Monday, 31 March 2008
chapter 45:
it's a blank today
HAHA.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
AGGRESSIVE! starting today!! i msged derrick to tell him i returned the lightbulb i borrowed from him to miss jasmine cos he wasnt around when i went back from appointment. lol. then i DONT KNOW what came over me and i just asked him to ask his BM if i can follow him on appointment. HAHA. shitssss. and D said he says to msg him directly. omg omg omfg. HAHA. talk to him online about it later.
anyway, went for avian's appointment today. with mr mengwee. took cab down but we were still earlier than hong ming and others. zzz. 23bucks seh. and mr mengwee was a little annoyed cos all my other downlines tagged along to avian's house. haha. oh well. and what's worse was they left halfway. especially hong ming!! ARGHS. me the upline, me bad. ): so didnt manage to close anything luh, but pending sales. and his mom was really damn interested in the products, just that his dad was a total turnoff really. so i guess my first attached appointment is like that. haha. not a bad experience, especially seeing mr mengwee present in mandarin!! x)
then after that went to take train seh. mr mengwee was nice enough to take the same side as me haha. cos we were at choa chu kang. he wanted to go to orchard and i had to get to eunos. so he took the train with me by the jurong side. HAHA. (: then stupid nehneh keep suan-ing me on the train. ZZZ. haha.
and and and, today damn funny please. i went to office machiam chit chat like that. was talking with derrick until mr steve came. cos anyway my side longjun busy with franklin. haha. their cubicle really motivational seh. bmw z4, maserati, odie... NABI. i also want.
*hints: you know what to get for my birthday. i want a car model! LOL*
and and and, damn zhai please, mr S bring D go appointment damn fast come back with one pending cal*. SOLID! i dont see why D wont hit SE then (: HAHA. oh well. then went for lunch with D, franklin, dawn and alvin. stupid D is the only non-falcon HAHA. but okay de! all from one house of red HORRRRR (: haha. then after that was talking with him outside. nabi nabi. upline suddenly call me damn gan jiong tell me pack kit. ZZZ. stupid nehneh. HAHA.
then.. LIKE THAT LAH! haha. waiting for the kookoo derrick to come online to tell me about..
APPOINTMENT!! HAHAHAHA.
im so gonna go on an appointment with my idol soon! MAYBE LAH HAHAHA.
if you dare to think about it,
DO IT!
if you dont dare to do it,
YOURE WEAK!
i told of my glory at 11:30 pm
Sunday, 30 March 2008
negative.
really.
flashbacks bringing back fond memories
a contrast from now
sometimes feeling so alone like no one bothers
those who bother are always so busy
i know they care
but they're not always there for me
particularly when i need someone
there's no one there
sometimes i just need someone to give me an encouragement
i just need that sugar rush
i can be laughing away and be hard at work
i can seem undaunted by the fact that im lonely
but what can never change is the mindset im having
sometimes i just want to cry out when it gets so tiring
having to manage the roles i have to play
being a fulltime jc student
being a responsible ME fighting for MM
always holding a positive attitude
always ready to help
always ready with a smile
cos in your eyes that's huifang
no one sees the weak side of huifang
no one..
huifang is a marketing executive
she is told that she is treated as a manager
she is seen as a manager
so she has to behave like a manager
and has to always be ready to fulfil the roles of a manager
anytime
anyday
but im not ready
cos i havent crossed the emotional barrier
but no one wants to listen
anyone willing to counsel me on this?
i havent found anyone.
emotions management..
how i can cross this dependence barrier..
how i can be independent..
i guess it's really true i learn things the hard way
make me cry
make me beg
make me really cry till i wanna die
then will i learn
but how in ve can i learn this way
there's no time
no one will wait for me..
i was given a pacer who is 10k LV away from BM position
i have 2 nice friends who are already fighting for BM
i have many friends fighting for MM
but who out there
can really fight with me?
experience the pain
experience the hardship
go through this shit
and grow and mature
with me?
all of them are but people who can give me temporary recovery
cos i dont feel the motivation
those who can really keep me on track
are those who have succeeded
im but a 17 year old girl
im just a girl
im really just a girl
can someone just put in more effort and understand me a little more?
cos i realised
i have many friends at ve
i know so many so many people in ve
but how many of them
are those who fight WITH me
and understand me
i can say,
almost no one..
and, forget the chapters.
reasons to leave you overwhelm me.
i told of my glory at 11:46 pm
chapter 44:
and i wonder,
why sometimes things happen this way.
why did i take the risk in getting involved in this mess with you
when i couldnt even see the future in us.
cos i really couldnt see the path ahead,
but i knew i'd get to a turning somehow,
where you'd make a difference in life.
it's not wish,
it's foresight.
if you dont try,
how would you know what would happen?
im glad i tried,
im glad you planned.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
day today was really really rotten.
went to office,
copied some stuff on my own,
went out to eat with mr jimmy and downline,
came back and copied more,
talked with nic,
thats all.
i was happily typing the above,
AND NOW MY MOOD IS RUINED ALL THANKS TO YOU.
received a msg from nic.
fucked up. i dont wish to say.
this is not the first time happening.
WHY THE HELL IS YOUR MOUTH SO BIG??!
i really feel damn annoyed each time you do something as stupid as this.
WHY??!
love the heart that hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you..
how many more casualties before it'll be me? i wonder..
brother's not there to help me now..
i told of my glory at 10:19 pm
Saturday, 29 March 2008
chapter 43:
if it's really about the future,
then maybe it's long term.
if it's only for that moment,
how long can that moment last?
moment of passion is strong,
but not lasting.
all it took was a week of planning,
me being duped into believing it was supposed to be the chicken,
and the passion is strong enough,
to last with the squid till chapter 43 so far.
and many more to go.
and, i love those pleasant gifts.
get me another phone? LOL.
im seriously just kidding. :)
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
sports carnival today was a lousy event. SERIOUSLY. the stupid touch rug umpires for my court got fcking attitude problem please. dont think you all j2s then big arh. nehnehs. they nvr explain rules to us then kbkb. %T)$*T^(E*$QW then the opponent team also HAIYOH one. bwg sia. then frisbee, ARHHHH haha!! SLIDE SLIDE AND GET WHACKED ON FACE BY FRISBEE AND LOST! T.T nabi nabi. haha. my class lost both events. NEVER MIND LAH we had fun on our own HAHA.
then after that chiong-ed to office. lol. handled 4 recruitments at one shot. still not steady enough. rushed through pp a little. lol. but omg, that guy. ye chi. wtf man. his eyes are damn damn damn damn nice. and i dont know why but he always leans over when im talking to him. maybe cos im too short HA but he isnt THAT tall either. and the lover was there when i was talking to ye chi so he was damn dulan-ed HAHA. but i think ye chi has a damn nice slang. omg. haha. that's just momentary infatuation LOL! but anyway, he's joined! HAHAHAHA.
and and and, nic saw my idol on mrt just now HAHA. cos idol went for SA at serangoon. and guess what. nic was with HER at that time HAHA. lucky him mr S didnt see them ha. and yea, glad for nic. lol. STUPID NICHOLAS. he thought my idol stays at serangoon lol o.O
my nose is seriously,
seriously,
i dont know how to describe it.
it feels horrid.
today again i felt the pain pierce through again.
why cant you be more conscious with your use of language?
can you at least make me feel better in this kind of situation?
can you all please let me feel worthy for once?
can you all stop demoralising me?
okay, i know he wasnt called down by me.
but can you at least stop harping on that fact?
i dont know if you are treating me the same way as how the-one-i-look-up-to does,
but i dont care.
cos i just want you
to for once,
realise how i feel,
know how i think,
know what i want.
consider my feelings for once.
please.
you never for once did.
and i thought you capable in dealing with emotions.
i was wrong i guess.
no one can blame me for always running off halfway when im doing calling to go meet the love.
cos he encourages me.
he really does.
and he solves my problems for me.
not like you.
you only make me feel like i exist once in 2 weeks.
you make me feel so weak cos im so incapable.
sometimes you make me feel so lost cos i can never understand what you want out of us.
sometimes i just hate it when you know something and i know you know but you dont ever talk to me about it.
it's just all about communication.
cant you for once,
make me happy,
like how i used to be at the beginning of the journey?
when communication was just the two of us.
it's just simplicity,
really.
things have gotten too far and too complicated.
i told of my glory at 10:54 pm
28 march post luh, but i just came home so yea. lol.
but firstly,
chapter 42:
the longest kiss VS the longest wait.
im waiting to find out the result. to which is more unbearable. HAHA.
positively unbearable or negatively, that's the question.
everything happens for a reason,
but we still cant find a reason for us.
cos we're a miracle.
OH YEA MAN. HAHA.
Life isn't about finding yourself..
Life is about creating youself!!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
many things happened!
1. WEIRD in school today (tammy knows)
2. met angxianqing for lunch!! :)
3. WEIRD me today
4. i stayed at office till 12.40am for night training
just reached home cos i took cab with mr mengwee and mr calvin sim WOOHOO!! HAHA. mr mengwee= jurong, mr cal= bukit batok, huifang= bishan. HAHA. share cab from eunos sia. lol.
okay how was i weird in school. hmm. DAMN FUNNY.
morning: lynette passed me her skirt and shorts cos she wanted to go pee. so me being me folded her skirt and shorts nicely. i said i felt like mummy and tammy laughed.
afternoon: tammy wanted to me to help her open her bottle cos she was eating curry puff at econs. i opened it for her and she said "thanks mummy" and i replied "dont mention it.. BABY!" LOL. damn. laughed like crazy. i dont know why i said that either HAHA but tammy has a weird
so i was WEIRD, really, the whole day. lol. ate oishi chicken + egg + unagi at 11am today. without rice! until 4.30pm when i went to eat black pepper chicken rice with her at PKMS i still didnt feel hungry. THEN WHATS WEIRD is that until 11pm when miss lois came back from her driving lessons she asked us to go eat but i still wasnt hungry. omg. i havent eaten any cal elements today seh o.O LOL.
so met angxianqing for lunch. nabi nabi. she DARE not go in office. smack her T.T in the end i walked to admin with her in my half u. LOL. lucky today dress down day but anyways, i was talking most of the time. updating her about her beloved mr C and yea, relating to her on what happened recently lo. hahah. she is STILL as pervertic as ever OH WELL.
then after that went home, bathe, went to toa payoh to meet chiaweijian to take something, then went to office. NABI NABI. traffic jam till what fck shit please. took me an hour to reach and i was damn damn damn annoyed zzzZzzz!! already 7.30pm lah! then mr jimmy, mr mengwee, dawn and mr jinghui just came back from EATING DUCK RIC AT BEDOK. nabi nabi!! but ANYWAY, think downline really like gonna stagnant liao lol. NEVER MIND LAH ALSO GOOD, then i hit manager. so she will be under me again and contribute to me WAHAHAHAH!! HAHAHA!! laugh till crazy still dont hit position? nabi. lol.
ANYWAY, really lend things out must chase after the person to take it back de. lent mr steve the green marker he never give me back T.T ask from him then he say at 3rd flr seminar room he forgot to bring it down. zzzz. then that time he borrowed that book from miss lois also havent return.. i want read one seh T.T then mr nick and mr mengwee very funny luh, always kaobei here kaobei there. lol. poor mr nick kenna bullied seh. haha.
and mr calvin came to office straight after book out seh. haha. he look damn funny in the army uniform. seem to make him look short LOL. everyone laughed at him when they saw him lah please! and he die die dont take out cap de! LOL. but anyway, he was damn tired seh. taurus had group up and played some funny game HAHA. and they left office at the same time as me and mr mengwee, which is like, close to 1am. cos i had night training with MISS LOIS POH. haha. i ownself find her de seh. cos since i was feeling so weird, might as well do something weird. HAHA. learnt to do debrief properly, more about products etc etc. haha. but miss lois and mr longjun left before we did. i was watching mr mengwee play football manager on his stupid-nuah-cork laptop. lol. then mr cal was waiting. stupid lah mr mengwee make mr cal wait when mr cal was looking so tired already lol. then we took cab. haha. he was like "xiao jie dui bu qi hor, think ni yao zuo qian mian, yin wei wo xu yao fang bag" HAHA. stupid AMW lah always fight to sit infront in mr jimmy's car today want sit behind on cab. then i chased him to the front lol. and mr cal very funny. when we past by traffic police he said "ehhh, we never put seatbelt!" cos the 2 of us sitting behind didnt. HAHA. damn funny lah him. until at braddell there then he was like "eh, you could have followed miss jasmine's car. she lives at toa payoh." AIYOH MR CAL! cos just now at office he asked me where i live i already said bishan. HAHA. blur luh him. but anyway, he took cab with us so im wondering how mr nick and mr steve went home. HAHA.
and and and, i just realised a few of my classmates got blog seh. and tagboard filled with my class people's tags! ARGH. IM SO NOT CAUGHT UP WITH THE CLASS!! :(
SPORTS CARNIVAL IN 5 HOURS!!
i told of my glory at 1:28 am
Thursday, 27 March 2008
chapter 41:
laughs..
Life isn't about finding yourself.. Life is about creating yourself!!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today was really really simple.
1. a CS with mr mengwee,
2. slight embarrassment infront of mr steve
3. talk with nic.
ahh so today was really funny. i was alone at falcon's cubicle when mr steve came over and wanted to borrow a marker. then i said we have it and i was looking for it in the drawer. so thinking miss lois kept it as it wasnt there, i told him so. so he asked me to call miss lois. then he looked at our table damn skeptically lah! wtf. damn embarrassing can. lol. then in the end i found the marker under the mess. HAHA. even miss lois didnt know where it was when i asked her lah! LOL. oh well.
and and and, i typed alot about the CS with mr mengwee. but the stupid laptop died on me and i lost the 20minutes worth of post. shall reflect tmr.
i told of my glory at 10:56 pm
Wednesday, 26 March 2008
chapter 40:
sometimes it's the simple pleasures of life,
like freely chatting,
crapping,
in front of everyone else (:
i love your praises.
I FEEL SHY SEH!!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Life isn't about finding yourself.. Life is about creating yourself!!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
so today mr mengwee was the OIC for 7pm BDA. haha. he found mr zhiliang to be host. HAHA. then i went upstairs with them cos mr mengwee told me to bring his laptop upstairs. then damn funny lah please. i went around asking people to go upstairs. everyone say orh orh orh then no one go up! LOL. and in the end mr ZL didnt get to host either, cos mr eric just walked out and started talking like that. HAHA. sians. and the only more senior agents there were mr nick and me. then he walked to the ava room there to find mr ivan yeo and mr mengwee. AH SIAN! then only me answering mr eric HAHA. he was like greeting the crowd and only i answered. HAHA. oh well. cannot blame. new agents training session is like that. so i go and ACT SENIOR HAHA!! okay lah really senior already. mr mengwee always say im SME= senior marketing executive AKA sausage macmuffic with egg. STUPID LAH. haha.
then so weird please. mr steve came to falcon cubicle ask for plain paper, NO ONE HAVE SEH. in the end i went locker take for him o.O then he said "see lah, look for ME better.." HAHA please seh miss jam they all there seh. i will paiseh one hor. but fight MM is like that one! EVERYTHING MUST HAVE. wahaha. from pen to paper to file to cal ion plus. WAHAHAHA!! (:
and in college!! today i was sleeping for more than 1 hour in the college library during the longggggggggggggggg break. too tired, too comfortable. but i couldnt fall asleep when i listened to songs. i only gradually fell asleep when i switched to listening to his recordings. some his singing, some his speeches, some his talks. i dreamt of 0723. i really did. i woke up and i really really really swear i felt like crying. i miss them alot. really. those times of crazy sabotages, birthday celebrations etc etc. and they say 2 years is too short. come on, 0723 is totally the love alright. i really really really miss them..
and there are so many reasons why i miss my friends from last year so much.
this particular good friend who hates cats to the core.
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
haha 1 more week. i treat u my na shou hao cai
fight on huifang!! (: chapter 40: LOVING every moment of this journey (: says:
na shou hao cai?
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
na shou hao cat!
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
honey roasted rotten cat with caramel sauce
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
im going to open a cafe
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
thats signature dish
fight on huifang!! (: chapter 40: LOVING every moment of this journey (: says:
and sell that
fight on huifang!! (: chapter 40: LOVING every moment of this journey (: says:
HAHA
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
then i got fried cat balls with curry
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
then got steam rotten cat with special sauce
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
serve with noodle soup or rice
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
then got. pan grilled sliced fresh cat with cat fur
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
must have drinks n desert to..
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
i got cat kachang! idea come from ice kachang
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
blended ice right. now blended cat!
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
then got blended cat milkshake
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
then signature dish combo meal. blended cat caramel juice .
totally hardcore. he really hates cats. HAHA.
there's still more.
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
to compete with indian prata stall.. i have prata wrap cat!
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
to compete with fast food chains
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
i have mushroom twist double cat burger
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
anw theres more to come!
fight on huifang!! (: chapter 40: LOVING every moment of this journey (: says:
omg
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
wan to know more?
fight on huifang!! (: chapter 40: LOVING every moment of this journey (: says:
crazy boy
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
yes u wan
fight on huifang!! (: chapter 40: LOVING every moment of this journey (: says:
HAHA
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
so yea here i come..
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
im using cat to blend n freeze to make cat flavour ice cream!
[ ZJ ] 2008 says:
theres cookies n cat ice cream
love the heart that hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you..
i told of my glory at 9:57 pm
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
chapter 39:
i ran away today not cos i was afraid of you
i ran away not cos i wanted you not
but cos i had not much time today.
only time enough for a simple greeting with a bright smile :)
cos i had to rush for cca. HAHA. T.T
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i really miss the times i had last year.
jc life felt like jc life.
last year lack of the constantly doing homework part though.
jc life doesnt feel entirely like jc life this year.
this year lacked of the fun factor.
maybe cos im too detached from ny this year. oh well.
im attached to another place.
different commitments.
im supposed to be a jc student..
what have you done to me..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
the idol was being evil today cos i almost banged into him at the corner at b1, and he laughed out loudly. oh shit. so many times i've almost banged into him already. first time was when i walked out of falcon's cubicle and he walked out from calling corner, him sms-ing and me very blur from having made too many calls. almost. but still a distance away. second time was at level 1 showroom. damn. that was hell fcking embarrassing cos im short compared to him so when i turned around 180degrees my face was right in front of his chest. like 1 or 2cm away only man! farkkkkk!! someone said is on purpose lo! damn malu. and there was this girl from his team who also knows me and she was STARING at me T.T so today is third time. ZZZ.
i find that i always have such kookoo-ish incidents at ve.
like how many times i almost banged HEAD ON into THIS PARTICULAR MANAGER. omg please those times were T.T totally.. omg lah. head on sia. if heng (or suay) abit more and MUACKKKKKS already. seriously OHMYGAWD LAH! but imagine how funny it is. HAHA. cos always the situation is such that there are ALOT of people there. oh gawd. but okay de! JUST THAT VERY FUNNY LAH cos his expression is always so calm but so paiseh HAHA.
and and and HAHA ALOT MORE FUNNY INCIDENTS LAH but im off to viwawa.com! LOL.
derrick that kookoo isnt online and i have one less person to CORK with!! ARGHHH.
love the heart that hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you..
i told of my glory at 10:45 pm
EARLY LEAVE TODAY LAH. NABI NABI!!!!! ZZZ.
i dont know what i want to talk about today,
but ANYWAY, sometimes it's the true friendships which make the world go round!! :)
derrick is a really nice person to CORK with yea :)
HAHA. especially when laughing at the funny duo hosts yesterday :) and also comparing which car is nicer. his modified mazda rx8 against my maserati GranTurismo WAHAHAH. oh well. i still prefer normal mazda rx8. but ANYWAY, sometimes really damn cork online. can talk from cars to smoking to ton-ing to I DONT KNOW WHAT LAH hah!
but SO NICE OF HIM LEH!
"Tuesday, March 25, 2008
So this post is for huifang LOLX...
So i told huifang the reason y i am in VE is coz of the following 3 points
1) Most obvious one and the most common one among all the VEs...and that is CAR...wanna come out with my dream cars ASAP so that I can drive my family out for breakfast lunch or dinner hahax...
2)Personal development...something that i can said that not all company can help in this area...In VE we learn alot of things...one of which is personal skills...even though i not in VE for veri long i can already c the difference in me...in terms of way i speak and handle things...most of the credit goes to 2 person who was there for me when i was at my lowest...
3)Is coz of the person i like...I hope that I will be able to achieve the above 2 points and be able to make a impression on the person i like...and alot more personal details LOLX..."
HAHAHA OKAY SO WE'RE FIGHTING FOR THE SAME GOAL LAH, TO IMPRESS THE SPECIAL SOMEONE :) HEEs. he wont read this. cos he doesnt know my blog. but yea, really hope he can hit BM soon so can fight car tgt yea. cos his upupupline going ns in 3 more months. scared later he not stable and give up =x but still, im sure he can de! cos his upline also zhai one! WAHAHA. then fight car tgt then hit car tgt then SOLID LAH! like mr steve and miss lois good good friends like that, fight tgt. cos after all, with a pacer, everything is better! so for now, im pacing against .... HAHA DONT WANNA SAY LEH. an MM but im sure with his constant encouragement i can de. cos he hit MM already he still hasnt sotpped fighting :) so how can i lose out to him? x)
seek to impress, strive for success.
i told of my glory at 10:29 am
Monday, 24 March 2008
chapter 38:
will you be the one walking down that lonely lane with me?
cos sometimes i feel so alone,
and then you'll coincidentally appear in front of me.
sometimes i wanna hide,
but i know i dont have to.
cos today we realised,
we've met.
long before i joined VE.
the situation remains a secret,
the location and time only known to us both.
somehow i thought i was the only one who thought this way,
until you were daring enough to bring it up.
seriously,
what a coincidence.
is this really what they call fate?
that you should cross my path again,
and stop here?
for a moment?
or for long?
and on a random note,
i miss korkor alot :(
i miss his laughter,
miss his crap,
miss his naggings,
miss his voice!!
OH MAN!! T.T
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today was.. a total.... screw up. im so gonna scold all the vulgarities i know seh. the pp scheduled for 7.30pm was changed to 8pm, then 8.30pm, then 9pm and the recruit came at 9.10pm. SOLIIIIID! my plan was to leave by 8pm. in the end i attended the WHOLE of the slideshow and only did the pp after that. NABI NABI!!
but slideshow was fun. the only plus side of everything. sat with derrick and other taurus people and we were laughing like crazy over mr steve and mr yanlong cos they were the hosts. HAHA. really damn funny. mr YL was asking mr S not to say he old cos for once he'll say his mouth not big. in the end mr S said mr YL very sexy and have a small tummy and BLAH BLAH LOL and mr YL said mr S has a small sexy mouth. please luh when the two of them be hosts REALLY DAMN FUNNY ONE :) then mr jeremy goh gave a speech, mr alex talked uhhh, improptu things? really cork cos he was like "no topic leh" on stage. HAHA. then people were popping random questions. and mr alex's birthday is in 2 days time so the agents from his BGM group prepared a cake for him :) sweet~
IDOL IS THE LOVE LAH :)
ehhs, not THAT kind of love luh!! HAHA..
and while im still waiting for derrick's post on WHY WE JOIN VE, i shall once again reflect on WHY I JOIN and REMAIN IN VE :)
1. personal development *****
2. friendships ****
3. money **
4. prospect *****
personal development-wise, i feel i've gained confidence in speaking to a person i do not know off. that day, upline asked me whether im confident of my recruitment phone techniques. i told him YES :) cos i know i have learnt this from miss lois, much enough to be able to convince the people to come down, or at least consider coming down. it always matters to take things slowly and speak clearly. be clear on pronounciation and do not show fear through my tone :) i've also gained much knowledge on our health, body, and how various medical treatments work. definitely i feel i've learnt alot and now i take calls in a different tone :) i also know really how to tee-up a manager though at times i still lose myself. HAHA.
friendships. those friends i've found in VE itself are really really great :) FRIENDS. im not talking about others. those fellow MEs, those SEs and those SAs from MAMMOTH and TAURUS. they really make my day each time :) remembering 4 months ago back when i was a NEWBIRD, upline and mr mengwee really took great care of me. WAHAHA. but now i stand alone as i fight on. WHEEE :) and not forgetting those kookoo managers for eg. mr ZL who always wants me to greet him HAHA. okay luh not say want me to greet him but when i greeted mr jiuyuan and didnt greet him he cleared his throat. FUNNY! HAHA. but uhh, those other managers who always "HOW MUCH MORE TO MM??!" really :) they motivate me. haha. AND NOT FORGETTING THOSE STUPID GAYSHITS. today i caught mr jinghui touching mr jeremy (the MM not the car achiever) when he walked past. OMGWTF please! and jinghui insists it's because mr J touched him first. HAHA. fck. mr J like damn gay please T.T
money, when i first joined, i already decided this is for personal development. money aside please. at least for now.
prospect.
MARKETING MANAGER,
BUSINESS MANAGER,
CAR ACHIEVER,
BUSINESS GROUP MANAGER.
by april, or even this month (cos upline's fighting for car) i will hit MM.
I WILL HIT MM.
cos im so proud of you i wanna make you feel proud of me too..
love the heart the hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you.
i told of my glory at 11:39 pm
Sunday, 23 March 2008
chapter 37:
nothing much to say,
we just understand each other.
HAHA :)
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
yesterday went to meet the love at around 1am HAHA. the love came in a familiar-looking bmw OH WELL. only to realise there was someone else there. HAHA. oh well. kind of unexpected but ahhh whatever LOL.
had fun, :)
had fun, :)
had fun.. :)
had 2 hours of sleep. damn shagged this morning please. ha. slept on the cab home also. reached home at 10am and slept till 11am before waking up for tuition. oh shit lah can. rush rush rush still 5 minutes late for tuition HAHA. had too much fun and alcohol. BLEH! and what miss chelsy says is quite true leh. when drink alot alcohol, empty a cal ion plus pill into my mouth and drink it down with water. WAH immediate reaction please!! but yesterday night was omg really. haha. but really, the cruise up to the stupid ulu ulu place of dempsey road at holland road there cos the love wanted to go check out this particular restaurant. but DAMN FUNNY cos we got lost in the darkness and the hills/slopes whatever you call it HA. and at 2am there were MANY cars there ALL LOST also. haha. turning here turning there and still not finding the way out. LOL. there were no streetlamps! DAMN. saw this restaurant called Culina with a ben&jerrys in it HAHA. the love found what he was looking for, Fabrica. their slogan is Wine, Food, Mood. sounds good eh :) gonna go there someday WAHAHA. and stupid love tried to race a ugly white lumbo HAHA. then there was also this stupid toyota that VROOOOM~ HAHA the owner "zeng" the car till damn nice sound please ha. basically the road was filled with cars chiong-ing one another one. but the road was pretty empty :)
so 2 hours of mad rush, followed by the 2 hours of peaceful fun and 2 hours of unrestful sleep, the "home" REALLY had the feeling of home. omg haha. contrast please. but really had fun. oh man. this cant continue! IM A JC STUDENT LAH NEED TO STUDY. but somehow the love has such a great impact on me :) YAYYY.
and oh yah, the love is being a pain is the ASS by nagging on about my studies when the love is the one misleading me! BLEEEEEEEEE!!
SO TODAY!! I STAYED HOME AND DID MY TUTORIALS HAHA. I FEEL SO PROUD OF MYSELF PLEASE!!
TMR GONNA CHIONG SCHOOOOOOOL!! :))) *crazy.
love the heart the hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you.
i told of my glory at 10:07 pm
a more conservative dream, a more realistic goal.
1300cc engine,
max speed 232km/h,
the mazda rx8 :)))
OFF TO NIGHTLIFE WITH MY DARLING TODAY x)
i told of my glory at 12:06 am
Saturday, 22 March 2008
chapter 36:
"hey boy, youre hot."
"turn me on yea turn me on~"
*crazy laughters.
it's that particular top which accentuates what it ought to. hell yea.
sometimes i feel so lost
so silly
cos i lose myself in you x)
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today i felt the disappointment again. when really, in the past 5 months i've seen those who i really could have entrusted my duties to, lose themselves in peer pressure and of cos parental objections. i cant say i wont look at those who do not contribute PVs to me. but still, i brought them around when they first joined. i saw them go through rejections, failed appointments etc etc. then finally, they give up, because of really, really, really stupid reasons. it's really part and parcel of being in this trade i guess. seeing those friends leave, seeing a new-found friend lose focus and then fall out of this trade. somehow i still feel the disappointment..
and today again i experienced the same situation as 4 months ago when i was still back then a newly-born bird without wings, dependent on my guardian angel. today, same situation, same scenario. stuck in the rain, pressed for time, having to protect my instrument. i know i would never depend on you ever again. if im in that same scenario and i didnt know what to do, i know you'll not be the one i approach.. cos im really very tired of having to endure having to go through the arduous process of guessing your mood each day. when is the day that you'll sit down and talk about plannings for me, when is the day you'll bother yourself with my existence. i've heard too much from everyone. today i can tell you for sure, downline had been right in the past. she said i cared too much about how you think, cared too much about how others see you, tried so hard to do everything i could. but today i can say, im an individual. upline, i learn from you. i duplicate you in some ways. but i know i cant make it to the standard you ask of. i know you will read this. i wont go against you, neither will i become a rebellious downline. but people around me have been telling me too much. do you know you've been seen as an arrogant and incapable biz manager? im not agreeing with them. cos if i agree with them, tmr you wont see me anymore. it's really tiring when i have to go through the process of hearing people asking me "why your upline like that one?", "eh tell longjun *blah blah*", "i thought he fighting car? why this pattern one?". i tried my best to explain. i really did. but people still dont care. people are asking me, why am i still here.
im sorry upline.
it's been a really tough period of time for the past month. i know it's been hard on you helping me manage my organisation, managing your own organisation. but it's been tiring for me to endure others' accusations at my own upline. youre the one who brought me into this trade, youre the one who taught me evrything right from the start, saw me cry and saw me laugh, by rights youre the one who should know everything about me. but do you know, things are changing? if you havent noticed, more and more people are protecting me against you. i can never figure out why, but i somehow dont feel neglected that way. take for example today, i was using my handphone to do calling at the table outside taurus' cubicle. mr steve came out, and frowned. then mr nick frowned from inside the cubicle also. mr mengwee came, asked me why im here doing calling. mr jimmy came, asked me why im here doing calling. then i dont know what they did and somehow i ended up back in falcon's cubicle doing calling. i dont know what's going on at times..
on the other hand, fighting has become a slight bit tiring lately. more and more people are leaving me and i feel like im fighting alone. in falcon, there are not much fulltime MEs fighting for MM. only me. so oh well, lucky there's always nic and swee siang there. nic always there for a listening ear and swee siang always there to lend a helping hand :))) i really feel blessed to have friends like them who never fail to brighten up my day. then there's also derrick who never fails to make me smile with his goofy smile. and each time i see him, im reminded of a common goal. MAZDA RX8 AND NISSAN FAIRLADY :))) then i'll rmbr the nice nice maserati pasted at his team's cubicle. ahh. then those managers who never fail to push me on, regardless of through encouragements or successfl reverse psychology.
I'LL FIGHT ON. I'LL PRESEVERE. I'LL NOT GIVE UP. cos we're all fighting for our dreams!!
UPLINE WILL FIGHT ON FOR HIS CAR!!
MR J WILL FIGHT ON FOR HIS CAR!!
ALL THE WAY!! and
MEs WILL FIGHT ON FOR THEIR BLAZERS!!
it's just a matter of time.. :)))
love the heart the hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you
i told of my glory at 10:35 pm
chapter 35:
in the day,
up the wall,
yea yea.
feel the heat,
yea yea.
YO! x)
running in the darkness,
guided by none else but your hand,
i can see in the dark.
run on,
run on,
not letting go.
it's our road,
our future,
we're just doing a test run on it :)
at least we've got some brains today.
in jeans and tshirt instead of you know,
even more improper wear.
run there,
and back.
i've had fun,
as much as you did.
love.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
learnt magnetic pp from upline today. seh. his way of explaination is so much different from what i know. haha. improve my own magnetic pp lah!! seriously my magnetic pp not convincing seh.. T.T haha!! but anywayyyy, i dont know why upline was shocked that i know derrick luh o.O hah. please im very very friendly YAYYYY :))) thats why i know people from taurus. LOL.
and today was such a motivated day for me. cos derrick asked me to go see the picture of his dream car, the modified rx8, in taurus' cubicle. cos we were talking about it online yesterday night. lol. so i went there and saw MANY pictures there. omg. mazda, bmw, maserati, MOTIVATIONAL SEH! mr steve, mr nick, miss corinne, derrick, everyone's dream car there. so itchy hand me went online to look at pictures of cars. AGAIN!! T.T when oh when will i become a car achiever!!
and omg i finally know!!
MY DREAM CAR!!
4.7litre V8 unit,
4691cc engine,
0-100 km/h in 4.9s,
max speed 295 km/h,
the Maserati GranTurismo S :)))
thats my love, my dream!!
but abit expensive seh. HAHA! NEVER MIND LAH WORK HARD CAN ONE!! x)
EXCELLENCE WITH PASSION!! *aggressive!! I LOVE!!
love the heart the hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you
i told of my glory at 12:19 am
Friday, 21 March 2008
it just took me 34 chapters to realise,
music really IS my life.
the previous,
the one before the previous,
WE ALL
i seem to fancy guys who sing. :)))
somehow there's this particular type of charisma,
which draws me to them.
or isit draws them to me? ARGH.
my english is
HEY I PASSED MY LANGUAGES WITH FLYING COLOURS DURING MY PROMOS OKAY.. even though i failed everything else. LOL!
but hey,
i think music is a very important element in my life.
plays a great role in me,
plays a great role in moulding me,
plays a great role in comforting me,
plays the greatest role in loving me :)))
i told of my glory at 12:01 am
Thursday, 20 March 2008
chapter 34:
you know,
a stretch of road,
running in the dark is different from running in the day.
it doesnt matter who im running with.
it's the feeling that counts.
back then, it was him.
but today in the bright daylight,
nothing at all.
i didnt need to be guided either.
it was just sweat.
and laughter at our silliness.
stupid squid.
i just felt like relieving stress. and he ran with me.
stupid boy.. T.T
maybe tmr night..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today was a screwed up day. ha. nic is a nice friend to talk to :))) and oh yea, damn funny. listened to longjun whack claudia up down upside down. oh wells. i really tried hard to control my laughter. damn jialat luh she. anyway, nowadays i find tee up really fun. haha. walk walk walk see those managers/car achievers/bgms i know and they know me de i say HAO! and they will hao back or give some funny replies hahah! only ONE PARTICULAR stupid car achiever act seh, always i greet him he will NEVER look at me and reply one. always looking somewhere else. BO XIM OKAY! others like mr ivan LIM, mr steve, mr eric, miss zhen li, mr charles, mr shunjie, miss jasmine etc etc all very nice de lo. will smile back and say hao or hi or YO! HAHAA. x) just now greeted mr S and he replied YO! quite loudly and some mako person turned and stared at him LOL. but he was happily smiling away. always that SNEER. o.O
and and and, i found this on some stupid horoscope page for my horoscope today:
"you must beware of infections of your genital organs: risks of sexually transmitted diseases will be in recrudescence." c'mon lets learn to LOL. HAHAHA.
love the heart the hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you
i told of my glory at 9:27 pm
Wednesday, 19 March 2008
chapter 33:
you know,
laughters,
tears,
happiness..
the past month.. :)))
that simple.
thank you..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today was a VERY eventful day. ha. so many things happened. but firstly THANKS MR ZHILIANGGGGG :)))))))))) and that friend. lol. cos he's the reason why i could reach office very much dry despite the heavy rain x)
alright so today when i was trying to go to office it was raining DAMN heavily. met mr gerald on the bus but he had umbrella! ZZZ. so i was thinking suan le just chiong. but suddenly appeared MR ZHILIANG and his friend!! :))) YAY. and they had umbrella! LOL. zhiliang had this BIG umbrella and his friend had this smaller umbrella. so zhiliang signalled to me with his umbrella and i smiled a wide smile back so his friend passed me his smaller umbrella. then he and his friend shared his BIG umbrella. LOL. BUT HE GOT WET BECAUSE OF THAT :((( *feels guilty. cos he and his friend different height. lol. in the end his left side like all wet luh.. but damn lucky to meet him there luh! cos before that i was at home and i saw him online, thinking he wasnt going to office today le. in the end so coincidentally meet him there! :)))
AND AND AND, SO UNGLAM TODAY!! OMGGGGG. all thanks to nic lah! STUPID NICHOLASSSS. snatch my magnetic pillow pad from me. in the end i was like almost fighting with him already and mr S walked past and we were blocking his way. ARGHS shit. then he was like o.O. then stupid nic still want to sabo me. pull pull pull then walk till taurus cubicle there and he stood behind him and said MR S HAO! WALAO EH. he turned around and saw me still trying to pull the pillow pad away form nic. STUPIDDDD!! in the end we went staircase talk. and guess what, the stupid staircase is damn hot. HA. and my voice was amplified! AND THE FUNNIEST THING WAS, BOON JIAN CAME RUSHING IN WHEN WE WERE TALKING! HAHAHAH. think he damn paiseh ha.
then we celebrated mr jinghui's birthday :))) NAGGY OLD MAN turned 18! haha. stupid mr mengwee and longjun say he's my nanny lah cos he kept nagging at me when i never make calls. LOL. and he damn funny. he walked into the cubicle when we didnt expect him to, he saw the cake being displayed there, and said "i never see anything i never see anything!" LOL. then we still ga jiao him. later on when we were singing birthday song we sang "happpy birthday to SWEE SIANG!!" LOL. randomness!! HAHA. wanted to make jinghui stunned lol! but no effect eh. then mr mengwee challenged him. mr mengwee moved the cake DAMNNNNN far away and make him blow the candles out that way. in the end he blew till like gonna die lah! LOL.
after that went for supper with mr mengwee, mr jinghui, miss lois, mr longjun, mr jimmy, NABI sia all the managers. lol. saw mr S smoking when we were leaving. T.T and the 6 of us squeezed into mr jimmy's car AHHA damn funny situation. then when we were waiting for our food mr mengwee, mr jimmy and mr jinghui were happily talking on how i can win mr S's heart. PLEASE LAH OMG CAN. their plans all damn far-fetched one. haha. but oh well! it's a whole load of laughs :))) and haha, oh well. oh well! :)))
love the heart the hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you
someday i know my dreams will come true, if i never give up.. i'll fight on..
i told of my glory at 11:58 pm
Tuesday, 18 March 2008
DO YOU KNOW IM DAMN HELL OF A EXCITED? TMR IS GONNA BE THE FIRST MONTH AND I DONT HAVE TIME TO EVEN GO TO OFFICE. FARKKK. but i know somehow i'll get there beside you :)))
chapter 32:
things are getting out of hand..
and you found me
at my secret hiding place..
i see you in different context,
in one day..
different entity,
in one day..
the same person, multi-roles.
i have to change
my tone, my words, my smile,
and how i look at you..
just like putting on a different dress each time,
challenging,
dangerous..
i am too,
embarking on a changing quest..
sometimes your maturity takes me aback,
when you know im just tired..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
mr zhiliang was being funny the 2 times i met him in the lift.
1st time-
the lift door opened and i was kind of anxious to get downstairs quickly, so i just walked in like that when someone was just walking out. then the doors closed and ZL was like "so gan jiong, what if that was mr martin or who?! TSK TSK TSK." and i said "say mr martin hao lo."
2nd time-
i saw mr jiuyuan and him in the lift. so i greeted mr jiuyuan. and ZL cleared his throat loudly. so facing the mirror and making his hair, mr jiuyuan scolded him "KNS ONE LAH YOU!" hahaha!! so i greeted mr ZL hao also. HAHA. and he said future miss huifang hao. HAHA. x) omg scaryyyy haha.
and i finally know what's that taurus guy's name! LOL. the super polite guy. haha. and yea, got to know hobby's downline and mr yanlong's downline ha. getting to know more and more people nowadays!! xDDD YAY.
today just past like that and guess what, i did maths homework there. LOL.
anyway, at this rate, i'll never be sent out on appointments, cos i dont even have the chance to attach to my own upline's appointment.. forget it.. i'll just learn everything myself.. myself.. since upline dont care, upupupline and upupupupline not there.. never mind.. with upupline can le.. call call call.. go on.. alone..
i told of my glory at 10:25 pm
Monday, 17 March 2008
really i find that sometimes i wanna be left alone..
that night,
those hugs,
that love,
i felt like i've fought a battle
for the past week..
no conquerers,
but we have gone a level higher,
in understanding each other,
in caring for each other,
in laughing at each other.
that would be the best result,
for any battle fought..
on 18th february 2008,
10.37pm,
i thought you were real.
until 19th february 2008,
12pm,
i found out it wasnt you..
love the heart the hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you
i told of my glory at 11:06 pm
chapter 31:
i've realised it's been ignorance on my part..
korkor never once neglected me..
i was the one who forgot him..
ever since...
cos he called me today and asked why i hadnt msged/called him since..
ahh,
i realised..
and it took me so long..
im sorry..
but you never told me the truth either..
i always wondered why we got along that well despite the differences..
so from the start it was all planned, that it wasnt to be you ultimately..
it took me 30 days to realise..
thanks uh.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today was first day back at college. i can say it was a great day. cos i felt like really, i could understand chem very well. for once. ha! tuition helps x)
evening slideshow was a blast. hadnt the least intention to go for it until mr joseph said mr S and mr yanlong were the hosts. ha. the 2 dynamic duo. definitely worth the effort to go see. and as usual, the 2 of them were uhhh, suan-ing one another luh. mr S suan-ing mr yanlong fat and mr yanlong suan-ing him worthless. ha. then watch the slideshow. wah, mr zhiliang's name was 3rd for top manager. lol. then no our team name leh. ha. sad. but SHA was top associate :))) HEE. then had the HAT cert presentation and mr jimmy went up to speak x) then i left after that cos really damn damn damn tired. *yawns.
i think im really a troublesome downline.
dont ask me why. the reason remains clear.
and ahhh, i didnt greet the CA who CS-ed me yesterday. lol. then his yan shen was like o.O HAHA. cos no choice lah so many people in the lift please!! OKAY THAT WAS TOTALLY RANDOM.w
i told of my glory at 10:13 pm
Sunday, 16 March 2008
chapter 30:
i only have this to say,
that i have no regrets.. :)))
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today did a recruitment for MYSELF. love that feeling. and she joined :) YAY. really love that sense of achievement. and i actually convinced her to say it's actually worthwhile and affordable for the cal*. YAY! then today ahhh, met 3 ah lian recruits. f*ck. they leave also good lah. but one of them shoot huiqi shoot until SUPER jialat. =x then i went over to complain to miss lois and she still told us to go ahead with the PP. then in the end 2 friends went away and the last also left saying her friend smth happen. ZZZ. go lah stupid cheena shitsxz. in the end we went over to complain to miss lois. then AHHH, mr steve was there. omgomgomg. triple omg please. then we were complaining like he was transparent like that HAHA. then miss lois suddenly say CS us. omg lah! then mr steve spoke to us about hitting MM. haha.
"last time when i was an ME, i do everything myself one! no manager ma, upline not around, business plan ownself do! now the ME ah, i see like tofu like that one. *act pokes. then nuah already!"
OMG LAH. haha. but then he also said must be rational and know what i want lo. he asked both of us our goals. downline had her goal. i didnt. alamak, miss lois exposed me, say i wanna marry a rich guy. LOL. damn. then he say what can intro to me. ZZZ. so yea, he said that everyday when tying shoelace he will look up and see the picture of his desired car. HAHA. oh well.
this has definitely gotten me motivated and im starting to think of what i want in ve, in life, and is not as simple as marrying a rich guy.
i will know..w
i told of my glory at 11:10 pm
chapter 29:
getting more and more daring.
f*cker.. o.O
LOL..
can playful and pervert go together?
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today went to office and OMG-lah falcon had NO activities. WOW. splendid. so we were doing some calling here and there the whole day. anywaysss, we went to do survey later on. ha.
so mr mengwee, miss lois, longjun, huiqi and i went to orchard to do surveys and OH-WELL, we didnt have spectecular results. HA. longjun did more than 10. the rest of us just, less than 10. LOL. over a span of uhhh, 2 hours plus. OMG-HAHA. oh well. at least we have some results HA.
then we went to eat kfc at 11pm. LOL. got shot. they kept asking why i like mr S. ARGH. *blush. PAISEH ALREADY LALALAH! x) and poor downline got shot worse. haha. made mr N seem like uhhh, so not worth a cent. HAHA. and today then i knew that wah, previously there were 2 girls who fancied mr S worrrr. and both not bad de... =x
OKAY LAH. =x
anything. :(((
so after that left with mr mengwee, miss lois and i. wanted to watch movie but the next movie was 1 hour later. nothing to do so we went our seperate ways. OH WELL.
so now im like, at this friend's house, cos i dont think i'll be going home tonight :))) *YAYYYY. but wah damn comfortable now cos i just finished bathing. HA. i left the house yesterday morning with just my laptop and wallet and such. never bring extra clothes! but lucky still bathe le change to a big big tshirt. LOL.
tmr morn, go home, bathe again, go tuition!! T.T
OFF TO HAVE FUN NOW x)))
i told of my glory at 1:48 am
Saturday, 15 March 2008
i always say i'll be aggressive (since a few days ago when miss lois told me mr S's very aggressive).
really, mr S's confidence level i can say is definitely high. very high indeed. the way he hosts, the way he speaks, the way he does everything. what about me? im still afraid of this, afraid of that. really, my confidence level of myself is..
i feel like im unable to meet the expectations of those around me.
i feel im not a good downline.
i feel im not a good upline.
i feel im not a good girlfriend.
i feel im not a good leader.
i feel im not a good presenter at times.
i feel scared when they say im the key leader in upline's organisation..
14 march, a recruit told me my presentation wasnt convincing. i just talked abit more and walked away, without doing the usual assurance i always do when i do not get a 10/10 rating. i get anxious and just an overwhelming feeling of defeat when someone says something like that. just want to stomp off and go ahead with doing my own things. cos after all, he's not gonna be my downline or what.
really, i hope upline reads this. cos sometimes i find that even with the closest people i cant say out such stuff.
what can make my confidence level higher?
id say the answer's practice. but i've practiced and practiced, and still not seen results. you can say im impatient. cos i know for results, it's gonna take time. but i havent much time left. i need to get back to my studies. i always say i want to get back to my studies. but here i am still commiting at ve. why? why? for the career? i doubt it. for him? not really. i dont know! like what downline said, i still havent found my PMF (primary motivational factor). i find i can never settle on a PMF itself. want to be a presenter? a manager? an inactive member? WHATEVER.
so what if i were to die tmr?
will i regret?
what will i regret?
a million things i have never said to those i care and love.
my parents whom i never told them how much i actually appreciate them,
my nyjc friends whom i never told how much you all brighten up my day with every small actions you all do,
my 0820 friends whom i just got to know but already we go crazy tgt like there's no tmr,
my fellow FALCONs who are always there no matter for a CS, for a gossip, for a game or a ANYTHING,
my fellow other MEs, and some SEs i know from mammoth, taurus- hobby, SS, nic, meijuan, etc etc, who never fail to brighten up my days in ve with a "left how much? fight okay!"
my lovely nyco crazy people who always make me feel at home especially weijian who never fails to bitch around with me,
my zhss 4e6 o6, zhco, 2e3 o4 people who once played a major role in moulding me for who i am in jc today,
and definitely my motivations..
if only tmr i could go up to you and tell you everything,
im sure everything would be easier for me.
an easier life in ve,
an easier life,
maybe a rise in confidence level,
or contrasting a dip if i become negative.
i told of my glory at 1:15 am
chapter 28:
it pains me,
it's tearing me apart.
but i cannot bring myself
to say those words i want to,
those ways i want to,
those time we could have if i did.
hold you in my arms,
i just want to hold you in my arms..
do you know?
but i am afraid,
you will fade away,
just like the beautiful auroras in the northern skies..
cos soon to be,
youll leave me,
too late for regrets,
yet presently,
i dont dare.
i still love you,
i really do.
and it's not puppy love,
cos it's really such a once-in-my-18-years feeling.
but yet,
feeling so hopeless.
cos of the need to impress..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
ZZZ i just came home from office at 12.30am. YAWNS. was having night training in office. miss lois, upline, mr jimmy and my downline. at the same time, taurus was having night training too. OH WELL. and miss lois was trying to be teacher. HAHA. she insisted on writing on the board luh! then heard more about what upline learnt from miss jessie's CS and wow, miss jessie my idol lah! x) next time i want a CS with her also. LALALA. oh well.
AND AND AND, OMG LAH upline knows about.. oh well, HIM. and wth he also knows about downline's HIM. WAH SOLID. and he refuses to tell me how the kookoo he managed to find out.
rushed back to office just now in the evening cos huiqi asked me to. and YOU KNOW WHAT, miss lois THANKS ALOT UH, cos i went for the welcome forum, and listened to mr dewey speak. then after that re-intro the host mr S. AND ALL MY FELLOW FALCONS THERE WERE LIKE "EHHH HUIFANG!!" especially miss lois who said "whoa you rush back cos of him right! hahaha!" OMG LAHHHHH =x mr jiuyuan and mr zhiliang were there please! URGHHH. damn paiseh please!! BLEHHHHH!! =x nehhhhs, will never forget you all make me paiseh HA. mr jimmy, mr longjun, miss lois, and downline! GRRRRRRRRRR!!!
and and and, IM DAMN TIRED LAH NABI!
tmr morning! GOGOGO!! :)))
AGGRESSIVE!
SOLID! x)
i told of my glory at 12:46 am
Thursday, 13 March 2008
chapter 27:
stupidity, spasticity.
got bluffed by a
some particular people are reading my blog. im gonna stop blogging about the squid already. the evil squid. oh well, i feel so... intruded T.T HAHA.
cos no one's supposed to know about you..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
looking back,
aggressive may not mean good all the time.
sometimes i really hate your aggressiveness.
those stupid things you do which make my
give me a scare at times,
and always, oh well, make me feel so.. unsettled for the whole day.
but it's okay,
cos miss lois says your aggressiveness led you to what you are today.
so from today onwards,
HUIFANG shall take the aggressive approach towards everything.
not convinced? i'll talk till youre convinced.
not happy? whack you till you are.
FARK.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
it pains me,
it hurts.
but you are oblivious to this eternal pain i am in.
when will the time come,
when i could openly express my soul,
bare it for you to see.
but i am afraid,
that we may lose each other in the crowd someday,
and i cant find my way back to you..
like i lost someone
such a long time ago
but still bathed in blood..
always,
i want to just find a spot,
where i could just talk to someone.
about anything,
and everything.
under that starry nights,
the blazing skies,
the dim twilight of the land.
i think and i wish,
i cry and i say.
but this lament may go unheard..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today had a talk with upline :) he really spoke out my exact feelings. cos always im busy with recruitments which are not mine, and will never be my downlines. those umpteen presentations i've done for the past 3 weeks, those uncountable debriefs, those days of basic training. im busy with everything, learning everything, but i dont even have time for myself. maybe upline put it in a really crude way as in them "making use" of me. i wouldnt put it across of "making use", and true enough it's a chance for me to brush up on my water pp skills. but if you all havent noticed, i personally feel my pp is damn 'WOOHOO' convincing already. dont you all notice the recent recruits have the product confidence? especially mohammed (dont know how to spell lah) who insisted on giving me a standing ovation and a 10/10 rating yesterday. i cant say im ABSOLUTELY ready for appointments, but somehow, can you all just do me this small favour of letting me have some time of my own? today i chiong-ed 4 pps in a day and none belonged to me or upline. upline feels that i havent been doing enough for myself, and for him. cos after all, he's fighting for his car too.
UPLINE AH UPLINE, i'll take ur advice, and next time anyone asks for my help, i'll say "ask my BM leh" :))) cos sometimes i really feel
oh well, cos i WANT to earn presenter fee. but i need to set up my own organisation first. till my organisation damn zhai then i go ahead with doing my own stuff. I DONT WANT TO BE STUCK AT ME FOREVERRRR!!!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
yesterday night when i went with miss lois to withdraw money, we talked. i told her about this, that, everything. upline, work, people, falcon, relationship and so on.
ve is really such a people job and it really matters that we accept the faults of people, and look at their good points.
cos along the way, we meet new people, we meet new challenges. what matters most is the trust is our upline and upupline and so on, cos ultimately, they will never be wrong. it really matters to trust, believe, follow..
cos everyone is learning together. when im learning how to do pp, youre learning how to do bp. when im perfecting my pp, youre learning how to manage us. so the cycle goes on. as we climb higher, we learn more things. miss jessie shared during a CS that each position doesnt mean just money. it's really the learning process. longjun b roled for that CS with ben and he told me about what she said- at the SA to ME standard, we're learning how to do PP and such. when at MM, we learn how to manage our organisation. when at BM, we learn how to manage the whole team. when at BGM, we learn how to manage VE.
it really makes a difference if we learn together and give chances.
if i never gave chances,
i would have given up in january.
if i never gave chances,
i wouldnt allow other agents to sit in to my pp and listen to learn.
if i never gave chances,
my wu zi tian shu would be read by no one else but me.
if i never gave chances,
i wouldnt even fulfil trust, believe and follow.
if i never gave chances, i wouldnt be in VE. i swear.
when lawlaw talked about VE last year, i hadnt heard of them before. after he told me about how negative VE was, i got contacted by this guy called JIM 2 weeks later. i stupidly went down alone, saw venture era, and "f*cked up" already. but i listened. and i joined. though i know intially my reason for joining was not cos i i fancied VE alot or the business plan or the product. LOL. but that doesnt matter. it really matters if we give everything a chance and not reject it without finding out for ourselves.
i gave VE and myself a chance, and here i am today, a marketing executive fighting on.. :)))
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
attack every problem with enthusiasm, as if your survival depended on it..
i told of my glory at 11:56 pm
Wednesday, 12 March 2008
BACK FROM FALCON CHALET YAYYY :))) had fun had fun had fun, CS CS CS, BBQ BBQ BBQ, sleep gamble play!! WAHAHAHA.
day 1:
raining but we still went ahead with bbq. bbq food prepared by MEMEME! :))) prawns, fish and chicken wings. OWW 2 fingers cut o.O then BGMs and a few BMs came at night. mr charles, mr eric, mr dewey, mr shunjie, mr adrian and mr joseph x) mr alex, mr cal and mr steven didnt come leh. aww. but they say the fish is nice nice nice!! YAYYYY. *flies up to the sky. then we played this game of 4 cards blah blah, haha. play 50cent per round.
day 2:
went back office. ha. everyone was pretty shocked to see falcon people there. LOL. oh well. nothing much did cos REALLY NO MOOD LAH. bbq-ed again, otah and satay and chicken wing. AIYAH. damn horrible cos no sauce left and only edible thingy in my opinion was otah LOL. then played truth or dare and i got SABO-ed. thanks ah miss lois =x now they know who's the guy in VE That i fancy. *ahems.. oh well. at night, we played pepsi cola. EH MISS LOIS IDEA SIA. oh well. she's damn high when playing that lah! pro and violent shitsxz. LOL. then after that had CS with downline and downdownline at shelter outside chalet. CS each other sia. okay lah downdownline was just like an ornament please. not much contribution. downline made me think of what i want out of VE. and how she said that why "office relationships wont last". definitely i felt insecure at some point in time, but no choice, life's like this. prioritise!
day 3:
went to wild wild wet with huiqi though it was raining. HA. please i think we're damn kookoo. but anyway, quite fun luh! but i would have fancied escape more cos i havent been to escape for LONG LONG LONG LONG time. oh well.
in the end, rush here rush there, ended up at office at 4.20pm =x zzz. did what i ought to, and omg, finally one person gave me a 10/10 rating for water cos he's sOOOOOOOOOO impressed. product confidence 100%! SOLID!! x) damn happy wahaha. and i finally decided to major in water presentation le. then maybe take up magnetic too. cos downline's gonna major in supplements. haha.
so mr jimmy sent us home, LALA. :)))
i really really love BMW sia.
and he says he's gonna come up with a 3 series or 7 series once he's ready to. :)))
chapter 24, 25, 26:
consumed by passion; sucked dry of my love.
in that moment of passion, our fates are sealed.
there's no more turning back, only a request for more time..
like what you always sing,
再给我两分钟
让我把记忆结成冰
别融化了眼泪
你妆都花了要我怎么记得
记得你叫我忘了吧
记得你叫我忘了吧
你说你会哭
不是因为在乎..
i'll still continue listening to you..
today i finally i collected back what's mine.
and
those photos of us stay on,
those videos of you go on,
the recordings of your teachings play on.
we always needed this day, but it never happened, until today, when we almost had no time left.
today has really been a great day for me.
it's not our ending,
it's our beginning.. :)))
as long as im still here, i'll still get on with life doing what i ought to, at the same time missing you.
i just hope you wont have a tough time..
still, time flies, and i hope really, that when we meet again we still feel this strongly. somehow i saw a side of you today that i never knew existed. the feeling of "the final chance" really forces us to cherish those moments. somehow i finally experienced, as i knew youre really as aggressive as everyone knows you as.
no regrets; i'll be waiting..
i told of my glory at 11:16 pm
Monday, 10 March 2008
and a recognition really brightens up my day.
off to office for a 1pm pp,
to huiqi's place for bbq food preparation,
to CHALET!
RED FALCON!!! :)))
ahhh, still awaiting guest list confirmation. lala. miss lois says she's inviting the SHA car achievers and not HOR T.T sad. HAHA. x)
I know I'm tired. And I know that you are all tired. But But But... if we rally together with one another, friends encouraging one another, teachers encouraging students, students encouraging teachers, the journey will get easier. Sometimes, we need to have someone to tell you this," I believe in you." Just this simple sentence is enough to bring us, high up to space, in great ectasy.
i told of my glory at 10:54 am
Sunday, 9 March 2008
it isnt me..
you gotta stop.
the
the tears just keep going..
i told of my glory at 11:11 pm
"再给我两分钟.."
chapter 23:
再给我两分钟
让我把记忆结成冰
别融化了眼泪
你妆都花了要我怎么记得
记得你叫我忘了吧
记得你叫我忘了吧
你说你会哭
不是因为在乎..
it's so difficult to avoid the faults when youre publicly displaying them,
creating displeasure in others' eyes..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today i almost banged into mr S at the showroom of level 1. embarrassing yes, but how did you appear behind me when moments ago i had just walked past you at the other side of the table? cos i was there to kind of spy on mr J's biz plan, but when i turned around i ALMOST banged into you. and please, im short so i was headed right for his.. chest T.T yan ru was there and she gave me that damn skeptical expression luh please. and then she kind of stared at him. OH FINE. and mr chris gave me a weird expression. oh and mr chris dont look his age. HAHA. o.O thats not all. later on, i was at the lift lobby of b1. somehow and somehow he was there also. and he was uhhh, kind of humming a tune, then he sang in the lift. UHH. and after that i was doing a b role at level 3. only him and his 2 people, and me and my 2 people were there. voice was amplified at level 3 cos of the area and felt damn stressed cos he and his and downline were looking over.
today was a mess somehow. managed to get 2 recruits though. walao. i spend less than 2 hours and i get 2 recruits. yesterday spent 4 over hours only 1 recruit. NB.
for the whole day i was damn hell of a unsettled. pacing around, tapping my fingers, take a deep breath, still unsettled..
i finally saw the importance of you to me.
and i thought i was supposed to be the one stalking you?
today was supposed to be the last, yet there's still tmr. tmr might be the last, cos i dont know about wednesday..
i told of my glory at 9:46 pm
Saturday, 8 March 2008
chapter 21:
you havent noticed im dying?
ok never mind, not dying.
crumbling.
i feel like sometimes im really gonna black out.
and you..
continue worrying about impending problems.
cant you just take a look at current problems first?
maybe time will tell how i feel for you.
maybe i really havent decided..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
upline's nice to buy us each a motivational poster from genting. but mr mengwee also gave each of us a poster. AWW. they really think of us still, when they go to genting. cos mr mengwee said he looked at the poster and immediately knew that was for me. LOL. oh well. the poster longjun gave is pasted at the cubicle-
"a stream always succeeds in forging its own way to the ocean, overcoming all obstacles in its path. with vision and perseverence, so too can we achieve out desired success"
the poster our beloved mr mengwee gave me is in my locker now, cos i think it's damn cool. ha. something about listen VS hear. oh well. he must be hinting that i've not been listening. HA.
but still, today was a total FISH-ed up day. i called a whole damned list and either those people are from JC or from poly and not interested. faggots. whole damned day and only one recruit tmr. the rest awaiting confirmation. lala. think i was really serious today. went away form cubicle and calling corner, use handphone call recruits. buay tahan already. i NEED a jem. i need one.. i cannot lose out to downline, SO PAISEH TO LOSE OUT TO DOWNLINE PLEASE! okay ego me. HA. but thats how i push myself leh.
and anyway, i think i really start to know more people in VE. wahaha. and mr zhiliang was shocked when i said "mr zhiliang hao!" today. HA. his expression was !!!!! totally amusing HA. but hey boy, thats tee up! :)))
AND AND AND! i thought VE was supposed to make me eat less meals cos of improper lunch and dinner times. but NO! today i had 3 meals with VE! OMG. one with li onn at 12pm, one with miss lois, mr longjun, mr shunjie, miss zhiying, huiqi and li onn at 3pm and one more at 10pm HAHA. omg. VE gonna make me round round round. HAHA!
oh yea i really felt the lethargy crawling in me today. head was giddy, whole body aching. i thought it was still 7 plus when it was already 9.30pm. somehow i knew i was stretching my limits far too much. but still, they insist, break limitations. im not facing any current limitations but only my body. i havent had a good night's sleep for long. DAMN long. i havent had time for myself for long. DAMN long. i wanted to take a break tmr but i cant. mr J was really almost pleading with me to come do pp for his recruits tmr. but sorry mr J, much as i want to, it's time constraint, really. i cant rush down in half an hour.. and then there's my own recruit. upline not gonna be around tmr and miss lois will be busy with downdowndownline. so in conclusion, i still gotta go tmr.
and there's the distraction. the
i will fight on. cos that's what i want to do. but i need the strength to do so. i need to have the momentum. mr J will fight for his car while i fight for my MM. i cant find a pacer of same status as me. i need someone higher. so mr J shall be my pacer! YAY.
i told of my glory at 11:51 pm
i just came home, bleh.
today i remained in office even after the welcome forum, thinking all of them would come back to office. in the end, only upline came. but anyways, nic and swee siang came back also. ha. and nic was being damn BHB. "got miss me?" LOL. but aiyah, really missed them though they were only away for 3 days. cos so used to seeing them around EVERYDAY! but anyways, upline bought a poster for each of his downlines as a form of motivation.
anyway, had a CS with mr yan long today. ha. sad case- mr steve not free, mr joseph not around, mr charles not free, miss jasmine not free, miss jessie not free. SOLID AH! no CA available ha! but mr yan long's CS really power. he managed to actually get izal to say out his true feelings as to why he had no product confidence. mr yan long pro lah! and i remember a sentence-
"you dont have to be good to start. but you have to start before you become good."
thanks mr yan long!! :))) *though he wont see this. but YEA x)
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
im sorry for all ive done
to make you think the bad of me
sometimes i feel so alone
i need someone to turn to
and this person can affect me so greatly
so greatly i learn and become a habit
but what to do, you havent been by my side..
to you, you werent supposed to see what happened outside office at 11pm. you werent supposed to be even there. and just because you were there, i ran. i really ran. all the way to the mrt station. i almost cried, yes. but why is it that you can affect me so so so so freaking much?
oh that filial downline who stayed back all alone just to wait for the people to come back from genting. mr ivan has his 5 downlines to welcome him, nic and swee siang came back with miss zhiying, oh well. falcon's only left with me today. me oh poor me. oh man. me myself there also people coming to borrow stuff. ha. what's new. it's okay man, as long as i get the stuff back :))) *i think this ending's kinda no-link but yea.
tmr, sunday, monday, tuesday, wednesday. on thursday..
i told of my glory at 12:24 am
Friday, 7 March 2008
chapter 20:
you know,
maybe you should be more friendly even though we're not supposed to know each other THAT well.
but if you havent noticed, i greet many people.
it's called BASIC TEE UP.
i dont like the contrast between when there,
and when outside.
sucker.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
omg some female public relations officer of some blah blah company called me to inform me of a investors' gathering and is some major event, requsting for me to participate with my business partners. LOL.
and she was like "miss huifang" blah blah blah "miss huifang" blah blah blah.
that's called hear till sibeh song. LOL.
i told of my glory at 6:20 pm
Thursday, 6 March 2008
on a random note, i just did something totally humiliating and i dont know why i did that for. the other party involved must be laughing his ass off at my stupidity..
一点一滴的回忆
我突发奇想。
重感情是否是件好事。
也许是，因为它教会要珍惜身边的人。
但是，它也会造成人耽溺的个性。
不懂什么时候应该放下一切往前走。
要不，一直留在原点。。
当你走了老半天，回头一看，原来，
除了你之外，
剩下的人根本没有移动。
那应该会挺伤人的。
原来，走得那么辛苦，原本，唯一的动力，
唯一的动力。
根本没有要做你的推动力。
you asked,
am i affected when you worry so much over you having to leave.
i say,
no. we're not that connected yet. i cant sense how you think.
it's a factual answer. yet you read it emotionally.
alright maybe i didnt make myself clear.
or i've failed as a uhh, friend..
fish, buck, duck, squid, chicken.
WHATEVER.
i told of my glory at 11:52 pm
chapter 19:
you always doing things which surprise me and make me glad.
but after this period of time,
does it mean i'll still be me and youll still be you?
so uncertain.
what lies in the future is not for us to say..
then can i say one day you'll quit smoking?
i know for sure youll be back.
i know for sure you wont forget me.
but still, im not confident..
为什么心可以那么乱？
it's not because of someone else. it's because im having too many things on my mind.
my small mind is unable to tolerate so many things, to fulfil so many roles..
in one week youll be gone..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
whenever i walk to the BM lockers,
suddenly stressed to be talking when 2 MMs are there i dont know why LOL.
and i figured, not to say hi. greet them cos theyre MM :)))
but anyway, im still waiting for a chance to sit in to some other team's MM's or BM's bp. cos i've heard enough of red falcon's bps lei. lol. saw bison and taurus combined bp also. oh well. never mind. mako and falcon be good friends can liao. lol! and somehow falcon and errrh, mammoth, viper blah blah blah all friends lah! OH WELL :)))
anyway, got this off ZL's.
"Hope that you people out there won't regret on the decisions or choices that you made and may the path you choose be a satisfying and fufilling one!!"
*arghs*.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i feel so quite helpless for moments when without my always-there managers around me. feel so lost for that moment. the next cubicle is still so full. yet falcon only had mr jimmy, mr jinghui and me at 3pm. oh well. bit saddening. and none of us stopped working. we were calling, taking calls, spamming blah blah. but still, i dont know, those not around now go for results only, not process.
im still busy with handling others' recruits. unknowingly, i now already have a 3rd generation downline which is uh, downdowndownline already. oh wow. =x
but they dont contribute to me..
it's okay mr jimmy.. im learning and perfecting.. it's to prepare me for when i chiong recruits again.. so that by that time, i'll be doing everything ON MY OWN :))) GOGOGO!
mr jimmy FIGHT CAR ALL THE WAY!!
huifang FIGHT MM ALL THE WAY!!
downline, downdownline, downdowndownline, fight fight fight..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
time and again,
i try to hide but to no avail.
i repeat, i cant play so many roles.
as a presenter, as a leader, as a ME fighting for MM, as the huifang you all see.
i tend to get tired and it's bloodyhell written all over my face at some moments.
how many people have in the past few days have already asked me
"huifang, why look so stressed?"
"huifang, why looking so tired?"
"huifang, you okay anot?"
to this, i can only smile and say "no lah no lah.."
from the point of time when i step into office,
i force open my eyes, keep the smile, keep the stride.
walk with my mind filled with thoughts, speak with reckless confidence.
i have to think faster than how fast time passes,
and maintain my direction.
sometimes i really wonder,
what am i?
人的心，本来就是脆弱的。但我不能表现出那一面。
really, i am just an ME..
i told of my glory at 10:59 pm
thanks ah idol. for this quiz. ha. and if everyone takes some notice of time, it's currently uhh, 7am more or less. IM NOT GOING TO SCHOOL. fish. might as well drop out?! NO LAH, today is level camp. SIAN. no voice, no voice, no voice. so GO OFFICE HELP MR JIMMY TAKE HIS DOWNLINE LUH :))) for once, do something good.. do something right.. do something which benefits others.. :)))
1. At what age do you wish to marry?
erm, after i hit BGM then say. HAHA. no lahs, hmm, 25 26? otherwise any older and my husband might be 30+ already. ha!
2. Have you given your first kiss away?
haha.. PAISEH LEH. lol. yes.
3. If you were to be stranded on a desert island, who are the 3 blog buddies you would take with
you? Why?
- blog buddies? xian qing! so she can at least entertain me. lol!
- besides her, i REALLY DONT KNOW HAHA!! my blog isnt used to correspond with people, so i dont know who reads it!
4. Where is the place that you want to go the most?
JAPAN!!
5. If you can have 1 dream to come true, what would it be?
be successful! :)))
6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?
uh, it's a fact lah. haha. you know, the reflection of light thingy..
7. What are you afraid to lose the most now?
myself. LOL.
8. If you win $1 million, what would you do?
make myself successful first. then i'd be even richer than a million..
9. If you meet someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
ha. it always depends on the situation kookoo..
10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
WAH SOLID. IDOL IS KOOKOO, KOOKOO, KOOKOO. NO LAHHH. IDOL IS FRIENDLY AND HUMOROUS AND uhhhh, *thinks very hard* HAAHHAH, PRO LAH!
11. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
love me, and uhh, materialistic abit can anot? can drive (and i mean got CAR not only got license) HAHA :)))
12. Which type of person do you hate the most?
arrongants.
13. What is your ambition?
to become successful! *driving a BMW. WAHAHAH!
14. If you have fault, would you rather the people around you point out to you or would you rather they keep quiet?
point it out to me lah please! be nice! LOL.
15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
family yea..
16. Are you a shopaholic or not?
QUITE LEH. give me money!!
17. Find a word to describe the person who tagged you.
IDOL! HE's MY IDOL!
18. If you have a chance. Which part of your character you would like to change?
MANAGEMENT SKILLS!!! ARGH. especially self-mgmt, ha!
19. Is there anything that u have did make u felt regret?
but of cos..
20. What makes you different?
IM HUIFANG, AND THAT'S HOW IM DIFFERENT! *kind of copy idol's. LOL.
i tag:
free then tag others HA! :))) HOW ABOUT XIANQING FOR A START?
what happened to tracking back about your past? tracking back about my past? is it that after i've left the chicken our relations go forgotten? you never told me you dont fancy me being with the squid. you could have said so.. o.O
i told of my glory at 6:59 am
Wednesday, 5 March 2008
chapter 18:
i really think it's love..
cos sometimes there are paths
we would love to take
but things just are not right for it
perhaps things could be different
might be different
but that is not the case right now.
but im thankful
we knew each other
still, i wonder
how much blood must be spilled?
how much pain must be felt
for one to realise
to treasure
to cherish everything around
if only the world
could revolve
without pain
agony
anger
hatred..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today was the most fish-ed up,
most lethargic,
most alone,
most lonely (isnt that the same as alone?),
most unnatural laughters,
most boring,
most
most fishtard day.
i took a cab down as i was
met someone in the lift, and omg. he smokes too. tsk tsk tsk.. just a friend, but how disappointing.. saw cigs in his pocket and smelled it on him. oh well. each team has their own SPECIALITY. my team specialises in people who hate smokers. =x
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
and mr zhiliang is DAMN funny.
*we were at the b1 lift lobby.
ZL- hello.
HF- hi.
*lift door opens, arrow points down.
HF enters lift, ZL doesnt.
*door re opens with arrow pointing up, ZL enters lift
ZL- HELLO!!!
HF- ......!!!
i somehow think those mako MMs might think im damn unfriendly or what lah! cos everytime i see mr ZL, mr jeremy (the MM) and mr BH i dont know if i should say HI or HAO! =x abit weird to say hao to them cos like.. all damn informal de! LOL. but aiyahs, always they say hi to me first. so im like.. ARGHHH. damn paiseh lah. haha!
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went for company updates. mr steve and mr leon were the emcee and theyre like UHHHH. LOL. left halfway cos my eyes were REALLY closing. omg paiseh. so many managers behind =x but NEVER MIND. and that manager from house of blue is damn nice lah! came down and went upstairs again to get BGM key just to open the stupid locked door at b1. lol. but i dont know his name lah haha different generation one =x
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first day without my managers around, a day wasted..
i told of my glory at 6:54 pm
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
chapter 17:
getting tired,
cos im sick.
but i just seem to feel the rush when i see you..
motivated.
focusing..
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recently im facing so many things which make me grow.
regardless of intellectually, in skills, in confidence, etc.
"i learn things which make me change, change into someone different from the one i used to be.."
how true. spoken by one with experience, as i learn from him.
i realise it's only in a no-choice situation that i really will learn.
tmr the managers of red falcon are going on the genting trip.
upline and mr adrian were talking to me just now about the planning for the next few days.
mr adrian told me that if there were to be appointments and presentations for his teams' people, he'd get them to contact me.
cos i'd be the one handling the appointments for them.
optimistically, a chance to prove myself.
pessimistically, oh shit.
i dont know how well-prepared i am,
i dont know how many people will approach me for help.
i kind of have the kind of "oh man, finally my day to show" but yet "huh how.." feeling.
every encouragement to me really goes out a long way. just one message could make me smile.
cos when you called me, your tone was that gentle.
you knew i was tired out.
i know you knew.
cos youre the only one above who understands
and shows concern for me.
besides miss lois of cos.
give me that encouragement and planning.
yet time and again i fail to meet your expectations.
im sorry,
but thank you.
on my part, i have to:
- do planning for daily activities like recruitments and such for my side
- do basic training for any new agents
- complete hafiz and friend's training (arrange CS, do family tree)
- boon jian's appointments and recruitments
at this point of time, i need help from managers from KTA too.
was told to approach miss jessie or miss jasmine for help.
mr joseph, mr cal, mr steve, those car achievers.
oh splendid.
this is a time for independence.
mr J may be around, but he has to fight for his car too.
it's okay, there's still mr ZL around in SHA. haha. time to return any favour you owe me mr ZL :)))
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ahh, all thanks to mr mengwee, im now stuck to watching doraemon movies. LOL.
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and tmr marks the start. 3 days of battle without my most depended-on managers guiding me.
i told of my glory at 10:53 pm
somehow i could sense the disappointment in your words.
though i couldnt hear you,
though i couldnt see you,
i could only read your words,
but i knew how you felt.
it was the first time i ever talked about such stuff with you.
as i find more and more people having a side of them they dont generally show to everyone else.
we may feel down at some point of time.
but no worries,
cos like you said,
we all have the same goals.
to fight for what we want in life.
so ultimately, we're fighting for the same thing.
people come and go,
we cant change how they think.
if they think otherwise, we have no choice either..
how true..
i never know what my downline could be thinking,
i never know what my upline could be thinking.
seeing people come and go within this 4 months i've stood through,
i feel the pain..
some friends, some brothers, some sisters,
yet im helpless..
maybe you think you didnt do enough,
maybe you think you've not done the right thing.
you may think you arent a good upline.
but let me tell you,
as an upline,
youve done what you ought to,
youve done what you can.
we, as sidelines of hers, see the effort from you her upline.
if ultimately, the decision is not something we look forward to,
we fight on.
we look for new blood.
like what you say,
we let go and move on..
if i were to hold on to the past, i'd be wallowing in sadness in my 1 ME and 1 MA that i lost..
so it's okay brother, i'll always be there to help you with any PPs you need me to..
i promise :)))
to red falcon, cross my heart. i'll be there to do PPs for you all if it's within my means. i dont care if it's downline's, upline's, sideline's, upupline's, upupupline's, upsidedownline's whatever. i dont care whose recruit. as long as youre from miss lois bgm group, i'll be there.
and even, as long as you're from venture era. huifang is just a phonecall away. referring to the highly-demanded-by-mako pp file, huifang's contact number is ****6633 the pretty number.
cos i know, despite all these, i will reach my target. someday..
i told of my glory at 1:01 am