HAHAHAHA. okay i was dreaming.
so HIGHLIGHTS today, JDL night :DD today was mr martin lew's session siol. HAHA! he made us do this "exercise" where managers were made to run cos they were too slow, mrs kit tan was being suan-ed for doing-nothing-though-she-was-the-highest-ranking-there, we were made to look at them run... and we were made to look at our partners. HAHA. my partner was lai ping. LOLLLLLL. damn funny please. purposely arrange one guy and one girl partner. but due to the lack of girls, some guys had to... partner each other. HAHA. beside me was derrick and meijuan, and the other side was shiyong and another guy. LOL. kept wanting to look away cos VERY WEIRD LEH, have to keep looking into lai ping's eyes... somemore im not very close with him siol. haha! I PAISEH PLEASE!! but it's to actually train us to be comfortable with whoever we are, regardless of recruitment, prospect, etc etc. haha. quite true leh! if not for this activity i think i wouldnt get to know lai ping HAHAHAHHA. whooops~
and was "arguing" with mr angmengmeng again today. (as always. LOL.) he tried to stop me from going home using whatever whatever methods.. kept asking me why i had to go home even though it's friday night. then say wanna hold night training. stupid
oh yes oh yes, in shape indeed. ns changed you :DD HHAHAHA.. but still that crazy bro of mine! :)))
i told of my glory at 12:20 am
Thursday, 22 May 2008
chapter 97:
there has to be a beginning to have an end.
there has to be love before there's hatred.
all things happen have a cause and effect.
nothing happens without a reason.
and i realise, that we'll get through no matter how much we say we cant live without a particular thing, person, or habit.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
ok i kind of fell back again.
my downline left.
i dont know how to keep her back,
and i do not know what to say, really.
day was horrible.
physically, and emotionally.
thanks azura, no matter how much i feel that youre trying to steal my million$$ smile, and how annoyed i feel, you never fail to cheer me up..
xinyi would never read this, but really, she brought happiness to me the past week. though our up/downline relation was one which had quite an amount of problems at the beginning, she really let me see hope for MM this month at one point of time. though i felt disappointment when she told me she wanted to give up, i didnt express sadness to her. i did what an upline would never have done...
so now, im back to square one.. thanks shiyong for the encouragement :))
"some will, some not, some maybe but someone is waiting..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
you never saw my tears, but that dont mean i dont cry.
you never felt my pain, but that dont mean i aint hurt.
you only see me smile, but that dont mean that i am happy.
every betrayal begins with trust..
i thought it was the ending..
yet tonight, im still holding onto my phone, waiting for your daily call...
but im disappointed. cos you dont personally call me. you get someone else to..
no there's no... wrong kind of love. there was only brotherly love..
really..
i told of my glory at 10:33 pm
Wednesday, 21 May 2008
chapter 96:
yet theres this undying thrill
of seeing you smile
of seeing you talk
of seeing you talk serious
talk business
it's so mesmerizing indeed..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
sometimes, in order to start understanding what's "cherishing those around you", we have to experience, or even go through an ordeal. to appreciate life, we have to have seen death. today i went for an appointment through which really got me thinking..
she is a diabetic with a report of 10~12. 7-8 is considered a sub-optimal level, and in fact all those few diabetic patients i know of have an average report of around 7.3-7.6. yet today when we went on to discuss on her lifestyle, i realised how it is in human nature to ruin our own body. i witnessed the true sympathy and worry in li fung's eyes as she spoke to this diabetic prospect. i wasnt facing the prospect. i was kind of diagonally behind her. if i were facing her, i guess i'd have broken down. hearing her talk about her lack of self-control in restricting her own diet to no sugar and less salt, i felt that she was being honest with herself. she admitted giving excuses in order to give in to her own crave for food. as a diabetic, she felt hungry easily. mr SS who went as presenter was really professional the way he spoke of her condition. i was thoroughly impressed. yet at the same time, i realise how unaware i was of those sufferers in this world. my family may be safe, my friends may be okay. alright, maybe the worst kind of "ordeal" i had to go through was accepting the death of jie cai. i remember him until today. though we were fellow orchestra mates, and we talked a couple of times, and i found him a really nice guy with a wee bit of attitude. when he past away, i only realised how unpredictable life is. he hung on for dear life in the ICU for days, until the end. just a car accident and...
it makes a difference.
show those whom you care for that you care.
tell those whom you love that you love them.
life isnt all about rejections.
rejections make you stronger..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
yet just when i was emotionally weakest, thinking back about the appointment, and thinking if i should call him, he called me. asked me about the appointment. i told him. this led to that and led to complaints about the-horrible-guy again. he got angry and scolded me. i felt like i could just cry there and then. but i didnt. i felt like something had left me at that moment. when he shouted over the phone, i remember exactly,
then again, how many times has he already threatened me this way? but i always bow low and apologise, afraid to lose him, afraid that he will stop caring for me and leave me alone. it's been like that since.. 5 months ago. i could take it no more the moment he shouted at me. he never shouted at me before in the whole 7 months i've knew him. cos i know, when he shouts, it's really.... deep sh*t.
yes, until now im feeling down in the grass, and i can turn to no one. cos everyone knows how close i am to him, and how much misconceptions people already have, yet this has to happen now. just when im really gaining the momentum to fight...
they'll laugh if they know... really..
i told of my glory at 11:41 pm
Tuesday, 20 May 2008
chapter 95:
feels different..
partial detachment..
im beginning to realise :DD
all the best mastering this song well :DD
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会发现 你会讶异
你是我 最压抑
最深处的秘密
如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸 你会流泪
只要你能 听到我
看到我的全心全意
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
im getting my focus back!!
after tmr,
14572LV- 30LV- 30LV= 14512LV to MM! finally moved by more within a month..
ON MY WAY!!
im glad i have you :DD
wait for me..
you know,
there are a thousand people who fail,
there are a thousand who succeed.
there are a thousand who are positive,
there are a thousand who are negative.
which thousand do you listen to?
influence
what a powerful thing.
harmful?
beneficial?
idk. haha.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
feeling so weird cos im talking to shiyong so much on personal thoughts. haha.
what the hell.
is he gonna be the person im standing on the stage with?
haha.
how weird indeed.
xian qing, huiqi, siew hoon, vivien, nic, one by one, lost, lost, lost..
MR swee siang, MR wen bin, even MR zhiliang, one by one, hit, hit, hit..
wow.
im really slow..
haha. feels kind of weird.
REALLY..
i told of my glory at 10:22 pm
Monday, 19 May 2008
will there be a day i give up talking to you?
will there be a day i give up going with you?
will there be a day i turn against you?
i believed not, cos you have always been my support in such times of trouble.
you were always there to help me,
listen to me.
but can you just please have some consideration of my feelings at times?
angmengwee i really want to give up at times..
it was always your support that kept me there.
i dont want to lose it..
i told of my glory at 11:52 pm
chapter 94:
what a borrrring day without some entertainment from you. LOL..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today was a really funny day. i reached the Chalet even before it was opened. what the neh. i reached at 12.20pm lah! then saw jason and ryan there. haha. went down to b1 to SIT and wait after pacing here and there. LOL. ended up watching harry potter and order of phoenix using kenny's laptop :DD HAHA.
went for an appointment with my damn-zhai downline :DD xinyi is really my hope now!! though her aunt has financial difficulties she still supported xinyi with one carton of water. super nice of her aunt!! to think xinyi was saying she's not close with this aunt. hahahs. and xinyi's dad goes DISCO. HAHA WHAT THE NEH. otherwise today can have another appt de. lol. sian! NEVER MIND, we've taken the first step, so we FIGHT ON!! :DD
MOMENTUM!!
i told of my glory at 10:57 pm
it's late at night, im feeling really really low. somehow looking at those photos i once used my u700 to capture, i cant help but miss my dearest phone already. that phone brings back fond memories, especially from AGS 2007 which was held on january 2008. that was the seminar where i took such charming pictures from such a great distance. though i now have this w910i to replace my u700, it feels different. this camera is so much weaker than the one in u700. i took so many great pictures with my u700. a total of 679 in just a span of less than 3 months, and now im letting it go.
too bad my dearest phone, there's this major problem which so many people are encoutering, im so afraid to keep you..
yet these 2 phones come from the same source, with different feelings..
and then again, i really find myself caught up with thinking of my own plans. ambitious yet realisable plans. i want to be a successful businesslady. i want to be a successful businesslady. i want to be a successful businesslady. and i am sure, i will realise my dream. or rather, it's not a dream, cos it's my aim in life.
to open a deco company, to manage a business of my own. :DD
i told of my glory at 1:33 am
chapter 93:
it's the 18th,
once again..
oh ok this post is after midnight. T.T haha.
as the slide was never like before,
the problems lifted, happiness once more :DD
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
yes that's right, once again it's the 18th of the month. nope, not payday. nope, not my birthday. it's.... HAHA :DD shant elaborate on that, that shall remain a secret in my heartttt WOOTS HAHA!!
evening i went for class outing :DD 0820. lovely!!~ had steamboat buffet. wah, DAMN full. cos miss tan and mr harold went with us, and we were talking about these 2 jokes that happened during mr harold's latest tutorial class. his question posed was "what happened in SG in 1987?"
joke 1:
jiaying *innocently - "formation of PAP"
mr H- "nice try, but no."
joke 2: *at the other end of the room
huifang *softly - "eh, merlion lo. hee."
jeanette- "really meh?!"
*mr H asks tammy if she knows.
tammy- "i know! i know! got merlion!"
HELLO WHY ARE MY CLASSMATES SO ADORABLY BLUR??!
think mr harold kind of thinks my class is mental, really. haha.
and of cos as usual, jeanette was laughing like a.. person with excess laughing gas i her body. haha. and MAKING WEIRD NOISES :DD HAHA.
so after that, we wanted to go play pool but AIYAH, k pool no table. went all the way to snookerium and realised it CLOSED DOWN T.T SIAN 1/2!! in the end we went to kovan superbowl to pool upstairs. HAHA. wth. we took cab down somemore LOL!! oh well, my class..
ben ben ben is SUPER pro please xDD partner with him stressed seh. HAHA. i so long never play pool already LAH! what the neh. hha. damn noobish today =xx but ben ben ben was being very patient :DD ben was being really nice as always :)) and in fact, ede and i were talking about our class guys being pretty matured. oh well, i agree, at least for majority of the guys. HAHA. aiyah, and really, i
so yes, tmr's gonna be another day of chiong-ing.
and im really, really, really sleepy..
it's tiring yes,
but i'll hold on,
cos i know i can.
i know you will..
i told of my glory at 12:52 am
Saturday, 17 May 2008
chapter 92:
i love decos (:
i love decos (:
i love heartshape balloons,
for a reason :DD
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
mothers day tea party was a BLAST:DD
1. mr steve sim is such a
2. mr wen bin is such a stupid poser. what the neh. but i love his confidence!!
3. azura is VERY crazy, and she broke her own limitation of being afraid of bursting balloons :D
4. NEW HANDPHONEEEEE :)))
im the first to reach the Chalet todayyyy!! YAY :DD then i went upstairs with mr joseph and mr danny to look at the deco. omg stunned. the ribbons were.... wtf. LOL. i dont know who did it but it looked horrid. HAHA. all because i didnt have time to do it yesterday. NEVER MIND. re-made the ribbons and did rearrangement of some of the balloons and WOOHOO!! nice :DD
OHHHHH MR PATRICK THE VICE-PRESIDENT PICKED UP MY BALLOON FOR MEEEE
:DD omg damn paiseh please!! was standing with the managers and they SAW T.T HAHA. cos it dropped off the table and i didnt realise. omg. haha. OMG!! LOL.
so yes, fun fun :)) bingo was real nice. haha. wen bin and his downlines suck lah! keep on "WOHHH!!! WOOH!!!!!" when theyre nowhere near to bingo HAHA. to think i really thought they were about to bingo! NEH. in the end me and az went to sit at their area after bingo ended cos yea, TIRED LAH HAHA. then stupid WB took my heartshape balloon and gave it to a little girl :( then i MADE him take it back for me. HAHA :DD
after the whole event ended went to eat, then came back to take down the deco :((( I DONT WANNA. the deco is so nice please :DD balloonsss!! at first was only me and azura upstairs. then came mr steve, mr yanlong and one of their guys..
mr steve on-ed music :) NICE. then they were lazing around at the sofas at the back HAHA. while me and azura pop-ed away at the balloons. ok only her. HAHA.
mr steve "oh wah, help me wash also ah? so nice of you."
hf "huh?"
mr steve "thoe jugs are mine. haha"
hf "ah? oh these are yours? hmm okay lo. then i put back lah, miss lois told me to help her wash cups leh. never say jugs."
mr steve "aiyahhhh ehhhhhhhhhhhh, shun4 bian4 laaaa..."
hf "ok lah ok lah.."
mr steve *softly *grins "yea man ni jiu shi zui mei le..."
HAHA. damn it. we communicated in mandarin. and azura couldnt understand that lah! when she asked me and i translated it for her, she was like "waaaaaaaa.." wahhhhhhhh okay lah. who cares about his talking cork haha. but at that time mr yanlong and the other guy weren't there already. lol. damn....
then i was like, DAMN unglam lah. moving the stupid big vase of errrh, flower-like branch-like thingy down to the cubicle cos.. no guys were upstairs already. HAHA. what the neh. thank goodness for yanru's help :DD
so yes, in conclusion,
MOTHERS DAY DECO WENT SMOOTHLY FOR ME ALL THANKS TO THE HELP FROM TAURUS AND MAMMOTH!! mammoth for helping me to blow up the balloons yesterday night, taurus for helping me blow up the balloons and clearing up the deco today,
ESPECIALLY MR STEVE LAH!! haha. didnt think a CAR ACHIEVER who isnt actually involved in deco would help :DD but when i came out from the toilet from washing the cups i saw him taking down the deco outside the sem room :DD appreciation for me who washed the jugs for him lahh!! :DD
OH YAH, AZ INSISTS THAT MR S IS STALKING ME LOLLLLLL. cos it seems when he unglam or act cute im there. HAHA!!
YEAAAA i love events :DD
and i love your glib tongue..
youre too aware of how i feel.. :))
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
A told me today then J told her, whenever L talks to me, i will always end up looking very stressed and depressed..
somehow i cant explain this hatred i have for you.
i didnt come with this hatred.
but it was because you were the first there to see me smile,
see me cry,
offered me my first advice..
yet youve changed, to someone i cant even recognize.
it pains me.
yes it does..
cos i hate it when you blame me for nothing.
i hate it when you pick on me.
i hate it when you try to debrief me.
i dont hate you..
but i dont even feel like talking to you.
i dont wanna argue.
it's not worth it.
miss L once said, the worst thing to happen in NM is a situation like when i would give up on you.
i told her i wouldnt.
i promised her.
but i cant believe i actually felt the urge to just let everything go today.
somehow i know we can never go back to like how we were before.
too many things have happened..
i cant pretend nothing ever did...
i told of my glory at 10:39 pm
chapter 91:
there's always a reason behind everything :DD
yet there doesnt seem to be a reason behind this perfect friendship x))
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
mr steve is SUPER act cute HAHA.
had a talk with mr steven over coffee x)
FALCON, MAMMOTH and TAURUS ARE GOOD FRIENDS :DD
balloons world x)
ok first things first. i just came home. what the neh. was having fun though :DD
but then again yes, you got that right. mr STEVE was acting cute today haha. just now once again in two days i felt lazy enough to go to the toilet to check appearance before going down to b1 at Chalet. yesterday, i met WB the moment i stepped out of the lift. today while waiting for the lift, SUDDENLY there were a couple of high-ranking people around me, with mr steve standing beside me. =x i walked into the lift with them and "miss zhiying hao mr jiuyuan hao mr steve hao" and turned to face the front. miss zhiying was giving me the very very suggestive kind of look. LOL. i know what's on her mind lah please. then everyone said "hao.. hao.." only mr steve who made a WEIRD noise and did this fake burp. i turned around and he said "hooooo sorry!" in a very very cute tone also. WALAO EH DAMN FUNNY BUT DAMN ACT CUTE PLEASE HAHAHAHAHA. then miss zhiying was laughing all the way down. neh T.T
so yes, had a talk with mr steven over coffee today. haha. he taught me quite alot :DD absorb like a spongeeeee!! HAHA. i have a great agent xinyi :DD WHEEEEsSs!!
then just now at around 9 plus the BMs, CAs and BGMs went upstairs for a SDL session in the sem hall, leaving the MMs and below at b1. HAVOC SIOL!! :DD at first was pretty subdued. until 10.15pm when me and azura and jinghui started blowing the balloons cos miss lois msged me to. HAHA. then mr sweeeeeee siang came and helped also!! :DD then ryan also helped and jessie and kenny also helped!! SOLID!! FALCON AND MAMMOTH GOOD FRIENDS!! this one still okay, everyone knows that.
at around 11pm, TAURUS ended their group up. (solid siol, held by WB leh HAHA!) THE WHOLE GROUP CAME OVER AND STARTED HELPING US BLOW BALLOONS!! :DD so nice of them. all thanks to WENBIN LAH :))) haha. but he.. what the neh. "for every balloon blown we'll be given 1PV, credits to huifang!" SMACK HIM SIOL. haha. then i say "where got??!" and know what he said? "OI I DONT GIVE FREE BLOWJOB ONE LEHH" what the hell. everyone laughed till pengs please.
FALCON'S CUBICLE BECAME BALLOON WORLD :DD FILLED WITH BALLOONS OF METALLIC BABY PINK, PURPLE, WHITE, AND PINK HEART-SHAPE BALLOONS, LOVE WAS IN THE AIR HAHAHHAHAHHA!! alright. oh well. it was REALLY fun :DD kind of a bonding session between falcon, mammoth and taurus xDD HAHA.
and now wenbin's saying his nose started bleeding when he was blowing the ballooons. hmm.. ??? HAHAH..
when SDL session ended, miss lois wanted us to BRING THE BALLOONS UPSTAIRS. omg. haha. and we filled the lift with balloons then some people go up with it and empty it upstairs. HAHAHAHAHA. the whole lift smelled like balloons.
LEFT COS I GOT LIT TMR MORN T.T
tmr continue my deco deco!! :DD
thanks alot :DD
i told of my glory at 1:20 am
Thursday, 15 May 2008
chapter 90:
whine up, whine up, whine up, oye~
distracted, distracted, distracted, oye!!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
school ended
AND NOW WE'RE FORCED TO LISTEN TO BBC NEWS AS PUNISHMENT FOR NOT BRINGING DICTIONARY TO SCHOOL TODAY. wtffffffff!!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
as of today, i proclaim i really really really respect my upupline. MR JINGHUI! omg. he'd be the last person id ever imagine myself to admire so much. he's really.. smart. thinks out of the box and ending up helping me :DD he was being like a nanny nagging at me to call call call today. HAHA!! but ended up we kept switching numbers to call. LOL! stupid JH lah. "HELLO, I AM IVAN. YOU CALL ME AHH?" damn. laughed till pengs please :DD
and of cos, WB's still parading around in his blazer. omg so handsome siol. HAHA. okay lah poser can? people keep saying he's not bad but very poser. AIYAH. please, he fought for that position okay? :DD
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Sense is telling me you’re looking
I can feel it on my skin (Whoa)
Boy I wonder what would happen
If I trip and let you in
Don’t get shook by my my aggression
I just might be the one
Let’s skip this conversation
Just whine your body up
(Ha ha ha)
Don’t wanna wait no more
(Ha ha ha)
You got what I’m searching for
Cuz I’m feeling your vibing
I’m riding high is exotic
And I want you, I want you here
Pull me closer and closer and
Hold me tight to your body
I wanna feel you, I wanna feel you near
i told of my glory at 10:12 pm
Wednesday, 14 May 2008
chapter 89:
oh wow..
that's all i can stay..
maybe the story is taking a sharp turn...
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
I CANT BE BOTHERED TO POST ANYTHING MOTIVATING!! COS IM SO DISTRACTED TODAY :DD
W's smile just makes me
and miss nad was like "woh.." HAHA. and azura was like "wahh" HAHAHAHA..
and just now as i mentioned above, i was doing reception with miss nad today so when he and his fellow guys came, all of them were as jokerish as him :DD HAHA. then he intro-ed, there was this shy shy new guy LOL. damn funny. oh well, the guys there are his organisation. SOLID..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
GP lesson was TOTALLY b*tchy cos of our splendid tutor,
maths was great cos i never picked on already,
assembly was superbly interesting, cos i fell asleep for maybe half of the assembly. (neck ached due to no change in posture. LOL!)
so yes, today has been a really great day. did reception with miss nad for welcome forum. mr steve is so.. unglam. lol. never mind. cos i always see things i shouldnt when i observe people. lol. and yes, i embarrassed myself infront of mr steven ho and mr jason quek. nbnb. scenario:
mr steven *tells miss nad: so now manager already know about standing order right?
miss nad: *nods.
huifang: wads standing order?
mr steven: YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW??!
huifang: uh... oh is what, manager already must stand is it? (thinks about usually managers stand at the aisles.
*mr jason laughs hysterically.
mr steven: i tell you, go ask your bgm miss poh what is standing order. she knows. she will tell you.
huifang: can i ask mr mengwee? will he know? cos miss lois not around.
mr steven: yes, he knows. if he dont know, you come find me. i teach you. now you do sitting order ok.
huifang: ??!!??!! hurrrr??!
in the end mr steven said something about the 18PV before i realised that standing order= quota to meet= 18PV. WALAO. i know about it but i dont know it's called standing order!! ARGHHHHHH. in the end mr steven was like "walao eh.." T.T
after that, had a "planning" with mr mengwee. supposed to be planning but in the end i got.. scolded? oh well. and i didnt talk back. cos i know im wrong :( OH WELL. but it's ok. im gonna change for the better. if im around till im a car achiever, the first person i'll thank is mr mengwee. REALLY..
stupid cab driver. cos jimmy still went back to office cos miss lois told him to :( and in the end i took cab. when jimmy drives at 90kmph, i got the whooooo feeling. when the fcking driver drove at 80kmph, i was like "WTF!!" cos HE DONT SEEM TO BE ABLE TO DRIVE STRAIGHT! please lah i drive also straighter than him please. he seems.. dangerous. oh well..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
smile :DD
i told of my glory at 11:58 pm
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
oh anyway, i actually forgot something so significant which happened today in class.
had class exco elections and I DONT KNOW how come my name appeared in class chairperson and chass vice-chairperson!! LOL!! i forgot which guy mentioned my name though. but HAHA. miss tan asked for any violent objection and i rose my hand up to say i dont wanna run for it. LOL. i rather be service learning rep cos it sounds interesting!! HAHA.
and yea, something extra. i informally proposed a new position in class exco- class counsellor, with support from some classmates as random as me HAHA. but miss tan says that canot be recognized in SGC :( argh. sad. but im glad i've people in class who think i talk logic :DD
OFF TO SLEEP LAH!
i told of my glory at 11:59 pm
chapter 88:
BING MEI YOU SHANG XIN DE LI YOU,
yin wei you ni zai wo shen hou.. :DD
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
alright so today was a really great day i guess :)
feeling
so yes, back to the main topic.
HAPPINESS.
im gonna be out to inspire again.. :)
so yes, no one's ever satisfied with what they have, really. regardless of material or emotional, no one's ever really satisfied. or at least, most of the people around me. i think, rather than lamenting about what we dont have, we should cherish and acknowledge what we have. if you dont have something, there must be a reason behind it! GO FIND OUT THE REASON, SOLVE IT AND WHAT YOU WANTED BUT DIDNT HAVE WILL SOON BE YOURS!! :DD all it takes is a little effort, more appreciation, less complaints, and life will be better, the earth will be a better place. DONT YOU THINK SO? :) even i myself do not practice that. ironical dont you think? indeed, but im learning. everyone's learning. every genius makes mistakes, every idiot makes mistakes, so tell me, what's the difference between a genius and an idiot?
so back to the topic on happiness. today, i say im happy. you see me smile, hear me talk with confidence. yet at the back of my mind, im secretly lamenting about the fact that im unable to be seen in the same light as other students in my class cos im a retainee. but do you ever see me display my discontent? my unhappiness? my disappointment? NEVER! isnt that great? assuming i display my negative thoughts through my expressions, through my body language, how would the people around me feel? im sure everyone would be "omg why is huifang like that?" "omg so negative. later i become negative also how?" NO! i dont want my friends to feel this way when they're with me! thats why the smile i display, the confidence i exude, overwhelms the unhappiness i feel in my heart. i have a happy-learning mentality and do my best to help my classmates in whatever ways possible. it's just kind of in my character to do this i guess.
cos last year, zijie was always the one who would in a way "counsel" me whenever i felt down and felt like you know, life totally sucked. but ive changed. even he says so. and now, after i've received such treatment from such a great friend, i seek to spread this feeling around. i want to help those people around me with what experience i have.
i may not be a manager, i may not be a CS presenter. but im huifang, i seek to bring happiness, seek to do my best for the people around me. while im still well and alive, i'll bring as much happiness into the world as i can..
i told of my glory at 11:26 pm
Monday, 12 May 2008
chapter 87:
i've been looking for that special one
and i've been searching for someone to give my love
and when i thought that all the hope was gone
you smile, there you were and i was gone
i always will remember how i felt that day
a feeling indescribable to me, Yeah
i always knew there was an answer for my prayer
and you, you're the one for me..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today was really.. an out-of-body experience. it led me to realisation that i can only work with one goal in mind.
in school, i can only aim to ace one subject, at least for now.
as an additional point, i think it's damn stupid that people should notice me only when i got 3/10 due to conception error for the 2nd maths test, and no one noticed my 7/10 for the 1st test.
at biz, i can only go after one person. i cant have any distraction.
i dont know how to train up people on my own.
i dont know how to make my people realise im a good leader.
i dont know how to make people willing to fight for me.
wednesday.. i would realise..
today kelvin went on stage, followed by MR james and MR wen bin and others of cos. screamed out "mr james hao!!" i dont care if it's unglam. it feels great to cheer for a fellow falcon. HAHA and he thanked meeeee lol. okay one of the falcons he thanked, but YAY!! :DD
on the other hand, HE was hovering somewhere behind me. HAHA T.T stress sia LOL.
so yess today i was lamenting to mr mengwee again about me not being allowed to wear a blazer yet :( so he told me to FIGHT LAH! heehee :DD i will!! my two lovely downlines, HIT ME THEN I HIT MM ALREADY!! x)
off to sleeeeeeeeeep!!
i told of my glory at 11:33 pm
Sunday, 11 May 2008
chapter 86:
if only you could exude this kind of attraction everyday
maybe we wouldnt be that distant
at the place where we're prohibited.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today im feeling.. weird. totally.
i went for NM-know-how with shin yee today.
i lost a downline today.
im still left with 14572LV today.
i havent break-zero.
today, wen bin said hi and flashed his million$$ smile.
i said hi.
and said mr wen bin hao.
his million$$ smile became a billion$$ smile.
he was wearing a blazer..
handsome..
but anyway,
i dont know.
it felt different from before..
tmr's slideshow, he'll be going up to make MM speech. james too. kelvin for his ME too. oh man.. when oh when..
on a sidenote, i got a new printer today. mothers' day and i didnt get anything for mom but she bought me a printer. solid..
and yes, i talked to mr mengwee today.
i was thinking why he called and told me to wait for him to come back.
just turn a corner, he said.
so when he came, i updated him on everything.
he was just like my upline.
no, as in it's like he's my upline.
not that he is like longjun.
mr mengwee feels like my upline..
i asked miss lois if he's coming today. she said he wasnt. so she asked why. and miss lois being miss lois, always being very very inquisitive. she asked if it was because i wanted to apologize to him. i guess he told her. (as always, oh well) but it's wonderful how things just seem to work out in the end. i didnt have the courage to say sorry. but he still went on talking to me like yesterday i didnt do anything wrong.
i really regretted my actions yesterday..
thank you for not leaving me alone..
im sorry..
i told of my glory at 9:50 pm
Saturday, 10 May 2008
today there was another revelation of a problem seen in everywhere in the world.
comparison.
cant the society just stop making comparisons and saying who's better than who? so what if im better than you in results? if my personality sucks, i think im a failure in life. so what if today youre fighting harder than me? it only shows you as an individual, nothing to do with me.
there are so many differences between any two people no matter how similar they may be. yet it is just in human nature to compare, contrast and spot the difference. think from the perspective of those involved. one party may be feeling hurt..
be considerate to how people feel.
damn.
know why i blogged about the issue of comparison?
today, G was feeling very very sad.
she was being compared against another girl.
a girl whom she helped train up.
she was very very depressed, indeed.
in front of her, W and M were praising that girl away.
LOUDLY.
it's okay. she's okay with it.
but W turned to her and said "eh how ah? she better than you already leh. you buay paiseh meh?"
praise praise praise. G already felt really down.
she knew that one day W would still leave her to stand independently, only stepping in to help at crucial moments.
yet today she felt so alone already.
she didnt have to have W all to herself.
what she wanted was just some concern.
but already down, was made worse by W's accusation.
she kept quiet. she really did.
she didnt want to talk.
she didnt want to explain.
she didnt want to say anything in defence of herself,
cos she knew she'd only be accused of cushioning her own inabilities.
tonight, i aint with you..
i told of my glory at 11:51 pm
chapter 85:
i didn't doubt it
but it's just strangely hard to believe.
then i saw you counting the days
of your absence-to-be,
made me want to cry.
it became so true,
so believable.
i do wonder what my presence means to you.
you said you felt lighter,
unloading your complaints to me.
sometimes i'd do so much for you,
i'd forget i'm only me.
such prohibited love,
maybe was never meant to be.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i feel so annoyed at myself.
lack of self-control and discipline which brought me and someone else into serious trouble today.
oh yes. as an additional point, i reached eunos 10 minutes earlier than
sense of achievement i felt indeed!
and what a pig he is :DD
i told of my glory at 10:19 pm
i felt so MOTIVATED (pronounced mo-dee-vae-ded according to mr S) today. really. but i suddenly had the feeling of walking into a wall.
but mr mengwee, i've learnt.
youre changing me. personality-wise. you really are.
your abilites in influencing me really shock me at times that im so shocked by my own thinking too.
i think youre making me a more matured person.
im beginning to think more sensibly :DD
though you make me feel like a kid at times HAHA!!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
mysterious boyfriend was singing this just now. nice song.
我不知不觉
又徘徊在从前
秋风悄悄的呼唤
听来尽是孤单
落叶的期盼
片片左右为难
心走寂寞攀
跟著飘进黑暗
我不闻不问
也许好过一点
被遗憾关在房间
挣扎只是拖延
无望的空谈
一声声的轻叹
回忆扯不断
怎么摆脱纠缠
找不到方向
往彩虹天堂
有你说的爱
在用幸福触摸忧伤
两个人
相守直到白发苍苍
自由的飞翔在灿烂的星光
有你在我身旁
i told of my glory at 12:04 am
Friday, 9 May 2008
chapter 84:
i felt so motivated, only to be thrown back onto the ground,
hit harder than never before.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i went to li fung's appointments with mr mengwee today.
he asked if i learnt anything, yes, but the main takeaway wasnt what i learnt. it was deeper realisation. i've realised mr steve is indeed correct. the MEs nowadays CMI. im one of them. though i used to always pride myself for doing damn-SOLID PPs, i've realised im still not ready for appointments.
appointment isnt all about presentation. it's about price-solving, confidence game. i didnt get to do any complete presentations at all today. i felt like each time i was stopped, i was walking against the wall. mr mengwee gave me the challenge of an unprepared chinese presentation. i failed miserably. he took over halfway. cos i kept turning around for help.
doing the chinese presentation, i felt insecure.
sitting behind him and learning, i felt safe.
i was impressed by mr mengwee's extreme product confidence. he says it's through experience that he learnt that.
if only upline allows me to follow him on appointments..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
as a sidenote,
i really really really want to thank mr mengwee for always giving me chances to learn, plannings to fulfil, chances to fight again..
im not emo mr mengwee.
im thinking.
i told you im thinking but you dont believe. neh.
on the way back i was thinking how could i really show my appreciation- to fight, really. then he thought im emo-ing cos i sat beside him on the bus and didnt talk. i've been missing the past 4 months' worth of planning, yet he never once scolded me, never once showed displeasure towards me. his patience towards me is really..
it goes beyond what my own sponsor has ever done for me.
im not negative about my own sponsor. it's just..
i really hold mr mengwee in really high regard. he's been such a great CA, a great teacher to me. though at times im really tee-down him. it's cos he's so much like a brother to me.
somehow it's different. when i look at longjun the feeling's just very different. it's just different. and i know the difference..
i told of my glory at 11:22 pm
chapter 83:
the irony of the relaxation and the stress i feel
when i see you.
i need to uphold the image,
yet i cant help but show the ugly side of me.
attitude.
no. im losing faith.
and most importantly, im losing the love..
im sorry..
im losing..
save me from the gallows of distraction..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
firstly, im feeling very very very full until now. had dinner only at 9 plus cos we were.. talking. was intending to eat only cheese fries which i've been craving for, but ended up sharing the cheese fries with angmengwee and he also ordered spring chicken then say share. argh. the spring chicken damn oily T.T that's what made me feel so bloated =x
so yea,
so many things running through my mind, so little time to say them out..
many things are happening at the same time and im really for once, glad to say TGIF tmr. this past week has been injuries-filled, tears-filled, sweat-filled, painful. i cant say nothing went right. wen bin made my day with his million dollar smile daily, jeanette and tammy made me crazy in class each day, angmengwee's daily dosage of ga jiaos and motivations, and i kept giving myself self-reminders.
i talked to miss lois after dinner just now. i just felt the need to say those things out. my real thoughts and motivation and.. everything. i wish mr mengwee was there to listen. he would have been glad for me. but he was walking so far ahead with mr jimmy T.T
im feeling the change.
i speak my true feelings.
6 months later, finally..
now AMW is saying he treats me as his direct. he's personally taking care of me already. i like that. but either way, i must hit MM. i dont want to disappoint mr mengwee already. he's been putting alot of effort into me. :DD not forgetting of cos, my upline, though i dont know why he's treating me like that..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
on the other hand, just read D's blog and really, i think of L when i look at him. I DONT KNOW WHY. but there's this real stark contrast between the two of them. obviously, but well. why is he so.. i dont know how to describe.
"I realise I still miss you alot
I could'nt forget you
No matter how hard I try
The times when we were chatting
with each other
The times when you
cheer me up when I was down
Those memories have been
implanted in my mind"
how many guys can you find nowadays that do this kind of things and know how to really cherish?
why isnt L like that? maybe if he could give abit more.. concern?
oh well, but i know, i know of one guy who cherishes. rare. the one who passed me his phone to make a call. he showed me a msg with the no, then i was at his inbox, and i saw a few msgs from me. msgs expressing my thanks, my appreciation, my.. love? no. care and concern would be more appropriate.. but yea, this guy's out of reach. ever since i knew him i know he may be my best friend but nothing more to it. so im cherishing this perfect friendship we have now. :DD
but then again, D is always so.. i wouldnt call that emo, but he's usually.. lack of a true smile. i've known him longer than i knew WB. yet WB's smile really emits a kind of.. aura. that aura never fails to make me feel energised, motivated, you said it. the first thing i ever noticed about wen bin was his smile.. i want to bring a smile to your face. i know im not her, neither do i wish to replace her. but please, as a friend? wont you just give me a chance to? im finding it really difficult to even get close. either way, youre maintaining concern at a distance..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today i was really annoyed at my own managers. all 5 of them. dont wish to elaborate who. but i almost had to do EVERYTHING for people who are not under me. there were alternative sources of help within our team, but everyone was being damn f* up with their own things. i couldnt be bothered less and i just HAD to find someone to do the biz plan for me. i
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
is this detachment, or is this giving up and loss of hope?
i know they mean well.
but i just cant stop myself from thinking this way.
things get so messy at times,
i just need to find someone,
complain,
cry,
lament.
i told of my glory at 12:07 am
Wednesday, 7 May 2008
chapter 82:
distracted..
distracted..
ahh.....
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
my leg is bleeding bleeding bleeding..
the blood just seems to flow non-stop.
everytime i take the plaster away, it flows again..
what a
all because i tried to ga jiao angchinkiong today :( it's called, retribution + stupidity to stand at the door.
main thing today wasnt this..
but..
wen bin hit MM today evening!!
youre that motivation i've been looking for! YEA! i know i can catch up with him! pacer pacer pacer!! nevermind if i cannot catch up with ZL already. cos he's already a MM for 2/3 months. but WBWBWB!! :DD
in the afternoon, i saw him when i was outside the building and he came over. we talked and i asked him about his journey to MM. (kind of interrupted by mr leon and he went back to miss jasmine :( )
he went for 9 appointments before he finally managed to close one fresh air + one pillow pad to hit his first position, SE.
i really admire his perserverence. 9 appointments!! no wonder miss jasmine says he's a good presenter already.
furthermore, his relatives are not in SG and he went for appointments with his mother's friends etc.
in less than 2 months he hit his MM position.
what about me?
stagnant for 4 months already! AIYOH!!
NOW i really am motivated!!
it's really weird how i suddenly felt the rush through me today.
maybe it was his million-dollar smile which motivated me,
maybe it was just him.
maybe it was because i saw him from since his first day in VE, saw him from a SA to an MM,
maybe it was just..
i needed to hit MM..
HAHA.
it's weird how things happen. i thought mr S would be the best motivation, i thought mr mengwee would be the best motivation, i thought miss lois would be the best motivation. apparently i was wrong!! it's him that motivates me!! that day when he talked to me at b1, i immediately got 4 recruitments! SOLID! is it luck? i dont know. but he gives me a type of confidence i can never find elsewhere..
SO YEA, BACK TO HITTING MM!!
my target is this month.
mr mengwee gave me an all-new planning just now.
within reach.
14572LV is what wen bin already cleared.
with 4 downlines, one of whom is a 1-3 day ME, the other 3 i think one more ME and 2 SEs.
he has his own organisation.
now im starting. i'll build it the binary way.
im gonna follow mr mengwee's planning tightly.
I WILL.
i told miss zhiying, mr adrian, mr jimmy and miss nad that i'll fight and hit MM this month. TALK LOUDLY!!
SO I CANNOT BE NATO!!
miss zhiying say cannot be NATO!! NATO= no action talk only.
cos in january and february already NATO. march and april DONT KNOW DOING WHAT!!
now im already a SME. senior ME. not sausage macmuffin with eggs!!
TIME TO HIT MM AND IMPRESS!!
so most importantly,
ensure that my 2 new people will fight WITH ME!! :DD
I'LL MAKE SURE MY MM SPEECH WILL HAVE THE GREATEST IMPACT IN MY LIFE!!
I'LL MAKE SURE HE REMEMBERS ME AS THE ME HE CHANGED!!
I'LL MAKE SURE YOU ALL KNEEL BEFORE ME!! MUAHAHAHA!!
ok the last sentence was bullsh*t. LOL!!
im waiting to be called MISS huifang yea!! :DD
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
ester told me he's worth fighting for.
worth fighting for to be boyfriend. HAHA.
know who she was referring to?
MR wen bin :DD
HAHA!! i remember how derrick described him. i almost died laughing at how derrick described him. now to recall, it's still hilarious. stupid derrick lah really. HAHA.
i told of my glory at 11:42 pm
Tuesday, 6 May 2008
chapter 81:
OH HOW TOTALLY EMBARRASSING T.T
but the smile and the..
way you look at..
me..
awwwwww!!
from different phones,
to u700 SLIDE touch :)
to the SAME
someone's suspecting..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
school was BORING LEH. errrh, nothing much happened today, really.
only interesting thing that happened today was.. my talk with longjun..
we were at level 1. oh well. i wonder why he likes that.. place so much. maybe cos for the same reason why i like that particular table at level 1. LOL. but anyway, we had kind of a.. thrash-out session about this and that.
oh as a sidenote, me and azura were SO unglam T.T cos i told her there there there, my cute guy at my 11oclock. then she look straight forward and pointed to some bangalah outside. NEH. in the end even jinghui laughed till..... UNTIL SHE SAW HIM and we both burst out laughing. AND HE AND MR YANLONG TURNED AROUND LAH! SHIT!! THEN!! we walked out and AMW said we're so noisy. then both he and jimmy saw a girl in green at the traffic light and started bio-ing o.O NEHHHH.
but anyway, i was arguing with angmengwee whether my TEE UP is good or not. LOL. cos at first i thought miss lois was teaching b role, but in the end she was teaching tee up so i went for grouping instead of listening to her teach azura and li fung. but i got suan-ed instead. NEHNEH. my tee up is good okay, i greet mr ivan, mr steve, mr nick, mr yanlong, mr jiuyuan, mr jeremy, mr jeremy, mr zhiliang, miss corrine, miss zhiying, miss jam etc etc EH HELLO EVEN MM I ALSO GREET LEH nabi nabi. i greet BMs, CAs and MMs who know me :) YAYYY. of cos BGMs also greet LAH. but anyway, angmengwee insists i dont tee him up. HAHA o.O but mr jimmy says my tee up is quite good :) HAHA. and we were talking about myron's tee up being good and HAHA HE WAS JUST BEHIND THE WALL LOL! damn. :DD
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i hate being in the centre. i hear this side of the story and i hear the other. im just but an executive waiting for the one i can follow.
yes i can be your listening ear.
but i want to judge for myself..
i dont want to be overly dependent on you..
but i will follow you..
i told of my glory at 11:34 pm
Monday, 5 May 2008
chapter 80:
such a blank at times
i lose myself
i lose my direction
plunged into darkness..
tell me what youre thinking, will you?
stop me from guessing..
please..
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today i got insulted by 0820's beloved-and-most-lovely pualala. thanks alot uh, saying i wrote a pokemon essay. i was merely following his teachings of "cite example after elaboration". damn. NEVER MIND. i failed by 1.5 marks only. HAHA. T.T
and did i mention i love 0820? just to re-emphasize, really. especially when jeanette sits beside me in class. omg i think the whole class could go mental. and chin kiong is DAMN cute lah please, this is the 2nd time i saw him laugh till cry. and oh well, both me and jeanette really laughed till we cried in chem tutorial. LOL. the jokes come one after another, and jeanette has this weird whiny sound after she finishes laughing which sends me laughing away again. haha.
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and YAY MY UPLINE IS FUNNY. haha. just now he just you know, randomly called me when he was on the bus and told me to "yao fight leh" HAHA. and blah blah. AIYAH. but just now on msn i told him that i went to meet someone from something-something company and meet his "boss" and he was..
loNG JuN ™ ... Love to Talk, Love to Laugh, Love to Smile. says:
tmr go for cs
HUIFANG reading chapter 80: a LOVE forgotten, a BROTHER i saw.. says:
huh?
loNG JuN ™ ... Love to Talk, Love to Laugh, Love to Smile. says:
you so interested with ega
loNG JuN ™ ... Love to Talk, Love to Laugh, Love to Smile. says:
must go cs liao
HUIFANG reading chapter 80: a LOVE forgotten, a BROTHER i saw.. says:
HAHA
HUIFANG reading chapter 80: a LOVE forgotten, a BROTHER i saw.. says:
if i really so interested in ega i wouldnt have joined ve already somemore stay so long leh!
HUIFANG reading chapter 80: a LOVE forgotten, a BROTHER i saw.. says:
even though no result luh ): hurhur
loNG JuN ™ ... Love to Talk, Love to Laugh, Love to Smile. says:
still got face to say
loNG JuN ™ ... Love to Talk, Love to Laugh, Love to Smile. says:
eeee
loNG JuN ™ ... Love to Talk, Love to Laugh, Love to Smile. says:
bui pai say de
HUIFANG reading chapter 80: a LOVE forgotten, a BROTHER i saw.. says:
REALLY WHAT!! mr mengwee say before, those agents that join during my time all sure lost one. when i join we all so nuah one lah!
loNG JuN ™ ... Love to Talk, Love to Laugh, Love to Smile. says:
then prove to people you all can achieve something in ve and fight for something
so yea, just now i went to meet ****. he.. we walked and talked, until we walked past the block. haha. oh well. so, his "boss" is a 22 year old guy who looks.. older than mr dewey by 5 years. lol. mr dewey's age is.. HAHA i shant say. oh well. so HIS COMPANY is.. ahh to put it simply, who said opportunity doesnt knock twice? ahh, maybe abit weird to say opportunity. i still believe in working for my own income for my future :DD
and i dont believe
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so yea, i then rushed down for company updates today. MADE IT IN TIME :DD angmengwee miss-called me 5 times. sorry sorry :( i ran lah! all the way from mrt station to 190 changi road. nehneh. =xx when i went in they were singing "we will get there" already. LOL. went in and first thing i saw was.. MR STEVE SINGING!! AHHHH i almost burst out laughing haha. and he still happily hold the mic and stand at the back you know. LOL. when i walked past i was -.-||| anyway, there were.. 6 speakers today- mr seb, mr glenn, mr danny, mr kit, mr dewey, mr steven. i didnt stay to listen to mr steven cos.. i was tired already. ALMOST couldnt tahan anymore. AND UNCOMFORTABLE :(
so yea, when i was walking out of the room i turned around and
this song..
once again it's back in my life?
maybe..
it sounds real nice when he's singing it leh :DD
男:转身离开 认真说不出来
女:你有话说不出来
男女:海鸟跟鱼相爱 只是一场意外
男女:我们的爱 暇逸一直存在
女:回不来
男:永久真爱 竟累积成伤害
女:等待经历几次伤害
男女:转身离开 分手说不出来
男女:蔚蓝的珊瑚海 错过瞬间苍白
男:当初彼此 不够成熟坦白
女:你有我的 不够成熟坦白
不应该
男:热情不改 笑容勉强不来
女:你的笑容勉强不来
男女:爱上那珊瑚海
AND AND AND, :DD
只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴 安静的旧旧的
我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道 你没有舍不得
你说你也会难过我不相信
牵着你陪着我 也只是曾经
希望他是真的比我还要爱你
我才会逼自己离开
你要我说多难堪 我根本不想分开
为什么还要我用微笑来带过
我没有这种天份 包容你也接受他
不用担心的太多 我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开 我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份 安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你 是因为我太爱你
HAHA..
i told of my glory at 10:27 pm
Sunday, 4 May 2008
chapter 79:
you
if only i knew you before then
maybe things could have been different for me..
and you always say, we'd share this life.. this success..
belonging to you..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today my mysterious boyfriend has come to light and his name is wen bin. doesnt that ring a bell? yea right man. stupid angmengwee cant stop disturbing me about that today. just because i finally got back his probes from wenbin after..... 3 days. argh. hadnt seen him what what to do o.O but anyway, NO LAH PLEASE. wenbin's just a fren. as much as how much derrick is. so jinghui and angmengwee can jolly well continue disturbing me. *yawns. the love still remains okay.
on the other hand, wenbin is left with 1 queen which is approx 2000LV, to his manager position. he's been in this company for only barely 2 months, and coincidentally, he caught my eye the moment he joined. maybe cos he looked like someone i knew, or he emitted a different kind of aura. it's weird how the human mind works at times and i really wonder why did i even notice him. maybe that's fate, cos 2 days later he came by to borrow a pen, from me. and we got to know each other. 3 days ago, he borrowed probes from me. i lent it to him from angmengwee's kit. he was going out on appointments.. envious i was, indeed..
today, at that moment he came to return me the probes, i asked him how much had he left to MM. his answer was one which shocked me. i never expected his progress to be that fast. that moment, there was this ache in me that made me feel so suffocated. i dont know how my facial expression read, but he smiled his million-dollar smile and turn away.
and he told me, all the best..
im really glad for him,
but i really...
doesnt this whole post seems like it's about him? hell. im not done yet LAH.
today me, longjun and jinghui went to chicken cutlet and waited for close to an hour for our food cos the stall wasnt opened yet. okay my bad. i kept bugging longjun to go eat go eat go eat =x sorry upline :(
things are getting better, arent they? i hope so..
i told of my glory at 11:40 pm
Saturday, 3 May 2008
maybe i should modify my BRIGHT future a little.
i want to be a motivational speaker.
i have this great friend of mine in school, let's just call her N.
N called me on friday night, sounding REAL horrid and distraught that i couldnt even understand what she was talking. apparently she was saying "is this huifang". OH WELL! her tone was SOOOOOOO unlike her!
i was damn hungry at that moment, and annoyed that i couldnt go on miss jam's appointment due to some miscommunication between miss lois and miss jam. so there i was, stuck indoors and being a "nanny" with lucinda to azura and fion. not that i minded, but i was kind of annoyed that i felt so alone that night, especially seeing others go out on appointment, including my
i walked out to "THE AREA" and there was no one. i sat there, and talked to N. she was feeling really down cos she felt that a particular classmate M didnt like her, her parents showed her attitude, and her brother was being immature.
i tried my best, i really did. after 16 minutes on the line, with me pacing to and fro "THE AREA" cos mr bryan was there a minute later and he was LOOKING at me, i finally calmed her down and help make her feel better :) she was sounding much more pleasant and due to call of duty, i had to hang up then.
what i told her was
1. since youre in this shit, rather than saying how smelly this shit is, think of the good points of being in this shit. (though i missed out the line on positively being accustomed to how the shit smells like compared to the rest of the world)
2. since you cant change the world to suit your happiness, change your mindset to suit the world. youd be a happier person.
3. it's all about mindset.
4. if you think what you are doing does not do harm to those around you, nor does it create trouble, why care what others think about it?
i guess it really all boils down to
1. mindset, and
2. girls being girls.
miss lois taught me one thing- ladies have the emotional factor cos we read too much into small things, making them big problems.
personally, im still experiencing communication problems with my own sponsor, with whom i was supposed to be closest with. but i know this can be worked out. cos the worse thing that can ever happen in our trade, is to lose faith in my own sponsor.
so talking about us JC students in general.
ultimately, we are in a JC to obtain an A level qualification certificate. since we're on this path, make the best of it no matter how rough this path gets, no matter what gets in our way.
i may be a retainee, but i make good use of this chance for me to repeat J1. rather than lamenting about the fact that im one year older compared to my fellow lovely classmates, i make the best out of it. i help them with what experience i have from last year, i forewarn them of things to expect. so much so that many times, i forget im one year older than them. i can go on and lament about how miserable i am being a retainee and still not getting my As, yet i just move on and maybe once in awhile, stop and lament to angmengwee who is always there as a listening ear.
i dont deny that being in a JC is tough- CCA, friendship, studies. life just seems to revolve around these 3 magnificently-time-consuming duties. having to cope with letting everyone be happy with you, accepting you for who you are, wanting to do good yet at the same time STILL no offend anyone, i dont deny that's a difficult task. but we are who we are. those who accept you for who you are, they are your friends.
so again, take A for example. this is a very very close friend of mine. he tells me of my problems, not cos he wants to tell me off, but cos he's helping me overcome these problems. my problems have been identified as being persistent in protecting myself, losing focus easily and losing myself in helping others. sounds so noble? not at all. i help others so much i tend to forget what im supposed to be doing. one by one, i know A will help me overcome them. these problems may not affect me as a student now, but in the working society, they affect me very badly. i have A who's always there to help me and bring me back on path.
i like the sense of achievement i feel when i accomplish something, regardless of talking about mindset, about determination, about objective. it's the change in people i bring about which makes me happy. put it simply, im helping them. put it in more complex terms, im changing them. success or failure depends on mindset. happiness or depression depends on mindset. it all boils down to something so simple, yet so complex.
mindset can be changed. so once again, change yourself to suit the world, make yourself a happier person, rather than sulk and moan about the world going against you.
let me be the one to help you, to bring you back on your path.
it really matters to have a listening ear. so im gonna be a listening ear, ALWAYS THERE :)
no matter who you are..
i may help the world, but i cant help you, if you dont give me a chance to..
i told of my glory at 11:56 pm
chapter 78:
some dreams make our achievements greater.
if you'd just turn back and hold my hand,
and bring me to success.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
firstly, jinghui the annoying nehneh keeps saying derrick is my boyfriend just cos he heard me calling derrick that day, knew i borrowed lightbulb from him a couple of times, and cos he saw me talking to him at office. LOL. stupid jinghui. just cos he doesnt know who derrick is. and know how he said it?
nad: "anyone got miss heidi no?"
huifang: "i have her downdownline no you want?"
nad: "who is her downdownline?"
jing: "derrick lo, huifang's boyfriend."
?!??!?!?!?! %()@*(^*$()@*^()*% stupid jinghui.
also, jinghui the annoying shit kept telling me not to turn around during the HOR grouping today cos if i see mr S i'll laugh non-stop.
so yea, had house of red grouping today.
finally mr swee siang was awarded blazer today. HANDSOME SEH! :) feel so glad for him. and it's time for me to buck up!! and azura saw her "cute hair" ryan go onstage too. HAHA.
longjun says he's gonna start his car incentive this month. i cant help but feel glad for him, yet at the same time worried cos..
OH WELL.
overall, grouping was great and mr steven and mr kit spoke to us. and HOBBY CAME TODAY!! HAHA. finally saw her again after sooooo long. and just now after the grouping, miss chelsy gathered the SHA ladies to plan an outing!! WOOHOO xD mondayyyy!! and the KTA people were celebrating mr calvin's birthday (belated) in the seminar room. AWWW lovely.. :)
on an extra sidenote, can i have alex for my birthday? his smile is SOOOOOO cute! HAHA. just now was at THE AREA when he came to borrow something from me. ARGHHH. i knew he is from taurus but i didnt know him name. AWWWW xD WHAT A SWEEEEET SMILE!!
oh when will be the time for me to make my MM speech?
cos i want to tell them,
i love them. really.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
maybe that's lust or what known as beyond friendship,
but when you appeared it was just..
you just took my breath away.
is it really the relationship between the two of you?
cos why do i actually feel the same?
when you walked past,
i started stuttering. (li fang saw)
when he walked past,
i stopped to look.
i wonder what's going on.
HA!
i told of my glory at 9:37 pm
chapter 77:
leaves an emptiness behind..
maybe i should learn to live without you :)
INDEPENDENCE DAY!! xD
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HAHA. i just came home from a late night outing. IRONMAN IS SO NICE xD but ARGHS. my feet are hurting all thanks to.. my stupid court shoes. nehneh. was supposed to help miss jam attach appointment, but was cancelled cos she wanted me to attend falcon group up instead. BUT THE PROBLEM IS THE GROUP UP IS FOR BMs ONLY AND NOT INCLUDING ME LAH :( ^)*($#(^%$.. never mind! and i was hguging angmengwee's laptop like a bolster for the whole movie HAHA. just cos he asked me to help him take i decided to uhh, make good use of it. LOL!
so just now from eunos to woodlands cos jimmy had to return his car to his dad, then to macs and cabbed down to orchard. nehneh. JIMMY, KELVIN AND FION BULLY ME LAH. actually supposed to be me and fion in a cab, then the 3 guys together. in the end stupid kelvin suggested me and angmengwee take one cab then they 3. cos of organisational structure. BLEH. in the end AMW and i were sleeping in the cab lah please. when i fell asleep, expressway. when i woke up 10 minutes later, expressway :( in the end when we reached cine, saw blue cougar people. HAHA. bang wei was also there.
kind of chatting with hobby and derrick through derrick's blog's tagboard. haha. they keep praising mr steve- "mr steve is really very good" OH WELL. sometimes cant help but wonder why there isnt this thing happening in my team eh? AIYAH. never mind. i love my team can already xD HAHA..
AND TAURUS WENT TO WATCH IRONMAN ALSO. HAHA. derrick also just reached home. but they watched it at downtown east cos they were having a bbq at pasir ris. OH WELL. :) we were at north and they were at east. UHHHHHH..
AIYAH, JUST REMEMBERED. SAMSUNG SUCKS LEH HOW AH. i sent my phone in for repair, came back nice and working at the shop, but when i reached eunos IT SPOILT WORSE THAN EVER!! ARGHS. samsung owes me big time now. gonna go back to dhoby ghaut tmr!! ZZZ.
oh yah, NR1 is FAST! only took me 20 minutes to reach home!! xD
OFF TO SLEEP ALREADY!!
i told of my glory at 3:26 am
Friday, 2 May 2008
i just went to read my friendster testimonials. all of them. all 368. though not alot but most mean alot to me. friends' encouragements, misses, times of tough periods, times of happiness..
i realised..
"my darling huifang. nvr expect that i will write u a testimonial right. hmmx. i miss u so much! though u are not with me doing duties now. though we are not hugging together to cry anymore. but i am sure we are still good and close friends. hmmx. how are u ? alot of things happen u noe. hmmx. find one day go out k. yupps. drop me a testimonial la k. thanks anyway."
and
"no matter wad happen in the past or coming future. i will rmb there's a huifang doing duties with me. giving me a hug when i am sad. scolding ppl together. though u are not in council now. your heart is there. i feel it. i sense it. though u don wan come back council. but i still encourage u to see Lim. yupps."
both from the same person.
our paths have crossed again and once again we're on the same boat. (more or less)
3 (or isit 4?) years ago, i was the one crying and she was the one consoling me. there to hug me when i cried.
today i was the one consoling her. but i believed, she would be strong.
she didnt disappoint me.
im sure she'll be the one im fighting alongside with.
ester, all the way :)
another person who crossed my path once again was the one i once quarreled with. yet when we crossed paths again, she was the one who was the one i confided in. i did all i could to change her for the better, with help from the mentors. she conceded defeat somehow. yet remained nonchalant and now she's gone. she was the one who reminded me of my primary motivational factor, helped me realise my incapabilities as her sponsor, brought me only closer to my chicken and squid through her insults towards them. though nick is still here and in fact, he knows me now. she's no longer here, going to the furthest extents to avoid us. it's really disappointing to know that the one i put most efforts into grooming has given up. i had to be strong to overcome that obstacle, really.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
in the past 6 months,
one by one,
they left me.
first was the first guy,
then was the whole group of ladies,
and even the others.
maybe not physically lost, but totally emotionally lost.
im now seen standing as an individual.
but independent?
no.
the once-named guardian angel was lost, so was the buddy.
until the truth came along and motivated me to fight on.
time and again, i face such setbacks, such emotional problems which push me down once and again. i always have this repeated dream at the end of a particularly exhausting day. me crying on stage when im up there wearing a blazer. through thorough inference, i assume that's my MM speech. in tears? of happiness or sadness? i dont know.
attach and detach..
this is what i learn from the person who has always been there until today. he finally decided to solve this EMO problem i'd been having recently.
and in fact, 6 months i've been in VE, he never once left me alone. despite my inability and lack of mental strength to fulfil plannings made for me, he never once told me he'd given up on me, yet held on. i could still see the future all thanks to him, cos im always blinded by setbacks and non-ve problems. i guess he really did learn most from the period of oct to dec 07. now i know, i finally see it clear. im fighting for myself, and he's there to always help me and guide me along, set me back on the right path when i lose focus. i know im still having the will to fight on all thanks to him who's always there to pick me up whenever i fall.
maybe i'll tell him the truth one day..
the truth which amuses me, and even the closest people never knew about.
when will that be, i dont know.
but i know, when i tell him that,
we'll laugh at me being silly in the past.
but if that silliness takes me far,
why not?
i dont forget those who care, love, and help me all the way.
those who always encourage me, help me in one way or another, no matter how small your gesture is, i really appreciate all of them. thanks. let me think for a moment,
from the team it's always miss lois, mr mengwee, mr jinghui, mr longjun, mr jimmy, nadzirah.
mr shunjie who never fails to make me feel so blur,
miss jam who is always so bright and cheery and has the locker beside mine,
miss zhiying who never fails to make me laugh with her humour,
mr swee siang once-my-pacer-now-hit-MM,
nicholas whom i confided in until something happened,
mr steve who has a different way of replying to HAO everyday and i always remember miss lois says he's damn zhai and also his CS which i'll never forget,
derrick whom i always borrowed lightbulb from until i finally rmbred to bring my own,
meijuan whom i really look up to as her willpower is really strong,
mr yanlong whose CS i will never forget,
shiyong who always.. "eh you left how much to MM?",
mr zhiliang who is always faster than me in everything but also motivates me,
ester my best sister, ETC ETC ETC and i cant really remember all at this moment. but really, they make my time there so worth it. those happy times...
i told of my glory at 12:07 am