Monday, 30 April 2007
our pics of today- thanks to jessly's handphone cam =D
presenting to u the vampires of NYCO!! left- jessly. right- kok teng. HA!
me n heidi!! :)))
me n sun yu!! =D
derek n me. must-know-to-cherish-me fren! :)))
ming kwang n me. my CUTEST n MOST CHARMING fren!! =D
taken by jessly. ming kwang's side view x)
do, do sharp n mi. (not de re mi cos ming kwang's nt tt tall. lol)
wow, weijian's mouth is big :D
n me, wahahas. taken by simon at the bus stop aftr prac. LOL.
random shyt =D
tts all for today :)))))
no pics of me n DOINK DOINK. cos we were seperated today. awwww. it's ok la i wont post here as me n DOINK DOINK anw :ppp
i told of my glory at 1:24 pm
BOO! GREAT DAY TODAY!! =D
early in the morn went to sch for our syf rehearsal at SCH. booo. wahahass. tcher treated us to pizza. shared one with heidi n derek x) then ooh lala,
JOKE OF TODAY:
kaiwen came to sch ltr, so when he came alot of us were eating pizza alr. then I DUNO WAD WAS GG ON IN HIS MIND so he took one box n happily began eating. then somehow or wadevr, he went to the grp of ppl sitting at the staircase n told them, "eh canot finish lei." WAD THE HELL. somehow, he thot tt each person one box LA! OH MY TIAN CAN?! how sotong can he get >.< some more he's like really DAMN BLUR de lo!! ARGHs. so ginna. lol. damn cute de la! he was alr on his 5th piece at tt time n so aftr tt 5th piece, he finally passed the rest of it to someone else. WAD THE HELL!!!!! then aftr tt can tel me "wahs, very full lei" WTH!! damn funny la him!!!! always can mk me laugh =D
ahhhs, n guo lao shi CHANGED MY PLACE!! YAY-NESS MAN!! was just lamenting to derek n complaining abt my place when we went out to buy drinks, then HOHOHO guo chgned my place at SCH during the rehearsal!! YAY!! but guess wad, im stil at 2nd cos xf sitting outside. he himself knows his pitching n such is not accurate, but he stil takes the first seat then tell me say wad stressed n all tt shyt. alamak. JUST LET ME SIT LO. i sit no probs at all ok?! sit 3 yrs alr XI GUAN LE so no stress lo! WALAO EHHH. but aiya, he himself knows lo. he asked me, then i jst tel him his yin always bu zhun lo, then heidi also say. but aiya, last 1o plus days hopefully i'll mk it to first seat le lo. CHIONGGGG~ but anyways, it was an improvement alr la.
then aiya, tt ding. go chgn huqin place. now canot c DOINK DOINK alr. arghss. sadded. :(((( so on the way thr n on the way back wasnt in same bus as DOINK DOINK either. sadd. but nvr mind la got derek n ming kwang to entertain me. well, now i know y junru said tt ming kwang's a nice guy. LOL. he's really nice la.
SO PPL, SAY ALL U WANT. ME BEING INVOLVED IN A SCANDAL WITH MING KWANG IS MY HONOUR :)))) HAPPINESS~
oops, darling's gonna b jealous alr. :ppp
oh no, he's ALREADY jealous. hahaa.
well, so back to school n left with the same ppl, mk, derek, sy. stupid DOINK DOINK ps me alr lo :(((( kuku. went off with his GOOD FREN. kuku nana. hahaa. but anyways, i was being nice luh, waved bye to idol!! LOLS. n WOW! today got ppl pei me tk bus!! LOL. happy :)))) hahaa. sun yu n simon. oops, i thot smth was gg on between them haha. but apparently she has someone else WHO LIVES OPPOSITE MY BLOCK AT THE SAME LEVEL AS ME. hahaaaaa. gonna find out who soon!! =D
n ppl,
EVER SEEN SOMEONE EAT MAC MAYONNAISE?! like i mean literally opening the packet n SLURPING it up??! OMG LA cos tts wad somebody did on the bus. MAYONNAISE EATERRRR. eeee lols. =D tt kuku actually thinks mayonnaise is delicious eh. ha. WEIRDO. pecussion section got 2 weirdos now =D kelvin n simon >.< style="font-size:85%;">
sometimes being honest with ur feelings aint a bad thing. esp if the guy is someone who can handle it well. who can handle it in a way tt both parties feel happy. that particular person, somehow misunderstood my thots, thinking i liked him, but actually it was just pure admiration. but we have become frens. frens who at least care no matter how little the care is. n im glad it's this way. i nvr expected him to b so accepting. thanks lj, for being so accepting. im glad we're frens :))))))
no need to hide, cute =D n u idiot for goodness sake PAY ATTENTION. dun get scolded!! dun forever so like that de lei. make me worry abt u. u kuku nana. if u r stil like u were today, i can go bang the wall alr =.= dont b jealous alr la, alr told u tt we're JUST FRENS. n ok lo, good frens luh. dont look at my past with him if u dont want me to look at ur past with others alright? loves`
i told of my glory at 12:11 pm
ystd during prac, jessly sent me some pics cos i didnt off my bluetooth.
1st pic: taken by weijian, presenting to u ding lao shi. =.=
2nd pic: wahs. da gui -.-
3rd pic: our costume producer. =.=
4th pic:derek n kaili. kaili looking emo. -.-
5th pic: derek again. n kaili stil looking emo. =.=
ha. co prac = bluetooth time!!
`randomness~
i told of my glory at 9:30 am
Sunday, 29 April 2007
BOO!
had a great day today =D
co prac from 9am. wheees` reached sch n saw janice jia min n kelvin only. zzz. 8.55am alr lo. =.= nan de wo you yi tian zao dao!!
lols.
had rehearsal at 11am, nthg much lo. then went for lunch.
ahhhhs. lunched with derek, zijie, heidi, zican n zhi nan. arghs. sat at the wrong side of the table lo. stupid zj stil say he c him he lost appetite. booooo. WANT TO CHGN PLACE WITH ZJ!! wah sehs.
then today alot of funny things happen. first thing, v lame lame larhs, i said "derek, guo4 lai2, wo3 yao4 gen1 ni3 zuo4!" zuo4= sit NOT DO!! ALAMAK. then sunyu came n ask me zuo shen me luh! OMFT. hahaa.
second thing was the DOINK DOINK thing. hahaa makes me so tickled =pppp well u c, derek's trying to guess who is the mickey mouse on my hp representing. wheeees. so i told him it represents a person known as doink doink. all thanks to zijie who gave him tt kinda name =.= then he actually thinks it's kaiwen initially cos i say kaiwen looks like mickey mouse =D then he thinks doink doink is yuyang. though i duno y. hahaha. so he says i like doink doink = yuyang! LOL. but no, so he guessed tt guy who's always with kaiwen de. at tt time, we were at lt4. then i told him to ask him if he's doink doink anot lo, n he did! then tt guy was like so BLUR luh. cos derek actually asked him "r u doink doink?" LOL. heidi n i laughed til we almost died la!! derek the kuku nana =D then he decided tt yuyang was doink doink. hhaaa. then aftr the performance, i dcided to ga jiao him.
me-eh derek, u noe jst now i told u i wan go gao bai to doink doink today?
derek-ya.
me-actually.......
derek-wad thing?
me-doink doink is u lo. so im gonna gao bai now
derek-haha, no lo. doink doink is confirm not me one.
me-!!!!!!!! ARGHHHSss~
y didnt he fall for it?! lols. wanted to test his reaction ders. then aftr tt blah blahs blah, ended up in co room with wingyan, ming kwang, derek n samantha cos i wanted to tk my stuffs, then sam thought doink doink is ming kwang. YET AGAIN! ppl think tt me n mk have smth. WHY WHY WHY?! AIYOYO!! ming kwang again. =.= no wonder he wil jealous la. lols. so derek shall continue thinking who is doink doink. =D
oh n FREAKSHYT!! think janice heard me talking abt the doink doink thing n she went to tel lj. lols. think lj suspects smthg. trust zj to think of such an obvious name. hahaa. fr percussion? slowly think lo. LOL USE UR ULTRA EYESIGHT!! >.<
third funny thing, i think kelvin really looks like woodstock laaaaa! somemore he's short. lols.
hahahaa. so today's ny 3o years old celeb went gr8 i think. hhhaha. performance went ok for us, n my mom actually said he's cute, said tt luo jun GOT STYLE (idol, do u c this?), n blah blah. lols.hahaa. it was fun =D n OH YAHS, this game thing at the atrium, whr 2 ppl stand on the round round platform then attempt to hit the other person down. lols. kai wen lost to yu yang, n claron lost to yu yang. wahs. POWER sia. lols. n then thr was this 2 small boys, DAMN CUTE LA! they were like poking each other with the wad-do-u-call-tt-whack-thingy. lols. then like buay balance like tt but then ltr balance agn. hahaaa. damn cute! EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING AWAY AT THEM!! cute :)))))) i think they were up thr for like close to 1o minutes. hahha.
prac today was nth much though. only funny thing was when heidi, zj, me, kaiwen n yuyang were inside the storeroom. i was thr to tk my file only, but ended up heidi n zj were also thr, then heidi got so fascinated by the xylophone thing. lols. so she happily played it. then kaiwen n yuyang came in with kaiwen's instrument. wahs. NOISE!! ARGHs.... lols jkjk. anyways, kw came in to practice with yy. so in an enclosed area =.= zzz. then aftr a while sm1 else came in, the only person who was smart enough to on the fan. ha. think it was simon ifim not wrong. lols.
nice day we had today :))))
xiang hui dao guo qu
shi zhe bao ni zai huai li
.....
xiang kan ni kan de shi jie
xiang zai ni meng de hua mian
zhi yao kao zai yi qi jiu neng gan jue tian mi
xiang hui dao guo qu
shi zhe rang gu shi ji xu
zhi shao bu zai rang ni li wo er qu
fen san shi jian de zhu yi
zhe ci hui bao de geng jing
zhe yang wan liu bu zhi hai lai bu lai de ji
xiang hui dao guo qu
ahhhs, dun deny. u rly look cute in the co costume. tmr again!! =D im grateful for syf for thank goodness it's a chance. :))))
DOINK DOINK!! =D
loves ^-^
i told of my glory at 2:34 pm
Saturday, 28 April 2007
BOO! co today was nice =D
today when co ended, 3pm alr. zzz. cldnt go watch match lers, n anyways they lost :(((( ARGHs. so aftr co had ended, evry1 went to try their costumes. wahhs. seriously arhs, it's nice lo. =D wheeees. hang my costume on the music stand whahas :ppp then the kuku junyuan, i sit at my place making my bow, then suddenly he went "haha, nerd. nananana" n did this damn funny action. then i was like "???? huh?" n derek laughed =.= WTH!! junyuan abit gila. as wad derek said. hahaa. then he stil wad "hehe! mugger." n did this action like a damn mugger. shyat. laugh til pengs~ hahaa. n u noe wad, he said "last time secondary sch always do de. haha!" OMFT! hahaa. he's stil living in his sec sch days. so i went to him n "eheh, WEIRDO!" then kenna shoot back some duno wadever stuffs. lol. BIG JOKER la. =pp always c him so dao, didnt know he's tt funny =D nvr mind lahs, new fren lo! wahahahas. then arhs, zc wear the costume is funny de lo. he wear the top la, look like zombie fr the side. LOL. he tk kaiwen's tt duno-wassat-called gong-look-alike thingy n was like trying to hit it properly, n kw was looking at him then HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO FALL ASLEEP ALR LA! lols. this shows how... *ahems, pro zc was. kw wasnt the least entertained by him lol. but i said smth tt made him laugh though =D but forgot wad alr. some lame shyat lahs. when lame lame talk to lame lame = lame lame!! =D
zheng lao shi came today. conductor fr dunman. woohoo! his conducting very the got style one leis. wheeees. but pretty disappointed. :((((((( shant elaborate. lala. but anyways, ding was like damn happy today lahs. she stand bhind him n imitate his actions when he's conducting us lo. mk us laugh til wana pengs. think zheng lao shi thinks we're a bunch of crazy idiots laughing at nth! AHHAAHA. but anyways, shoulder hurt halfway thru. sian diaos can?! wth =.= but aiya, since im at co, jian chi dao di laaa!!
oh n ALAMAK can?! so many ppl r asking whether im tgt with K. oh no. NO! wad the hell. ARGHs~ one month ago i'd hv been more than happy to b with him. but now i think it's just frens de lo. well, mayb better than frens, good frens. good frens. well, it just happens tt we share this bond not evry1 has :))) so he's obliged to tk better care of me. =D but oh no luhs, howd it bcm tt so many ppl think im with him.
me-"in co i got scandal u think is with who.?"
any person-"____ (K) lo."
ARGHs. no wonder he's jealous =D
BUT we're GOOD FRENS ONLY!!!
oh well, mayb last time.. almost... but.. u noe.. that's the past... n mayb it's just me n tt obligation... though obligation says he... well.. who knows.. arghs.. CRAP la.. tt was all in the past. we're purely good frens now :)))))
sparks flew! oh shyat in co room somemore. oh my gosh u look so cute in the costume!!
saw me coming n ducked away? but i stil saw u =D
sometimes i think guys with big eyes r really cute too. it's the sparks u send flying.
ur sense of humour is so attractive too :)))))
ur laughter, one simple wink unseen by others, n the mini u =D
oh my gosh, n i find myself loving u more each day.
as co pulls us closer somehow.
13 days. CHIONG!!
for goodness sake luh, unglam wad, just PLAY with feeling n action! i can c ur improvement alr =D
my frens say u're cute. awwwww. love u lots lots~
我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你
tmr is the day! happy birthday to nyjc. OMG LA lame lame again!! wheeees~ i love my darling =D
oh n seeing my 2nd post ystd, SUSPENDING CYMBALS R LINKED TO KAI WEN N JUN YUAN!! =D
he's got style, but he's.... short. :ppp
i told of my glory at 11:12 am
Friday, 27 April 2007
SHAN HU HAI HAS SUSPENDING CYMBALS AT THE END! OMG I LOVE SUSPENDING CYMBALS LAAAAAAA!!
i carried the suspending cymbals down today =D
WHEEEEEEEES~
i love suspending cymbals.
TOTALLY RAWK!
<33s
recalling wad happened in class. the moment i passed my folder of 23 admin stuffs to janelle, the newly-elected ct rep. i felt... like i lost smth alr. it's not tt i dont want to give up my post of ct rep. i'll willingly give it now tt im in the house exco. but it's the sense of belonging i felt in this class. the feeling of leading, yet following at the same time, the class being so cooperative regardless of wad matters.
congrats to janelle n ivy, newly elected ct n vice-ct reps.
n im praying hard for my captain/vice-captain position.
temporary class comm up. WORK HARD EVRY1!!
today i self-proclaim officially pass on the class to janelle n ivy, at the moment tt i passed the class folder to janelle.
jiayou all.
it ended on a peaceful note.
i told of my glory at 2:27 pm
decided to post some pics =D
presenting. this tiny mickey mouse keychain. ADORABLE! the mickey mouse look so short n chubby. lols.
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n i simply love this giraffe of mine :D
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he's looking pretty kuku in this pic =D
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lameshyt. =.=
i told of my glory at 10:12 am
BOO! co lunchtime performance today!! WHEESs~ glad my classmates came to support us =D chris mummy, lawrence, chloe, sher etc etc. thanks all for coming down!! gave me great encouragement luh! =D
so today's performance, i think was quite ok, but da gui got one part sm1 come in at wrong speed n messed up tt particular bar. zzz. then myself, i think i actually did evrything well, other than one plucking part in da gui, i played the last note slightly ltr in one of the middle bars. cos my finger was hurting like WTH n i jst cldnt do it la!! ARGHs~ stupid xiang feng stil turn n c me can. wtf. one note jiu abit sian diao, but NVR MIND! PIA! the rest of the song was WOOHOO! the 321216 part was WOOHOO! I DID IT TODAY!! hahaa. n they actually told me im like so pro can?! BREATHE! MOVEMENT!! WAHAHAHASSs!! n alot of my frens actually gave me the thumbs-up, not for me but for nyco. even miic says da gui was nice. =D guess they didnt catch the minor mistake. :ppppp i really pray hard nth goes wrong fr today onwards!! tmr dunman high conductor's special guest appearance =D wheees~ i hope i'll get a chance to prove myself n get my deserved credit. :ppp (shhh. no one saw this.)
then thr were also 2 other songs, the ruan duet n canon in d. i think canon not tt good leis. we were like making weird faces bhind alr luhs. off tune n blahs, unfamiliarity with song structure even. wth =.= lol. dun mian qiang if canot luh -.- but the qin hu tt ming kwang played sounded CUTE la! OMFT CAN?! damn cute sound!! lol.
then aftr tt jiu go back to co room le. alamak FUNNY!! heidi tk ming kwang's qin hu n gao hu, i tk heidi, xiang feng's n my own erhu. bcm an octopus =.= zzz. then kai wen n tt other perc guy were like walking empty handed aftr they helped to brng the big drum up the stairs, so kai wen tk my erhu n tt guy tk heidi's erhu n i tk xf's so HOHOHO! im smart =D hahaa. n i think kw really damn blurr de lo. at first he wanted to tk xf's erhu fr me. but i was holding onto it n he turned the handle = off tune =.= zzzzzz. heidi laugh til wan pengs~ then he was stil so oblivious to wad she was laughing at luh!! ......... -.-
but the sad part comes, gz n dance have gotten silver. they're so disappointed. tears, seeing their own efforts go down the drain cos they've missed the gold. im really worried abt co.
u know wad, im happy today. some of my frens do agree with me tt u're cute. but so many of them actually comment on ur height. arghs. it doesnt matter to me of cos. hear until xi guan alr. sm1 even agreed with me tt u look like........ !! YAY im like damn happy luhs, of cos u alr know. lol. but. im happy today!! oops, seems like luojun missed a chance to notice us today =ppp but of cos, he's BUSY with his own stuffs. LOL. we wont let him know :))))))
*a hint for luojun, if u do ever read this- count the days back n u'll know wad event it was on tt day. when u know wad event it was, then u'll noe who it is alr cos it's SO obvious. =D
34 days n messing on.
我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你
sing again!! =D
i sang with him today cos my voice is really back!! =D
did smth larm~
Your Birthdate: August 23 |
 You're not good at any one thing, and that's the problem. You're good at so much - you never know what to do. Change is in your blood, and you don't stick to much for long. You are destined for a life of travel and fun. Your strength: Your likeability Your weakness: You never feel satisfied Your power color: Bright yellow Your power symbol: Asterisk Your power month: May |
hmms. some truth, some uhhhhs. well u get the flow.
tmr econs till 12.3o, 12.3o chiong to co prac, 2 chiong to toa payoh sports hall for tt competition. GAH. gotta go cos mr yeo says to go have a feel of inter-college events. lols.
*HUIfang is starting to spend alot of $$$ at one go on her WANTS!! ooooh.
PPL WHO OWE ME! PAY UP LA! I WANT TO BUY LOTSA STUFFS!
spent 25 bucks at j8 within half an hour. LOL.
darling dun nag at me!
i told of my glory at 9:54 am
Thursday, 26 April 2007
BOO!
i realised. out of 10 posts, the frequency of co being mentioned is 9.9.
co is alr part of my life, or rather, it has always been.
co gave me the sense of satisfaction always, in the past.
yet now, it gives me stress.
freakshit.
oh n anyway, im surprised im so full of smiles today. i really tried my best to smile this morn. but the rest of the day went well.
ok so co today agn. well, so lt4 agn. n the dance ppl came aftr they'd came back fr their syf, n ding got pretty irritated with them cos they made quite some noise. prac was quite boring until da gui, much more awake cos of various reasons =D wadever the reasons were :)))) well. then got the news tt gz got a silver. very disappointing. ding says its cos of their drummer. i hope nth will happen on our syf day. cos the perc tcher praised us alot today. ding also praised us. we're at gold if we maintain, n on our way to GWH. dance syf results to b out tmr. left with choir, co n band. hmms. n was moving the pai gu fr the lift back to co room with heidi cos the rain was ARGHs. strong n windy. n then heidi supposed to protect the pai gu luhs. lol. saw lester the way he practically jumped on the bass drum when the rain suddenly started splashing in directly at the whole bass drum. hahaa. but stupid S tk it away fr us jst when we're abt to reach co room! ARGHs. mk it seem like me n heidi nvr help lei. baddieee. overall co structure onstage chgned today. closer now, but not a good view =.= sadded. n zj's mouth is so big tt heidi's beginning to know stuffs she nvr knew abt. GAH. shldnt have let zj know ANYTHING abt it. but :((( i nvr say anything. only the person, n he can mk smart guesses :S
oh n 23 had a great time today doing spastic things like "wadever can?!" n twisting with a wink n tongue out on side. =D n of cos, taking pictures!! ARGHs. another narcisstic class im
encountering. but simply love them man. hhaaha.
n IM NOT BIMBOTIC! quoted fr sm1. boo. damn funny. oh now i know y im stil tt happy today. the class is damn cute. n they really can mk me laugh.
oh n im gonna start catching up on my tutorials soon, all thanks to him =D
i think this pic is damn kuku n unglam! cos we're like all twisting so dumbly can?! N IN THE MID OF THE CANTEEN omft~
a normal pic of me n cel, but unfortunately upside down n i cant b bothered to put in right.
me n sherr baobei..
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me n weiyii my barney fren!! =D
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n i was a happy girl today. thank u for accompanying me on the line though u weren't thr with me physically. i just love the way u say "hi darling, i miss u so" :))))))) 33 days of messy love n gg ons n stil gg on~
<33s>
i miss the hugs n i miss u.
i miss ur drowning kiss.
Baby you're all that I want
When you're lying here in my arms
I'm finding it hard to believe
We're in heaven
Love is all that I need
And I found it there in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven
continue singing to me.. <33
i told of my glory at 2:47 pm
Wednesday, 25 April 2007
i cried.
i feel so weak.
i told of my glory at 2:27 pm
boo.
bad day.
that's it.
the end.
i brought abt my own downfall.
i could have had ct rep n gone for cca exco.
but no i didnt.
so now.
no ct rep.
no cca exco.
house exco, a crust in a cake.
too ambitious.
when evrything starts to fall.
evrything starts to disintegrate.
i aimed for a whole cake, only to end up with a crust.
THANKS TO ALL WHO SUPPORTED ME THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE ELECTIONS PROCESS. THANK U FOR PUTTING UR FAITH IN ME, VOTING FOR ME, ENCOURAGING ME. I REALLY APPRECIATE ALL THAT.
it's not that i dont like the post im having.
it's just that the interest isnt thr.
i hate that word.
n i've given up too much.
only to end up with nothing.
im making myself ignore u, hate u. but u mk me feel guilty.
when i need ur support u arent thr. all u do is b sarcastic. im not trying to gain popularity or mk my sgc look glorious. it's just my interest. my own ambition. me being over-ambitious n bringing my own downfall is bad enough as it is. y do u still think im just trying to bcm famous in ny? i dont bcm famous by this. i alr feel horrible. pls stop ur reverse psychology. i want direct care n love.
frens who asked, thank u.
ppl who mock, it's ok.
it doesnt matter anymore.
nothing matters anymore.
i've ruined my own future.
我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你
one month ago, i was that happy girl
i told of my glory at 1:15 pm
Tuesday, 24 April 2007
BOO! co today until 8.30pm.
WHY WHY WHY??!
first was D
now is M.
WOW. splendid.
so proud of myself. getting involved in such kuku scandals.
wahs. damn hate this.
makes it even more difficult to let go.
y cant u all let me enjoy my proper relationship properly but instead involve me in such stuffs. ok i know i cant blame them. they duno abt it.
they dun have to know abt it either.
look at those couples known in co, always the topic of discussion.
i dun c the need for us to b.
so we'll kp it low-profiled.
i want to go back to the me in sec 3, when all i had in my mind was studies, frens, n bio-ing guys.
it's contradictory.
i want to end this nightmare fast.
yet this seems like a sweet dream.
tortorous, yet so enjoyable.
today's prac was shyat for me. i was dog tired + no motivation = freakshyat bored.
freakshyat bored = sit n think n ignore evry1 else = emo.
there u have it. my equation.
it's once again happening to me. im sad to say. u promised to kp me happy.
so there it is, im gg thru a rough patch in my life. enjoying when it gets really fun n getting into shyt when it really sucks.
on the way out of sch, weijian told ming kwang tt i want to play gaohu. then derek said smth abt them stepping down. ming kwang can stil joke abt it.
tears in my eyes alr. yet they cldnt see cos it was too dark.
ming kwang:haha! when i step down, weijian move to my place, then u sit his place.
hf:wadever la. wad weijian say u jiu listen. i'd rather syf nvr came n u nvr step down.
ming kwang:haha! step down transformers! heeheehee.
derek:aiya, ming kwang step down then u can go play gaohu alr wad! really.
hf:but i'd choose u all over gaohu.
n ming kwang cracked some lame shyt joke again.
sometimes he's really such a total turn off. he doesnt know how i feel sometimes.
co really beginning to mk me feel so cracked up.
in future, i'll look back at my ny years. wad were they made of?
definitely a large portion of co.
n memory of co = the first chalet, the best camp ever, the sufferings b4 syf, the frenships, the jokes n laughters, the care n concern. n love.
all i rmbr of the camp was the movie kakashi, the game of bridge, and you.
u made the camp so memorable,
so fun,
so meaningful.
24th march. when evrything started.
我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你
u sang thru the phone n i recorded =D
"sometimes the best and the most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, cannot be touched, but can be felt in the heart"
wad u sing,
wad u say.
carved in my heart,
carved in my mind.
someday we'll hold hands and stroll at the field singing away.
when will that day ever come...
i really love u too much to let u go alr.
i wanted to give up.
i wanted to turn back.
but i cant bear to.
now im stuck here with u.
17 days to our co separation.
mayb it is then the time to mug.
naturally.
ppl r saying me n mk.
they nvr think of me n u.
but who cares? ilu tts all tt matters. <33s msq~
i told of my glory at 2:31 pm
Monday, 23 April 2007
BOO!
2 yrs ago on this day. our GOLD. ahhhs.
boring day today. x(
i miss my darling.
HAIIIIs.
i left him in the co room.
excuse me, im referring to my darling erhu.
i want to get gold.
WE WILL GET GOLD!
so we'll hold on tgt alright? dont give up! 18 more days.
im feeling damn emo now.
think think think.
y must i think so much?
listening to hui you na me yi tian.
18 days.
n it will all b over.
ming kwang, derek, xiang feng, kaili, sun yu, lj, kw, etc etc. those seniors will step down.
not tt close to some snrs.
very very very close to some.
those im close to, so sad to c them leave co for their studies. i really cant bear to imaigne co without them. so much lesser laughter. so much less fun. the motivation just starts coming. n then it'll b gone by then. wad will push me on to work hard for co then?
it's always during the chionging-for-syf period tt feelings come.
it's always then that im happy at co.
really happy.
when all the frenships seem so true n we encourage one another to fight on.
to hold on till the end.
it's always at the end of it.
when the results r announced.
we cry.
in happiness or in disappointment.
we'll definitely cry.
it also marks our seperation.
the bond tt ties us to co is broken.
it was an obligation turned willing.
some frenships dont stay.
most do.
last time zh, 22nd apr, the today 2 yrs ago.
we cried. so many of us girls. hugged, cried in joy. our FIRST ever syf. we would go down history. the first batch of co to syf n GOLD. we're proud of ourselves. n proud of our birthday boy- lip chiau. i can rmbr us singing the bday song on the bus on the way to SCH. n the fact tt some particular sch's conductor actually told the ppl thr tt ZHONGHUA CO WILL GET A GOLD based on his professional inference. the pride we felt. even b4 we made it to the SCH our presence was alr acknowledged.
now at ny.
i hope history will repeat itself.
in an even better way.
gold with honours.
WORK FOR IT!
18 days is how many days we have left too. when u leave co for ur studies too. how often wil we meet then? how often r we actually physically tgt then? mentally isnt enough. i'll mug just for u. lj, if u r reading this, does this give u another clue alr?
我要离去别再哭泣
不要伤心请你相信我
要等待我的爱
陪你永不离开
因为会有那么一天
我们牵著手在草原
听鸟儿歌唱的声音
听我说声我爱你
sing it again n again n again to me. i'll nvr get sick of this song. cos u sang it to me.
i love ur voice.
i told of my glory at 2:58 pm
Sunday, 22 April 2007
BOO! had a relatively good day today. hahaa. with such nice seniors n a happy me today, a whole day of co was :)))))))) aiya, but me, aiming for perfection in my nature (though a bit selective at times), i think we'll do even better, n get GOLD!! =D
co supposed to start at 10 am today but i reached at 10.15, on the way i msged ming kwang telling him i'll b a little late. but he was late too, met him at the bball court. lols. n weijian, tricia, winghim, mk n i walked in tgt. c how "united" huqin can get? LOLs~ we go LATE tgt. hahahahaha. n omft first thing i c is someone emo-ing away. zzz. gone was my emo period. hahaa. shoo emoness!!! but anyways, today's prac was at the lt4 thr lo, sounded MUCH better,. so so so much lo. ding was in a good mood =D other than LJ being nagged at by her. hahaa. ystd was us, today is him. :S LOL. but then, really, playing at lt4 stage, the feeling is absolutely GREAT. totally different. feel so.... absorbed into the music. too absorbed. bcos i actually think we got hope for a gold alr =D yay-ness~ hehe. n i was like damn happy for the whole of today. some ppl know y. hahahahaa. n anyways, back to the music, it actually sounded like music instead of noise. xP hahaa. well, wad can xpect fr an enclosed area so SMALL. so today at the BIG lt4 i find we played well! so i think i play till action abit EXTRA. super DRAMA. lol. wth. malufication in front of them x)
i did my part for co today!! i moved chairs!! when many other girls were RESTING in the co room. hahaa. wth. damn long distance. hahaa. senior SH was walking in front of me dragging 2 stacks of 4 chairs each but ended up last, behind me, behind kaili, behind erms, duno who luhs forgot alr. hahaa. poor senior x) but abit bad lei, he come back to watch us then have to help us move chairs. :((((( lols.
oh n i brought the packet of fruit gums. kuku weijian arhs. tk it n ran out of the co room. then dominic took it. ran away. to duno whr. then weijian n senior SH were eating it outside n BOO! i appeared! n the 3 of them ran away with it!! ARGHs~ baddddddd. hahaa. but aftr tt SH went to move stuffs n didnt get to eat more than ONE sweet. too baddd. :)))))) lols.
today's prac was great luh overall. with eye candy being thr n him being thr. totally GREAT =D best prac i've had for ages. i actually felt like i improved la! oh n I LOVE CO LAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! co nvr left me :))))
no matter wad happens, co resides IN MY HEART :)))) <33s
n im beginning to go crazy abt da gui alr! IT's SUCH A NICE SONG!!!!!
n the wooden fish thingy is NICE! used to think it's a dumb instru but it's actually sounding nice in da gui.
n I MISS DIZI!! i want play dizi!!! but nyco got 2 dizi pros. SIAN NESS~
hey u dont run away from co! :))))) last lap, we'll run it tgt. im having my problems too. make them seem minor laaaaaaa. yin wei ni you wo de ai!! =D heehee. but arhs, dont blame urself when minor stuffs go wrong alright, dont b such a perfectionist. ltr end up like me x( yea yea yea, ps me la u piece of shyat. msq <33333s
i told of my glory at 1:13 pm
Saturday, 21 April 2007
BOO! sucky day today. ARGHs. 15 hours in the sch today. really bcm my 2nd home alr. zzz. n somemore tmr 10 am must reach. i only spend 12 hrs at home la!
co ended at 10 pm today due to unforseen circumstances. kuku. zhangbin came today. his teaching was good. but when he went over to combined he had pretty alot to say. lj n samantha were the victims. LOL. pretty funny. n HE DIDNT BRING ME N HEIDI's NEW BOW. freakshyat. n it will cost me more than 2o bucks. ARGHs! co was pretty bad today overall.
1. guo teach one style, ding teach one style, zhang teach one style. 3 styles. HOW? listen to who? do how? ARGHs~ -n u shld have seen the way ming kwang n weijian imitated ding on our way out of college =D damn funny tt sun yu n i were SO tickled. LOLs.
2. i want my NEW bow!! -i need it ASAP to get used to it b4 syf!!
3. getting tired of the late practices n high demands to meet. =((((((
4. handling with my own problem of kind of mentality i have.
mr tan spoke to the whole co today. it started off a serious tone n ended on a happy note =D we work towards GOLD!! n we shall work towards gold with HONOURS!! YAYness~ heehee. the thought of how im gonna meet up with my zhco mates!! hahhahaha!! randomness~ lols. hmms. so, a lil sorry abt the gz team. but im sure they'll mk it thru. =D n well, mr tan actually told us tt thr's this rumour spreading fast in the staffrm tt nyco's gonna get a GOLD with just a few more pracs. LOL!! STRESS!! hahaa. we can do it de!! IM SURE!! zhco made a miracle hope for honours within the last 2 weeks. nyco can TOO!! =D
derek must really appreciate n cherish a nice fren like me x) HEHEHE~ n give n take, so thanks alot for ur support toooooo!! :)))))
i guess wad senior said is right, come to think of it, i stil love co de lo =D though some things can mk me so irritated, want to give up. but i'll HOLD ON TILL THE END!! :))))) one sentence fr senior, confidence level WOOHOO!! n as of today, IM SURE OF WAD I WANT NOW!! GOLD!! GOLD WITH HONOURS!!!
NYCO CHIONG ARHS!!~ =D
serious lack of motivation! y r we always not tgt during co ARHS?! i can nvr understand y. but it was a pleasant surprise u gave me x) ARGHs. someone's looking out! shoo! hehes. anyways u wont b able to SEE anything de la~ heeheehee. let me give u a clue ----- it's a guy. HAHAHAA. hf<33ssqm!!>
i told of my glory at 3:05 pm
Friday, 20 April 2007
BOO! arghs. normal day today.
but first, HORRID PICTURE OF MINE ON NY VOTING SITE FOR HOUSE CAPTAIN!! ARGHsSs. STUPID PHOTOGRAPHER LAAAAAA!! kukunanababana. now all phoenix wil c my horrible photo. ARGHs~
today
chiong-ed chem,
played plasticine during chem which turned out to bcm play-doh for my class,
ate a bowl of yong tao fu DAMNNNNNNNNN slowly -ahems, i actually took more than 3o minutes cos the food was so damn hot.
maths lectured,
ct period was QnA by council nominees -full of bullshits fr some particular ppl.
common lunchbreak=mugging in the discussion room.
so not me right?
my class plays hard
but we study hard too.
chiong-ed maths n did a lil bit of revision for econs.
went for maths,
econs -n oh yahs, i actually got only 5/8 for the quiz when sm ppl got 7. wth.
came home n im gonna collect my 15 bucks fr smartlab ltr b4 meeting my mom for dinner.
a day of less excitements.
oohs, sher n law missed the chance to c who's my darling even though he was standing outside my classrm tday.. TOO BAD!! heeheehee~
only miraculous thing was i didnt sleep in any class at all.
now tts an improvement :D
studying studying studying. studying seems to have bcm a joy when life gets too busy. to run away from co, to run away fr thinking too much abt my future, i bz myself with studying. studying is such bliss when it takes my mind off current affairs. omg. when did i ever start sounding like a mugger. ok celestine might laugh if im ever quoted as a mugger, but some co ppl actually asked me y i mugged so much. omg. i JUST started studying alright. wad i'd been dg was just homework! ARGHs~
LAPTOP REVIVED BY MYSELF!! SMART ME!
if u duno how im feeling, im not gonna tel u x)
MAKE A SMART GUESS!!
i told of my glory at 9:04 am
Thursday, 19 April 2007
BOO! bad ending to my day today. ARGHs. was having a nice day during lessons. felt normal enough. BUT. co ruined evrything.
EVERYTHING.
ming kwang black-faced during co, n i was bloody hell irritated.
insulted.
tried my best to prove her wrong.
ignored.
JUST BCOS IM CURRENTLY AN INSIDE-SEAT PLAYER.
excuse me tcher, im a part of co too.
can u kindly do me this favour, test us one by one, rearrange the seating according to our standards, n let me accept my seat wherever i'll b, properly.
it's not im being rebellious by disobeying this seating arrangement by ming kwang. but dun u think it's unfair?
she nags at our pitching.
thr's not much pitching prob fr me considering tts wad tchers have said to me for the past 3 yrs n counting.
she nags at our lack of BREATHING action.
i've been doing my best to put in actions since donkey ages ago.
but she sees nthg of me.
she only says "evry1's better", but no praises.
she even said my section has no progress fr last prac.
im just nthg but an inside-seat player.
invisible when good, seen when bad.
ppl who do not play better than me have right to correct me. but no right to if done in a rude manner.
y cant they just give me one chance, to prove myself.
i know i can do it.
but they're not showing faith in me.
he's not showing faith in me.
n so im left thr.
so great. leave me thr INSIDE n i can c my darling all i want to. the outside seat would b obstructed view. so nice of u seniors. it's called self-delusion.
mayb it's bcos i've always been an outside seat player, tt's y i stil want it tt way.
mayb it's cos im a virgo, tts y im nvr satisfied with my own standard.
mayb it's cos im crazy, tts y i dont give up despite being alr being deemed as one of the lousy players who wil cause the downfall of nyco.
since huifang is being arrogant, leave her be.
since huifang is too pro, just b jealous of her.
since huifang is just a miserable fucktard wallowing in self-pity n ranting away, leave her.
sometimes i really want to run away in order to b alone.
things really suck when they dont go my way n continue on in a way tt totally sucks.
im always doing the wrong things, making the wrong decisions, creating more probs for myself.
someone actually said "huifang tmr sure get alot of votes on lo". i tk that as a compliment thank u. if i succeed, it's great. if i fail, i feel i've given up too much just for that one chance fr one quarter the ny population.
he said hi to her (the 3 of us were frens then), yet he just looked at me without saying anythg. he nvr said anythg, yet that look spoke alot. i looked away n began thinking. she snapped me back to reality 3 seconds ltr.
u were not thr for me for alr too many times. it was always ANOTHER guy, that one guy, accompanying me in the dark, consoling me, getting my mind off my troubles. wad were u doing then? i dont want to know anymore. i wont want to b with u anymore if u mk me feel neglected at times. i've nvr been that harsh towards any special someone in this whole life. u're the first. y'd u have to mk me do this? evrytime u do smth wrong, u apologise, u say ilu. it's becoming an overused phrase dont u think so? u have alot to say abt any small matter. yet he's the one who tells me to go ahead with any decision i want to mk, volunteer to speak to mk abt the problem i have with seating thr, console me when im troubled n care for me when im not feeling well. whr're all the sweet stuffs u ever did to me when i hadnt said yes? i'm stil sticking to "THE WORDS" we once said. but u're not doing wad u said u'd do.
I NEED CONSTANT TLC FROM U.
i dont know if he will ever read this, or mayb someone may read n go tell him, but im really tired of giving my all in this. u used to give so much, yet now u're stopping it. lessening it. wad i want is someone committed. i thot u werent one to b committed but u changed my perspective of u. i didnt know u well enough then. but now r u a committed lover trying to play hard to get or just another fren whom i feel atracted to n can click with?
suddenly, i miss zhco.
i told of my glory at 2:02 pm
Wednesday, 18 April 2007
BOO! i had a bad day today.
very bad.
1.went onstage (though nt really a stage) to b intro to the collage without cheking my appearance b4 hand.
2.lost my temper at celestine MANY times.
3.lost my temper at my classmates, appeared irritated n somehow offended some ppl i think.
it wasnt good at all. how many times did i smile?
but i told cel, tmr i shall b back to normal. i wont let ppl c the huifang without smile, without laughter, full of sarcasms, bad-ittude. i'll let ppl c the HAPPY HUIFANG.
oh n when i went onstage this morn, i actually felt anxious when i saw the ppl who were directly infront of me. wad's gg on with me? didnt dare to even try to look into their face aftr i knew tt thr were so many ppl i know directly infront of me. n guess wad, the first thing aftr the intro when i walked off the stage, luo jun asked "eh, nvr b ct rep alr ar?"
guilt.
confused.
teared.
mr yeo says tt mrs lim actually supports me to run for house. so i hope u all will support me. im not saying evry1's not showing me support, but pls let me finish running this race n let me b first or second. i dont want to turn back to my class n run for ct rep. it makes me feel horrible. it's not about losing. it's the chance im given that makes me think im aiming too high n im making myself seem very ambitious. n someone says im being overly-ambitious by aiming for the house instead of just being satisfied with the class n mayb hope to enter the cca's. but wads gg on with me? kiasuism? dont sound proper.
or mayb i really am
hopelessly lost in pursuit of leadership that i dont know whr to stop.
wad u say. i wont listen only to u anymore. u really give me a whole lot of bullshit when u feel like it. im tired of handling our problems. i could accept the biggest difference thr was, but u keep bringing me more probs.
COME BACK ONLY WHEN U'RE READY TO GIVE NTH BUT TLC.
otherwise, fuck off. u made me act this way today. fuck u.
i told of my glory at 1:04 pm
Tuesday, 17 April 2007
BOO!
this is gonna b the first time im gonna say this in my life.
this contradicts with wad i live with.
this is so unlike me that i might scare the daylights of ppl who know me well enough.
I HATE CO.
yes. im beginning to hate it. cos at times i just feel the unnecessary stress tts coming from who-the-hell-knows-whr. i hate the feeling of being so demoralised. n i know the demoralised feeling i have is cos i stil canot xi guan the jc status now. i stil think im in sec sch whr i practically dominate the section. i have no motivation to practise hard constantly in this orchestra. i can only do once in a donkey days. n when im working hard, no one notices. when i slack, evry1 notices.
i cried on the way home. sometimes i think i cant tk it anymore. i want to give up. but i cant. im tied down by dsa. i cant do anythg.
in combined, i feel so ashamed of my deproving standard. i feel demoralised by the seat im arranged to by ming kwang, this im not afraid to say cos no difference it will make anyway, just tt ppl will know im a person who canot tk losing to others. i also feel that thr's no motivation for me to play well in practices when i feel like im left in a pathetic corner when im actually not.
in sectionals, i feel so thoroughly ashamed to b taught by a tcher who DOESNT even play erhu. he plays jing hu, yet he teaches us. when my ex-sec sch frens ask me who is my erhu tcher now, i darent even say. it's that embarrasing.
im ranting on here. this may cost me any potential exco positions in co im probably gonna run for (though not possible to b any when thr r more qualified n pro ppl arnd) if any co exco members DO read this, sometimes i really feel so at home with them, yet sometimes i feel such a stranger.
i hate the occasional feeling of being neglected by some ppl whom i hope they will constantly care. i know evry1 is bz with their own life, their own commitments. but cant u all just spare me the one minute i need to get the assurance tt u care?
just a call, just a msg, just a hug to show u care. that's all the assurance i need to kp me smiling.
a hug means alot. it means u're close to my heart.
but why do u just remain indifferent about things when im alr reconsidering n reconsidering n reconsidering n reconsidering n accepting all our differences with so much difficulty when someone actually thinks we will never be?! i dont think u r doing anything to help me overcome these, other than just making me very very happy when u feel like it once in a while, twice in a week, wadever.
i dont want to look back in future n regret not being with u, that's y im stil not letting go. like wad LJ said, i can bear to either.
now i start to wall myself up. ignoring frens around me n keeping to myself stuck to my hp. this isnt depression definitely. but wad is this? i duno. im just stil in a state of confusion whr i cant dcide wad to do with my life.
only 2 things made me laugh today:
1. ruolin n weiyi's craziness-the 2 of them tttally love to ACT. n b drama queens.
2. xiangfeng really made me laugh alot during co today. the only reason i laughed. he was really very funny today. the him-becoming-gay-cos-i-rejected-him, the me-becoming-bi-cos-i'd-broken-up-with-him, the duno-y-zican-bcame-his-gay-partner, the heidi-with-alot-of-partners-thrfore-being-bi-like-me, n the oh-my-freakshyt-so-mushy craps me, xf n heidi crapped. that was jst during co. aftr prac, ming kwang, weijian n derek were singing i-duno-wad song when we were walking out of school. but it sounded horrid anyways. then i was like "omg xf, let's go. i duno them." but xf started singing along with them. omft. wanted to si1 ben2 with xf de lo then he bcm gila also :S arhs. not very funny i guess. but xf is a great senior to have, jst like ming kwang n derek. wonder wad wil co b like without them.
n without him.
wad wil life b like aftr syf?
though he dulan-ed abt the xf thing, but it's just for fun wad. gf, bf, nth wad. we just joke arnd. evry1 knows im just frens with xiangfeng. u didnt c evrything tt happened. u cant judge anything. i aint some easy woman. evry1 can b my witness, cos u werent even thr for me when i needed a shoulder to cry on.
if u dulan, it shows u care. but it also shows u get jealous over minor stuffs.
aftr syf,
no co, no him. pls let me enter the house exco n b the captain. let my life go on with smth to live for, something to slave for, something to kp me bz with, for my motivation in co had gone n never will come back.
our love cant kp me gg when i duno if it's love on my part. im sorry.
i told of my glory at 2:32 pm
Monday, 16 April 2007
BOO!
today i had a great start. woke up at 2pm. zzz. i slept b4 2am but actually woke up so late luh omft. nth much today lo. boring sunday >.< talked on the phone, msged alot, did some maths, n gone is my sunday.
oh n i think im a lil abnormal today. becoming very career-minded. hmms, dun sound right. aiya, it's just tt i kp thinking wad i wana b in future lo. cos i watched the zhco pre-syf video i took for ga da mei lin, n xu looked damn cool. very stylo. omft. inspired to b a conductress too. n my mom said im bullshyating. kukunanababana. =.= then suddenly thot of being a dj when i listened to fm93.3. but stil stuck to the thot of being a conductress. very impressive! then i'll b as successful as ding in future. LOLs~ im in lala-land alr.
i love nyco huqin's own version of "flight of the bumblebee" :D
now it keeps appearing in my mind. lols.
tmr morning! YAY-ness. heeheess~
now im gonna start ranting.
is this luck or wad?
either nothing happens to me, or it all happens at the same time.
or rather, it doesnt go right.
just when i have managed to gain entry to nyjc, then that person leaves it.
when i finally assume the position or chairperson aftr waiting for it my whole life, the house exco comes in.
when im abt to reach my target of ny, someone comes along into my life n takes my attention off my target.
some big things just dont go right for me.
im doubting my own capability now.
oh, n just found one senior's blog. ooh. guys do blog VERY emo posts too.
u made me a just like a lil girl, asking for more.
i told of my glory at 1:30 pm
Sunday, 15 April 2007
BOO!
black friday:
-missed a bloody easy chance to earn $300 in a second
-lost my wallet
-drop my handphone n it actually SPLIT into, for the first time in my life, 3 pieces
-co till 9pm n alone aftr tt
-laptop gone mad
wad a nice friday i had ystd. esp the losing of my wallet. left my wallet on the table during break. then went for 2 consecutive lectures n then only discovered my wallet was missing 2 hrs ltr. such a dumbass kuku. then went to GO, none reported. went to ask ah ben if council rcd any, also none. BOOOO. damn sadded luh! mass-msged to all nyjcians whose no. i had. sent abt a 100 over msgs. freakshyat man. =.= in the end rcd quite a no. of pretty caring replies :D hehes. then very zzz lo, 2.3opm went to co room cos wingyan told me to go help tk care of the room. wahahs. then me n zj n cel were having lots of fun "murdering" the percussion instruments. lols. *ahems, luo jun if u ever read this. nvr mind one la hor? :))) oh wells. then at like 4 smth i went to the chging room to bathe n BOO! liangyu msged me to tel me tt my wallet had been found by her fren n brought to the wallet! YAY-ness! then went to the GO n they were pretty shocked how i knew tt fast when they hadnt even called me. hahaa.
co prac was murder. ARGHs~ wanted to toot off alr. damn tired. BOO. nth much lo. just tt at 9pm wahs, the first time, mk n derek were so FAST to leave the college! LOLs~ tio ps by alot of ppl today la, in the end no bus stop kaki. mk n the other 7 ppl actually crossed opposite n im thr all alone. BOOOOOOO :(((((((
i was all alone at the bus stop. n y did it have to b so late. u werent thr when i needed u most.
SATURDAY~
BOO! today. wow. 9am-4.30pm co prac! OMFT. expected it to b damn tiring. but it WASNT! omg. instead, it was damn boring. ARGHs~ no eye candy!! boooo. damn sian. really. stupid kuku. half thr half not thr. made me saddddd :((( then today my erhu sounded pretty odd too. in the end was difficult to control accuracy of notes. *stresssss. some more so shyat, today ding kp wanting to hear one by one. omft. but aftr co prac had this video thingy. watched dunman high's da gui n it sounded, well, messy. hahaa. saw jun yuan in the video too >.<>.< *OUCH. all of a sudden im like so much better off cos i only have sore throat n lost my voice + a slight cold. boooooos. but he seem unaffected by tt other than a slight cough. lols.
omft. someone or mayb sometwo actually read the ultra small words with his ultra eyesight. lols. freakshyat. his first guess was =.=" n his 2nd guess was :(((((( BOOOOO LA. kukunanabanana. hahaa! anyways, really thanks alot to luo jun n janice for the concern(if u all do c this, n i duno, cos LJ read but DUN tag =.=), n i DO NOT peep at the 2 of u (omg. im NOT pervert can) but it just happened tt the two of u were directly infront of me the whole time today. :pp someday, someday, i hope wad luo jun says will b true enough for me to overcome all the problems which r pushing me away..... :DD
had a great time today. made the boredom fr the prac b4 that seem insignificant aftr all :D if only it's like tt evryday!!! <33s
sometimes i really dun unnderstand y ilu so much. ppl kp guessing who im with. they guess others, but nvr u. not even near. im not thinking too much. im really considering the problems we'll face if we really get tgt with evry1 knowing. u wil face problems, but i wil also face problems. from others, between us- the communication problems, the time we have left, etc etc.
saw this on abi's blog, saddening-
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most?
Saying something and wishing you hadn't?,
orSaying nothing and wishing you had?
I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.
Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them.
If you do, they might break your heart...
if you don't, you might break theirs.
Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person?
Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't.
You can't tell your heart what to do.
It does it on its own........when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to.
Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you ?
Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all.
Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle?
We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us.
But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger.
Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump.
Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.
* What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? ( even if it is that you don't care anymore)
*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?
*What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?
i told of my glory at 2:56 pm
Friday, 13 April 2007
BOO! im stil sick! but tt not the main point of today's post.
i CRIED in the college today, at the oh-so-crowded canteen, in front of like half of my beloved class, n got seen by half the ny population. thr were even quite a no. of ppl who msg-ed me their concern when they saw me fr afar.
i nvr felt so loved in this college.
i was nvr so touched in my life, in my whole life.
until today.
ystd i didnt sleep well. all i thot of was: should i go for house exco or just remain as a ct rep for my class? wil i look back in future n regret giving up my ct rep position?
i was in a dilemma.
whole morn i felt so troubled and worried. i was late for sch by 2 min today n mrs lim gave me tt look of disappointment cos the reason y she sacked lawrence was cos he was always late. n just the next day aftr she told me, im late. i really felt very confused, in a mess, blahs blahs. felt like breaking down a couple of times today esp. when i stood up for not doing chem tutorial. though more than half the class did not do it, I DIDNT DO IT. me, me, the oh-so-responsible ct rep.
today i sat in the canteen with shermaine n celestine opposite me. lawrence had gone to c mrs lim at tt time n i was stil thinking. so when at the canteen, i also forgot wad we were talking abt it alr. then sher told me of their plans they made this morn. the girls actually said they're NOT gonna vote for me to b in the house exco cos they know tt if i fail to enter the house exco, i'd continue to b their ct rep n they'd b glad to accept me, even though i explained to them the guilt i'd feel as if im treating 23 as the last resort to leadership. the way sher said it n when i heard it, i immediately cried luh. sher n cel were really shocked. they were so lost as to wad to do!! ARGHs~
im so sorry! i shouldnt have broken down. but all u all needed to say was that u all want me as the ct rep n i'd give up running for the house exco. mayb i wouldnt succeed in running for the house exco, i really duno. i'll b more than glad to b back as ur ct rep. but i cant help but think too much, tt im treating u all as a last resort to leadership. n it's not some simple post im referring to but the CT REP post which is not easy to assume n let go. tts y i m so confused over which i shld choose.
they actually said they want me to go campaign n run for the house exco, but they hoped i'd stil b their ct rep, which is not allowed. well, so they were like coming up with ways luh.
so aftr the break, i spent the maths lecture thinking it thru. n i decided. i'd give up the house of 2oo over ppl for the sake of my 26 23-ists. aftr lect was ct period n i told mrs lim abt my decision so she said ok.
aftr ct, i went to look for mr yeo. had a talk with him abt it. i told him i wanted to withdraw fr the campaign n he said he wont hold me back if i want to leave. but he asked me y. when i told him, he didnt want to let me go anymore. he said he'd speak to mrs lim cos of some reasons tt he mentioned. actually i'd made up my mind to give up. but i was stil very confused n unsure. it jst felt so.... in a rush? in a moment of passion? i really duno. so i'll leave mr yeo to go talk with mrs lim n let them decide wad's best for me.
i hope mr yeo n mrs lim wil let me n my class b happy.
went to swensens again today. omft. zj is damn unglam when it comes to swensens regardless of sides or desserts. LOLs.
n i thot evrything would b settled today.
class exco? house exco?
all u all have to do is tel me, n i'll willingly give up the house for u all. :))) like wad mr yeo asked me jst now "r u sure u want to give up 2oo over pheonix for ur class? leading pheonix and leading ur class is of total different natures u know. pheonix is on a larger scale." i said yes.
;;;; love brings along with it happiness n hurt ;;;;
it wasnt my fault. u acted like u didnt c me the 2nd time we met today. y blame me when it's u being dao. i was talking with others at tt time n wad were u doing? just walking. i love u yet i hate u at times. y cant we just b like others, open n aboveboard? i cant call u by wad u want me to call u, u cant call me by wad i want u to call me. why?? sometimes u cant blame me for envying luojun n jan.
i told of my glory at 10:56 am
Thursday, 12 April 2007
BOO! IM STIL SICK! oh holy freakshyat. cant BREATHE properly (gonna die fr lack of oxygen soon) n cant walk properly (idiot bai ka). n so PLS forgive me if i do some stupid things or m not in the right mind. :))) ARGHS~
so today's lessons were more or less the same, n omft. im beginning to love mr gary :D he dismissed us early AGAIN! WOOHOO~ wahahas~ BOO's students, ENVY us :)))
hehehes. then aftr lssns had the house exco interview thingy. turned out easier than i xpected. cos ystd cel n chris mummy went n mr yeo asked pretty difficult qns. but for mine he only asked according to wad i wrote on the form, telling me to elaborate n possible problems blahs. hahaa. went pretty well i must say n he kept the interview light hearted lo. not so serious :D but arhs, one to one in an enclosed room >.< style="font-style: italic;">
VOTE FOR HUANG HUIFANG FOR PHEONIX HOUSE EXCO!!
BUT half of me wants to lead 23 instead of pheonix.
how?
today had a short meeting w mrs lim. i thot i'd b sacked. but im not. she's keeping me. but she's booting him. i feel sad for him :((( really. it's like. the passion he has for leading the class as vice ct rep is shown. he says it. though i dont say, i show it thru my actions. i told mrs lim. im confused. mr yeo said "once u r elected, u canot step down cos u r chosen by the population" ARGHs~ but mrs lim says if i fail for house exco, i'll go b the ct rep. hahaa. but i dun think tts very nice of me luh. like 23 is my last resort.
cos i really enjoyed "governing" 23, coordinating 23 blahs blahs. 23 is really a fun class to lead....
anyways, co today. oh n costumes tryouts. freakshyat can. it's SEXY. hahaa. spaghetti straps sia! OMFT. lucky a tiny jacket cm with it. hahaa. n heidi tried to b funny during combined to wanna go tel kai wen tt i think he's really very cute n tt he's my "eye candy" n tt i bullied her. hahaa. so no link right!? oh but anyways, had sectionals halfway thru til 7.3o pm when we went back to co rm n realised tt the prac today is extended to 8 pm. ohh no. so lazy huqin dcided to sit outside n romance in the darkness. hahaa! played our own version of flight of the bumblebee which is actually the kiddy bee song. hahaa. i rly think gaohu is nice!! ARGHs~ hahaa. aye anyways, tired luhs. 8pm. was dismissed at 8.15pm, waited for ming kwang until like 8.3opm alr luhs. kukuu~ walked out with 7 other ppl, but ended up at the bus stop with someone else. omft. all cross to opposite >.< boos. lucky thr was tt someone at the bus stop to kp me happy. :))))) our buses came at the same time. lucky :))))
oohs. all thanks to benben :D he's gonna help me with my campaigning by helping me tel others abt ME! n he's gonna get shuenlin too! :D really hope he wil mean wad he say. hhehes~ oh n posters he says. ARGHs~ i scared tio vandalised. then i cry SIA!
oh n i felt quite alone at some times today! NO get high partner cos he's sick. n i hate to have to break the news to him. i dun wanna b the one to tel u this. :((((
thanks so much for ur concern. i appreciate the fact tt u dont mind me being so sick n arent afraid to show that much love for me. u make me feel like im a lil' girl who needs so much care n concern from her love. i really love the way u make me feel so belonged and feel as if im no longer sick. the way i feel so loved tt it seems like an illusion. di xia qing, i dun care. it's just us tt matters.
u make me have no choice but say yes cos i wanna return u as much as u give me. n i really mean it when i say ilu too. i was nvr tt open with such words. <333
dun let me regret my choice in future. no one actually gave me best wishes for this, but only -ve comments. argHs~
i told of my glory at 2:57 pm
Wednesday, 11 April 2007
BOO! IM STIL FRIGGING SICK LAHS!
nosie felt like it was gonna drop off for the whole of today. plus, the feeling tt cel n chris mummy cld go for interview when i wasnt given the chance to >.< BUT! mr yeo called me hp at like 4 plus asking y i didnt turn up for itnerview today! ARGHs~ yuan lai shi i didnt get the sms luh! KUKU~ made me sad for ntg! ARGHs~ so tmr gonna b the interview for me!! n ooh cel has to campaign omft. hahaa. if i ever get the chance to.....
thurs is class exco elections. i wonder if mrs lim wil kp me, i wonder if 23 wil kp me.
chances are slim though. i know. i kp dg the wrong stuffs cos im always the one dg it n all lawrence does is give instructions which blind me wil follow.
how i wish im sick enough to run away fr evrything. talked to celestine abt it. "wah. like tt stil whr call nothing?" tt wasnt an accusation. tt was a truth. i really duno wad to do now. half of me wants to say YES!! but half of me is considering the height problem. ARGHs~ how how how? i've done smthg wrong alr. tt kuku tcher saw. SO WAD. also not kissing or wad in public. omft. sounding wrong. LOLs. but i duno how now..... ARGHSsssSssSs!!!
co tmr. costume thingy. shyat. heard fr michelle tt it's black. but y wingyan say wear strapless bra?! OMFT LUH. i thot it was jst tking measurements?! n shyat.
2.3opm-interview
2.45pm-costumes measurements
shyat.
IM SICK!
y m i so weak recently?
thanks for ur care n concern... n love...
i told of my glory at 2:20 pm
Tuesday, 10 April 2007
hey ppl! DO THIS FOR ME!! :D
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BOO! had a great day today :)))) ended off sweet n happy :D
today went to sch n had the boring 3 subjects lessons, n omg luhs im beginning to LOVE GP alr cos my tutor rocks!! :D mr gary seng!! ARGHs~ he's much nicer than BOO! hahaa. n oh yahs, the very pro vice ct rep came at 11am today. LOLs~
oh n during chem prac. OMFT!! my class girls r very gossipy gossipy arhs!! now they know my SECRET. lols. eee i shy lo!!
aftr chinese ended went to gym. arghs. hard to run with those stupid adidas sneakers. =.= run till toe pain. then tk off shoe. STUPID MOVE>>>>> now my right foot got blister. :((( *ouch. then limped to co. booo.
went thr at like 5 smth. omft. ming kwang very funny. he tk the zhongruan play like guitar nvr mind, today he tk pipa also. omft luhs! my n heidi laugh till wanna pengs :D some more he tk the pipa play n sing alr then say "eee. use pipa sound so kuku" LOLs~ n derek bcame the "mei vu with pipa" hahaa :ppp laughed ALOT. aye then prac arhs, the ding came at like close to 7. booos. ming kwang n weijian ate like most of my fruit gums larhs!! kukus. but evry1 seemed to love it :))) xcept kaili who was sick >.<>.<>.< style="font-style: italic;">wad happened to u darling? u say u're ok alr. how i can i blieve? u looked so tired today, so lost n so blur. just the typical u i always c. really have the urge to hug u n nvr let go at times. it pains me to c u overtaken. i wanna c u shine. like wad u tel me "nvr give up!" <33s>
i told of my glory at 2:02 pm
Monday, 9 April 2007
BOO! wads wrong with me?
weak
weak
weak.
first fever, then two days ltr, food poisoning. when will this end? i want the healthy n normal me back. ARGHs~ fraught with sicknesses n problems just when things start getting right.
the long nails which scratched lawrence :)))
i know u miss me :)))
the romantic moment when her head lies on ur shoulder? oh i see. alright. booooo.
i told of my glory at 2:20 pm
Sunday, 8 April 2007
BOO! today was a tiring day :(((( had co prac 9am-4pm. ding lao shi came at 11 can?! omft. was rotting away. zzz. sm graduated seniors came back today. hahaa. to play bball. =.= today's prac was pretty anti-climax de lo, other than one incident which made me n heidi pretty much annoyed, made ming kwang looked damn stressed n lost, n made the person HERself seem like a mentally-inflexible problem kiddo. i nvr knew she was this kind of person!! ARGHs~
hmms. lets c, the situation went like this:
in A's mind, things work this way- ppl who play part 1 r good n ppl who play part 2 are losers. WHICH IS SO WRONG A THINKING!
evry1 else's mind- ppl who play part 2 have a easier job cos of only a difference of a few notes and the notes played r slightly lower in comparison to part 1
so WHY does A think tt way, tt playing part 2 sucks so much tt she actually GOES AGAINST wad our dearest conductress says? the conductress chooses wads best. ppl actually have to chgn fr part 2 to part 1. that is like much more difficult a job compared to YOU having to chgn fr part 1 to part 2! u may say it's not for me to say considering the fact tt im not at all affected by this chgn in arrangements. OK LO. but i actually had to help 2 ppl when they were learning the part 1. c, i've contributed. well. anyways, here comes the gory truth. it doesnt matter whether u play part 1 or part 2, cos the ppl in part 1 r of a better standard than u. i shant say myself, but lester, michelle, xiangfeng, can play better than u! so u'll still b sitting inside no matter wad?!! n anw, heidi plays much better than u in terms of personal standard. =.= so based on YOUR thinking, heidi, the better player, shld play part 1 :D
ARGHs~ total mood spoiler. but anyways, i think ming kwang managed to settle it somehow luhs. though she stil give me dulan face at the end of prac. who cares. lols. im a happy girl in co.
oh n today thr was this guy so OMFT pro!! ARGHs~ he plays the timpani like damn pro-ded can. lols. ding replaced simon w him for timpani in da gui, n also kai wen for suspending cymbals in XLDHZ with him. omft. kai wen looked pretty pleased to b relieved of tt stress since he usually makes some funny mistakes which make him vry malu-fied :pppp
sleepy me today :((((((
wo men zhen de shi zai gao di xia qing ma? yi jing hen duo ren zai wen wo wei shen me na tian yi hou wo men bian de zhe yang. wei shen me. zhe yang xia qu, wo hen xing ku, ye ning yuan wo men guang ming zheng da de zuo pu tong peng you.
i told of my glory at 12:00 pm
Saturday, 7 April 2007
BOO! had a great day today!! x) omft. the planned day of studying gone down the drain when we realised tt the library wasnt open today. boooo. so in the end we went to mac. the environment thr really sucked. omft. damn noisy. so when zijie came at abt 1pm, sher, zj, law n i went to marina sq. had a yummilicious lunch at marina food loft. n went to play pool aftr tt.
THEN, sher pangseh-ed me. n then came along luther, zj's fren. omft. so poor me x((( then oh such a big joke, i played like shyat today. until SUDDENLY, 3 balls in consecutively. omft. luck or luck? i aim for this hole at this end, it bounce til it go down the hole at e other end! ARGHs~ sucks. in one game me n law were thrashed by luther n zj. we stil had 6 balls on th table. hahaaa. big joke~ THEN aftr pool! zj n luther wanted to go queensway. omft. tio pangseh-ed agn. 2nd time! then actually wanted to catch "the reaping" some horror movie, but in the end nvr. lols.
so we walked to suntec, accompanied by the guilty zj n innocent luther. went to arcade n then e 2 of them left. played some pretty dumb games n wow i must say im impressed tt lawrence actually won a SMALL kid by a close margin in the capcom fighting game. lol. i told him tt it's like so GLAM to win a small kid. freakshyat. hahaa.
n our expenses at the arcade, which was like 2o bucks from my pocket, is SUPPOSED to b paid by zijie cos he felt guilty pangseh-ing us. ARGHs~ *vomits blood when talking abt zj. :D
n arhs, the common thing between luther n zj n lawrence, is tt they help me tk my laptop.
BUT
the difference is, only luther takes it NORMALLY. L n zj will attempt to do things like flipping it spinning it blah blah the likes. wth =.= OMFT i have frens like tt. wth! n in the first place, it was supposed to b zj taking it for me but it bcame luther taking it!! BOOOOO ZJ!!!!
n aftr suntec went to tk 16 to tiong bahru to tk mrt. boooos. lazy to walk to city hall jiu go long cut. lols. n someone actually said : "wahhs. new generation. girl send guy home." LOL CAN?! lols. ystd he pei me tk 53 so today my turn la! :))))))
that's me n partner in crime on the bus (getting the class high n noisy) :)))))
that's the unglam side of lawrence acting as if he's sleeping on the bus.
but he dcided it was too unglam so he POSED. x))
oh freakshyat, he stil looked unglam. hahaa!!
OH NO CO AT 9AM TMR ARGHs~
sleep!
i cried watching the cinderella story just now. it's just too touching. their di4 xia4 qing2 was exposed by others. so cruel yet so romantic. when austin aemes turned arnd n gave her tt look of thorough disappointment, it seemed all was shattered. yet she picked herself up n approached the problem herself. the strong her. if only i cld b like her.
if only u knew how i feel.
if only u even care. <33s
i told of my glory at 3:58 pm
Friday, 6 April 2007
BOO! didnt blog ystd cos was seriously ill. boooo. fever til like wanna go crazy like tt but i stil stayed for the whole co prac cos anw go home is alone. zzz. so ystd whole co prac chao dulans.
a BIG sorry to ming kwang whom i attituded n missed call cos i was resting at co rm. MIA-ed fr the prac for half n hour without informing him...... nvr again in future!!
i BIG thank u to zj who said i "ai-yo mai-yo" with the huqin ppl.
WALAO EHS I WAS SICK LUH!!! lols. but anyways, ystd prac was pretty funny. mk was like telling us to move, sway, wadever u call it. LOL. but anyways, it was quite fun. just tt i cld SWAY cos my head was aching TERRIBLY n i jst cldnt sit straight luhs. :((((( n swaying like sm mad ppl, BLOODY UNGLAM OMFT!
so i ai-yo mai-yo is not my choice de. =.=
oh n a funny thing was, sun yu n simon's supposed gf (duno her name) came n talked to me an odd convo ystd-
sy n fren:eh huifang u like a j2 isit?
me:arhs? whr u hear fr de? shuo lai ting ting. i c who isit.
sy n fren:neh. tt guy lo. j2 de lo.
me:WHO LA!!!
sy n fren:ermmss..... db de lo.... n know....
me:db? db j2 i only know hek ming lei, n he's happily attached. I DUN GO FOR ATTACHED GUYS!!
sy n fren:neh.... that.... o617 one lo.... kai shuo (or isit suo? i dun even noe)
me:WHO IS THAT?! OMG I DUN EVEN NOE HIM! ARgHs~ whr u all hear fr de?
*n then i was dragged away to practice.
aftr co prac xiang feng showed me who he was, but dark luhs n cant, c but he's tall! n i asked 4 ppl whether he shuai one anot, n 3 said "erms. NO" n one said "erms. okok la."
LOL. FIRST TIME I DUNO WHO MY RUMOURED PARTNER IS!! big joke. hahaa.
oh so TODAY!!
omft woke up feeling damn giddy. but mural painting today! MUST GO! so reached thr at like 11am. lols. then helped out. whole day i only c GREY cos i kept dg the outlines. hahaa. n chao funny de can. but saw the crazy side of my class, the SINGING side of my class and wow, the fun side of mrs lim!! wahahaas. wow, how much i'd have missed out on if i didnt go. hahaa. but anyways, we spent the whole FUN day SINGING while painting, enjoyed the pizza n drumlets at lunch, n COATED each other with paint. hahaa. stoopidd mummy chris go mk my bhind thr got one white spot on my black shirt. boooos. hahaa. then had dinner w sher, law, cel, zj at nearby coffeeshop.
oh n wahhs. im pro :D managed to convince lawrence to tk bus with me to bishan then he chgn mrt. hahaas. instead of him tking mrt straight fr srgoon. WHEES~ finally got ppl pei me tk bus. hehes. :)))) then he told me this HORRIBLE joke, damn R(A) one!! hahaa. WTF can. i =.= like sm wth lo. haha. then he's like damn heng can. we walk to the mrt stat, the mrt status was "arrived". nxt one 5 min ltr. LOL can. =.= so in the end waited w him cos he pei-ed me tk bus. n in the first place i wasnt supposed to end up at bishan mrt! ARgHs~ thanks alot lawrence. boo. :)))))
mug tmr~ bras brasah nat lib. :))))) PI + chem tutorials!!
the one who shld care didnt care. he was even sarcastic. how m i supposed to know if u r serious? if u r serious, i'll commit myself to this. if u r not, pls stop leading me on. this totally sucks. i duno wad im supposed to do when im with u, which is like so rarely. i duno wad im supposed to tel u. i really stil duno u well enough. so u leave me wondering, r u serious abt this? or r u not? i thot it was just fun of starting a rumour abt us...
happy frens aftr mural painting!
brandon acting as if he's peeing in public when he's actually using the tap. LAMER LAWRENCE's IDEA!!
n lawrence's demo. LOL.
i told of my glory at 2:30 pm