Saturday, 3 May 2008
maybe i should modify my BRIGHT future a little.
i want to be a motivational speaker.
i have this great friend of mine in school, let's just call her N.
N called me on friday night, sounding REAL horrid and distraught that i couldnt even understand what she was talking. apparently she was saying "is this huifang". OH WELL! her tone was SOOOOOOO unlike her!
i was damn hungry at that moment, and annoyed that i couldnt go on miss jam's appointment due to some miscommunication between miss lois and miss jam. so there i was, stuck indoors and being a "nanny" with lucinda to azura and fion. not that i minded, but i was kind of annoyed that i felt so alone that night, especially seeing others go out on appointment, including my
i walked out to "THE AREA" and there was no one. i sat there, and talked to N. she was feeling really down cos she felt that a particular classmate M didnt like her, her parents showed her attitude, and her brother was being immature.
i tried my best, i really did. after 16 minutes on the line, with me pacing to and fro "THE AREA" cos mr bryan was there a minute later and he was LOOKING at me, i finally calmed her down and help make her feel better :) she was sounding much more pleasant and due to call of duty, i had to hang up then.
what i told her was
1. since youre in this shit, rather than saying how smelly this shit is, think of the good points of being in this shit. (though i missed out the line on positively being accustomed to how the shit smells like compared to the rest of the world)
2. since you cant change the world to suit your happiness, change your mindset to suit the world. youd be a happier person.
3. it's all about mindset.
4. if you think what you are doing does not do harm to those around you, nor does it create trouble, why care what others think about it?
i guess it really all boils down to
1. mindset, and
2. girls being girls.
miss lois taught me one thing- ladies have the emotional factor cos we read too much into small things, making them big problems.
personally, im still experiencing communication problems with my own sponsor, with whom i was supposed to be closest with. but i know this can be worked out. cos the worse thing that can ever happen in our trade, is to lose faith in my own sponsor.
so talking about us JC students in general.
ultimately, we are in a JC to obtain an A level qualification certificate. since we're on this path, make the best of it no matter how rough this path gets, no matter what gets in our way.
i may be a retainee, but i make good use of this chance for me to repeat J1. rather than lamenting about the fact that im one year older compared to my fellow lovely classmates, i make the best out of it. i help them with what experience i have from last year, i forewarn them of things to expect. so much so that many times, i forget im one year older than them. i can go on and lament about how miserable i am being a retainee and still not getting my As, yet i just move on and maybe once in awhile, stop and lament to angmengwee who is always there as a listening ear.
i dont deny that being in a JC is tough- CCA, friendship, studies. life just seems to revolve around these 3 magnificently-time-consuming duties. having to cope with letting everyone be happy with you, accepting you for who you are, wanting to do good yet at the same time STILL no offend anyone, i dont deny that's a difficult task. but we are who we are. those who accept you for who you are, they are your friends.
so again, take A for example. this is a very very close friend of mine. he tells me of my problems, not cos he wants to tell me off, but cos he's helping me overcome these problems. my problems have been identified as being persistent in protecting myself, losing focus easily and losing myself in helping others. sounds so noble? not at all. i help others so much i tend to forget what im supposed to be doing. one by one, i know A will help me overcome them. these problems may not affect me as a student now, but in the working society, they affect me very badly. i have A who's always there to help me and bring me back on path.
i like the sense of achievement i feel when i accomplish something, regardless of talking about mindset, about determination, about objective. it's the change in people i bring about which makes me happy. put it simply, im helping them. put it in more complex terms, im changing them. success or failure depends on mindset. happiness or depression depends on mindset. it all boils down to something so simple, yet so complex.
mindset can be changed. so once again, change yourself to suit the world, make yourself a happier person, rather than sulk and moan about the world going against you.
let me be the one to help you, to bring you back on your path.
it really matters to have a listening ear. so im gonna be a listening ear, ALWAYS THERE :)
no matter who you are..
i may help the world, but i cant help you, if you dont give me a chance to..
i told of my glory at 11:56 pm