Friday, 31 July 2009
day 1 camp was already fun-filled (: love vasco. vasco is extracted from some explorer's name lol. tmr im going back man. lol.
spent a day thinking over things. (:
ive come to realise that there is no point in holding onto things that only cause me so much lethargy and worry.
my life ought not to be just about everyone else.
it's about me, with everyone else.
someone even asked me today "would you rather have someone who can go to school with you, or someone who will wait for you outside after school?". first time i hear my friend ask me this kind of rhetorical question. usually im the one playing with english and doing that. haha! *rhetorical means sample situation, not real life*
went to tampines (again) after school with my class girls. went to frolick after that with haseenah and crystal. the frozen yoghurt there is darnnnnn nice (: and also had a chat with crystal and haseenah.
i think,
i am able to make a reasonable and correct choice for myself.
if one chose not to be able to give in even in such small things,
i choose to learn things the hard way.
what i understood, and now, i still understand, is that youre one of a kind, youre the only one ive ever met whom was so perfect, to the extent that your imperfections became so magnified.
i chose to appreciate your prefection and overlook your imperfections, until you started to pick on my imperfections, and pushed me away.
i will be a happy girl. :D
with my good brother, good sister, and great friends (:
NEW LEVI'S SPECS TMR :D
i told of my glory at 11:33 pm
Thursday, 30 July 2009
it's funny how come i forget some funny details from things that happen on the second day of school,
and have to be reminded by this classmate whom i ACTUALLY thought -ve of.
like for example, this classmate whom i initially was quite -ve of, a guy, passed me his phone to ask for my number (with other classmates also of cos) and i actually DIDNT WANT TO give him my number. and apparently i gave everyone else my number but him :/
and in my impression, i remember i thought him as a "look-abit-handsome-then-damn-haolian-damn-bastard" guy. LOL.
and i didnt want to talk to him cos i felt he was one damn asshole guy, typical snob.
oops,
sorry classmate ;D
youre nice after all.
darn nice.
but so sorry, i dont want to be your sister. HAHA. cos i dont want to be the sister of someone whom has so many girls call brother alr (:
---
driving today was horrible.
except i saw chio A4s and a ferarri which tailgated my car. zzz. CANNOT SEE L PLATE AH.
i think i understand opportunity cost..
i told of my glory at 11:06 pm
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
everyone has their own different reason to be envious over some things others have that we dont have.
is it a sin, or is it just nature?
is it envious? or it just jealous?
maybe ive just been too much of a normal girl living in this realistic society.
that explains my social status which CANNOT be changed for the next 2-5 years. -.-
there are many things i dont ask for now, like material pleasures.
but why is it that for some simple things i ask for, they cant even be done, no matter how hard i try and how much effort i put in?
i still cant bring myself to believe that i spent 2 years screwing up my life,
and then suddenly grew up feeling like a kid grown up too fast in this fucked up society.
maybe thats why sometimes im a horrid crtic and still find it tough to talk to some people.
and now i cant believe im worrying about what im going to do in uni cos what diploma i choose in november will affect my whole life.
and c'mon, i HAVE to get into uni. if i dont, i can go and die, like seriously.
thats the difference between you, you, you, you and me. (yes, there are four "you"s there)
even those few whom understand me the most cant seem to understand that for me, HUIFANG, i HAVE TO worry for my future and i have to plan this out MYSELF, ON MY OWN. probably with the help of Someone i can turn to, but i really dont know either.
one thing for sure is, my parents do not have a bright pathway laid in front of me waiting for me to step upon.
cos im unlike so many of my frens who seem to already have their futures planned out for them.
so perfect..
if only i can have a life like that..
im happy with what i have. but one can never have enough, can they?
if i had a life with my future planned ahead for me, wouldnt it be just great?
i wouldnt have to worry about myself in future,
worry about my parents,
worry about whats going to happen to me,
worry that in future i'll be standing alone in this big big world,
not having a direction in life..
my poly mates keep talking about 10 years later meeting up blah blah blah.
some having a handsome and rich husband and some driving their flashy sportscar etc.
haha. now im worrying.
badly. not over whether i turn up in a flashy sportscar with a rich and handsome husband or not, but whether i'll be able to have a future for myself.
and i think female ego is holding huifang back from telling someone about this.
thanks blog, for hearing me rant and be negative, without me feeling hurt to my ego, and helping me convey this to my readers, that yes, I AM NEGATIVE THINKING ABOUT MY FUTURE.
i see bright prospects and bright futures of others, but why not for myself? i wonder..
i told of my glory at 11:59 pm
had a great presentation today yo! mr fong looked kinda asleep while i peeked into the room during other group's presentations. and when my group went in, same face. (take turn to present group by group)
but when he knew we were doing this analysis on zimbabwe, he kinda jumped awake you know. HAHA. and he was practically firing questions at us :D darn glad that he's actually awake yea! and he asked about questions that FORTUNATELY we could handle. each person chipped in abit to the answers and there you have it ;D
i was telling them, ive been reading up so much about zimbabwe finding out about its fiscal policy that i kinda feel like i live in zimbabwe alr. oh well, all thanks to jc econs which brought this country into my mind, and thats how my current group actually decided to do our report on zimbabwe ;D and well, now that this project is over, we 4 have one thing to proclaim.
WE DONT EVER WANT TO LIVE IN ZIMBABWE!
haha. NO WE'RE SERIOUS! im not gonna lapse into a long lecture on why so. but well, my teacher was saying he wants to go live there cos he can earn millions a month. HAHA. crazy teacher.
went to tampines with classmates after everyone's presentation ended. feel kinda bad cos i kinda ps wl then he went with the guys HAHA. :/ but in the end they went to jj's house so i guess it's not THAT bad. HAHA.
WOOHOO! I CAN SLEEP IN PEACE TONIGHTTTTT ;DDD
next up, STUDY! and prepare for comm skills presentation which is in 2 weeks time :DDD
i told of my glory at 6:47 pm
just finished up my stupid econs report. i think my conclusion kind of KNS. HAHA. no choice. i cant conclude in detail cos word limit is 1.5k but our report was already at 1.8k :/
anyways, remembering how kuku von laughed at smth i said, and smth i told darren which he gave me an expressionless face before, i dowan fulfil also cannot- if i want to get the thing i really want. ): all cos of smth someone said ytd then i und the urgency i have to feeeeeel ):
von, HOWWWWWWWWW????? *stop laughing at me!*
have to finish up my individual analysis before i go to school for presentation! I ONLY HAVE 40 minutes left!
i told of my glory at 10:43 am
Tuesday, 28 July 2009
i am very very very sick. yes, fever. hovered between 38.4 deg to 39.4 deg ever since yesterday night.
cancelled driving today,
couldnt go meet winston and jt today,
and i havent done econs report.
yesterday i shouldnt have stayed for the whole econs lecture luhhhh. when i walked through the temperature-taking gateway the guy manually took my temperature cos the temperature thingy reflected my whole head red, meaning temperature darn high. zzz. the guy looked at me, then looked at his thoermometer, paused for a moment, then said okay.
i think during that time, i alr had a slight fever. cos after csa presentation, i alr felt like my head was darn heavy ):
then never mind, went for econs lecture, and being sick and all-blur, i accidentally drew on wenliang's white shirt with my black ball point pen when i turned around to talk to jj :/ feel damnnnnn bad please!
and well, when we took 8 home after that, i totally concussed :/ changed to 58, continued to concuss.
came home, bathed, concussed on the sofa.
slept till 9 when i woke up for dinner and continued to sleep till today morning then i woke up. ):
for the whole night yesterday, my mom was awake, kept coming over to my bed to apply the new ice pack, to change the towel soaked in water in an attempt to bring down my temperature.
and i remember wenliang's trial presentation, where there was one part that he said "who is the one who wakes up at night to remind you to take your medicine every 6 hours?" cos his topic was about his family.
yeaaa, i feel the love. (: and from my frens who showed me love too :D
going to see doc later at 2pm when the clinic opens. :/
and omg, i got 41/45 for my accounts, though i thought id screw up cos i made so many small mistakes here and there! :DD
ARGH, HEADACHE AND I FEEL DAMN NUAH LAH.
i told of my glory at 11:23 am
Monday, 27 July 2009
csa = CRAP. tp server = CRAP to the power of two!
i spent my sunday plans doing csa report, and i couldnt hand it in. i spent 15 minutes trying to access it, until even the deadline was over already. how annoying. and wenliang keeps thinking it's his fault cos he asked me to help him check his report. but fact is, it's the stupid server's fault. the last time business course people flooded that website was when we had to choose CDS, and the whole server just took darn freaking long to load. and here the problem is again. ANNOYING!
went out to meet csa group to do our presentation slides.
tmr meeting earlier to rehearse abit (: and help the girls with makeup. haha. my class girls are VAINNNNNN lol!
now is already 1.19am and i still canot access the site =.= tmr im gonna hand in hard copy. teacher better take it otherwise i will slap her like seriously. stupid server pissed me off =.=
and i just saw this video. he was leaving and it was their last time chilling out together and they decided to make this video recording of them singing this song. well, nice (:
i've made up my mind
don't need to think it over
if i'm wrong i am right
don't need to look no further
this ain't lust
i know this is love
but if i tell the world
i'll never say enough
cos it was not said to you
and that's exactly what i need to do
if i end up with you
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere,
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place should i leave it there.
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere
i build myself up
and fly around in circles
waiting as my heart drops
and my back begins to tingle
finally could this be it or
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere,
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place should i leave it there.
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere,
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place
should i leave it there
should i give up
or should i just keep on chasing pavements
should i just keep on chasing pavements
or should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere
or would it be a waste
even if i knew my place
should i leave it there
should i give up
or should i just keep chasing pavements
even if it leads nowhere
i told of my glory at 12:42 am
Saturday, 25 July 2009
today,
i went to ion orchard,
i went to far east,
i went to wisma,
i went to taka,
i went to heeren,
i went to cineleisure,
im dead tired after all that shopping with my classmates and im dead beat,
yifang, xinyan, von, wenliang and ebrahim got what they want,
and i come home thinking i have a quiz to complete which actually is a 2 page report.
oh, die csa die..
on a sidenote, i love shopping with yifang, xinyan, von,
I SAW "EXBOYFRIEND" TODAY (HAHA),
and i look forward to seeing 1b21 in formal on monday!
OFF TO MY STUPID REPORT!
i told of my glory at 11:58 pm
Friday, 24 July 2009
today was a nice dayy ;D OB presentation went REALLY well :D hehe. except i kept stumbling over my words cos each time i looked at miss tay i O.O for awhile. LOL.
i love my props ;D the cool cigarette, extra big cig for erika, and the "worse cases, hopeless offenders!" cover for yc. LOL.
went to watch harry potty after school. and wth, i screamed when the stupid corpse in the water grabbed harry's hand. i was expecting that but idk why i still screamed and von got a shock and pam also jumped. LOL. overall, no climax in the show, ron got a nice bod but idk why he grow up alr not cute, malfoy looks darn cool and goodlooking if you cover his face, and well, i didnt even know when the show ended -.- took an interesting route home : 5 -> 22 -> 25 -> attempted 55 but ended up missing it and took cab. LOL.
tmr.. should i go to town with them? though i'll only be like, shopping randomly cos i dont have anything that i needa buy currently. :/ lol. and von, ka, lala all not going cos theyve bought what they need. but wl ask me goooooooo. lol. shall see how.
FINALLY A BREAK TONIGHT YO! :D
one presentation down, 3 more to go!
i told of my glory at 10:08 pm
Thursday, 23 July 2009
today, driving, chionged ob project and csa web, and thats all. skipped ob lecture and well, idk lah, skipped for 3 weeks alr :/ next week skipping also :/ oh well.
today's driving- almost go back lamp post and car. haha. cos always left turn.. suddenly instructor ask me right turn today. then i concentrate on hand, nvr concentrate on leg, step accelerator too hard then my car chiong. LOL. scare my balls offfffffffff!! and 'deadfired' 5 times today. (shucks) went up to 50 kmph, gear 4 (woohoo!) and went on new road today ;D heeeee~
and you know what, I JUST PASSED FTT SIMULATOR ONLINE LOL! first time and i passed! (even though i never got round to understanding what the stuff in the book meant) AND WINSTON FAILED HAHAHAHA. he got 43 i got 45 out of 50 ;D HEEHEE. i know im damn evil, but let me win once CAN???? :D
anw, back to school. comm skills was boring todayyy lol. we just assigned parts to prepare for presentation.
then after that was csa and ob project for the whole afternoon. from 2.30pm, until 8pm. rawr. completed all thats due tmr! next week chiong again! ): mehhh~
waited for friend until 9pm then left school! RAWR. library offing lights alr lo. scary :/
and well, whats happening man. friendships are starting to break up. well, no matter what, huifang will always be there ;DDDD whee~ OB SCRIPT!
i told of my glory at 10:41 pm
Wednesday, 22 July 2009
some interesting thing today! eclipse! but sadly, im in little SG whr we canot see the eclipse ): i waited for the 8am live telecast on tv from china. but the kookoo show had so much talking, analysis-thingy blah blah. in the end i left house in an attempt to reach school on time but well, i was still late. LOL. 9am lesson lah, i reached at 9.15am, just in time not to be mark absent, but marked late. mehhh~
oh yea, was doing ob project when i decided to smth random on facebook! it's this determine who has a crush on you thingy which is HILARIOUS!
LAUGH MY ASS OFF AT THE RESULTS! ;D
Darren - Crushbot's Best Prediction! (meaning the person who has the biggest crush on me LOL!)
Wen Liang - Highly likely to have a crush on you
Jia Jun - Highly likely to have a crush on you
Ebrahim Shakir - Good chance to have a crush on you
Myron Yeo - Medium chance to have a crush on you
HAHAHHAHAH RIGHT? LOL! i think only these 5 names come up cos everyone else LOVES HUIFANG :D haha. oh man, OKAY I BHB OKAY! :/
and well, i think i love my ob group. haha. crazy people i tell you. we took like half an hour to settle for a group picture. lol. hoebin, yuen chai and vonnie looked like triplets today cos their top was sooo similar ;DD HAHA. but besides that, was project project luh. MEHH ):
and went for dinner with darren and erika after project just now. idk why dota can become dot-ah and become a game of dots. LOL. stupid darren and evil me lahhh bully erika ;D make her damn lost for awhile lol. but we were laughing like mad over dinner sio.
and yea, after that took 8 home with WL. wa, record time. i reached home in like, 40 minutes again! record never beats that haha. i took 8, alighted at paya lebar there, 24 came immediately, and alighted at serangoon, 53 was just behind it. shiok sio :D haha ;D reach home early when i want to. haha.
OB presentation and csa submission on friday. and i was given false hopes for csa lah. haseenah said the outlook of all okay alr. in the end 3 sites couldnt work and alot of stuff were missing rawr!! :/ so yea, it's project night tonighttttt ):
and i cant believe friend A actually said "i cant believe you can be so forgiving towards such a matter like that! i see you shed all those tears i find it unworthy for you also lah!" and friend B strongly agreed when they knew about the matter. wa, tio spread -ve sio. but i managed to convince them on my point of view. and yea, im glad that at least darren shares the same viewpoint as me ;D whee~ at least, it's the rainbow appearing after the thunderstorm (:
cos things cant possibly get worse than that, so it can only get better, yea? :DDD
i told of my glory at 10:20 pm
Tuesday, 21 July 2009
bad bad start today! i snoozed my alarm for an hour :/ supposed to meet wenliang and haseenah at 9am to copy BA notes before lesson but in the end, i only left my house at 8.40am, unfortunately took 1 hr 20 min to reach school. thus i only reached at exactly 10am before lesson started. zzz~ i feel darn bad pangseh-ing WL and haseenah LOL. but another thing was, i brought the wrong notes today also! :/ sorry lah, when huifang is in a hurry, well.. i tend to lose my mind a lil :/ LOL.
had driving lesson today after school ;DDD DARN FUNNNNN!
but i tell you, the process of getting there, OMG --- when i walked out of school, 1.34pm. bus 15 came immediately. alighted at eunos link stop, 1.43pm. had to switch bus service. mind you, i could take any of 7 services. but the first 5 buses that came, NONE OF WHICH I COULD TAKE. damn gan jiong that i'll be late :/ and in the end, 3 buses that i could take came together. GRRRR.
so yea, DRIVING! ;D
my instructor is darn good i think (: he explained to me like 3 times what to do for today, then he demonstrated for 4 rounds, then i was told to do it! ARGH. darn scary!! step clutch, turn key, release half, 'biting point', tap accelerator, step accelerator, step clutch, release accelerator, gear up, BLAH BLAH BLAH. OMG. damn scary. today i was to learn how to control, how to change gear, how to do turning, how to stop :/ EH STOPPING IS NOT EASY LAH. my engine stalled at one part cos i geh kianggg never release clutch enough and step accelerator while turning LOL. and my engine died on me twice. cos i reach 'biting point' i still release. LOL. and the first time was when i was at the traffic junction! my instructor was like "STEP THE CLUTCH AND TURN THE KEYYY!!!!" lol darn paiseh. then he told me that i should go book my FTT immediately cos i can only get my final driving test date after i pass FTT. lol. after my lesson i immediately went to book it. darn cool man ;D im gonna have my FTT in less than 3 weeks and i havent even studied yet. the book has been in my bag since.... a few days ago when i bought it. LOL.
went to collect my paycheque after that. saw someone i didnt wanna see, but he actually smiled to me sio. scare my balls off lar -.-
then went to meet my dearest, bestest, craziest, unglam-est friend :D been so long since i saw her i miss her so much larrr! (like since beginning of july LOL) and we were basically talking non-stop after we met :D think she -ve after i told her how fun driving is. cos she finally said she wanna go book her BTT and take manual car rather than auto which she registered for :D yesss, this girl is my dearest jintiannnnn :D
it's funny how when we talk, we can jump topics really fast. from current life, to sec school days, to friends, to brothers, to relationships, to ve, to negativitites, to everything and anything under the sun.
and i realise, sometimes, theres somethings that we just will never understand. how people are drawn to a person just liek that. theres just something thats special about them. yes, that was one of the topics we talked about. its like how we sometimes can unknowingly make a difference in someone's life without us realising it.
but as long as there is the effort, something can definitely be done.
and sometimes, is like, i can put it this way - my mind is clear of what im supposed to feel, my heart knows how i feel, one type is wrong. yet when im with the person, i feel what my mind tells me, cos thats what im used to right from the beginning. but sometimes, our actions defy our mind unknowingly. and this will bring about undesirable consequences.
i know very random larrrr but omg, i miss so many people now. study makes me so busy! projects reports presentations revision! ARGHHHH!!
OB project discussion tmr and csa after that. RAWR!
some misinterpretations should be solved, some questions should be answered. it's called "lay the cards on the table" smth liek that?
i got a feeling im being stalked. LOL.
i shall go find someone to sing lucky with ;D
DAMN NICEEE~ and youtube has super alot videos of duet covers on it! ): MEHHH~
i told of my glory at 10:20 pm
Monday, 20 July 2009
honestly, today was a great day. bad start, but happy ending.
i started off the day badly. even before lesson started i was talking to erika about some stuff and well, i guess i reacted in a way i should never have. didnt even know teacher came in -.- and teacher was kinda shocked to see me like that. but i guess, it's better letting it out at times (:
cos for the rest of the day, i was smiling. vonnie and kaka made me laugh alot today. saw a side of daryl i never knew existed, and wenliang was a s usual, negative about his result thinking he wont be able to enter a local uni blah blah. kns. asking for scolding nia. i always have to nag at him liek a mother sio o.O meh meh.
and i screwed up the BA test. stupid lahhhh, thought im darn smart to realise a careless left out portion. then after that, after i handed in then i realised another mistake -.- darn pissed off. among my midsem papers, i did the worse for BA. NOT AGAIN OKAY. this friggin paper weighs a 15% of my total sem grade. FARK.
but im glad WL managed to remember the whole of chapter 9 that i summarized into 4 sentences based on what i taught him ytd! :D
but the stupid test ended only at liek 8.30pm. darn late. went for dinner at tamp mall with wenliang, xinyan, and daryl and only reached home at like 11.20pm. RAWR. darn tired. I HATE TESTS IN LECTURE THEATRES! DAMN UNCOMFORTABLE GRRR.
i should be off to start to edit wenliang's trial presentation and to do OBBBBBBBBB!!! :/
theres a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. but the rainbow will only come after a storm.
im walking thereeeee~ (:
and TMR FIRST DRIVING LESSON ARGH IM DARN EXCITED OVER IT!!! AND I HAVENT GONE TO TAKE MY PAYCHEQUE COS STUPID TEST ENDED SO LATE TODAY ARGHHHHHH.
im so excited over my driving tmr that my whole class knows about it. LOL.
i told of my glory at 11:47 pm
i remember my 2009 resolution, was to make a difference.
ive not watched too many blonde-turned-profession movies.
it's fact,
it's an aim,
and it's a dream i have.
it's no longer a dream, cos it's coming true. (:
BA TEST LAHHHHHHH DIE I HAVENT MEMORIZED FORMATTTT and it's already 2am. darn.
i told of my glory at 1:53 am
*MY BEST DOWNLINE EVER* says:
i rmb u told me u could only choose 2 from 3 priorities in life: work, r/s, sch. u chose r/s n sch, so forgo ve for a while. u can rethink ur priorities, either choose work n sch, or change 'r/s' to 'friends'.
thank you for guiding me back to light my friend (:
it's all thanks to you.
i changed someone's life.
now, someone has also just changed my life.
thank God for these friends brought to me, and for everything that has happened.. (:
i told of my glory at 12:57 am
i know that, with their support,
i have not left someone i LOVED.
i have to face up to the fact that theres a difference in the love i can show to a brother and the love i show to someone special.
both of us are just taking a break from a friendship gone too far.
it was wrong on my part too.
i was lost in direction and just did what my heart told me to do, not my rational mind.
maybe this will be good for me too.
i give you my word,
i'll contact you again only at the end of this week.
after i sort out my thoughts,
after i clear my mind,
and i'll still be a friend, hopefully. (:
i took only 1.5 hour this time. im strong after all (:
i told of my glory at 12:38 am
Sunday, 19 July 2009
friendship.
too big a word for me to understand..
i told of my glory at 11:44 pm
study session was great (: study friend made me laugh cos he cant differentiate between accrued expenses and expenses. LOL. made me want to go crazy explaining the difference.
test tmr evening alr!! :/
just now my dad took up my wallet and said to my mom "i cant believe her frens paid a thousand for this."
and my mom said "yea lo. id rather buy a handbag with that. so girl, who bought it for you, you havent told me?"
i made a choice to walk away into the kitchen.
i told of my glory at 8:47 pm
Saturday, 18 July 2009
On this day of your life, Huifang, we believe God wants you to know...
... that happiness has nothing to do with pleasure.
You feel pleasure when you want something and you get it. Or when you don't want something and you remove it. Pleasure is always relative. Happiness is absolute. Happiness is the understanding and acceptance of life as it is in this very moment as completely perfect, because every creation of God is perfect. The degree to which you do not accept life in all of the Divine forms is the degree to which you suffer.
i told of my glory at 10:40 am
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
i got a driving instructor already. now i need my PDL. gonna get it tmr morning before going to school. $25 for the stupid PDL. lol.
and now, i have to complete a 600 words speech for tmr's delivery, collate and correct english in comm skills project, and complete article analysis for ob project.
sucks to have so much work piled up.
and just when i wanna watch harry potter cos today someone just told me that theres edward cullen inside acting as cedric. darn handsome farkkk. (:
bought ftt book today. chim shit inside sio. LOL.
i told of my glory at 9:26 pm
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
btt was great. i passed (: from what i can remember, i only got one wrong. which is the stupid sign which has a Y thingy in it. zz. darn. and things to take note for people who will be taking license soon to come:
1. DONT choose a timeslot for your BTT to be after 5pm. because the stupid PDL (provisional license driving) application counter closes at 5pm -.- even though i passed my btt today i couldnt apply for a PDL immediately, MUCH TO MY DISAPPOINTMENT. and i went home sadly only with a result slip which said "PASSED". just because my btt slot was 5.40pm. ZZZ.
2. go take the btt with strong nails. the lsc screen kinda sucks and when you use your finger to touch the touch screen, it doesnt really react. only when you use your nail then it works 100% well. darn funny thing to happen.
3. the aircon in the test room is damn cold despite the door being left open. so people who hate the cold, bring along a jacket. cos i was practically freezing just now and couldnt stop fidgeting.
so definitely all thanks to winston for lending me his account for the online simulator test giving me chances to practice and thus passing safely. whew~ it was an expected yet scary pass.
and well, i met someone i didnt didnt didnt expect to meet at all. i met wenbin. apparently, he saw me, followed me up until level 2, then realised i was taking the same timeslot btt as him. and we had a chat while waiting for chance to enter the room (: he passed too. haha.
btt is just the first step to my license. driving lessons are up next. gonna call mr peck chin huat tmr. (:
im glad life's taking a slight turn for the good.
but somethings are still missing, and i'll make it whole again, cos i know i can.
i told of my glory at 11:52 pm
Monday, 13 July 2009
ba interview today.
didnt want to go for it. but i got convinced by the benefits.
and i got in to bsc already.
kinda glad about it. at least i wont graduate with a pretty cert w/out anything else.
and kaka does wonders. she cured me of my splitting headache in csa class today that had been there since ytd evening.
thank God for a friends like kaka, von, ah ren and wenliang for this support during this period of time.
and, time to bury myself in my studies for the time being, since i dont have a choice..
i told of my glory at 11:06 pm
Sunday, 12 July 2009
just watched a movie on my laptop.
it's the tough things they went through that make them cherish the relationship more.
it's about choices.
and it's about making decisions.
it's the process that creates the outcome.
yet when i want something so much,
i will do something drastic, in a desperate attempt.
if dating a vampire means love forever,
i'll want to date one.
i told of my glory at 10:24 pm
i almost got into an accident today just at the bottom of my block. just when i left my house.
lol.
my mom was behind me and she almost screamed.
had lunch at a new place id never been to before, and my mom told me i could come with 'someone'. yes, she quoted a name. cos ive told her b4 that this person can drive.
but i just kept quiet cos i didnt know how to answer her.
funny how some things happen at times.
i want to watch harry potter. but i think reality's fighting against me.
having a splitting headache now.
but well, this nice song.
esp the chorus. (which is in bold)
Do you hear me,
I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I hear your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
Oooohhhh
They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I wait for you I promise you, I will
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fell the air
I put a flower in your hair
And though the breeze is through trees ???
Move so pretty you're all I see
Let the world keep spinning round
You hold me right here right now
I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday
Ooohh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ooooh ooooh oooh oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
lol. i find myself laughing at these lyrics.
cos it's.
weird for me.
i told of my glory at 9:08 pm
for the first time since ive got to know you,
im feeling fear in myself.
i told of my glory at 3:28 am
Saturday, 11 July 2009
but of cos, im having the time of my life.
and why should you even bother,
i made this choice.
made me believe in so many things.
i dont even ask for anything else from you.
but somehow this friendship isnt even alive at this moment.
whats the point behind all this worry in me.
i should probably just concentrate on my project rather than getting distracted.
maybe the only active reader to this wasted space now is yvonne.
hi yvonne, doing good yes?
ob project and econs project okay.
i told of my glory at 11:55 pm
i skipped ba lecture today, and OB consultation went great today cos project's in the right direction yo. miss tay's a great teacher..
project till 7pm, then watch friday the thirteenth with darren in project room, scared our butts off -.- and left only when the librarian came to off the lights LOL. :/
and yes, im tired. kbox later at marina sq. hope things go well.
and i'll stop brooding over projects for a moment..
and, i dont wanna be your source of stress or tiredness.
i just want to be someone you can turn to no matter what happens,
cos whether rain or shine, i just want you to know that i'll still be standing by your side supporting you, no matter what your choice is..
because thats what you told me, thats what friends are for..
i told of my glory at 12:27 am
Thursday, 9 July 2009
tiring day today.
comm skills tutorial, ate my long-desired grill dory fillet from mensa, skipped OB lecture just to do OB project, and i spent a total of like approx 5 hours on it today. slightly before 4pm, until 9pm.
group left at like 7pm after theyd done their part. but as usual, huifang do the collating and compilation, crudely yet affectionately known as kio sai. HAHAHAH. joking yo ;D but stayed back in the library to finish up my work with wenliang till the library closed at 9pm and we went down to some bench at biz block to finish up his work in another 10 minutes.
and of cos, came home slightly later.
damn. project deadlines are driving us all CRAZY :X
OB consultation tmr. i shall be skipping BA lecture to complete OB report.. oh well.
and im kinda feeling like something in my life is missing.. hmm..
i think.. (:
i told of my glory at 10:41 pm
Wednesday, 8 July 2009
11.20pm now, ive just completed my csa website layout after 2 weeks of struggling with it. but mind you, layout only. going to start on the real thing tmr..
life's taking a drastic turn for me.
cos what i thought was my everything, is turning somewhere else.
and my day today was horrible. unproductive 3 hours break.
and we had our last APEL lesson with mrs lee today at lt22. somehow or other i always felt she's a very giving teacher. she's always giving in my class' absurd requests like "can we sleep in this classroom?", "'cher, can help us take class picture?", "'cher, this youtube video boring. i got better one. charice pempengo. hear b4? i open okay. 'cher, lend me ur com".
my class isnt a terror. we're just hyperactive by nature. and by far, she's the only teacher who hasnt blown her top at us before (besides binggo). and never once has she not smiled at us. she's my class' care person and only takes us for APEL class (which no one bothers about cos APEL is just worth one credit unit). but yet, she takes the effort to check up on our mid-sems scores and actually remind us about it today while she took attendance. she commended me for "doing very well". but of cos, it wasnt cos she commended me that id say she's good. she even knows who failed ONE single quiz in any module.
i salute her for this, really.
how many poly tutors would actually take the effort to check up ur grades and remind about which module youre not doing well in, even though they only see you one hour each week?
but mrs lee is one such tutor.
and the sweetest thing, really. i was peeking over at her class register book curiously trying to look at inividual pictures when i saw scribblings over each individual's picture. of cos, i asked her what those were. and know what, she said "oh, thats what you all said you all wanna be in future. remember, the first APEL lesson?"
how many teachers wont laugh at her students' innocent dreams in life?
and how many teachers take the effort to write down what her student's dreams in life are?
and how many teachers would give their students PERSONALISED career advice, rather than just general advice?
she took the effort to write those things down, and she could remember so many small details about us.
id say, our class has taken her granted all this while.
as the saying always goes, you only know how important it is after it's gone.
of cos, mrs lee isnt leaving the school. but no more weekly lessons with her? sounds horrible.
she also said, that when students move on to year 2 and 3, they look to their APEL 2 and APEL 3 tutors for career advice or when they need help. i told her that i would look for her. cos i personally felt that, she as a tutor, has done so much, so so so much for our class, and no one ever knew, cos she was always silently doing everything for us.
11.35pm now. my M key on my keyboard popped out just now. i dont know how and why.
oh yea, was feeling darn terrible during econs tutorial just now. couldnt keep my eyes opened. ended up closing my eyes and answering teacher's questions. mind awake, body asleep.
and im supposed to be off to do my OB report. due for consultation in 2 days time. pamela can sacrifice sleeptime or dramas. i have to sacrifice sleeptime for rushing projects.
finally group pic for csa is up. all thanks to winston for his editting.
i shall go do OB.
so,
whatve i done wrong?
does he not know how to tell me, or does he not want to tell me?
or is it just me?
and friends who've asked if im okay, im okay. i just need more sleep, and ive to be less distracted and stop thinking of non-studies stuff, while he's smiling at the other end of my world..
i told of my glory at 11:17 pm
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
ba tutorial? csa lecture? thats all today. and project and study and project.
i wonder what im doing with my life sometimes.
darren reckons i'll get into the director's honour list with my current results. but i dont even have the confidence to so. belief is there, but doubts hovering around. picture that.. thats how im feeling. lol. not doing all so well in projects and im screwing my own life up trying so hard to fit everything in.
and yet everyone's expectations of me have never seemed to go down while i start to screw things up.
cmon people, im still human. even a genius is a human.
im not even close a genius, what else do you expect me to do?
*AFK for sometime.
went off to do comm skills. now is 12.01am and im finally done. collation and all. argh. i feel very worn out.
i remember how i told xinyi before, back then. i attached two of her appointments.
the difference between appointment 1 and appointment 2, was that i went for appointment 1 in no glory and no support, and i went for appointment 2 in glory and full force support. i remember mr mengwee shook my hand before i went for appointment 2, and with my girls standing with me at the bus stop telling me i can do it.
i came back from appointment 1 not closing anything, and not having any pending sales.
i came back from appointment 2 closing water, pending cal plus or calstar even.
that made the whole world of difference.
cos there was encouragement, support, trust and faith that i earned. that i earned through effort and tears.
but now, it all comes emptyhanded and things are getting a little topsy turvy.
tmr i have to rush:
- OB article evaluation
- econs article points collation
- econs and OB notes
how is that possible within a 3 hour break that i have?
i shall forgo.. some things, in return for these, and good results.
i know its worth it (:
there is, no alternative.
because i can only study hard since i know studying smart doesnt seem to work for me..
whats wrong? i never can find out.
and let me tell you a secret.. huifang's punctuality has been great this week. okay fine, two days only, but it's good for me you know -.- considering i always reach school on time or slightly later. i took the same bus as wenliang this morning and he was like O.O waaaa~
oh yea, yifang got quarantined for suspected swine flu case eh? :/ i wonder whats gonna happen to her and all of us :/ kinda worried for a moment.. or rather, worried since we saw her text msg. :xxxx i dont wanna get swine fluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
but in the meantime, i shall go catch some sleep, though i feel darn awake and my eyes are closing -.-
this keeps going over and over in my mind
突然间 有一天 巧合的遇见你
感觉到 你已偷走我的心
本来我不太相信
爱情的魔力
不知天 不知地 我只知道你
我的快乐是和你在一起
oh let's not waste the time
享受爱的甜蜜
i think he doesnt even miss me at all. it's a harmless yet never-can-be-confirmed assumption.
but i'll be happy as long as he's happy.
cos i dont even know if his heart is still here when he talks to me.
bit stupid? very..
i told of my glory at 10:06 pm
Monday, 6 July 2009
im looking forward to next week tuesday, 14th july.
from today, it's 8 more days to my basic theory test. i cannot imagine myself driving, seriously. but it sounds like fun, considering that zhenwen could brag that weien has been picking her up from places and sending her home. lol. sounds soooo convenient. oh well. please dont remind me about the fact that i dont have a car yet even if i get a license. HAHA. okay i shall get 4.0 for sem 1, then probably my dad will buy me car. (yea right man, in my dreams)
today in school was like.. boredom. zz. only entertainment was the repetition of yesterday night's jokes during the break today.
and oh yea, csa tutor said ive planned ahead after seeing my storyboard in class today. apparently, i need not show the details yet, a rough sketch or idea would suffice. but i dont know why i didnt feel that all happy even though i guess i laid the foundations for my team's project well.
idk where my mind and heart was for the rest of the day either. planned to study econs today but ended up going home to sleep. no spare brain power to.
even the timeout chocolate i ate during econs lecture tasted like cardboard in tasteless chocolate. the water i just drank tastes like.... something negative. zz.
and wenliang said i looked very very tired during break today.
theres a reason for everything to happen.
and yet, some reasons can never be found.
need power to guide me, but can i turn to......?
i can spend all my time and all my brain power thinking hard, trying my best to figure out whats all that about, but to no avail, seriously.
i guess the reason will just come to dawn one day.
and well, im glad erika knows how i feel.
it feels like, ive found a sister to share my woes with.. lol.
and well, with people like ESP ESP yvonne, pamela, and somemore others like yifang, haseenah etc.. im really glad (:
and if kx tries to annoy me one more time by telling me she feels that everyone has no troubles at all, i will slap her. seriously.
study
tmr from after project till evening. finally studyyyyy..
and csa group phototaking tmr too. excited over it (:
my heart will love you
my heart will need you
my love will light the sky above
my heart will love you
my heart will need you
my love will light the sky above
有人说 他没有爱情就不能活
这世界恋爱的人很多
每份爱情 有悲哀有快乐
我只想找一个人好好的爱我
陪著我 困难一起度过
我的世界里 有温暖的爱火
突然间 有一天 巧合的遇见你
感觉到 你已偷走我的心
本来我不太相信
爱情的魔力
不知天 不知地 我只知道你
我的快乐是和你在一起
oh let's not waste the time
享受爱的甜蜜
my heart will love you
my heart will need you
my love will light the sky above
my heart will love you
my heart will need you
my love will light the sky above
突然间 有一天 巧合的遇见你
感觉到 你已偷走我的心
本来我不太相信
爱情的魔力
不知天 不知地 我只知道你
我的快乐是和你在一起
oh let's not waste the time.
享受爱的甜蜜
my heart will love you
my heart will need you
my love will light the sky above
my heart will love you
my heart will need you
my love will light the sky above
i told of my glory at 11:17 pm
tired. went out today evening to meet some of my classmates. opportunity cost? time used to do project. am still wondering how to make my webpage look more complete. i love my group. it's not their fault. im the one who left this to the last minute.
due tmr? argh.
thank god tmr's csa lesson is 12pm. i have up to 12pm to finish up what i ought to.
but dry of ideas already. lol.
it must be cos im tired alr, thats why my brain cant function properly -.-
so yea just now was watching ice age 3. highly hilarious i tell you. but i like the cinema there. the seats and leg space there is wooooohoooo~ and yea, yvonne, ebrahim, yifang, xinyan, haseenah and i were there and we went to macs after that to meet fishy and yf's 2 friends. took 88 with yf's two friends back after that. lol. the two guys damn funny. kept entertaining me, esp MF. idk how to spell his name lar. but i took 88 with them rather than the usual 58 id take, and turns out 88 is so much faster. lol.
have been late home for a couple of days already. i should stop doing that.
whether isit cos ive been studying out, or cos ive been playing out.
shouldnt be doing this to my poor body. argh.
i think my post today sounds dead. cos let me tell you, im feeling darn dead now.
till tmr..
i think.. i should just study econs after school tmr. heck the catching up in OB i gotta do. cos i really feel like ive got no excess energy to spare.
im still missing someone before i sleep.
something's STILL not complete in my life.
fight..
i told of my glory at 1:26 am
Saturday, 4 July 2009
today was.. MEH MEH.. happy day ;D
did csa project from the time i woke up until 3pm, went to meet zihui at orchard, went to shop shop, finally bought my new NF shorts zz. ;D then went to city hall to meet sec 4 gang yo (: meetup for dinner, followed by ice cream at ben & jerrys. whees~
saw mr mengwee with his friend there. WELL~ what a coincidence. but i only said hi to him. well. hahahha.
boring day i guess. but at least i managed to meet up with them ;D
CLASS OUTING TMR :DDD YAY!!!
i told of my glory at 10:53 pm
yeaaa all results are out. 34.5/40 for organisational behaviour. yea lar, distinction grade. but considering that out of the whole course so many people have done so well, only top 5% awarded distinction so i doubt i'll be awarded a distinction for this. just an A. lol. good enough though (: and again, i didnt top the class. HAHA. damn it. by one mark again. arghhhhh~ negative for a mo!
overall gpa is a 3.7 because i got Z, Z, B+, B+, B+. aiyah. Z or A, whatever. both also worth 4.0 grade points. but too bad, this is just the mid sems. HAHA. not final results. still have a 50% end of sem exams and projects to add on to get an overall grade. i just hope i dont screw up after having such a great start :/
and anyways, i just came home lo. argh. school ended at 1pm. but chiong-ed 3 projects before i could start my own studying at 5.30pm -.- already was half asleep. and me and darren were freezing in the project room. make a mental note- bring blazer/ jacket next time when i know im staying back to study in library. and freaking hell the whole level 6 only had like 5 people!? damn like a ghost town. walk go toilet also scared -.- but no choice. LOL. and i accidentally slammed the door and made darren jump, like REALLY jump.. :/ went to tampines for cafe cartel again ;D haha. the chicken gets kinda boring when ive just eaten it last week and eat it again today. and omg i swear im gonna eat the cheesecake the next time i visit cartel. stupid darren said "later then order" and in the end, we see them serve one slice by once slice until all gone. darren that kookoo. LOL!
and anyways, a couple of classmates were getting pretty negative over their results. but well, nag here for one more time..
huifang puts in 200% effort to make up for lack of IQ compared to smart people like haseenah and pam. and i know this 200% effort has given me returns- my gpa of 3.7 this mid-sem. to me, studying is a passion. because only with love, then can miracles happen. i want to create a miracle for myself. i want to bring myself to soar higher than my limits. the limit isnt the sky. it's whatever that lies beyond the sky. even if i fall one day, i know i will have done my best to fly up as high as possible, and have done myself no injustice.
getting not-as-good-as-you-wanted results this mid-sem may make you feel deterred for a mo. but dont forget, everyone's still fighting for that same goal- to get into the director's list. you arent further from the goal if you havent done well. youve just pushed urself backwards if youre negative of it. we're all still working on the rest of the 80% of the semester results, and this makes no difference between you and i. mine is just a good start, but we'll all have a pretty ending.
when youre negative, youre pessimistic, you still have a 80% to conquer. when youre thinking positive like me, we're positive, we still have a 80% to conquer too. so whats the difference between you and i, no physical difference. we're all human. but the difference lies in this thing called the mindset. the mindset is something so powerful that it's beyond what your mind can imagine.
is it difficult to get over your current results and work harder?
is it easy to get over your current results and work harder?
who knows? whats easy and whats difficult?
life's never easy. but then again, how difficult is difficult? we do not know. it's all up to, you to decide for yourself. do you think for your mind, or do you let your mind think for you?
for now, my only worry is that i'll probably get complacent and screw up all my end of sems. but no, i should have worries. cos i know, i have high self-evaluation. HAHA. BHB-ness. but well, i know i can. i know i can. i know i can.
if i cant, whos gonna help me do it? so i believe i can (:
tmr's a day of relaxation. gonna meet zihui in the afternoon for some shopping and glenn and the rest in the evening for dinner (:
i know i earned this weekend. :D
and, something random.
bro i miss you already! ):
GOT MISS ME ANOTTTTTTT ;D
i told of my glory at 12:12 am
Thursday, 2 July 2009
huifang is happy today cos 1. teacher praised huifang's work in class, and 2. huifang's nice hair colour matches her chio wallet and ugly handphone.
yeaaa, first time i got praised by miss sherrie lee okay :/ she photocopied my report intro done in class ytd and showed the class as a guide to a "good piece of student work" as what she said. omg~ huifang has a dominantly-nAch character. and is happy when people praise her. that intro was worth 9/10 okayyyy ;D but another side of the story is that i spent too much effort doing intro that i didnt do much for my findings, which is the 2nd part of the report. HAHAHAHA. but who cares. LOL..
and yea, went to get my hair dyes at toni and guy's at east coast road. darn tough journey there. HAHA. but yea, went there and met lois' friend candy who dyed and highlighted my hair for me. chio colour. seemed liek a murder took place in my toilet when i came home and washed my hair. haha. but well, finally no black roots showing okayyyyyyy :/
tmr OB results, arh fuck.
someone is being an unfeeling git.
but i try to forget it. life goes on. or rather, life has to go on. stupid darren changed study date to fridays
its ur own fault this friendship has to come to such an ending. last time was last time. dont talk to me about the past when youre the one who has changed to being such a bastard. dont come back and apologize all the wrong youve done. it has got nothing to do with me. those are the people you harmed. im still living. even though ive been pushed back very much because of the things youve done to those around me, it dont stand in my way.
you dont determine my future, and you dont determine how i feel about anything.
youre no longer that elder brother i used to look up to.
back then the trust i had in you was blind trust that wasnt anything true to a reason. you taught me to open my eyes and shut my heart when learning to trust another person. the past is the past. whats done cannot be undone.
i know youre reading this.
but let me tell you, i already dont care what you think.
hope is faith holding out its hand in the darkness.
do you choose to grasp that hand?
i told of my glory at 10:29 pm
Wednesday, 1 July 2009
im so darn happy today ;DDD
1. i got my first ever distinction in poly. for econs! ;D 90/100. lost to top in class by one markkk. farkkkkkk~ lol! but nevertheless, im happy with my result ;D distinction okay. omg. and im also super happy cos erika also did well, 80 marks! and vonnie, we'll all mug hard for end-sems yea, we all enter distinction list together~ liek that then fun! (:
and OB this friday, i hope i get a distinction too? cos according to vbus, alot of people did well! arghhhh!!
2. WE CAMWHORED IN THE LIBRARY TODAY!! 100 over pictures LOL. hah. like REALLY crazy camwhoring. all yifangfang's fault lol. she came over to our room and SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!~ non-stop alr. haha! all damn unglam but damn cute pictures lah~ whee~ i got damn funny classmates who are as FUNLOVING as can be :D
3. i went to watch transformers 2 after school. chiong-ed down to amk hub to meet winston and jt. freezing cold lar walao, i should have brought my jacket. but srsly, idk which part of the house is my jacket at. the last time i saw it was the time i came back from genting. :/ but anyways, thats beside the main point. winston was nice enough to share w me his jackettttt ;D whee~ but thats also not main point! HHA. main point was the movie! DARN GOOD YO! the good-side transformers DAMN CUTE LAH! omg~ and the cars all damn chio sio. ahh, i rmbr, the part about Bee crying and emo-ing cos Sam was going to college and couldnt bring him along. transformers have feelings? then omg transformers CRY??! WTF!!! but it was hilarious!! HHA. but i was kinda lost at some points cos i couldnt differentiate between who was good and who was bad HAHA..
oh yea, just remembered, during the 1 hour break at 3-4pm right, damn funny. me and wenliang were damn stressed out. cos haseenah lah! never tell us earlier that her excel got problem printing out cos her tables are so BIG that they take up 7 pages per sheet -.- scary. in the end, within that last hour of break we chiong-ed lo, resize, refit, correct, shift, blah blah. wa. i was quite relaxed, just abit gan jiong. but when xinyan and haseenah went to look for course manager, wenliang changed seat to the left of me, suddenly he told me "huifang.. abit stress leh. how come we helping her but we stress ah.. you stress anot?" i was liek ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh TRUE HOR! wa, then suddenly feel stressed alr. AHAH. damn funny. stupid wenliang make me gan jiong. but lucky at least theres him to alternate with me so at least i dont have to keep click here and there non-stop. PHEW! friend support yo ;D cos the whole atmosphere at the table whr me and wenliang were at was.... !!!!!!!!! the rest of the class was either sleeping or chatting away at the next table lah! MEH MEH. in the end me and wenliang spent that one hour editting haseenah's excel for her. the whole one hour. omg. lol.
so yea (: tired but happy today.
i cant explain the kind of happiness that i feel when im with my friends. esp like really trusted besties yo ;D
but i think recently ive become abit evil. keep di siao-ing people esp those closed ones. hahas.
for the fun and love i have for you guys alright (:
huifang can be a jealous freak at times, but it's cos i love you guys (: (: (:
so keep smiling, and keep shining! (:
cos huifang loves youuuu~ and
alright, another story. -ve things i just keep them small lah huh. cos srsly, i complain to darren till i dulan.
i dislike and i swear i really dislike people who say "i never study", get good results, and whats worse if the person then spill the beans on themselves saying they studied this this this w/out realising. -.- funny yo? i thought this only happened in jc. i guess im wrong. it's just human nature.
im not a sore loser or anything, and im not saying anything wrong. because srsly, why not admit you put in the hard work for it?
i can say out loud i got distinction cos i admit i worked hard and fought hard for it.
if you work hard, then act like you never, sorry, dont ask me for help in future.
i dont help fake people.
thats me. love or hate, up to you. (:
i told of my glory at 11:26 pm