Friday, 31 October 2008
chapter 258:
it's like youre there..
but youre not really there..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today was fun but tiring (:
went for a jap thingy and WELL, something happened in office which stunned me. me and mr steven's conversation actually.
mr steven- ehhh hf why you havent hit mm huh!
hf- harrr? hehe. last minute sales cock up leh =x
mr steven- AIYOH. never mind. i tell you what. from today onwards, your recruitments right, ALL th business plan i help you do.
hf- HAR??! *shocked.
mr steven- yah lah! so far i help ___ (i dont know who that guy is) and all his recruitments join one leh! when you got recruitment you tell me, i help you do. okay?
hf- ahhh. ok! :D
mr steven- MR PATRICK! *ZOOOOM.
he went after mr patrick. lol. SO SUDDEN. he jumped up fr the sofa so quickly that he knocked into me but well, FUNNY! cos he was like, super happy to see mr patrick or something liek that. haha.
but well, mr steven is really really taking good care of, and paying alot alot of attention falcon now (:
hee!
oh yea, th JAPS! :D i felt so bad making those jap guys walk 3 bus stops worth of distance ): just cos i sucked at finding bus directions. stupid 1way roads should be fully eliminated! RAWR. we walked through chinatown, little india, orchard road. HEE (: and they got me a gift at th end of th day! so sweet of them right :D
to think i was frantic about having to bring 7 guys around SG. HAHA. =p
oh yah, they loved th chicken rice i brought them to eat for lunch! :D THEY CLEARED IT UP AND SAID "DELICIOUS!" hehehs! :D
one of them was taking th picture. hehs.
well, tired but fun (:
and they're really really nice people.
though there were problems communicating but well! it worked out well! :D
kentaro is SO weijian-like luh you know! too bad i dont have an individual shot with him =p
well, ryu says there is another batch next week :D
but OMG my legs damn pain and my face is like.. partially sunburnt!
but for th fun...
:D
maybe i will! xD
OFF TO SLEEP! TMR THERE'S CO AND COFFEESHOP BREAKFAST WITH CHIA WEIJIAN :D
womanizer alike. always so suggestive yet stepping back at th same time..
NICE SONG :D
when i think back on these times
and the dreams we left behind
i'll be glad because i was blessed to get to have you in my life
when i look back on these days
i'll look and see your face
you were right there for me
in my dreams i'll always see you soar
above the sky
in my heart
there always be a place
for you for all my life
i'll keep a part of you with me
and everywhere i am there you'll be
and everywhere i am there you'll be
well you showed me how it feels
to feel the sky within my reach
and i always will remember all the strength you gave to me
your love made me make it through
oh i owe so much to you
you were right there for me
in my dreams i'll always see you soar
above the sky
in my heart
there always be a place
for you for all my life
i'll keep a part of you with me
and everywhere i am there you'll be
because i always saw in you my light, my strength
and i want to thank you now for all the ways
you were right there for me
you were right there for me
for always
in my dreams i'll always see you soar
above the sky
in my heart
there always be a place
for you for all my life
i'll keep a part of you with me
and everywhere i am there you'll be
and everywhere i am there you'll be
there you'll be
i told of my glory at 10:08 pm
Thursday, 30 October 2008
chapter 257:
it's like catching lightning the chances of finding someone like you
it's one in a million, the chances of feeling the way we do
and with every step together, we just keep on getting better
so can i have this dance (can I have this dance)
can I have this dance
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today was a day past with me having mood swings.
i wonder why..
i wandered off alone a couple of times..
i wonder why i've become this way..
take my hand, take a breath
pull me close and take one step
keep your eyes locked on mine,
and let the music be your guide.
i met boon hock today..
so long since i last saw him (:
remember th last time there was one night when falcon cubicle was empty except for me and he came to talk to me.
he played with th bmw model and broke the side view mirror just to test out th suspensions. hahas..
oh no mountains too high enough, oceans too wide
'cause together or not, our dance won't stop
let it rain, let it pour
what we have is worth fighting for
you know i believe, that we were meant to be
do you know how much i miss you?
i couldnt tell anyone..
no one at all.
th trip home was one filled with wild thoughts..
won't you promise me (now won't you promise me, that you'll never forget)
we'll keep dancing (to keep dancing) wherever we go next
the song that kept playing for that one hour trip home was th song you were singing as you walked past me th first time i ever took special notice of you..
take my hand..
when a friendship changes, supposedly to be better,
but under such circumstances,
it's painful.
well..
it doesnt really matter anyway..
but still..
only he cares,
when he isnt even by my side everyday.
but soon..
i told of my glory at 10:09 pm
Wednesday, 29 October 2008
chapter 256:
if it were me,
if it were you.
everything's just so wrong that it isnt how it should be..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
you know what, i saw mr steve in office today. ehhh???? ISNT HE SUPPOSED TO BE IN NS? apparently he's on mc. LOL. =x we had quite a laugh over that lol.
and well, today was a day which went.. okay i guess.
ARGH. 3 more days. gotta fight on! TMR IM MEETING MY LOVELY GIRLS :D
womanizer..
i told of my glory at 11:31 pm
Tuesday, 28 October 2008
chapter 255:
oh boy, so far away from me..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
You got me going
You're oh so charming
But I can't do it
You womanizer.. (:
IT'S A NICE SONG, REALLY.
you know, when he called me i was really smiling talking to him over th phone.
why?
cos he gave me everything,
and im working hard to give him back something.
and i know i will do my best.
no matter how much tears i shed,
how much money involved,
how many 'lives' lost,
how many scars to endure..
because he gave me that gift of patience.
taught me time after time.
when i forget,
reteach.
when it's imperfect,
reteach.
never once a complaint he showed.
that's my upline (:
th other one who cared is a womanizer!
Womanizer, woman-womanizer, you're a womanizer,
Oh womanizer, oh you're a womanizer, baby
You you you are, you you you are
Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer (womanizer)
Boy don't try to front
I (I) know just (just) what you are-are-are
Boy don't try to front
I (I) know just (just) what you are-are-are
i told of my glory at 10:26 pm
chapter 254:
i found you back..
though i thought i'd lost you..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i had this talk with upline yesterday.
he told me,
he'd do his best for every single person. so that even if th person left, he'd not feel th regret.
maybe i've been too affected by whats happening around me and everything. i am totally off-mood, no-heart, however you would describe it.
i dont know why mr mengwee is like this either.
and i dont have to be bothered.
other managers trust my abilities and ask for my help.
but im doubting myself.
i told of my glory at 10:57 am
Monday, 27 October 2008
it's my fault that my people havent hit their positions, havent earned their fucking fat paycheque.
it's my fault if i miss MM this month.
it's damn fucking big my fault if upline misses his first stage of PCI.
but for th last few days, i'll do my best.
cos i promised.
i told of my glory at 2:21 am
chapter 252&253:
my mind holds no space for you.....
ever since....
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i havent MIA-ed.
ive just been thinking..
thinking alot.
so many things have happened around me recently.
is it due to the transition from a jc student to no school?
and im losing control of so many things,
losing touch of my skills painstakenly acquired,
losing myself in this wild pursuit of....
happiness..
is this stress? is this effort? or is this just.. emotions at work?
james is going to aus on 9th nov for his pilot training.
i did not want to go for downdownline's appointment cos i do not have the confidence to.
i am leaving nyjc without a graduation cert.
i am leaving nyjc with no graudation photo.
0723 is going for their a levels.
what does my future hold for me?
and why is everyone leaving my side one by one..?
first i lose my class, then my cca, miss lois, and and.... and..... it's enough. really.
im just..
thinking..
true, you say i have everything, i do not deny. but there are so many things that i once had, which i no longer have. when will be th day you understand how i want to move in this journey. i do not want to lose ANYTHING. i have lost my studies and i have lost so much time. but really, i want to go on this journey, at least with a few people. but now, i only have you and mr mengwee left from when i started. it gets VERY VERY tiring at times. why can others leave but i cant? i know you'd say, leave if you want. but i know the feeling of losing someone whom you thought would be with you for this journey, whether for a downline, upline, sideline, or a friend. id rather you not care so much when you want to and then totally heck when you dont want to. it's very tiring to guess your mood each day.
i told of my glory at 2:19 am
Friday, 24 October 2008
chapter 251:
maybe this is a good start for us :D
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
hahas. well, to that CHARMING/ CUTE friend, fight on :D
im supposed to learn from you ya know!
so must set good example for meeee! (:
*i know youre reading this*
i was super slackish today.
but i was lucky :D
th 1st call i made,
recruitment tmr.
th 2nd call i made,
recruitment tmr.
th 3rd call i made,
pending recruitment.
oh, sheer luck.
im feeling so excited over th pending calstars. =p
downdownline's gonna fight for 1 day ME! :DDD
TMR IS ANOTHER DAY AGAIN! :D
and tmr is amanda's birthday!!
i told of my glory at 11:27 pm
Thursday, 23 October 2008
chapter 250:
th day has come..
the day i so dreaded ever since..
18feb 08..
thanks for all youve done.. (:
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today was a day of.. happy, emo, happy, emo.
cos tmr, 24th october 2008, mr jimmy tan and mr steve sim will be going for ns. ):
some things i will miss about them from my daily dosage of happiness at office:
1. mr steve's singing (no matter where he is)
2. mr jimmy's sarcasm (i always told him his head would've been in th toiletbowl if not for th fact that he's a BM)
3. mr steve's CS in th cafe (i always can hear him)
4. mr jimmy's nagging
5. mr steve's voice which i can sometimes hear from 123456789m away. (not all th time lah. LOL.)
6. mr jimmy's bmw (HAHA)
7. mr steve's singing during co. theme song
8. mr jimmy's presence
9. mr steve's act-cute-ness which always NEVER fails to make me -.-" (he doesnt really look at th environment to act cute lol)
and so many so many things i've learnt from them.
oh yah, there's no one to nag at me about my studies with mr jason le! ): one most memorable such situation was at th cafe when i was doing some planning alone cos no other falcon had reached office yet. so somehow somehow, th both of them were at th next table and asked me about my studies and were nagging at me that jc good, jc good. hahas. then those times.. those times.. nah, my idol will be back soon :D no doubt miss lois always told me to chase after him, to do as well as him. i will continue to do so, with th fact remains though many have left. i will fight on this journey with remembrance of my aims, those encouragements, no matter what..
and poor mr mengwee will be more and more busy from now on.
upline busy with school, jimmy in ns, our bgm inactive. WELL.. that leaves mr mengwee, miss LF and.. me and amelia =x who are well, able to help in managing falcon. argh.. why all at this timing ah!
FIGHT :D
without a care of what happens tmr!
i told of my glory at 11:47 pm
Wednesday, 22 October 2008
chapter 249:
and i know i'll keep going, cos there's still you you you (:
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
day was..
i dont know lah.
head is super pain now.
but i am 100% wide awake, my eyes wide open, and im yawning. *spot the irony*
dinner-overdosed. had kfc with mr mengwee, hockcai, amelia, dididididiming, jingwen and barney (azura's benny) at 9pm. and and and, we met mr nick, keldy, chee yong and john there (: *heart flutters at the handsome's appearance* HAHA. wtf was that for. nah, i didnt really give a damn lol. =x
IM SUFFERING FROM INDIGESTION LAH
day was okay. hahas. did a pp which i think is great. LOL. rawr.
and well, jooyee's appointment tmr. stupid upline hasnt confirmed with me who is going with her =x HOW HOW HOW? im very gan jiong cos die-die CANNOT be me one. my chinese presentation is... 1/2 a bucket of water full. LITERALLY. LOL. and upline has got schooooooool ):
and well, MY HEADACHE WONT GO AWAY. *screams and runs around and bangs wall*
HOW? ):
oh yah, mr steve and mr jimmy are going to NS in 2 more days ):
I HAVENT HAD MY CS WITH MR STEVE LEH!!
*yawns widely* im still wide awake.
i shall.... play audition. LOL.
just those short moments.. make me happy (:
i told of my glory at 11:16 pm
Tuesday, 21 October 2008
chapter 248:
each day just seems to fly pass..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
well, today was horrible.
really.
my throat feels damn terrible.
each word i say makes my throat feel so... rough.
oh well, darren taught me alot yesterday through msn on poly courses :D
shall re-consider to make a more informed choice yeaa (:
anyway, poly's a fact already.
but why did my mood change so drastically just?
i told of my glory at 10:24 pm
Monday, 20 October 2008
chapter 247:
we gotta seize every small chance we have..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
day went okay. i felt a sense of nostalgia rush pass me as i walked in NYJC. haha. the waffle, the ribena, the tapioca chips, the plate of horfun i shared with WJ was really :D i dont know, it's just.. the feeling of nyjc lo. hahas. had a talk with miss tan on my results and yes, im going to ngee ann poly next year. i wanna enter their business studies course and become mr mengwee's junior :DDD HAHA!
but well, the feeling's different already when i walk into NYJC in... clothes which arent anything uniform-ish.
i told my girls not to be sad (: cos im moving on to a route whereby i know it's for myself. no longer for someone that im choosing this route.
something i never told anyone off. i chose NYJC cos.. he told me to. details in th next post (: next post which i'll cry typing. hahas. i'll think back of everything in NY, right from pre to during NY. hahas. oh well.
i dont know what to think now. my mind has been in a whirl these few days. each night hasnt been peaceful sleep for me.
2 more days to go.
when's my next CS gonna be? =x
i told of my glory at 10:59 pm
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one Ill always love
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one Ill always love
Ill be there as soon as I can
But Im busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before
First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one Ill always love
Ill be there as soon as I can
But Im busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before
Ill be there as soon as I can
But Im busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before
Before you
listening to unintended at this unearthly hour makes me feel so nostalgic.
what has happened to him?
not been hearing good happenings to him..
he was my... 2nd closest buddy last year.
but..
i havent contacted him for so long..
and now im leaving...
i dont think he even knows..
those late night walks to the mrt station..
how i miss those simple yet enjoyable times..
i told of my glory at 1:37 am
Sunday, 19 October 2008
chapter 246:
for you who placed trust in me (:
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
guess what i got?
Weijian - www.naijiew.blogspot.com! says:
I MISS YOU.
Weijian - www.naijiew.blogspot.com! says:
That day nobody to put shoes IN THE CO ROOM with me lor! D:
Weijian - www.naijiew.blogspot.com! says:
My slippers were so lonely!\
oh well :D
today.. many funny things happened. lol.
1. when i reached office, jingwen's d/l was watching pablo&bruno and brilliant comp on mr steve's laptop. then like 20min later when she had JUST started on brilliant comp for prolly 10min, mr nick walked over to our cubicle and looked at the laptop. so i went to ask him..
hf- mr nick! you looking for laptop for 1st day BT isit?
mr n- yah.. no laptop leh. this one watch halfway..
hf- oh yah because my side lifung just one person came down too. also needa watch video. kta side still have laptop to spare ma? so your person and lifung's can watch togther..
mr n- oh.. dont have leh.
hf- har.. how arh?
mr n- i dont know leh. how arh?
ARGH. a no-end no-conclusion conversation but was very funny. in the end he went to DHA side to ask and i went to cover SHA side. STILL NO LAPTOP LOL. and in the end, go up for grouping o.O HAHA.
2. recalling about yesterday's certain event to downline during the game made my whole face turn friggin red. OMG. i DONT KNOW why =x benny saw and he was like "eh ur face why so red!" =x EVERYONE SAID MY FACE IS RED. omg =x
mr kit SAM group grouping was super funny luh today. cos there was this.. game. the you know, pass down e actions one. super funny. th duplication process is HORRIBLE. hah! laughed till madass with tammy, jooyee, benny and jiarong. lol. SUPER hilarious luh. especially when i recall about how my group tried to pass on the msg of "lord of the rings" during the last time we played this game. and well, wen bin did a super obscene action that time which made us totally interpret the msg WRONGLY. haha. oh well. those times of interpreting... "hugo boss", "lord of th rings" etc.. :D
didnt manage to get to play th game today though cos i had to go =x
AWWWW. and well, benny is really nice to talk with luh (: cos i took th train w him to pasir ris and well, OMG initially he actually thought me and mr meng were together luh O.o funny shitsxz.
oh yes, i find that i keep crossing path with MLM. sunshine empire, venture era, emMax, now enyouth o.O oh well. whats next? =p
oh yah, if not for 0723 having been to fishermans wharf and taken a picture there with "enyouth" at the background, mr steven wouldnt have asked me about it and i wouldnt know the existence of such a MLM firm. lol. till then. :D
and yes, today. i was very annoyed.
i took it out on benny ):
hais. still feeling bad.
some bastard. always out to annoy me. using "lazy" as his excuse yesterday, then today come and blame me for lousy coordination. hais. dont know how he's gonna succeed if he continues being like that and his organisation keeps being so negative about him in th end, then they come find me and tell me and IM ASSUMED to be the one who spread negative to them. fark. i couldnt be the least bothered about him lo. thank goodness upline isnt th least like him sio. =x
never mind. (:
im looking forward to tmr =p
and it's all because of you~
i told of my glory at 11:30 pm
Saturday, 18 October 2008
chapter 245:
every new day :D
bring me laughter, bring me smiles..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i miss nyjc D:
i miss nyco D:
met bimbo-iest chia weijian for breakfast today :D
YAY! he always cracks my eggs for me (:
chiong-ed to pasir ris after that!
oh yes at office i got a bigbig shock today. i called mr steve, cos his client was looking for him. an when he picked up..
"hello yes huifang?"
LOL. stunned for prolly 2 seconds.
he does rmbr my no huh. LOL. =x
so i was at taurus' cubicle today talking to hobby at night while waiting for diming to call me up to do business plan for him. then came gary and wenbin. and and stupid gary is DAMN bad. when my phone rang he took the call. and acted as my father O.o stupid stupid gary grrrrr. he pranked ryan and huiting luh! HAIS. super guilty please but i dont know how to tell them. lol. and well, he was really kinda sounding father-ish. =p so he's my new father eh LOL..
business plan was.... a big fat joke. LOL. 8 months since i last did a business plan lah! =x
and well, today i did something they call "forced teaching".
i "forced taught" someone today.
i always wanted to do something to make a difference to people's lives.
but if they dont let me help,
i cant.
i hope it did him well.
mr jason insists on calling me aunty fang ): so i call him uncle jason. lol.
mr mengwee,
i'll stand by you and fight together with you :D
with the rest of falcon!
i told of my glory at 11:02 pm
Friday, 17 October 2008
chapter 244:
what a new look (:
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
somehow i feel like i made a wrong turn somewhere along this journey..
its alright, upline said, just keep walking on..
alright i'll just keep walking on.
i hope it brings me to my destination..
he never fails to cheer me up.
oh how i miss him. :D
Weijian - www.naijiew.blogspot.com! says:
Aiyah. We will be friends forever! ;DDD
i told of my glory at 10:43 pm
Thursday, 16 October 2008
chapter 243:
and it's all because of you~
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
im DAMN happy.
my mom has accepted my grades. LOL.
gotta think of how to convince my dad to let me quit school NOW. lol.
i dont wanna waste like.. 2 more weeks in school waiting for overall results which i already know of. =x
so today i went through a mass recruitment at seminar hall. woots! pp was done by miss esther. errm kinda okay i guess =p then the biz plan was done by mr steve. HWOAAA i tell you, super power-packed. when he walked in, he talked alot about biz before touching on the biz plan itself. maybe i should do my BP this style too =p so yes, his BP was ABSOLUTELY cool. totally convincing. :D hope upline puts those 2 people under me since i stayed with them for the whole afternoon! ARGH! (:
oh yah, OMG. sandy says i talk like mr mengwee O.o OMG. she said i duplicate his talking style lo. cos i was walking out with dididi, amelia and hockcai when i met them and miss esther asked me about how was her pp today. but well, i had no intention of speaking like mr mengwee! =x i was seriously VERY shocked when sandy told me i talk like him. ARRRRGH. =x im not as lame and evil as him lo. HAHA =p
TMR HOW? WANT TO GO SCHOOL ANOT?!
i told of my glory at 11:50 am
Wednesday, 15 October 2008
chapter 242:
when things fall back into the place, the perfect organisation rises to kill. :D
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
when we move, we move together.
there is no perfect individual, only a perfect organisation :D
i shall get prepared to go to NP biz or TP finance next year :DDD
lol. my grades are a big joke to me o.O
i told of my glory at 9:59 pm
chapter 241:
and realisations makes more realisations..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
some things i do not take the effort to think more about,
some things i do not realise without the help of upline.
upline is there to guide me always.
never EVER doubt upline (:
he talked to me for like.. 15 minutes after mr steven finished talking to me. but there was alot of content which made me realise how stupid i am at times. yes, i cried. sometimes i just hate it when circumstances make it seem like im at fault due to my laziness to speak more in detail. zhiliang saw me :'( lor. haa damn embarrassing. and as usual, im stunned by how my upline can remain so cool when i cry cos he just keeps talking. and he doesnt like.. look away or what. lol.
so yes, i had a 2 hours talk with mr steven. got the attention of many. haha. cos apparently, when i msg-ed mr mengwee yesterday night, he was with mr steven, and well, he showed mr steven the msg o.O and today we errr, had a talk. lol. got a shock cos i was teaching jiarong some stuff when suddenly mr mengwee called me, sounded frantic and told me to meet him at the cafe immediately. rushed down and met mr mengwee. then had kinda like a coffee session, that makes my 3rd CS with mr steven! ENVY ME (: hehe! but well, was a serious issue. mr mengwee left halfway for an inhouse appt. throughtout the whole session i didnt cry, much as im very sad. but mr steven talked about alot of other stuffs which motivated me to fight stronger than ever.
though a leader has left us,
we will fight on.
stronger than ever,
better than ever.
she will always be my leader, one of the leaders of falcon, who brought me along through trinity. i will follow and carry on her good, overlook her bad, and always always remember her as my leader :D
oh yah, something additional. mr steve was entertaining the kitten just now at the smoking corner when i was waiting for amelia. lol. he was.. entertaining himself also leh. =x like you know, carrying the kitten, playing with it. like his child lah! LOL. i was like, kinda weird standing there =x and he just kinda.. acted like he dont give a damn. LOL. weird.
fark. morning at school.
results. yawns~
i told of my glory at 12:03 am
Tuesday, 14 October 2008
and i thought i could go to sleep tonight smiling,
not crying,
not with a blocked nose like the past 2 nights.
i was wrong.
the truth hurts most when we find out on our own.
upline said i have evrything.
true, he gave me everything,
but something i lack of,
is care and concern from my fairygodmother.
i've known her since 11 months ago..
but now i miss her smile,
i miss her anyhow attitude,
i miss her laughter,
i miss her encouragements,
i miss her VIOLENT pat-on-the-back.
i remember her habit of keeping money in her blazer esp coins,
remember how i had to come all the way back to office from "old trafford" just to get her 50dollar note from her blazer,
remember her habit of forever not finishing her drink,
remember how we ordered 5 people's serving worth of food and finished it just between me and her,
remembered how happy she was whenever she suggested going to eat frog leg porridge and then she'd think how hot the boss of that stall is..
i want her to be there when i make my MM speech and thank her for always guiding me back to right path,
those coffee session whereby i always ended up in tears upon deepest realisations,
those times when she always guided me back on the right path,
those times when she brought me to lunch at good-food places and treated me, just to encourage me cos i had a bad day.....
i told all my new agents who you are,
cos 100% i trust and follow you.
thinking back about those times make me smile.
i remember every single small detail about you..
even you telling me that your heels can never tahan more than 2 months.
times we brainstormed over seminar deco,
mothers' day tea party deco,
turning up at 10am just to finish the deco..
running here and there just to finish the chores you set me,
and even when you sabotaged me by arranging for a coffee session with mr steve without telling me in advance,
and even when you directly told me that the guy i fancied is a useless guy..
those times were so happy, so fun-filled, filled with laughter.. and all..
please come back,
we need you.
it's been an hour. but the tears are still flowing..
mr mengwee says he'll tell me about it tmr.
but i can assume much.
i told of my glory at 1:29 am
Monday, 13 October 2008
chapter 240:
and sometimes you just make me smile like there's no tmr..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
day was great, PARTIALLY. lol. afternoon sucked big time. i only managed to get to office during like.. early evening ):
seminar was great :D downlines were highly inspired. and the deco was... omg. lol. some nice, some CMI lah really. LOL! the deco at the door was great. photos of our car achievers :D i see handsome mr meng and stylo miss lois, and SOMEONE looked so cute lah! HAHA. but he no longer looks like that. no longer the cute factor, but the errr, MAN factor. HAHA. oh well, he's just.. one of the car achievers i do talk to often. LOL.
and yes talking abuot car achievers, my lovely car achiever is so damn blardie evil! he asked me "how many months pregnant?" WAHHHH super horrible lor ): stupid mr mengwee!! my downlines were SUPER entertained by him lahhh. and well, theyre motivated :D all thanks to stylo stylo miss lois poh's picture and mr mengwee's HANDSOME picture hokay!
and yes, i msg-ed miss lois and mr mengwee and upline when i was on my way home.
i really really really miss miss lois alot! ): told her some of my heartfelt thoughts through that msg wahahs. she said "so touching ah!" :D cos yea, i was having a talk with mr mengwee today. really, it's easy to lose the faith of one. but difficult to win back the respect of one. so many thoughts we have in our minds but we dont share with one another.
i must win back the faith of my upline.
i must produce result.
as long as i put my heart into doing everything i do!
i realise that everything we have we have to really cherish it. down to the trust others put in us and the trust we put in others. it's not easy to trust others, really.
like the trust my downlines have for me, and the promise i give them that i will do my best for them to take them to greater heights.
the trust i put in my upline, that never wavered after i was re-motivated to fight. like what mr mengwee said, i lost the fighting-factor right after mr meng achieved his PCI. which is last dec. this may have been the cause of my upline losing faith in me. but with the trust i have in him that he will not harm me, i follow him. i do complain, still (hehes), but ultimately, he's the one who gave me VE.
i believe in him, no matter what. and it's gonna stay this way. sometimes he may push me away though i keep pushing forward. but it's alright. i will keep trying. the bad he's done is erased by all the good he's done for me..
i told mr mengwee why i left so early those past few days.
dont know how to handle.
so i chose to run away,
i chose to leave.
i will learn.
and fight alongside with my upline.
get his car incentive with him.
become an outstanding leader.
and PROVE THOSE NEGATIVE PEOPLE WRONG!
I WILL BE THE FIRST MANAGER MY UPLINE TRAIN UP.
I WILL BE THE FIRST BM MY UPLINE TRAIN UP.
because i believe my upline will bring me to success with him!! :D
SIANMAN. SCHOOL TMR T.T
i told of my glory at 10:38 pm
Sunday, 12 October 2008
chapter 239:
sometimes walking behind you on this journey gets so tiring..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today there were three things which made me smile:
1. gary and his twit language (: super act cute sia! the "iie lurrbess euus" kinda thing you know :D
2. mr steve walked past the table i was doing training at, and 3 out of 4 times when he walked past, he sang. and when i looked at him, he smiled and said "oh continue talking.." LOL. o.O
3. mr mengwee said "you go tell the wall, dont tell me. write "ang meng wee" on the wall then talk to it. go!" cos i kept on ga jiao-ing him just now =p
other than that, i received a text msg from mr ng TS. really really big shock i got. it's as if he's read my blog T.T
but yea..
he's been a real nice and caring teacher ever i knew him.. (:
thinking back about those times during ZHCO really made me smile ya hahas..
so yes other than that we got a group up at 8pm today. hais. made me realise alot of things.
the rate at which im going is VERY VERY SLOW.
some things have to be solved by myself.
i cant rely on mr mengwee as much as how i used to,
cos after all, im hitting mm soon.
if i rely on help for evrything, i will never learn.
this is what my upline said.
i texted mr mengwee on my way home after all these realisations, but he still told me to look for him tmr.
i must really really thank god for this luck i have, being in falcon, being under mr mengwee.
he mentioned during the group up, never once did he doubt us, doubt our ability.
he'd never forsake any one of us.
time after time, i protect my upline.
i did what mr mengwee said we should do.
i protected him.
but i've changed you know, im no longer the marketing executive you all knew who lamented over her upline not giving a damn about her.
but time after time, my upline throws my effort away.
during the chalet when i put aside food for him cos he came late for the bbq,
he got more food than even mr steven but all he did was demand for more chicken..
each time he walks away without answering my question,
is like throwing over one slap..
i dont know why it's like that either.
what have i done wrong?
if im such a horrible person, mr mengwee wouldnt give a damn about me too.
but it isnt so. everyone around -ves about my upline.
-ve
-ve
-ve.
FUCK.
shut up will you all?
im trying very hard.
he's pushing me away.
but im still trying.
i dont want to give up..
i will never give up on my upline.
cos he's the one who gave me VE..
so many mistakes along the way, mistakes which have harmed me. but im willing to forget it all.
over what happened during trinity last year.
i'd given up.
i'd decided to forget it.
i told HIM so, in feb 08.
but still, upline remains oblivious to all this,
or he doesnt even give a damn.
forget it.
im stuck for so long already.
i shall climb out on my own.
with the help of still, mr mengwee.
each time he has such talks with me or with us, i learn too much, cos there are too many realisations..
if not for him,
i'd have left long ago.
thanks mr mengwee.
i told of my glory at 11:19 pm
chapter 238:
i could smile so naturally, until it all went back to the first square where i thought i had left off..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
it gets real sickening when im left alone to do EVERYTHING on my own.
not allowed to sit in appointment,
have to help people do this do that,
(and i CANT reject cos it's so
ll
not allowed to ask more than 2 questions cos he will get annoyed,
not told anything,
not updated anything,
something set by him but he
I DONT CARE IF HE READS THIS.
i am VERY
annoyed,
irritated,
disappointed,
pissed,
angry,
annoyed,
irritated,
disappointed,
pissed.
what else?
and howd you feel when not only such above matters happened to you within a day?
plus an added on realisation that someone so dear actually NEVER noticed this pair of heels before, and never even remembered me wearing heels to office before,
when he seems not to give a damn about you cos everything is about his own organisation already and youre nothing but just something he asks about ONCE in awhile.
我想我应该轻轻放开你的手
so true.
no longer i will be taken by the hand and guided on everything.
im just a marketing executive,
why is everyone treating me like im a BM. an independent BM?
so what if im 3k LV left to MM? so many things i dont know,
and people dearest to me prevent me from learning from them,
and wanting me to learn from others?
FUCKING IRONICAL.
i felt very guilty cos i took it out on amelia.
im sorry amelia.
one of those FEW falcons who will be there for me no matter what, but i took out my anger on her.
want to cry, waste of tears.
held back.
want to take it out somewhere,
nowhere to.
i downed like 6 glasses of red wine today as if it were the typical alcohol.
no use on me.
i was 100% sober and didnt feel better.
i want to get drunk and forget my sorrows, troubles, problems..
i told of my glory at 12:36 am
Friday, 10 October 2008
chapter 237:
and its all because of you :D
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
tam and i are considering a re-plan for our hols. oh well..
im tired! =x
TILL TMR!
i told of my glory at 10:13 pm
Thursday, 9 October 2008
chapter 236:
sometimes your anger makes me smile,
cos i know you care..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
THIS IS A HIGHLY NEGATIVE POST. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE INFLUENCED BY MY EMOTIONS. THANKS.
i kind of hate it when you forget my existence, neglect me, and well, i hate that.
i know youre not my boyfriend,
i know im not the only person you have an OBLIGATION to care for,
and i know im not chio, pretty, cute, not "the perfect match" whatever positively-attractive adjectives you can insert here blah.
but couldnt you have just some constant notice of me?
i know im not showing the best of effort but can you understand i cant get used to this life im living?
im tired out everyday and i walk home telling myself today i did my best.
for the past week it's been like this.
why do you have to go to the extent of telling people youre glad to see this change in me when you dont even show it to me?
whats the purpose of people telling me you actually cherish me alot when i dont even feel it?
why a cold reply when im asking a favour of you, pleading with you?
and yet when you need me, you come to me with the different attitude.
fucking hell i only have 3 days left..
i feel ive been doing alot, but why is it that results dont show?
WHY?
you said youd help me..
you said you would..
please..
im already pleading with you for once like ive never before.
is there something wrong ive done?
something wrong my people have done?
or some things are just not meant to be mine?
i told of my glory at 11:41 pm
Wednesday, 8 October 2008
chapter 234 and 235:
some things dont change, including you you you.. (:
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
hello there.
im back from falcon chalet yes.
chalet was alright :D
bbq was fun. james came :D miss him so much uh! =p
food preparation was funnest :D me and amelia reeked of black pepper sauce =p but well worth it cos the fish was MMMM-delicious!!
mr steven, miss chelsy, miss jam, miss jingyun and mr shunjie came for our bbq :D didnt get to talk to them much though. oh well.
had debrief at around 2am. oh well.
mr mengwee gonna sponsor 150$ if i hit MM by 12th.
I DONT KNOW LAH.
4 people slept on the beds. mr mengwee, me, azura, mr jimmy. stupid mr meng think im his cushion lah o.o in the end fight fight fight here and there until damn tired lol. kookoo azura kept snuggling up to me from behind. omg so ticklish =x then threw her arm around me ARGH. so i kinda.. hid behind mr meng more cos the aircon was blowing directly at us so i tried hiding behind him but AZURA SNUGGLED MORE. damn it. dont expect me to hug mr meng right! SO I LEANED BACK ON HER :D haha! she woke up to find me lying half on her LOL. upline, amelia, diming were making so much noise around 5am T.T is only then that i fell asleep laaaa. :D
so came home today noon and bathed before going to office.
today is what i call busy :D
very very great sense of achievement. (:
oh yah, upline's been sending encouraging msgs :D
he's changed alot.
alot (:
and this song.. great lyrics!
在无声之中你拉起了我的手
我怎麽感觉整个黑夜在震动
耳朵里我听到了心跳的节奏
星星在闪烁
你会怎麽说
你已经有他就不应该再有我
世界的纯真此刻为你有迷惑
我想我应该轻轻放开你的手
我却没有力气这麽做
if i could have your shoulder always..
upline msg me, downline's appt just never close. hais. his first deal how? arghh!
i told of my glory at 10:36 pm
Monday, 6 October 2008
chapter 233:
there are jokes you never could tell,
descriptions you could never use,
cos some things are..
REALLY sensitive =p
HEHS.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
EH YOU KNOW WHAT, IM REALLY REALLY HAPPY TODAY COS MY MOTHER BOUGHT ME A PAIR OF HEELS FROM CHARLES AND KEITH WHICH COST $59.90 OMGAWDXZ. the catch is that, my mother NEVER paid for my heels before! LOL.
chalet is tmr! bbq night is tmr! LIT PAPER IS TMR! CHEM MCQ IS TMR!
aiyah screw the exams lah, prepared mentality to enter poly next year already :D
HAHAHS :D
this is what i updated in the afternoon:
now i know what miss lois meant when she said "if youre really fighting, talk until no voice still talk."
i debriefed while coughing abit.
i went through book coughing alot.
i boarded the bus home coughing like hell.
i ordered bbq food and over the phone i was coughing so much that the person told me to drink more water.
and now im drinking honey water and still coughing like...
my throat is spliting apart.
i told of my glory at 10:04 pm
Sunday, 5 October 2008
chapter 232:
THERES ALWAYS THESE AURA SURROUNDING YOU.. (:
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
reached office and received a BIG shock!
cos i was gonna do a mass presentation at 3pm and guess what, MR MENGWEE'S KIT WENT MISSING T.T wahhh. super freaked out. somemore he was like "how i know. yesterday you use liao then?" WAHH. cua sai again sia. then i was SUPER frantic and went around looking for it. couldnt find it and he was like.. dulan. then i called amelia and she said he asked julian to keep it for him yesterday. called him and asked him then he said SHEEPISHLY "ehhh yah hor. hehe." WALAO EH SCARE ME FOR NOTHING T.T but at least after that he bothered enough to ask me how was today :D hahas! oh yah so i went around trying to borrow kit and guess what, everyone was either not in office, going out for appointment, or didnt have a a kit. WALAO. in the end at 2.35pm bo bian. decided to call mr steve to disturb him during his sentosa trip LOL. so called mr steve to borrow kit from him and PHEW! lucky i managed to get him in time so borrow the kit from him :D and yea, mr ZT's bp was powerpacked sia =pp
my presentation was alright i guess. not at my best though =x cos it was cold and i was having sore throat, super distracted. mind wandered off also.. =x to i dont know where..
that was pretty much what i did for the whole day. oh yah. parkway's novo SUCKS man. their range is like.. almost as much as the no. of donuts i have on the table now.. =p and yah, sat there talk cork with tammy and upline (i also dont know how planning led to that) about.. company's future, planning for this month, cos we're gonna go treat our whole organisation to a meal after we win the challenge with jimmy bm group! =p
ABIT COMPLACENT RIGHT? cos we will fight all the way!! FOR UPLINE'S CAR INCENTIVE :D
even if lose also go all out!!
group up with mr steven tmr!! :D
i told of my glory at 10:01 pm
chapter 231:
things would always be the best if i had stepped back in the past..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today today today and today.
great evening i spent with my 4e6 gang yea :D long time no seeeee and yes, we went to settlers cafe and had fun there! :D
and hwoaaa, fought with my stupid CA in office lo, due to a series of events.
1. i told him he owes me one meal cos ystd he msged that whoever dont turn up owes him a meal. but HE DIDNT TURN UP LOR! and he told di ming he'll treat me to a meal of "high-calcium content".... sperm T.T nabehhhh. horrible shit right? then he look so gleeful over this... joke of his. even di ming was like O.o lol.
2. i called him "fucking pervert" cos of some other things he said.
3. i continued calling him that cos he insists that he has so many girls wanting him to jio them but i got no guys wanting to jio me, and that im jealous of him cos of that. and if i wanna join the queue of girls lusting over him im nowhere near. and INSISTS somemore you know. OMG.
4. he used his hand to grab my head T.T as in, from the top. PAIN LOR.
and he did it TWICE somemore. :'( BAD HORRRRR.
and anyway,
i finally realise that upline has always been a very very nice person, except that i didnt step back to try and re-try.. (:
took me so long right, that's why i took so long to produce result! HAHAS. =x
SLEEP LAHHHHHH TMR STILL ANOTHER LONG DAY TO GOOOOOOOOO.
i told of my glory at 12:12 am
Friday, 3 October 2008
chapter 230:
maybe it things were this great from the start,
things might have been so.. so.. different..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
I AM A VERY VERY HAPPY GIRL :D
bcos upline has planned my near-future plans for me (:
HAHA. hear le very shiok leh!
1 year later i am an MM in the company :D
BEFORE THE 8TH!! ALL THE WAY!
(though highly impossible cos my people are coming on 6th, 7th, 8th.)
HAHA. never mind.
i shall celebrate my anniversary with VE with a bronze badge but with a blazer in hand! =p
SO WHAT PEOPLE 1DAY ME, 1DAY MM, 1MONTH MM, 9DAY BM, 1MONTH BM?
i have been through a long and winding journey, but im still here today!
CLASSIC ANNIVERSARY POST COMING SOON OKAY :D
but anyway, TODAY!
extracted from my kookoodoodle mimmy's .bs,
and then huifang came down to outram park to meet me to go paris(pasir ris, but i short-formed it conveniently).
my first msg to her: i am still at home... ... ... meet you at paris.
she ignores my short form.
finally, when we met up,
huifang: ... pasir ris you mean?
pasir ris is the singapore's version of paris... ?
now THIS is kinda funny, but this is totally horrible okay!!
i succeeded at terrorising huifang.
at some noob cycling machine which was 3 storeys high..
huifang: you dont ride so fast can anot!
tammy: huh, so boring leh. (continues paddling faster on purpose)
huifang: tammy STOP IT LAH! (closes her eyes and starts getting really afraid and annoyed)
the whole time she was shutting her eyes until i coaxed her to take a peek.
NABEH RIGHT. this kind of evil friend hor. then i kept screaming lah please. cos when i was on it with jeanette she was very
oh well well,
i learnt alot through talking with upline today (:
talked for like.. almost an hour? and missed the company updates. LOL. then chiong-ed up to submit sales and our standing orders :D
3.9k CONFIRMED!
JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU YAY :D
am i sounding abit dumb here?
oh well.
ALL THE WAY :D
for upline, for my target, for my upline's CAR, for my paycheque, and for my ORGANISATION!! (:
GO SLEEP SOON :D grouping tmr morn!
i told of my glory at 11:20 pm
Thursday, 2 October 2008
chapter 229:
maybe it things were this great from the start,
things might have been so.. so.. different..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
upline has been really nice really.
and today, he made a decision which made me owe him really really big time :D
yay my upline is the best (:
cos he makes wise decisions by thinking twice before deciding, rather than do anything in a rush.
OH MAN.
3.8k to MM. FIGHT!! I DONT WANNA LOSE TO MEIJUAN!! :D
she's left with 2.7k! SHIT MAN. catch up catch up!! (:
and im super motivated to fight on with my upline's encouragement!!!
YAY! :D
i told of my glory at 11:04 pm