Friday, 6 March 2009
probably you can say im hostile,
you can say im being a bastard,
you can say im being a arrogant person.
i dont deny.
but i realised that as im too caught up with caring for others, being selfless, (whatever you call it) i will forget about myself.
i revert to the me in the past.
huifang before she joined ve was a person who is very impatient and snaps at everyone and anyone.
huifang after she joined ve became a person who is more caring, more friendly, more approachable, more helpful. bragging? no.
ve taught me these, and i became more conscious of how i portray myself as an individual, as a leader.
but now, stepping up as a manager, there're too many roles i have to fulfil, too many things i have to do. like what upline said, "it gets tiring, really tiring. when your people dont listen to what you say."
last month was a trauma too me. seriously. i did too many things wrong, too many things too late.
im reverting back to my old self.
but i dont want to have regrets this month.
so it's back to the old-school way:
aggressive.
if being a nice person and pampering people gives them the liberty to depend on me far too much than what is allowed, sorry, i have to draw a largely-defined line.
if giving in all the time will make people think im overly nice,
then im sorry. i have to be harsh when things start to get out of hand.
if helping others means i have to jeopardise my own organisation,
sorry. i have to care for my guys.
and i guess ive been suppressing myself for far too long.
i pity people who say they want to fight and do not show it through their actions.
because i had that problem before and i experienced far too many regrets.
and i know they will be sad when they have no result and are sad cos they think they tried hard.
i abhore people who doubt their upline/ manager/ bm/ bgm.
if youre so good, why not prove youre better than them by getting a higher position?
i despise people who cannot accommodate others' shortcomings into their heart.
cos i once spent 6 months trying to break into someone's "narrow" heart.
i hate people who dont listen when i answer them after they ask me.
cos im being nice, and im not for your convenience.
now people are saying that huifang doing 10k pv this month is impossible.
upline thinks huifang can only do 680pv for him this month (which is what is already incom).
mr steven told me "fighting for cruise ma?" i told him yes.
but out there, during a BM meetup, people are laughing when upline reports huifang to do a 10k pv this month.
all people see is huifang helping others and not helping her own upline.
all people see is huifang being a leech on her upline.
so sorry guys,
no matter who you are,eh can
how you are related to me,
whatever position you are,
dont ask me for help unless necessary.
it's just for this month.
cos this is my last month in ve as a full timer b4 i enter poly.
if i can help you, it's the issue of next month.
i have to do this 10k pv this month no matter what.
doing the planning for my organisation didnt even feel tiring, painful, stressful, tough, difficult, or anything. but i just felt empty within.
because i know that this month,
it's a do or die situation.
we qualify for the cruise together, or we die together.
we clear a 10k pv for upline's car, or we lose together.
whats the problem, you may ask.
let me tell you the answer to it.
i grew up too fast in the past few days.
ive realised that it's no longer all about me and upline but me, my organisation, and upline. upline is just there as a shining star, but i have to lead my guys to find our goal.
ive been behaving too much like a immature ME, even after i started wearing the blazer.
but now, it's time to step out.
and make a difference,
and show others what a true red falcon leader is like.
and also, to show that today,
huifang, 107002, marketing manager,
is capable of training up leaders ON HER OWN,
able to create a 10k pv turnover,
and be a miracle, create a legacy, be a talking point,
and be a leader in red falcon.
we'll see who has the last laugh.
and upline is being nice after being hostile.
loNG JuN ™.. Tomorrow Success Is Today Sacrifices says:
i confirm have the last laugh
loNG JuN ™.. Tomorrow Success Is Today Sacrifices says:
you know why i have the last laugh?
loNG JuN ™.. Tomorrow Success Is Today Sacrifices says:
cos i sure hit car
we'll see, longjun. (:
i told of my glory at 11:30 pm