Thursday, 31 July 2008
chapter 167:
---------
23 days more..
just give me two more minutes,
to freeze the memories into ice.
dont let the tears flow, cos your makeup is smudged,
how do you want me to remember?
remember you told me to forget,
remember you told me to forget.
you said you cried not because you cared..
i fell asleep last night listening to your favourite song..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
mr danny is back to fight :DDDD
he's super funny please. first time im talking to him today and he was like "tell the teacher fuck you lah!". LOL. he was prolly one of the worse students the teachers in his ite ever had but he was top student, cos the course he studied had modules same as what he learnt through VE. :D he's really nice a BM! cos when i reached he was talking to my upline's people and yea, LOGIC! :DD
oh yea, about..
philosophies of life..
i had a
over the dinner, i talked so much about philosophies, talked about my past experiences, just to ensure they would fight on. to the extent that my nuggets and fries were no longer hot though i was eating and talking at the same time..
but because i saw one of them becoming to be like me in the past- affected by my surroundings..
A told me with a regretful tone just now,
"actually.. i think ******* abit arrongant.."
B said
"yah loh yah loh i also think so.. he talk very straight leh.."
C said
"yah! abit thing right, he got ALOT to say luh!"
do you know how i felt?
using a knife to stab them,
punch them kick them hit them..
you know how
how could they say such things infront of me!!
they know how im related to him YET they say such things??!
i protected him to the best i could.
i really did..
he wont know.. but it doesnt matter..
but still, i told them over dinner that sometimes life just dont go the way you want it to.
indeed, if you think he's irksome, maybe he really is. but have you considered whether it's a good or bad thing?
i once had 12 people under me at one go.
now it's a brand new organisation i have under me. what does this mean?
i once had so many bros and sis to lend me a listening ear anytime i needed. what did that mean?
i find people with good market. what does that mean?
i know many others are still unable to accept him, to understand him, to learn to work with him. i admit, i still cant understand him at times, and i dont know how to talk to him at times. but i feel, what matters, is that i tried. by thinking things through, i see the positive side of everything he does for me. others do not witness that..
then again, is it really in human nature to look at negativites of everything? to complain, to worry? be easily satisfied, yet dream of more than what they can achieve?
is it just in me..
to turn away and walk away, but turn back the next moment and help you along again..
to hate you this moment, but still help you the next..
to be jealous of what you have yet help you to achieve more..
i should have a talk with him someday..
i told of my glory at 10:40 pm
Wednesday, 30 July 2008
i have a dream, to hold my "perfect reality"..
somethings random to make myself feel better:
1. kelly poon's version of bei ai de nv ren is even better than coco lee's. im so shaken by her high notes. she's GREAT! i wanna go kbox!!
2. somethings random thoughts about the "final affair" day:
- i have cca from 8am-1pm.
- i WANT to go to office cos i know i have to.
- i want to go out at nightttt!!!
3. some more random thoughts about the "final affair" day:
- i want to let those people whom i love, know i love them.
- i want a new BAG! and hopefully my mom will get me one!! :D
- i want... my "perfect reality" to come true.. even if it's just for awhile..
4. tmr there's maths test on AP GP, summation and MOD. i got 10/13 for AP GP test and summation seems kind of manageable. but MOD? hmm. can it be eaten? ): BUT I DONT FEEL LIKE STUDYING.
5. i know im not alone on this journey. maybe you dont show you care. but i know it does matter that im fighting. maybe..
i believe our PERFECT goals will stabilise and we'll settle down one day.
i believe we'll find the goals we're so busy searching for.
maybe you'll forget me along the journey.
but if you turn back, you see me still following behind you..
i would never leave you, i would never give up on you. but if you just give me a word of encouragement..
when was the last time you even said "fight ok.." to me?
when was the last time you told me "good job good job.."?
when was the last time you showed you cared?
when was the last time i showed i cared....
im sorry :D
im glad i i realised.
i told of my glory at 11:50 pm
chapter 166:
--------
24 days countdown.
im not working fast enough..
oh gawd.. someone save me..
你要离开 我知道很简单
你说依赖 是我们的阻碍
就算放开 那能不能别没收我的爱
当作我最后才明白
看不见你的笑
要我怎么睡得着
你的身影这么近我却抱不到
没有地球太阳开始环绕环绕
没有理由我也能自己走掉
是我说了太多就成真不了
也许时间是一种解药解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
but then again, my day in school was great. mrs tan commended me okay. i got 10/13 for the maths test. LOL please cos tammy was like "AIYAH I ONLY 9.5!" heee. she very funny siol. then mrs tan checked my tutorial and said "umm good. you do the next qn on the board" HWOA HWOA. this is like.. the first time? from what i rmbr luh. lol. even if is not first time is also a RARE thing to happen okay :D
had lotsa kookoodoodle breaks today. only had 2 formal lessons- econs lect and maths tut. 2 horus of lesson only. but i was only dismissed at 2.30pm cos of stupid reading programme which ended at 2.30pm. DAMN =x
finally submitted my standing order. a big load off my shoulders, but then again, august is coming..
YES YES YES, PEOPLE ARE COMPLAINING THAT MY BLOG IS EFFING NEGATIVE, LAMENTING AND EMO-ING. LET ME TELL YOU, I AM NOT EMO. thanks for the concern, but im really just expressing my thoughts here since there's no alternative channel you know. :D
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
true enough,
it's no use lamenting over how he has done me wrong. it only makes me miserable and disappointed. sometimes i really wonder who i can trust. he's done something so unforgivable.. something i never thought he'd ever do..
maybe hobby is right.. we can only trust ourselves..
but i believed that giving others my 99% would show my sincerity in helping them. if im not bothered, i wouldnt even give 1%. you can see a contrast from me. but then again, it doesnt ensure proportionate recognition and gratefulness. it ensures a minimal of reciprocal value, a maximum of less than proportionate. this is human nature.. this is.. definitely, i have some bros and sis who i can confide in. those few.. those few left.. darren, zhiliang.. i can go rant on and on and they'd always be ready to offer solutions for me. those i can go look for to relieve a lil stress with, jacjac and hobby..
missing some names here? yes. A and L, these 2 whom i thought closest are doing things to disappoint me time after time.. maybe it's cos i expect 100% from those i train up? i know it's too much to ask for.. i know we're all executives already. but how about at least saying hi and not acting like you know everything in the world?
have you considered who did those countless debriefs for you?
have you considered who was around to do all the plannings and scheduling of activites when your upline wasnt around?
have you considered just how much time ive lost?
have you considered how much
it may be NOTHING to you. it may be SMALL and INSIGNIFICANT.
but to me, it's my effort. it's part of my journey.
and what do i get back?
satisfaction?
appreciation?
monetary returns?
none of the above.
had i been doing voluntary work?
maybe it was preparation for myself to be a manager, but then again, i was preparing for YOU to be a manager too.
no contribution of PV to me,
no training bonus,
nothing,
nothing,
nothing.
and when YOU DONT KNOW, dont ACT AS IF YOU KNOW.
it irks me.
FUCK LAH NBCB. KNNBCCBWTF.
hello friends, im not so vulgar to scold so much vulgarities one okay. im just effing pissed today.. :( rawr!
i told of my glory at 10:40 pm
Tuesday, 29 July 2008
chapter 165:
-------
25 more days.
left to fight for MM.
i must hit within these 25 days, to tell myself im worthy of ....
i dont have to explain much :D
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
partly
effing negative okay.
stupid bastard.
to think i trusted you!
when he had done something SUPPOSEDLY wrong to you, you put the effing blame on me when what i was doing was just to talk JUSTICE, and you insisted im siding with him, and TELL OTHERS WHAT SHIT?
never mind that jac jac knows, but MY OWN BGM KNOWS??!
seriously like
there effing goes my reputation,
in front of taurus,
in front of lovely BGM.
i dont know how to face her siol =x
angry till tremble :(
disappointed till wanna cry.
BUT BLEST PUDDDING SUCH A CHILDISH KUKU!
anyway he's no longer around so YEAH :D
LAST 2 DAYS FOR SUBMISSION JULY!!
uh oh! :D
THANKS JAC JAC!! THOSE NICEY NICEY VIDEOS!!
OH YAH, so many people are already planning for after last day submission we go shopping already LOL. azuraaaaa halal pig and jac jac!! :DDD
should you feel negative, feel emo, feel sad, DONT FORGET HUIFANG IS HERE FOR YOU ALWAYS!! :DDD taurus always says "bros and sis" during thankyou speech. so YEA, since i always have bros supporting me, SIS!! I'LL SUPPORT YOU ALL THE WAY!! =DDD
haha. kookoo hobby dont wanna tell me her blog!!
i told of my glory at 10:35 pm
Monday, 28 July 2008
chapter 164:
------
nope. it wasnt the beginning, it wasnt the end.
life just goes on dont it?
no more, no more countdown. oh maybe there is.
26 days down to..
THE NEXT BIG THING :D
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
1. me and tammy did something purposeful today and we're both happy wheeeeeee!! :D
2. COW!
3. miss lois "screamed" at me ):
4. mr mengwee bully meeeee ):
cow cow, cow cow = taurus. cow cow = bison?
HMM.
you know, theres this cow at taurus ive been eyeing at for a loooong time. each time i walk pass, i'll look at it. sometimes, someone is hugging it. otherwise, it's standing on the shelf. OMG. DAMN CUTE. but stupid me forgot to take a picture of it. ): and today, I GOT TO TOUCH THE COW AT LAST :D all thanks to chee yong. cos i was outside taurus talking to jac jac, and chee yong was holding onto it. so i asked chee yong to pass it to me. HAHA. i sat there doing my stuff with the cow looking at me xDDD OH ITS SUPER ADORABLE. amelia thinks it's cute also! and miss lois is super negative about it...
miss lois- very cute meh?
hf- yah lor :D
miss lois- look like steve hor?
hf- miss lois......... O.o
miss lois- haiyah! *skeptical face*
:(
MY BGM VERY EVIL RIGHT.
then amelia hugged the cow. stupid amelia snatch from me! GRRR. LOL :D
miss lois- ren he niu nai, niu he ren nai (people drink cow's milk, this cow drinking human milk)
WALAO. miss lois really negative about that cow. then SOMEMORE!!
i was walking into mammoth's cubicle to share the phone with miss L and i brought the cow along. she "SCREAMED" at me!! :(
miss lois- CAN YOU STOP HUGGING THE TAURUS ANOT!!!!
):
so i sadly went to return mr nick the cow cow.
and there's this guy that was there with mr nick. think his name is ernest. STUPID LAH he laugh at me lo... then mr nick to rough with the cow ):
MISS LOIS AH MISS LOIS..
IM REALLY NOT TAURUS DE!! IM FALCON DE!!!!!
dont doubt my loyalty to falconssss!! :(
never mind.. jac jac will take nice videos and also share share with me tmr :DD
YAYYYY. so glad to find someone sharing the same sentiments as me!!
JAC JAC, IM AS GLAD AS YOU ARE =DDD
jac jac come online soon!!!! :DDDDDD
i told of my glory at 10:22 pm
HAHA. now thats funny. how can it be possible that im being rumoured to be together with him. lol.
what an unreliable source =D
something else,
Good thoughts are no better then good dreams, unless they be executed says:
u noe y does human fall?
Good thoughts are no better then good dreams, unless they be executed says:
fall down
Good thoughts are no better then good dreams, unless they be executed says:
at different part of their lives
Good thoughts are no better then good dreams, unless they be executed says:
because they have to learn how to pick themselves up
Good thoughts are no better then good dreams, unless they be executed says:
So its ur choice, and u're de onli one dat can bring urself out of the slump
Good thoughts are no better then good dreams, unless they be executed says:
negative who nvr negative before
Good thoughts are no better then good dreams, unless they be executed says:
its this negavities dat make u stronger
Good thoughts are no better then good dreams, unless they be executed says:
anyway dat time i at the admin der abit harsh ar
Good thoughts are no better then good dreams, unless they be executed says:
ahhah
Good thoughts are no better then good dreams, unless they be executed says:
come to think of it
LOL.
Good thoughts are no better then good dreams, unless they be executed said:
to know but not to do is not yet to know
Good thoughts are no better then good dreams, unless they be executed said:
know le must execute
THANKS ZHILIANG :D
i told of my glory at 12:00 am
Sunday, 27 July 2008
chapter 163:
-----
1 more day..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
it's when i feel truly happy,
when im truly free.
then i find myself smiling, like never before.
i met chu xian at city hall :)
i bought new flipflops. :D
tmr is monday already :( now i know what they call monday blues.
JAC JAC JAC!! MISS YOU AND THE REST ALREADY LAH :D FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!! SHOPPING!!!
i told of my glory at 11:01 pm
Saturday, 26 July 2008
chapter 162:
----
2 more days left..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
7880 LV left.
thank you downline.
thank you upline.
too many things are happening. i find it so difficult to catch up.
i need someone to help me, like seriously.
but no one can. only i can help myself.
attach and detach.
how many times have i smiled knowing i feel like crying deep inside?
how many times ive realised my life is in a mess,
i dont know how to turn it right,
and i dont know who to turn to.
how many times ive gone against others best wishes for me just to fulfil my own desire?
ive been suspended, like really. but i just went ahead with it today. i didnt feel good. i felt like i wasnt supposed to be there.
weijian and zhiwen made me feel so much better, yes they did. but inside, i felt like....
during the break, i just walked out. weijian stopped me asking me where i was heading for. i just said outside. but truth was, i wanted to really take a breath outside. inside the room, i felt like i wasnt a part of them, really. all because miss tan told me to stop going for practices.
i hate this.
i told of my glory at 9:46 pm
Friday, 25 July 2008
chapter 161:
---
3 more days..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
you know, i realised i still dont know what's my focus sometimes.
i thought id grown negative of my own cca, wanting to give up, losing interest in it, letting people psycho me into skipping practices..
i thought i was bored of co already.
today, when miss tan told me that i dont have to attend practices until further notice, i wanted to say something, something in justice, something to show my disagreement to that arrangement.
but i couldnt say anything.
i went home, and i came out again.
many things flashed through my mind on my way to eunos.
on the bus, i thought back of my journey from when i was just a dizi player.
those moments of politics, those moments of happiness, those moments we fought after practices, those were the times in ZHSS whereby i was so into co and practised diligently.
when i got to NY last year, i got bored somehow. huifang was no longer so into practising at home. i was the only co member in class, before zijie joined co. felt so annoyed that i was always the only one tied to co in class, just cos im a DSA student.
this year, i felt that lazy to even go for practices. recently, or rather since the beginning of the year, id stopped going for sectionals. i only went for combined practices. and my attendance at the beginning of the year was not regular.
each time mr meng told me "AIYOH DONT GO LAH" id listen to him.
i really thought id given up hope on co, and only went to practices for the sake of the company i enjoyed- zhiwen, weijian, estelli etc..
but today on the bus, i cried.
lor..
school would lose its meaning without co practices.
school would be less entertaining, cos id be lack of a form of relaxation.
school seems mundane without co practice to play play play! :(
IM GOING FOR PRACTICE TMR OKAY.
now i know how much co means to me :DD
it's just like how i once thought he didnt matter much to me,
i thought i was numb cos i was negative about him too,
but i realised how much hurt was being inflicted on myself,
only when it was too late..
can someone teach me how to avoid such things from happening again? twice already..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i told of my glory at 10:49 pm
Thursday, 24 July 2008
chapter 160:
--
4 more days..
youre holding onto a hope which isnt present..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
day went well. MUGGER HUIFANG OKAY :D i started on MI tutorial already though mrs tan hasnt even called for MOD tutorial. OMG SIAO ON. tammy, jeanette and i were very much entertained by mrs tan during maths. her keeping "tammy, so what's the answer for..." and "STARE AT THE QUESTION! stare and you think also! otherwise you stare at the question for what!" HWOA HWOA HWOA. she's funny!
so yes, tests.. maths was a breeze. to the extent that i thought i mis-read the qn to be that easy =x and YEA, gp test was MURDER. mr tan kinda thought i was getting annoyed or what cos he asked ME in particular.
mr T "how you find the test?"
hf "quite difficult lo. some qns quite difficult.."
mr T "yah i know. im not the one who set the paper" *smiles
eh.. kinda scary? LOL. like i blaming him like that siol. but in fact i didnt say anything at all and was like.. half asleep! HA =x
TIRING DAY. and again tmr. there's SPA. spa not for you to relax in, but practical assesment :( prays hard.
YAWNS.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
downline is fighting.
im so proud of him.
i really am very proud of him.
first, he comes to welcome forum, sits through the whole thing and after 1 hr asks me "so what am i here for?".
then, he duplicates. i hadnt taught him duplication, i hadnt taught him tee up and he knew to greet managers the moment he stepped into the cubicle. it was just the 2nd day then. and he said he did that cos he saw me doing that..
he's been fighting.. enthusiastically closing sales on his own with his relatives, doing follow ups, building bond...
he's such a sensible boy..
ive not been a good upline.. im sorry..
sometimes i do offer a listening ear.
things about his girl,
things about his family..
so many problems..
he's a strong person..
i know he prolly wouldnt see this. maybe someone might tell him, maybe he would never read this.
but i know he knows im really proud of him :)
he makes me motivated to fight on.
cos i know, there's someone fighting along with me..
thank you..
i told of my glory at 9:52 pm
Wednesday, 23 July 2008
chapter 159:
-
5 more days..
void.. of all feelings..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
jeanette, bugs fly. therefore in conclusion, flu bugs do fly. HEEEE :D
on the other hand!
it gets
1. GHQ
my key leader,
gone.
i tried my best to make her my duplication. however, lack of experience permitted otherwise..
2. VV
my 2nd key leader, yet..
gone.
cos of.. 1 of the 5 golden rules. and her focus..
i couldnt help her much.
lack of experience too..
3. LLF
that was.. a hopeless case.
i had the patience many didnt.
im not complimenting myself.
but cos i saw she could succed.
but school, and she's not really there anymore..
4. ARA
in no way related to me, yet i did my best cos i knew she was strong. yet.. yet..
i am exprienced already.
i can now deal with more than i could in the past.
but she was not someone i could teach..
she was beyond what i could do..
IT'S ALRIGHT, IM STILL STANDING STRONG!!
in the meantime,
TMR IS MATHS AND GP TEST!! :D
=x lol..
i told of my glory at 9:51 pm
Tuesday, 22 July 2008
chapter 158:
policy of isolation.
im distant from everyone..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
a very very very hilariously coincidental thing happened just now.
i was at 190 settling some stuff, so when i was leaving, i met GARY in the lift with his downline, going for appointment. so yes, talked a little, and went our separate ways..
TO THINK THAT, when i alighted from 156 at bishan j8, HE WALKED OUT FROM THE MRT STATION!! lol! we left the same place to end up at the same place at the same time. LOL! super funny. he was kinda stunned to see me too ha! so their appointment was at bishan luh! HEEE :D
nothing much for the rest of the day. MATHS TEST TMR.. :(
i told of my glory at 9:32 pm
Monday, 21 July 2008
chapter 157:
7 more days..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
went to fareast plaza with miss L and mr J to deliver stock to XK's mom. miss L bought turkish food which tastes nice :D doner pancake. but the rice pudding was effing negative. oh well!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
im just wishing i had a million more wishes,
for you to treat me better,
for everything to be back to how it started with,
for you to be more sensitive to how i feel,
for you to be a better man,
for us to forgive our past..
i just wanna say a million sorries,
i can never make that number,
neither could i even make it one.
what a weakling.
i suck at expressing myself sometimes!
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
When u have to look away
When u don't have much to say
That's when i love u
I love u just that way
To here u stumble when u speak
Or see u walk with two left feet
What's when I love you
I love u endlessly
And when your mad cause u lost the game
Forget I'm waiting in the rain
Baby I love u
I love u anyway
Cause here's my promise made tonight
U can count on me 4 life
Cause that's when I love u
When nothing u do can change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love u
When I love u
No matter what
So when u turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie it made u cry
That's when I love u
I love u
A little more each time
And when u cant quite match you clothes
Or when u laugh at your own jokes
that's when I love u I love u
More then u know
And when u forgot that we had a date
Or that look that u give when u show up late
Baby I love u ,I love u anyway
So here's my promise made tonight
U can count on me 4 life
Cause that's when I love u
When nothing u do can change my moind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart cant get enough
That's when I love u
When I love u
No matter what
Ohh that's when I love u when nothing baby, nothing u do could change my mind
The more I learn, the more I love, the more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love u , when I love u no matter what
Ohhhh no matter what
i told of my glory at 10:06 pm
Sunday, 20 July 2008
chapter 156:
it's those moments of your unglamness that remain deeply etched in my mind till the day we part..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
day went horribly.
im tired.
i told of my glory at 10:21 pm
chapter 155:
it's those moments,
which make me feel the most pain,
reminiscing about them..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
today was co performance at marine parade cc. refer to nyjc-co.blogspot.com for details. it was just a crazy, fun, can-whore, loved performance. loved cos miss tan bought all of us dinner when dinner wasnt provided. so nice of my lovely ct right? and yea, the performance went well :D
performance ended great :)
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
so then my mood was totally ruined after the performance, cos today, i realise i hate you.
you think your wings have hardened and you can fly?
i f*cking hate you for taking away what i had before your appearance.
you took away my brother, took away my love, took away my opportunities.
made people turn against me,
made him so unaware of my presence unlike yours,
to the extent that he asks where you are when you arent there but he doesnt ask about me though the one he's supposed to care for is me.
ive decided,
im fighting back for what i f*cking hell deserve.
my position,
my glory,
my reputation.
youve spoilt too much of mine.
i seem to be hating every single person not in my "sister/brother" category.
im getting so tired of having to take all these shit from you bastards.
not being appreciated,
not saying thanks,
feeling so used,
feeling so raw,
feeling so stupid i ever agreed to help, to teach.
ive realised, my teachings are but those that make you better, but drain me of my qualities.
and when you stand alone, i get nothing, nothing at all.
good, youre independent, forgot who taught you, forgot who guided you.
it gets fucking annoying when i put in so much effing effort to teach you but you dont duplicate, you dont pass it on. even though im bloody hell not your upline, im not your comfort zone whereby you can run back to me when youre sad; and when youre happy youre a high flyer. f*ck. i am effing not a last resort.
dont ever msg me telling me which fu*cktard is cute; or he told you to msg him; or he said hi to you.
cos hello, he who told you to msg him has told me far beyond that,
he who said hi to you has communicated with me far more than that.
do you bloody hell think youre a very outstanding negotiator, a very outstanding bridge? actually, no, and you s*ck big time. cos no problem has been solved under your supposed analysis and action.
i told of my glory at 12:59 am
Friday, 18 July 2008
chapter 154:
today today today,
yet again the 18th of the month!! YAY!! :D
and yet occupied,
occupied,
occupied.
no time to even go out at night. how highly disappointing..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i didnt even feel like going to 190 today.
but i still went, cos i knew i had to.
but before that!! went to toa payoh to make class tee with tammy and jeanette. somehow i knew i had to go with them, though i didnt know why. but it was a great trip cos of them :DD many funny things happened:
1. tammy being scared by my chair video =x
2. tammy's misinterpretation of SWEET CORN.
3. jeanette's reminisce of her p5 time..
OKAY TAMMY FOON, IM REALLY GUILTY OKAY =x didnt expect that she'd shriek/scream/shriek. lol. so LOUDLY at the bus stop. oh man. so funny but i felt sooo guilty lah!! tammy was traumatised to the extent that after that when i took her pic and wanted to show her on my hp she closed her eyes. LOL!! but.. really feel bad luh =x SORRY DEAREST TAMMY!!
so yes, on the bus we were somehow somehow talking about food when jeanette said "sweet corn porridge" and STUPID tammy said "SWEET COCK".... WHAT the FISH!! made me and jeanette laugh like crazy lah!! =x
and yea, jeanette has been so pro in chinese since young okay, as in REALLY pro. lol. but oh well, shant go into details, but me and tammy laughed like mad over ru3 bao1....... X.x
IM FEELING DAMN LAZY AND I FORGOT TO BRING MY ERHU HOME AND I HAVE A PERFORMANCE TMR AND IT'S SUCH A PACKED DAY TMR!! ARGH!!
what a way to spend the 18h of a month..
i told of my glory at 11:29 pm
Thursday, 17 July 2008
chapter 153:
it was you who made me so positive,
so ready,
once again..
thank you, for being my motivator, for being you for who you are..
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today many things happened that are worth a blog post:
1. in house appointment (PERSONAL!) handled by mr steve.
2. challenge to MM against meijuan (a threat!)
3. the plague of FAKE mont blanc pens! (OMG)
4. miss lois NEGATIVE of me!! :( (actually it's kinda a joke)
5. mr N SUAGU (LOL)
OH YEA, miss lois said im SUPPOSED to go up onstage with the committee during the seminar last week cos im part of the committee, then asked me why didnt i go up. my reason? EVERYONE ONSTAGE WEARING BLAZER LEH, I DONT HAVE I PAISEH LAH!!
and she laughed happily :(
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i was contacted at 11am by mr ai, saying he wanted to drop by at 1pm to our showroom. total omg-ness. LAST MINUTE! called miss lois, mr meng and jimmy and no one could make it in time :( so miss lois tried her best to rush down, but mr ai reached at 12.30pm! ARGHS. in the end she asked mr steve to help :DD it went kinda good i guess, with mr steve's keng-ing skills sure no problem one xD so yes, mr ai's putting our spectrum into consideration. hope it closes!! :D
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CHALLENGE! mr yanlong, meijuan and i were at calling corner today when gary came by and said he closes a 1year package. he looked so happy that i believed him though mr YL and MJ were both saying he sure lie de. IN THE END IM THE ONE BEING CHEATED. stupid gary. then somehow or other, mr YL challenged me to fight with meijuan, see who would hit MM first. oh man! the deal is ONE BOX OF CALPHYTO!! SHIT MAN! scary!! but never mind!! i already got a headstart so i must go all out already!! :D stupid mr steve and mr nick and hobby uh!
mr steve said "i put my bet on you okay! i know you sure win one!" infront of many taurus comrades.
after that at calling corner,
mr nick said "eh yanlong! bet one cal elements with you leh! i say huifang will win! hahaha!!"
then at this point they started arguing whether cal elements or cal phyto is a better supplement. but of cos, i know theyre kidding. hahas. but omg man it's the first time im formally accepting a challenge, with SIGNING IN BLACK AND WHITE OKAY!! so now the challenge is pasted outside taurus' cubicle ha. damn it. as if im not popular enough yet.. =x LOL.
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FAKE MONT BLANC PENS!! omg man. those comrades who went to china trip came back with presents indeed. mr kit bought many fake mont blanc pens for the kta managers and idk-who bought calculators for all teams. LOL. and mr yanlong was insisting that his
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MISS LOIS NEGATIVE ME :( omg-ness totally sad please!! just now on the way to dinner she insists im NOT a falcon agent :( COS SHE SAYS IM A TAURUS AGENT, AND ASKED IF GIVEN A CHANCE, WOULD I RE-OPEN ACCOUNT UNDER MR STEVE AS HIS DIRECT X.x zzz. miss lois is so.. encouraging. then shoot me somemore, say about hit MM de. :( kinda sad lah! but she knows im positive de thats why she can keng me negative im still here. LOL.
AND I SAW 2 CATS HAVING SEX UNDER THE CAR. LI FUNG SAW ALSO! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!
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and oh yes, the most unhappening thing. mr nick is really funny. hah. he was in the lift with me when i was going up to level 3 to return the deco stuff to admin. so he touched the flower and asked "is it fake?" LOL.. it's obvious it's fake!! HAHA!! somemore i told him "reuse for dont know how many seminars already.." before he asked!! LOL. he's super super blur super super cute. then when we walked out of the lift he was like "aiyah suagu ma....." and he sounded damn sad please!! :DD
aiyah aiyah mr nick super cute eh!! :DD
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then again, he can communicate better with him. maybe it's because theyre guys? maybe because theyre neutral towards each other and nothing negative ever happened between them before? like what i told A, it's true that too many things happened between us that led us to be how we're like today. i cant talk freely, i cant express my feelings, i cant lament and tell my troubles and worries to him. even updates seem so redundant, not even able to be a reason for us to talk to each other properly.. where have those times gone to, those times when we sat there and talked about negativities? maybe im regretting. i dont want to regret. but im already regretting.
can you forgive me for my past mistakes, and let us start all over again, new beginning, new us?
it dont have to matter much whether ILU comes into the picture. she can always tell J she loves him for all that matters, but it doesnt have to be so here. all i need, is for you to show you care, and allow me to say, i care, i miss you, and really, thank you.
i need a listening ear..
i need a helping hand..
if i could just look for you...
i told of my glory at 10:55 pm
Wednesday, 16 July 2008
chapter 152:
it was nothing but a glimpse which accompanied for the day of today.
it amazes me when i really fight.
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tmr die die also must take picture with darren darren darren!! otherwise he cut hair le then pretty girl no more!!! :DD
okay that was random, but anyway!! james was being so evil today!!
i was leaving 190 when i met him at the lobby, so we took the lift up together.
james: why so early go home..? *in a whiny voice*
hf: hmm. i got school tmr mahhs.. haha.
james: dont go lah.. dont go study lahh.. heehee!
hf: CANOT AH! must study hard one okay..
james: never mind lah drop out lah i also drop out already lo. hahahaha!!
*laughs evilly all the way till we walk to the entrance.*
STUPID JAMES RIGHT!!
but oh well, hahas. he's really cute lah!! LOLs. to think last time we never talked before even though we knew each others' existence. hah.
so yes, today really settled down and called, called, called, called. darren and mr zhenting were distractions!! cos mr zhenting's dopod phone has fun games okayyy then stupid darren was sitting beside me playing!! HAHA. but it's okay to relax after calling calling okay :DD
it's how much i want it, then im willing to go through how much to get it.
THATS THE WAY MAN :DD
keep up the momentum, keep the motivation coming baby!
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oh yah, i just love to annoy tammy with the "see ya REAL soon!"
LOL. tammy's LOVE :DDDDD
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from TAMMYYY~
The 5 chosen ones to do this quiz are:
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
I DONT KNOW WHO READS MY BLOG =x
Name 20 people whom you can think of right now.Don't read the questions till you've named 20 people.At the end of this, choose 5 people to do this.
1)tammy
2)jeanette
3)azura
4)upline
5)darren
6)myron
7)james goh
8)weijian
9)zhiwen
10)lynette
11)ester
12)xavier
13)mr meng
14)miss L
15)mr AK (idk why his name appeared in my mind)
16)zihui
17)corinne
18)mr S
19)derrick
20)hobbyyyy
Q1:How did you meet 14?
when i was introduced to an opportunity, to the greatest place to be :D
Q2:What would you do if you've never met 1?
school would be effing boring this year :(
Q3:What if 9 and 20 dated?
yea right. theyre girls lol.
Q4:Will 16 and 17 date?
theyre upline downline, and theyre girls lol.
Q5:Describe 3?
stupid bangalarrr, short fart. :D
Q6:Describe 7?
cute, funny, a*shole xD
Q7:What would you do if 18 confess to you that he/she likes you?...
hahas. id flip, and die happy
Q8:Who is 9 going out with?
hmmm.. LOL~
Q9:When was the last time you talk to 13?
2 days ago? :(
Q10:Who is 2's favourite band/singer?
IDK LEH =x
Q11:Would you ever date 4?
LOL. he's my UPLINE.
Q12:Would you ever date 1?
HAHA TAMMY LOVES ME ALOT ALREADY =x
Q13:Is 19 single?
yepps.
Q14:Would you ever be in relationship with 11?
id become a les!
Q15:School of 3?
SP.
Q16:Where does 6 live?
IDK LEH. never asked him before.
Q17:What is your favourite thing of 5?
errrh, TEA BAGS? though i still dont know the story behind that!
Q18:Have you ever seen 10 naked?
HELL NO! LOL..
i told of my glory at 10:57 pm
Tuesday, 15 July 2008
chapter 151:
it's a blank,
what a boring day without you~
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stupid azura made me smile today. smile like some stupid idiot. all thanks to her msgs and her phonecall. oh man. azura sucks lah please. never fails to make me so so so happy and smile to myself by being the "bridge" as what she calls herself. on top of that her sense of humour kind of sucks cos her jokes are really no link and no logic at times, but well, thats what i love about azura the bangalarrrr :DDD
in addition, i didnt go for co as i had something on today.
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a little negative not relating to ve. but rather, lfe..
it gets real tiring,
when i try to help you,
and each time you push me away.
i wanna help, i wanna care. but each time it's the same thing all over again.
ignoring me as and when you feel like it, talking to me when you feel like it..
hey girl, im tired of being your alternative source of comfort.
i can no longer tolerate your tantrums.
please, grow up..
this is not where you can still be pampered and guided.
it's a rat race, everyone's running, fighting, no one's gonna stop to help you.
it hurts really when a fren i treasure has to disappoint me this way.
and it aint only me thinking this way.
another buddy's tired of this too.
it's really fucking tiring and disappointing you know, when we try and you do this to us.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
on the other hand, im still fighting on, not giving up. yes it may seem otherwise, but do you know whats going on in my mind? :)))
tmr's class phototaking. TILL THEN!! :D
i told of my glory at 10:25 pm
Monday, 14 July 2008
chapter 150:
you'll owe me that one buck fifty for as long as we co-exist :)
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i love my idol alot :D
and his downline knows.
oh well, it's this, give and take. LOL.
slideshow was hosted by mr steve and mr yanlong!! :D great hosts! especially the 2 of them put together :)))
mood was high,
company theme song was great,
SHA and KTA were great,
MISS JASMINE IS A GREAT SPEAKER!! :D
zihui, meijuan and hobby are still very crazy.
NETWORKING IS CRAZAYYYEEE!! :DD
i told of my glory at 9:57 pm
Sunday, 13 July 2008
chapter 149:
悲欢岁月唯有爱是永远的神话
谁都没有遗忘古老 古老的誓言
你的泪水化为漫天飞舞的彩蝶
爱是翼下之风两心相随自在飞
你是我心中唯一美丽的神话
a beautiful legend~
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oh tuition was f up today.
miss lois didnt tell me stories today cos she had to leave for dinner.
that kinda ends my day.
oh yea, only highlight was miss corrine and zihui coming to talk to me with the damn-it-idk-how-to-describe tone. i tried answering in that tone but was tired of having to come up with different tones each time i talked. LOL. i wonder how they keep up with that accent. HA. miss lois was kinda stunned. oh well, miss corrine is.. as mad as us luh :D
wonder what will happen if zihui, hobby, miss corrine and i go shopping together. oh i think it's gonna be.. chaos. *just a random thought.
oh by the way, GP project kinda sucks.w
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男：心在飞 女：心在飞
男：路很长 女：路很长
男：我们是彼此的避风港
男：听着你 女：还不理（？）
男：聊到从前和未来
男女：你心里所有的梦 跟我很像
合：Oh you light up my life
所以我也希望我们心中频率都一样
女：梦加点感觉
男：思念装上翅膀
合：爱是无限可能的飞翔
Oh—You light up my life
我想让你分享
我们心动时分的梦想
女：这是一个开始
男：还是一种分享
男女：未来正在等待不是吗
这些日子看着你
造着自己的梦想
快乐专心的每个样子
我想我们的梦想有一样的频率
不是吗?
i told of my glory at 11:59 pm
Saturday, 12 July 2008
chapter 148:
6 more days to the 18th,
16 more days to the 28th :)))
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today i was really happy.
there's no flowery language to describe my whole day, but i was happy, really.
co practice, parkway parade, and was happy at 190 too :D
i'll talk about 190 first, since my day ended at 190. was doing calling today with mr yanlong, hobby, mr mark, and this guy called brandon from blue rhino. hahas. mr yanlong was singing away xDD LOLs. nice okay :)
and me and amelia had dinner at pkms. FISH NUGGET!! :DD nice!! but made me SMELL like fish nugget when i went back to 190. took the lift with mr steve somemore. SO PAISEH PLEASE..
and my loveliest upline is so negative about me that when i change new file, he take my old file and scrape away my name before using it :( my PINK file. lol. he wanted it. not that i wanna give him 2nd hand. lol. but anyways, stupid upline dont wanna teach me things in the evening :( he say only if got night training then teach me. so azura can stay, he teach azura dont want teach me :(((
STUPID UPLINE RIGHT! SO NEGATIVE ABOUT ME :(
sad ah sad ah!
and he thought i emo today. LOL. when i was really just stoning cos i was so tired. then he was like "dont emo leh!!" TOTALLY LOLS..
co practice was a blast today, really. we managed to get the whole song out. "mi" is a really nice song after all, and it's really really fun when we get it down as a whole orchestra. plus, today the stupid office staff were testing out the PA systems. they tested it for.. 3 hours? damn. we were playing the song and there would periodically be this person who'd read out some random ads, speak some random and funny stuff etc. SPOIL MOOD PLEASE!! =x but was fun, kept laughing and doing funny actions across the co room with weijian and zhiwen.
went out for lunch after that at the coffeeshop outside school (SO NEGATIVE HAHAHA) but after that we went to parkway parade. zhiwen, weijian and i were.. gossiping? errrr, maybe not. we were EATING all the way on the bus. when we reached parkway, weijian wanted to eat agai. he'd already eaten like, sliced fish beehoon, 1 packet of potato chips, 1 cup of potato chips, and 1 packet of tempura seaweed. seriously, THATS ALOT. and guess what, after zhiwen had left, me and weijian went to ya kun. LOLLLL. the EGGGGS xDDD it's a common love okayyy :DD
then after that.. went to take bus. wahahs. stupid weijian took a picture of me LOL. dont even know how to say, is it nice or is it not. LOL =x
I WANT TO GO CLUBBING
I WANT TO TURN 18
I WANT TO HAVE PROMOS EXAM QUICK QUICK
I WANT TO PROMOTE TO J2
I WANT TO HIT MANAGER!!
thank you for all youve done for me,
giving me chances after chances,
i'll fight on,
i'll try my best.
please continue to believe in me.
i wont disappoint you.
i told of my glory at 10:20 pm
Friday, 11 July 2008
chapter 147:
black&white,
white&black.
it just depends on how you see things :D
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had a looong chat with darren darren darren today :DD
initially was just talking about.. nothing in particular.
and we ended up exchanging experiences- keng-ing 1-3day MEs, committing single part payments, recruitments, ups, downs, fucked-up experiences, wrongs, rights, PRODUCT KNOWLEDGE :DD
yayyy mr darren is an aspiring
glad to have buddies like him at 190 whereby i can look for and learn from. darren has taught me much indeed! :)))
and he's not going mdis already. LOL. indecisive a*s lah he. but oh well, please dont remind me of how mentally torturous jc education is to me :( HAHA. but anyways, i still havent taken picture with darren :( HE CAME WITH GLASSES TODAY LAH!!! nerd nerd xDDD
*fragmented thoughts today, thus a disorganised post.
yet again, a journey home filled with lots of questions on my mind.
it's weird,
to know youre sad,
to know youre disappointed in me.
cos after all, ure the first person i trusted,
first person who saw me cry there..
it's just this unexplainable bond which isnt that kind of love.
it's beyond that ALREADY..
and yes, i once again disobeyed you today.
you were trying to help, i know.
but i had other plans i couldnt communicate to you.
im sorry..
im inspired to go take up hip hop or taekwandoooooooo!!! xDD
oh man, and my parents say i can choose something to take up!! :)
sponsored by them!! CALL ME A SPOILT KID :DD
but well, thats the way i are. :D
love me for that yea!
i told of my glory at 11:20 pm
chapter 146:
it's how daring you get,
no, fairygodmother did not see it.
actually, she did. she frowned at that.
you missed that :)
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today was quarterly seminar.
i took a cab down, and in the end i still had to go on yet another errand for miss lois. but before that, i was standing there talking to miss lois in conrad's seminar hall when mr S came over and stood beside. oh man. this is so getting out of hand. i started talking weird when he did something. =x then went to suntec with azuraaaa to get the stuff miss lois wanted. came back and remade the committee nametags again. oh well. then yet again, he walked past, and was looking, and i did weird things. put the paper and penknife aside together. then i work on what huh? weird man. then azura was with the ????? face. =x but when i greeted him he sounded so gentle please, almost melted into the floor.. x)))
seminar was great, boss was great, speeches were great, ended on time :D and ended with a loud bang. totally. they showed a video of the committee's preparation for the seminar and YEA, MY NAME WAS THERE TOO :DD DECO DECO!! x) whole committee was onstage but i didnt go up, COS IM NOT WEARING A BLAZER AND EVERYONE ELSE WAS.. =x please lah i have a sense of... shame? hais. miss lois really expected me to hit MM before seminar man.. thats why she put me on the committee.. in the end, the stupid LV miscalculation.. zzz!! BUT NEVERTHELESS, seminar was fun :DD and ended with theme song, and mr steve was like "venture era you guys rock the house man!!" think he gone too much clubbing huh. LOL.... =x
ouh yeah,
I DIDNT GET TO TAKE PICTURE WITH DARRENNNN!! :(
stupid lah! falcon finish taking pictures already then mako still taking pics :(
i told of my glory at 12:13 am
Wednesday, 9 July 2008
chapter 145:
there's only one you in the world,
the only you who would say i look FUNNY in uniform.
ASS..
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my results for mid years are finally out.
GP- E
maths H2- S
chem H2- D
econs H2- U
form a "USED". lol =x
no surprises of the U over there. but im glad at least i did relatively okay for chem LOL :D passed my GP. i was the ONLY student who attempted the question on music in my class and i passed :D HAH. but yea, still missing out on H1 lit. LOL. i dont wanna think about it man. out of point essay and analysis =x BLEH! HAHA.
im too tired to even blog much.
seminar's tmr.
IM SO GONNA HAVE FUN..
taking pictures with darren!!:DD LOL.
when two cute people get together, it's gonna be a disaster xDDDw
i told of my glory at 10:21 pm
Tuesday, 8 July 2008
chapter 144:
it's a tiring journey moving on..
sometimes it's so difficult just to say "help me"..
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i did everything,
and failed,
i think.
LOL. it was a great experience though :)))
and stupid darren is bloody hell racist =x
oh yea, i wonder why the scene in the cafe kept replaying in the mind. yesterday, me and mr mengwee were at the cafe cos i accompanying him for lunch, then mr steve came over and commented about the soup then sat down beside me and 3 people stoned there. LOL. then he was like "BORED, theyre taking so long" HAHAA damn random please. but yea, OH WELL :)
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HAPPY 8 MONTHS BOYFRIEND :DD
introducing my boyfriend of 8 months!!
his name is..
VE GROUP :DD
through these 8 months, ive changed, i learnt, ive loved, ive laughed and ive cried. happiness, anger, dissatisfaction, love, care, concern, friends, betrayal, been through these and much more. i believe VE group is a place whereby i will change for the future. be it whether i'll stay to be a car achiever in VE, i believe VE made an impact on my life.
my long long elaboration on those bros and sisters, I'LL KEEP IT. but basically,
I LOVE ALL MY VE BUDDIES :DDD
and those shit i've been through, keep them away. those happiness i've been through, i'll cherish those times. cos you wont know what will happen, you wont know when happiness leaves, so while youre at it, make the best out of it, for yourself to have no regrets.
regrets of not fighting,
regrets of the inability on my part such that im not able to keep my people,
regrets of wrong things ever said,
regrets of all wrong i've done,
regardless towards my downlines, my upline, my car achiever..
tmr you'll see a brand new HUIFANG. more powerful than ever, stronger than ever, and i'll prove, im worth it to help..
i dont want to have any more regrets after this..
i told of my glory at 11:12 pm
Monday, 7 July 2008
chapter 143:
it really scares me at times,
but sometimes it's just the thrill,
the past which haunts me.. :)
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slideshow + badge presentation was good. though i wasnt onstage receiving my MM badge, i was down there cheering with SHA, with KTA. really, the feeling of cheering as KTA + SHA felt better than even cheering as house of red.. there's this.. LOVE BETWEEN THE 2 ASSOCIATES LUH =x but yes, i couldnt stay for the cheer session :( to think that b4 slideshow started mr wen bin said "ehhh later we go up together ok!!" then gary also OKOKOK. :( NEVER MIND. seminar is coming soon..
but yea, with darren we were sneaking gossips. LOL =x no good to gossip. but good to build bond :DD but oh well. and amelia and i almost died laughing at this guy who made a REALLY funny ME speech. this one and only KTA guy who was promoted to ME. ha. his speech was funny YET illuminating okay..
so yes, day ended like that. from today i officially proclaim-
huifang would no longer help in doing small products, brilliant comp debrief training.
those she would help in are PP, BP, CS, pablo&bruno debrief, family tree, appointment fixing.
magnetic presentation + commit single depending on circumstances.
im tired of being told to do things i dont want to, things i dont like to, things i dont want to help people with. sometimes im just so occupied with duties delegated to me, yet just to get my help, you can just say you'll do the rest for me. why dont you do the training yourself then? since youre so free? F please. im not selfish. im thinking for myself please. i needa fight for myself too. thanks.
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so yes, again had a talk with azura. i didnt want to. i
i've really changed.
i know i did.
to put it nicely, im independent.
to put it crudely, im over confident, arrogant, over independent to the extent i forget my roots.
it has disappointed someone. he told me.
and today i realise, i've disappointed another person.
im sorry i am who i am today. but it's those people who fucking made use of me who made me who i am today. it was no doubt with mr steven's consultations, and other BMs and CAs support who taught me how to improve my PP. but did you know, it was that period of time during which i felt so alone, so alone, so alone?
it was then that subconsciously, i grew over-conscious of how people looked at me and thus became
i started to become negative at slightest comments about you.
i grew negative about you.
to think i thought you were the world to me,
yet i was so easily shaken.
i was so easily influenced..
at the same time, dearest, you changed too.
maybe it was because i was that way.
but i will still love you for who you are.
i just dont know how to tell you i care..
and how to say im sorry..
for you~
zhe ge shi jie wei yi de ni
shi wo yong you de qi ji
dui wo shuo de yi zi yi ju
dou shi wo men de mi mi
jing jing yong bao wei yi de ni
wu ke jiu yao de jian ding
jiu suan shi jie yu wo wei di
wo ye yuan yi
wo shen me dou yuan yi
i told of my glory at 10:21 pm
Sunday, 6 July 2008
chapter 142:
sometimes strangers make better lovers
than good friends,
dont you agree?
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SHA + KTA grouping was cool. played a game of total unglam-ness and lame-ness.
suddenly i think my inference skills are abso-fucking-lutely good.
and really, how do you describe HUGO BOSS without words and without speaking?
and oh yeah, mr nick's duplication skills suck. LITERALLY. =x
had a great laugh really, over funny transformations. from wrestling, their actions became.. dancing. twirl your partner. totaly madness at level 3.
cheer session was good. with miss ain, miss ata and miss ervie, plus miss lois, mr wenbin, mr mingyao, mr steve, mr nick, mr leon. notice how everyone has a miss/mr in front? but im not yet miss huifang. how disappointing yes. but theyre real nice. then we gathered the people who were still there and taught them the ve cheer we came up with.
stupid wenbin has problems coordinating his hands with his mouth. cant cheer and do the claps together properly. =x in the end i kept laughing at him omg. he's super funny, he's super cute and he was beside me all that while. reminds me of the time i once called him million$$$ smile. hmm..
tired :(
tmr im gonna go shopping for an hour.
restrict myself.. :)
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would you rather listen to me talk,
or listen to my silence..?
i told of my glory at 10:48 pm
Saturday, 5 July 2008
chapter 141:
it's a blank..
it's a blank..
a blank when i see you...
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
how can a person feel so much at one time?
doesnt their mind want to explode?
so negative, doesnt it make them wanna die?
so negative, how do they move on?
so negative..
so negative..
im practising how to keep it to myself.
i didnt msg azura.
i didnt msg derrick.
i never msg miss lois.
i never msg mr mengwee.
i didnt msg MB.
i didnt msg ANYONE..
isnt this pretty much a useless post?
im just trying to keep my mind occupied on something while kai bu liao kou is playing on my computer..
i want to rant on and on and on..
i adored you so much yet time after time you threw my heart onto the ground and smashed it into pieces.
it used to just be you, me, and our nasty guardian in the past.
then came along a big bad wolf, a lousy whore and a nutcase.
attention was divided among them, and you left me aside.
thrown aside..
then the nasty-guardian-turned-lovely became my only form of console..
but now i've taken one step back..
i want it back to the past..
can i? please..?
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
it used to be "US" last year. what happened?
just because im being retained?
just because i joined venture era?
joey moves on and goes with the retainees in her class.
you all move on, reminiscing about the times, getting together often.
but me? im still stuck here,
stuck here..
alone..
especially you buddy,
i hate you you idiot.
you promised you wouldnt forget me.
you told me school life seemed so mundane without me.
you told me it was so weird not having me around.
you told me you kept thinking back of those times we had last year.
those fun times..
but you took me for granted you bastard.
you
im sorry love,
im sorry..
i told of my glory at 11:42 pm
chapter 140:
it's the changes i experience,
you seem to be so much of an influence :)
positive influence..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
just came home from a movie outing with falcons + mr leon and miss heidi. hahas. went to watch hancock. NICE :DD
mr leon, jingwen, amelia and i were waiting for NR. then we realised that the stupid stop we were at DIDNT HAVE THE DIRECTORY!! =x in the end mr leon flagged down the first bus to arrive, a NR7, to ask the driver which is the NR which goes to my house, even though i'd already taken NR so many times, but cos i dont know what!! LOL.
mr L "how come u dont know what NR to take even after taking it so many times!!"
hf "harrr, cos everytime is either mr mengwee or someone else check for me.. then tell me what bus to take.."
mr L "AIYOH SPOONFED LAH!!"
but in the end when NR1 came he still flagged it and helped me ask the driver whether it goes to bishan :DD then told me to board heeeeee :) TOLD YA IM A PAMPERED KID :DD
but THANKS LEH :DD
he wont read this, but i believe he FEELS my sincerity!! :))))))
and yea, super funny. we were having problems finding our way to level5 carpark to get to miss heidi's car before that. LOL..
SLEEP!! =x
i told of my glory at 3:04 am
Thursday, 3 July 2008
chapter 139:
he knew what he wanted in life
and he gave up what wouldnt help him in it..
i wanna be like you,
cos i wanna find my goal in life..
thats my idol through and through..
and i find myself looking forward to the 18th again.. will there be?
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
some random thoughts~
i want to
have my first car by 23,
have my first million by 26,
have splendid grades :DD
enter SMU,
fight for my first goal in work,
love the meow meow :DD
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it's so easy for me to communicate with people, whether i know them or not.
yet sometimes when it gets too close, it gets kind of difficult to even say something as easy as thank you, im sorry.. you know, face to face..
sometimes i really wanna thank you for being there for me,
sometimes i really wanna tell them how much you mean to me,
sometimes i really wanna let you know how much im willing to stand through with you,
yet always, it seems so difficult for me to just tell you so..
it's all about communication..
it's all about giving..
it's all about sharing..
it's all about me, taking the first step towards YOU..
i love it this way it is now.
that's how it is,
no doubt lacking in many areas..
but somehow im glad the situation has changed for the better..
i told of my glory at 10:21 pm
Wednesday, 2 July 2008
chapter 138:
too much wrong done,
too little to correct it.
physically, i've moved on,
yet my heart remains..
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my block is F unlucky.
1. once, there was a cab which crashed right into our void deck, stopped only by a pillar and the pillar was... ruined. no one was injured.
2. beginning of 2008, a small tile from the roof dropped. area along the sheltered pathway between 210 and 209. no one was injured.
3. a
im wondering if it'll leak if it rains..
but anyways,
but anyway, STUPID STUPID HDB IS FALLING INTO PIECES!! HELP!!!!!
lol. crazy.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
a new beginning,
a new fighting spirit.
i trust i will believe and i will follow.
i wont disappoint you ever again.
i promise..
once you go offline it seems meaningless to look at my msn screen..
i love you the way you are,
i know youre reading my blog,
i know you cant accept my love,
but take it as admiration i have,
for someone i trust,
someone i care for,
someone i believe in..
could you?
passions lighted, dreams to be shared..
i told of my glory at 11:13 pm
Tuesday, 1 July 2008
chapter 137:
ni de shen qi
huan hua zhe mei yi shu sheng jie de huo guang
rang mei yi ge meng xiang dou kan de jian
ni de guang mang
zhao liang zhe mei yi ke xi yue de xin
xiang tian kong yi yang qing lang
ni de huo yan
zhao yao zhe mei yi ge bei meng chu mo
cong ci bu zai ping fan de sheng ming
ni de guang mang
zhao liang zhe mei yi ke xi yue de xin
xiang tian kong yi yang qing lang
dian ran zhe ji qing si huo chuan di zhe meng xiang
ji qi wo men yong bao de li liang
zhao liang zhe si mian ba fang
he xie de tian ying hui xiang
ge chang ni de rong guang
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today was a bad day which ended well :D
derrick, jac and hobby are CRAZY. especially stupid derrick with the bangala-ish outfit HAHA. stupid azura lah! insult him!! she can never stop insulting him and his laoda de loh! GRR!! =x
but yea, they were being real funny ha. kns i tag on derrick's blog become i gotta treat him, jac and hobby. !!! BULLY ME :(
OH WELL.. but theyre such fun people :DD
but still, stupid upline said im stupid downline cos i said he's stupid upline. LOL. is the word "stupid"? i kinda forgot, but is something negative lah. LOL. =x
and well, miss jam, miss zhiying and miss qiuyun were helping falcons with the sticks for the VE flags for sem. HAHA.
okay my post is very much scattered.
im just.
very
dis
orientated. =x
TIRED!! :(
i told of my glory at 10:41 pm