Sunday, 30 November 2008
i do not take high interest in SIM ZHIYONG!
gahhh. im not biased against mr nick.
but i just got sabotaged by miss corinne.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
i think i got a phobia of the SIMs.
i told of my glory at 9:53 pm
i know it's a new venture im stepping into.
because im gonna make an effort to go through the SE journey once again. my journey to ME was a rush. i skipped too much.
i seem like an experienced ME even other groups' managers look for me for help. but hey, theres alot ive missed out on do you all know?
let me see. i should prolly have a checklist.
-
- attend NDWS (tuesday nights: BDA of S&R, product class etc) to learn opening + closing speech, technique to make a prospect listen
- 5 golden rules, 8 pointers to success, company hierachy, tee up
- how to build up an organisation
- phone technique for business partners
- b role, water pp - relearn and modify to be more impact
- magnetic pp - relearn and modify to be more impact
- teaching phone technique
-
- tee up
- tee up
- CS ^^
TEE UP IS VERY IMPORTANT!
should learn and re-learn. prolly through my one year of JC everything is lost already =x except for my b role and magnetic pp which ive recently modified. even my water pp which used to be friggin impact is abit rusty cos i havent done it for some time =/ but then again, my skills are not really approved of as "GOOD" yet. haha. damn. took me long enough to realise okay.
should look to have CS with:
mr calvin mr steve miss jasmine miss dawn mr jasonquek
mr jiuyuan (if i do see him) mr shunjie (if he can) miss chelsy
of cos, besides my own BGM/BAM mr steven :D
theyre all very focused/ impact/ aggressive car achievers/ BGMs. and yea, i'll keep looking out for more people to learn from! :D
i told of my glory at 12:34 pm
Saturday, 29 November 2008
today was a nice day :D
cottage waffle place de waffles VERY NICE okay!
things to do:
1. CS with mr calvin
2. CS with mr steve
3. CS with miss jasmine
4. dec: attend NDWS.
hello, im huifang, ID number 7002. im a SA in the company (:
A NEW BEGINNING!! :D
i told of my glory at 10:29 pm
huifang is sorry to those she's done wrong to.
she has so much more to learn.
the debrief today made her realise how insignificant she still is to the whole of falcon.
huifang chooses to hide when she faces a problem.
she chooses to push it to others to handle it for her.
she is unable to break through this,
but trust her. she will learn. she will..
huifang chooses to apologize for anything gone wrong.
she always hates to face it.
but chooses to avoid it.
she's done too much wrong to even ask for any form of forgiveness.
but she will emerge as a different being.
currently, she's happy. she really is.
but maybe her happiness lies beyond what you imagine.
it's not the money, it's not the career.
it's not the bonds, it's not the mentors she have.
but it's the combination of everything.
and everything seems to go so well together..
and when everything comes together, crashing down,
nothing seems to work for her..
but she will work on till what she achieves is beyond what you can imagine her to achieve..
i told of my glory at 12:36 am
Friday, 28 November 2008
well well well, today was basically any typical day at office. GAHHH. mr mengwee bully me into treating him half a lunch ): hahas. but anyway, the birthday star miss corinne didnt come for lunch with us LOR ): heehee. miss corinne is OLD already okayyyys ^^
besides that, tio debriefed by mr steven today x.x gahhhh. my bad. hais. gotta learn so much more. so much so much more to learn. and omg, he wants to give me a locker and 2 ve polo tees O.O i dno man, hahas. maybe he'll forget about it. oh wells~
and today.. GAH. unglam-ed. cos mr steve came over to ask me if i could help out with taurus side for 7pm product presentation. i HAPPILY agreed to, then just when he thanked me and walked away i was like "EHHH MR STEVE! i forgot.. i got an agent coming down for coffee =x"
AHHHHHHHH so embarrassing. but he was like... oh nevermind.. oh man =x
oh yea, malcolm called me. EH SHOCKED OKAY. the last time we contacted one another was.. 6 years ago. and when he called me just now i was kinda shocked :D he was with wai lok. and stupid wai lok was at the background "AIYAH HUIFANG DONT REMEMBER ME ALREADY LAH!" but i still remember... *why lock the door* heheh. used to be the class joke okay. so yea, malcolm called me cos he said wanna meetup after the poly students finish their exams. cos those guys who are in JC would be enlisting soon..
yet another batch of guys soon to go for ns.. HAIS..
anyways, i love my emo little chicken (:
he says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
i wonder if he knows he's all i think about at night
he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
the only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
he's the song in the car i keep singing, don't know why i do..
and my qin ai de dumbo ester tan, please recover from your kidney stones. you know i cant bear to lose a friend like you. the one who cried with me when i lost my position back in secondary school, the one who stood with me during our duty times..
i told of my glory at 11:12 pm
Thursday, 27 November 2008
HUIFANG IS A HAPPY GIRL TODAYYY :D
today morning was already full of laughs. miss corinne came over to falcon's cubicle to "di siao" me. ends up she left her phone charging there and went up to do a coffee session so i took care of her phone for her.
so, teck wee called her phone. but since it's a saved number, i shall leave it. but 15 minutes later, an unsaved number called her phone. so i took the call..
hf- "hello?"
unknown caller- "hello corinne?"
hf- "uh corinne is not at her phone now. can you call back later?"
unknown caller- "who are you?"
hf- "uhhhh. her colleague."
unknown caller- "orh okay thanks."
the caller's voice sounded highly familiar but i didnt know who it was! so i did not reveal my identity to this mystery caller...
then, miss corinne came down. and i showed her the missed call and she was like "oh! thats mr calvin's camp number. aiyoh!" so she called his handphone, but he did not take her call. then, 2 minutes later, while she was on the company's line, the number called back again! so she indicated for me to take the call for her..
hf- "hello?"
mr calvin- "hello corinne?"
hf- "corinne on the line leh. she's using company phone.."
mr calvin- "orh. who are you?"
hf- "uhhh mr calvin, im huifang la."
mr calvin- "ORH!! okay haha. she on the line ah?"
hf- "uhhh yah. haha. you wait for her to get off the line lo."
HAHA SUPER EMBARRASSING PLEASE!
no wonder i found the voice of the caller so familiar. it's mr calvin lo. wahahas. in the end was cos he wanted miss corinne to take his 3pm recruitment for him. hahas. ehh solid okay, he's left with 20,000lv (i think) to his BGM position. woohoo~ 1st youngest car achiever in the company dont play play one okay
and yes, today 3pm mass job briefing session at level 3 was damn LOLs okay. me and miss corinne were typing msgs on our handphone to communicate to one another. at one point, her stomach growled =x and the following "conversation" took place..
corinne- "my stomach just growled hee"
hf- "ya. i heard okay. lol. but good leh, shows that fight! cos mr meng say fight le will busy till forget to eat one!"
corinne- "ya! but then why zihui still havent slim down!"
hf- "HAHAHAHAH!"
is damn funny okay. me and her were like, wanna laugh cannot laugh cos of her stomach growling LOL.
then was like, she CS-ing me luh! cos were talking about company's youngest car achievers and she told me i should go look for mr calvin for CS 1-to-1 so that i can learn from him. so i must DARE TO ASK! LOL. damn funny luh she! so she was like, telling me to just ask, or she will ask for me and add in alot of uhhh, extra stuff. LOL.
so yes, gonna ask for a CS with him this weekend! ^^
YAY!
inspire me~
AND SHE SAID I LOOK LIKE HAMSTER SO CUTE AND PINCHED MY CHEEKS! ARGHH!!!!
shy lehhh!!
so before i left office, was talking at the smoking area (IM NOT SMOKING) with derrick and zihui. wtf sio zihui sabo me okay. i sent her a text msg whereby she showed derrick and now he knows already! GAHHH.
and well, they two keep on trying to blackmail me. SHUCKS.
am i really a falcon betrayer? LOL. whole day seems to revolve around KTA people esp people from red taurus LOL.
but anyways, upline called me just now, and well, it seems to go back to the happy happy times again luh :D
and oh yah, mr mengwee damn bad okay! whole day suan siao me only! GAHHHHHH.
TMR IS GONNA BE ANOTHER NICE DAY YES? :D
though it was a happy day, the moment when i stepped into office, i was holding a heavy heart, yes, cos of what andiekah texted me. hais. after all, i've been the one who has been helping him and training in everything ever since day 1.
but then the next msg from him brightened up my day "..... thanks for being such an understanding upline ..." the catch: im not his upline. mr mengwee is his upline. but i've been doing all the trainings with him cos together with fahmi and well, he thought im his upline. HAIS. a kind of feeling whereby i dont really know how to describe it.. touched? at least it shows someone appreciates all i've been doing for him :D
i told of my glory at 11:24 pm
Wednesday, 26 November 2008
im having
a
very
bad
headache.
and i wanna run away and go take a long long break.
i dont even wanna be in SG.
i dont want to contact anyone at all.
just probably with someone with me, the loved one, in the sunny side of the world,
or the snowy side of the world (cos i havent seen snow before)
with lots of scrambled eggs for breakfast,
chicken in all sorts of cooking styles for lunch,
fish in all sorts of styles for dinner.
a perfect lifestyle..
can i go to somewhere to shout everything out?
answer is, i cant.
and i cant even get what i want to eat as a perfect-meals-day.
i commit myself to help fahmi all the way to achieve his 1-3day ME position.
i commit myself to produce at least one ME for falcon (besides my directs)
and i have identified the person. it is now up to him whether he wants to take my helping hand i have reached out to him.
out of the darkness and into the sun
but i won't forget the place i come from
i gotta take a risk
take a chance
make a change
and breakaway.
i told of my glory at 11:23 pm
Tuesday, 25 November 2008
today, i finally found a day to really relax, really let go. cos finally, a day without activities to tie me down, but then again, there are more to be done tmr! :D
and i found out, SG kids are getting more guailan at a younger age, but then again, more sociable too ^^ HEHE.
alright, that was a pretty random fact.
on the other hand, im so glad i have people like zhiliang around me who helps me when i face such problems. he wont see this i guess, cos he doesnt know my blog. but either way, he's really.. someone i look up to. okay, you may think, AIYAH, just a MM. but he's really sensible. and i look up to him for that. (:
really, if without him i wonder how i'd have felt yesterday night.
REALLY OKAY, it's all thanks to him i decided to drop my upline that msg this morning.
sometimes im really just so worried over my upline.
but then again, he'll tell me to worry myself.
OKAY.
fine.
TMR WILL BE A BETTER DAY! FIGHT!
i told of my glory at 11:32 pm
im glad theres zhiliang to be the middleman sometimes.
i told of my glory at 12:56 am
Monday, 24 November 2008
basically today's post is just one thing for the one whom i cared so much about but he never cared much about me:
i'll spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly
i'll do what it takes till i touch the sky
i'll make a wish
take a chance
make a change
and breakaway
out of the darkness and into the sun
but i won't forget all the ones that i loved
i'll take a risk
take a chance
make a change
and breakaway
felt so wrong, felt so out of place. do you have to treat me so coldly and holler at me the first thing you see me?
she had due respect for me, but because of what you did everything is smashed.
ive been doing all these for who?
its all for you.
i understand how it can be tough when im the one and only key leader you have.
but can you at least show some appreciation, give me some encouragement, and at least treat me like your downline, not like someone you can command and order around?
you know how it feels?
when i look forward to your appearance but the first thing you do is
did you ask me to?
you didnt.
and i already did prepare a sales kit for you.
mr mengwee's.
is perfect.
but you had to pick at something to scold me for.
i opened this post at 10.54pm, but only finished typing that at 11.59pm.
you know how this feels?
you always tell me to tell you how i feel.
but you never bothered much no matter what i told you.
so whats the point of me telling you?
no wonder CK told me, dont be bothered so much. all uplines are like that.
really? why isnt mr mengwee like that? he wouldnt holler at me for no good reason.
i understand that cynthia is the one you have been referring to in your PM all this while. but hey, i took the effort to bury the hatchet last time cos it was partly my fault. but now that this kind of thing has happened to you, youre taking it out on me infront of the person ive been training up?
id rather you not talk to me then.
did you ask me for updates on my guy?
you didnt.
today i talked to him.
i want him to be a 1-3day ME.
i want the whole falcon to recognize me as a SOLID MM.
not one who can do nothing.
and i know i wont have your help on this.
cos anyway, you are so busy you dont even have time to talk to me properly.
it's so tiring to keep trying and trying and trying.
i'll just continue to keep doing, like what you once taught me.
yes, keep doing.
keep doing till i hit my position and everyone recognizes me as a person with standard, as mr longjun's key leader, as one of falcon's pillar.
and that im fucking hell not someone who's just around for the sake of being around.
anyway, slideshow was totally.. i dont know. we were nowhere near top 5 for top team, and sha lost all in iac. i sang like no one's business and cheered like no one's business.
i wanna release it all out..
i'll spread my wings and i'll learn how to fly
cos i know, now i can only rely on what little help i can get from mr mengwee.
and learn as much as possible from mr steven ho. (now that's the best consolation, that i have the support of our BAM, which im lucky to have. it feels like he's my upline instead)
but then again, tmr's expenditure is on CK. something to be happy about.
i told of my glory at 10:54 pm
Sunday, 23 November 2008
i am VERY VERY troubled yes.
by SO MANY issues.
my mind seems so occupied.
i did this online paul goldin's test and results show
1. "at this time you are feeling 'uptight' and you are urgently in need of rest and relaxation; but perhaps even more than that you need to overcome that feeling that you have been 'hard done by' and treated with a complete lack of consideration."
2. "Being a very proud individual, you tend to hold yourself aloof pretending that you are stoical - indifferent to pain and pleasure. This is not so, for in truth you are an extremely emotional individual"
3. "Your ability to withstand the pressures of everyday life have been overtaxed and this is leading to stress and frustrations. It would seem that for the time being you have lost the resilience and strength of will necessary to contend with existing difficulties."
and most true of all,
4. "But to give you credit, you continue to stand your ground and pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity. Naturally this situation is subjecting you to intolerable stress and pressure from which you would dearly like to escape, but you can not bring yourself to make the necessary decision."
this is so 100% accurate about how im feeling and such.
but then again,
why?
i went to help out at expo today. clarence sent me to somewhere where i can take 24 and well, along the way we saw 24 so he stopped for me to get on to the bus. and well, his honda accord is WOW, he's a SMU student. perfectly like how i wanna be in future.
enough about that.
somehow helping benny is not something im making myself do, like how it used to be. but rather, it's become an instinct.
my upline gave me so many chances like no one would probably ever. even mr mengwee had already given up on me. even if it wasnt so, he was close to being so. i could feel it. but my upline never gave up on me. seeing him change so much, i knew i could no longer be the arrogant person i used to be. i decided to pick myself up, with a new PMF, to fight again and to change myself to suit my environment.
and well, im doing well in this already.
but new problems begin to flood in. being to distract. UL > chicken.
just simply means i seem to put upline is higher priority in comparison to CK. i dont know why. and i dont wish to find out why. you can say im running away from this but either way, i dont really care.
oh talking about CK, i saw someone who looks exactly like him. he was just at the next stall and well, his rendang is very nice okay ^^
and i want to SLEEP NOW.
im damn tired..
i told of my glory at 11:59 pm
Saturday, 22 November 2008
BOO. yesterday night i was wasting my time away yes. HAHA. but i didnt go home either way. dont ask me details. =/
so basically.. yesterday i went to an appointment for a KTA agent, prospect being his grandma. and wow, less than 10 minutes after stepping into the house, i kinda started to "argue" with his grandma over whether magnetic therapy = volcanic rocks, whether they serve the same purpose and she persistently said that there will be no effects. BZZZZ. know why?
SHE IS FROM EASY PHA-MAX, A COMPETITOR FIRM THAT JUST NEWLY OPENED IN SG!
waa, sian diao please. in the end i was like entertaining the agent's 2 cute cousins while his grandma and his uncle keng-ed him. i was so worried that they were -ve about NM since his uncle is a businessman and his grandma is a competitor. turns out that they were telling him to work hard! :D and his uncle was so supportive, wanted to give him referrals :DDD
AND HORRRR, the grandma tried VERY HARD to keng me to join her instead you know. told me that theyre a new company so they needa train up more pioneers here and need people who can speak well, people like me (SHE SAID!). BUT HELLO, AT EASY PHA-MAX I CAN BE ONE OF THE SG PIONEERS, BUT IN MY COMPANY IM ONE OF THE PIONEERING BATCH IN THE WHOLE WORLD OKAY. :D
and she gave me samples of their products too. honeywheatgrass thingy blah lah. =x
oh well, but that wasnt an appointment in vain! though i didnt manage to close any product it was still a unique experience ;D
then today..
basically i was with my class 0820. yes, MY CLASS. went with them to celebrate puipui's birthday at fish&co :D
I WANT MY BDAY TO BE AT FISH&CO ALSO!
it's damn friggin cool! the staff gonna come over, give you the whole cake, make you stand on the chair with a sparkler in your hand and sing you a birthday rap! UBER COOLSXZ PLEASE! and we were at the dhoby ghaut branch where there was a LIVE BAND too. OMGS the guy's singing was AHHHHHHHHHHHH!! superb! :D
then after that we went to walk around abit before leaving (: wanted to go play pool with the few who went to but my eyes were closing and i felt an impending fever! =x
Baby boy 永远永远手牵手
一步两步一起走
永远永远要记得
我们要一起生活
不管晴天的时候
不管下雨的时候
不放开手到永久
我们要一起生活
眼泪 她为你流过 也为自己掉过
对于你们的爱 她总是抱着坚强的笑容
错过那些时间 谢谢她的守候
是时候 紧紧牵她的手 带她到你的城堡里
最近还好吗 想念的心开不了口
枯想着妳有没有好好过 担心着妳每天生活
你好吗 最近如何 照顾身体工作加油
我一个人也会勇敢好好过 不让你担心多一秒
想念着 每天每秒我们故事 每天每秒说好的事
两个人一起散步 是最浪漫的事
你是我的天使 给我力量能够坚持
那些关心问候 翅膀一样的双手 是我最幸福的所有
心里面有你建的角落 脆弱时我能够躲一躲
妳爱我 像翅膀一样温柔的手 我要抱着妳不要再错过
你的爱 是最蓝那片天空 cos baby girl I’m coming back home
Baby boy 永远永远手牵手
一步两步一起走
永远永远要记得
我们要一起生活
不管晴天的时候
不管下雨的时候
不放开手到永久
我们要一起生活
幸福 少了妳在身边不会完整
人潮中朝你走来那张可爱微笑的脸孔
这份爱 不是悸动 守护一辈子的感动
这段路踏着幸福的每一步一起牵着手
心疼妳会睡不好 总是缩在床的一角
我要回来给妳依靠 哄妳看妳笑着睡着
照片里 你的微笑 我们甜蜜得打闹
好希望微风把思念 代替我亲吻你嘴角
想念着 每天每秒我们故事 每天每秒说好的事
约定好去看的风景 爱谱成了诗
你就是我的天使 给我力量能够坚持
阳光灿烂午后 我又在街上走 你的影子不再寂寞
想到你的身边到不了 像个路人般看热闹
经过那个属于我们的转角 走过两个人曾经逛的街
那些店 还有熟悉的画面 oh baby girl i’m coming back home
Baby boy 永远永远手牵手
一步两步一起走
永远永远要记得
我们要一起生活
不管晴天的时候
不管下雨的时候
不放开手到永久
我们要一起生活
没有办法想像 那画面
一个孤独的背影走在 小公园
一颗心 需要暖 一双手 需要牵
故事要有美好结局 需要两双手来写
永远 不是只出现在童话里的梦
在身边 眼泪加了蜜糖甜
这句点 要完美画在无名指上
承诺的开始
恋人们 要一起珍藏
i told of my glory at 11:58 pm
Thursday, 20 November 2008
IM VERY SHAGGED! appointment postponed to tmr again. HAHAS. oh well, i shall do my best!
AIM: 2 pillow pads + 2 HL series twin packs!
today was really tiring yea, reached office and immediately did debrief, did magnetic, and brought the guys up to level 3. PHEW! tiring man! :D
but well worth it!
i will hit mm this month I WILL!
I WILL MAKE MY QIN AI DE UPLINE PROUD OF MEEEEE! :D
even if i lose, i'll die trying to win.
even mr steven is placing his hopes on me and already personally training me okay. kind of scary and stressful but well, i believe mr steven has a purpose behind chosing me. today he debriefed be over yesterday's CS. cos i was running in and out due to taking recruitments and ends up, he said i would learn nothing from it. cos why he is coming down to personally do the CS for me is to let me personally learn from him when he works. oh well! :D
im very happy, really happy.
thanks mr steven! :D i will do my best!
oh yea, i kinda almost died hearing JW's product presentation. even diming BUAY TAHAN okay. in the end me as the impromptu business plan presenter did it the OPP style, cushion-ed JW's pp like WTF please. i was saying till i myself seems so convinced by my own words ha..
TMR IS GONNA BE A FUN DAY ;D
and i know you'll always be there, whether physically there or not there.
i told of my glory at 9:57 pm
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
been feeling so shagged after the whole days activities and going without food for the whole day these 3 days. yesterday and today.
monday- lunch + dinner was at 5pm
think it's bad?
tuesday- lunch + dinner at 9.20pm
wednesday- no lunch, no dinner, only one can of pepsi at 10pm
我们的开始
是很长的电影
放映了三年
我票都还留着
冰上的芭蕾
脑海中还在旋转
望着你
慢慢忘记你
thank goodness i have my daily dosage of happiness to keep me alive and kicking.
and well, appointment today was postponed but anyway, it's TOMORROW! ^^
in the meantime, today was a super chiong day cos amelia and jingwen were not around. SOLID. i must support the whole falcon..
3pm: training downstairs, and 3 + 3 + 8 recruitments. why i split it into 3 + 3 + 8 is because i did b-role 3 times and well, DAMN IT OKAY. my throat was hurting bad and I DONT KNOW where i put my CALwater ):
朦胧的时间
我们溜了多远
冰刀画的圈
圈起了谁改变
如果再重来
会不会稍嫌狼狈
爱是不是
不开口才珍贵
and at the same time, mr ah meng's phone was ringing i would say, practically non-stop. cos actually he wanted me to take those calls for him, but cos i had to contact him in case of anything, so we switched phones. and well, he was taking my phone of cos. all this so that he could take the trainings downstairs peacefully. but oh well, i kinda missed like prolly 25 calls in an hour. STRESSED OKAY, is like, one call hasnt ended and another is coming in..
再给我两分钟
让我把记忆结成冰
别融化了眼泪
你妆都花了
要我怎么记得
记得你叫我忘了吧
记得你叫我忘了吧
你说你会哭
不是因为在乎
5pm wasnt much better, well. some recruitments ran away and WELL..
was machiam mr ah meng's personal assistant lo, just that no salary take from him! HAHAHA =p
oh yah, MR DARREN WAS SO HOSTILE AGAIN LOR. *whines.
HAHA. act cute babyface BUTCH. :D
朦胧的时间
我们溜了多远
冰刀画的圈
圈起了谁改变
如果再重来
会不会稍嫌狼狈
爱是不是
不开口才珍贵
sometimes, we dont know whats that thats holding both of us back.
i want so much to be there for you,
i dont know why.
its just a no-strings attached obligation i set for myself.
youve given me so much but ive given you nothing in return.
but somehow or other,
theres always a better alternative for you.
maybe im just weak,
maybe im just not a choice.
but always it turns out, im left with someone else.
when you said that you want to hand me over to him,
it felt like really,
youre gonna be gone.
and never would you come back to collect me back.
am i really something so significant that you have to pass me on to someone else to take care of,
or am i really so insignificant that you can leave me behind under someone else's care?
i am being selfish. i dont wanna let you go concentrate on your studies.
because just when im beginning to wanna do my best for you,
youre taken away.
再给我两分钟
让我把记忆结成冰
别融化了眼泪
你妆都花了
要我怎么记得
记得你叫我忘了吧
记得你叫我忘了吧
你说你会哭
不是因为在乎
nostalgic when i listen to this song.. but i've been listening to this song for 2 nights. yesterday, and today. and it reminds me of.....
him..
my ex downline...
my ex downlines....
my past...
i told of my glory at 10:43 pm
i was contemplating whether to even take the effort to express my thoughts here.
i dont know who's reading my blog,
i dont know who to trust.
but then again,
theres always the inner-me to consult.
reading those posts from the past made me reminisce so much about the past,
when we had miss lois,
when we had jinghui,
when i had huiqi,
when there was no amelia, no azura, no li fung, but just the old falcon.
the new falcon is so different from before.
its like, i wanna step up.
but i cant.
somehow or other something's pulling me back.
loNG JuN ™ ... quiting is never an option.. not even a thought.. says:
its up to u le.. i gave all i got
i know. upline, i do know.
i have had everything ever since day 1.
since i stepped into 190 changi road, i already knew i'll have you on this journey with me.
i dont want to feel upline-less. though youre so busy with school, i find every single small reason to call you.
because i want to feel that my upline is there.
i dont want to feel upline-less..
i will do all i can.
it's just 2 SEs. whats so difficult about that? (:
i told of my glory at 1:03 am
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
today was HECTIC.
VERY.
oh yea, an announcement!! *AHEMS* im attaching a chinese presentation appointment for KTA tmr! :D
ahahaha. VERY HAPPY OKAY :D
another chance to learn!! ^^
oh so anyway, today was hectic cos of mr AMW's happyday cos he had 20+ recruitments for 3pm, and around 15 came. me, amelia and jingwen practically died lah please. and whats worse is that at the same time, i had to also handle my upline's downline (not me) 's recruitment. arhhhh. blah blah black sheep! =x
5pm was even worse. mr AMW sabo me ask me b role a 32 year old. WTF PLEASE. then blah blah. FINALLY GOT A BREAK. and i could only sit down. still, no lunch YET. then finally after 5pm mass recruitment ended, i went to do a magneto PP for mr AMW. wohhh i think today's was super-powerPACKED okay! :D
even i myself was IMPRESSEDDDDDDD~
but then again, OMG I ONLY HAVE MY LUNC-NER AT 9PM OKAY.
damn hungry till no appetite already. gobbled down my fish&chips and well, MR ANGMENGWEE KOP MY PARKER ):
it just disappeared okay! and i FREAKED OUT HOR.
then i saw him using it. ahhh. bright and shiny and red (:
(yes, thats the one
kookoo mr mengwee was so persistent in borrowing it that i had no choice but to nag at him to take good care of it ):
YES MY BRIGHT RED PARKER
if theres even 1 scratch.....
AND YOU KNOW, THE PREVIOUS PARKER I BOUGHT HIM WAS IN A KNS STATE ALREADY OKAY.
but not bad lah, buy for him de he still will use for one year i happy le ^^
my red parker...
280 chapters ago,
i saw those eyes,
heard that voice,
saw the true you.
you were that honest..
yet that impressive...
cos i miss you, body and soul, so strong that it takes my breath away and i breath you into my heart, and pray for the strength to stand today. cos i love you, whether it's wrong of right, and though i cant be with you tonight, you know my heart is by your side..
i told of my glory at 11:09 pm
Monday, 17 November 2008
basically today was a VERY emotional day for me which i managed to get through RATIONALLY.
i have succeeded in "attach and detach" for once.
for the first time.
and well, today was:
1. helping benny go through small products with his agent
2. doing magnetic pp for benny's agent and LJ's
3. going through debrief for video with LJ's agent
4. hosting for mass recruitment @ 3pm
5. ogling at my hot chick
6. slideshow + IAC (which was a bag of laughters)
7. motivational talk by mr steven at b1
8. i went home with someone spectecular ^^
after i walked out of NYJC today i was feeling pretty down. so buddies, be prepared to receive a very emo letter from me (:
so i kb-ed benny when i reached. who ask him to be so dumb.
when someone ASKS for my help, i expect the person to take the intiative to prepare EVERYTHING for me so that i go over and open my GOLDEN mouth will do.
but you know what was the situation today?
miss zhiying was supposed to help jimmy cover the training for benny's guys. turns out that she fell ill and couldnt come so early. so i agreed to take over the training set for 2pm since miss zhiying asked for my help. and when i was on the way at 1plus, benny texted me asking if i was on the way yet. i told him yes. so to that.
HOWEVER, i reached at 1.50pm and was at the team's cubicle doing my own stuff and when benny and his guys came down at 2.25pm, he said "AIYOH YOU REACH ALREADY AH! WHY YOU NEVER CALL ME WHEN YOU REACH!"
i was
"WTF YOU ARE ASKING FOR MY HELP AND IM SUPPOSED TO REPORT TO YOU?!"
i was prolly feeling just a wee bit remorseful for abusing my position for once. LOL.
oh yea, MISS DAWN ASKED ME TO GO HOST FOR MASS RECRUITMENT @ 3PM TODAY T.T total stun-ness okay. but i think i talked alot of cock. GAHHHH. FIRST TIME WHAT. somemore is impromptu one okay. like 3 minutes after she asked me then i gotta go in liao O.o
wow. then finally at 5.20pm i had time to TRY to go eat lunch. turns out i had a debrief to do. and i did something STUPID. i ordered chicken cutlet, thinking it'd take VERY long to come. turns out that my food took 5 minutes only. so i was in the midst of the debrief and by the time i finished it half an hour, my dumbass chicken cutlet was NOT HOT ALREADY o.o walao. sibeh -ve please.
but then again, there was my appetizer right in front of me (: i was happily ogling away and well, i cant stand the thought of how there could possibly be a rumour with me and mr S being together when we were just OBVIOUSLY friends. zzz. talk in office everyday means BGR meh? zzz. and whenever i see him im reminded of the rumour ARGHHHHHH. ):
slideshow + IAC was SHIOK :D
damn funny when mr leon, miss jas and the other bgms were shooting one another onstage. DAMN FUNNY REALLY OKAY. laughed till wanna pengs. and well, mr mengwee committed to defeat miss dawn and miss jamaliah leh =x ARGHS. i wanna help upline beocme CAR ACHIEVER quick quick!!! ):
and oh yea, i went home with someone spectacular. really my first time talking to him so much but i really could talk to him! (: he was really really nice and well, the one and only time i ever talked to him was when we were introduced to each other. he'd always smile to me in office and coincidentally i met him at the bus stop today ^^ so yea, he has the "pattern" of his upline, but so very charming :D definitely great with him on the bus today yea!
learn.. and fight.. cos he's pacing me (: HAHAHHAs.
why is it that he can complain that he handled the guy so someone else said the guy ought to be his downline. but then, i've taken ALL and EVERYTHING of her training but she is not my downline? why? WTFFFFFF!@*()(*&#*(@Q *resentment
i told of my glory at 11:22 pm
Sunday, 16 November 2008
HEY MAN.
to conclude my interesting day,
1. met a hunk (really VERY handsome okay) who is a lifeguard,
2. became friends with a 11 yr old kid who has a GF and swims well
3. VERY SLEEPY NOW.
oh well, MISTER darren's d/ls appointment never close leiii. ):
there goes my cheesecake ):
and well, his 1 day ME?
i told of my glory at 10:25 pm
If the heart is always searching
Can you ever find a home?
I've been looking for that someone
I'll never make it on my own
Dreams can't take the place of loving you
There's gotta be a million reasons why it's true
When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything's all right
When you're right here by my side
When you look me in the eyes
I catch a glimpse of heaven
I find my paradise
When you look me in the eyes
How long will I be waiting
To be with you again?
I'm gonna tell you that I love you
In the best way that I can
I can't take a day without you here
You're the light
That makes my darkness disappear
When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything's all right
When you're right here by my side
When you look me in the eyes
I catch a glimpse of heaven
I find my paradise
When you look me in the eyes
More and more
I start to realize
I can reach my tomorrow
I can hold my head up high
And it's all because you're by my side
When you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything's all right
When you're right here by my side
When I hold you in my arms
I know that's it's forever
I just gotta let you know
I never wanna let you go
'Cause when you look me in the eyes
And tell me that you love me
Everything's all right
(It's all right)
When you're right here by my side
(By my side)
When you look me in the eyes
I catch a glimpse of heaven
Oh, I find my paradise
When you look me in the eyes.
i told of my glory at 1:06 am
Saturday, 15 November 2008
i was feeling super downnn today on th way home okay.
just cos of something upline told me.
but HEY, im not supposed to lose focus remember? (:
so this kookoo cheered me up cos i couldnt understand his tag and i asked him about it =p
Darren-sniffing cal ion plus makes me high=) says:
its like wah lan eh
Darren-sniffing cal ion plus makes me high=) says:
some nabei gina bin also got pple greet
apparently, i greeted him in front of his new agent just after he talked to him about fighting for 1day ME and blah and well, THAT WAS IMPACT! HAHA.
so darren, i will remember. if tmr's appointment close arh, you owe me one cheesecake OAKY! :D
BUT then horrrrr..
Darren-sniffing cal ion plus makes me high=) says:
shit man huifang this is a command
Darren-sniffing cal ion plus makes me high=) says:
u better fucking hit your mm
HUIFANG ♥ i love my chicken (: says:
):
Darren-sniffing cal ion plus makes me high=) says:
then everytime u got new agent i greet u
Darren-sniffing cal ion plus makes me high=) says:
wah lan the impact strong
HAHA. anyways, today had recruitments. SHIOK. th feeling of work till tired! :D then only had time to eat my one and only meal today at 5.30pm. brunchner. breakfast + lunch + dinner hehe. then mr steven came and sat with us and told us of th SHA + KTA chalet for countdown to 2009! YAY.
mr steven and mr kit rocks big time :DD
they booked 3 chalet units for us costing like prolly $1.2k and he asked me th fish i prepared last time.. how much would i need to prepare it for 150-200 people!! :DD
RECOGNITION FOR MY FIFIFISH OAKY!! :DD
anyways, if anyone has bbq and wants black pepper fish which is BONELESS at low cost let me know okay :DD cheaper than bbq wholesale lor!! (:
and anyways, im looking forward to like.. so many things!! :DDD
everything else except to see th fckers face okay.
mr calvin did bp again :D
solid kia.
haha. you know, bp damn impactful-- english plus hokkien at some points o.o
oh well, that's mr calvin's style.
oh yea, i finally said out something damn funny.
"mr calvin look like chicken little!"
me and zihui were like.. laughing like mad please!! =x but anyways, support fire today so funny okay. zihui keep on "YUP" then i also try try then th first time i say "YUP" nia he thought is recruitment o.o then in th end he was like "ohhh" lol.
then damn embarrassing okay. i walked to th front to pass him marker, then i had a bottle of calwater in my hand then he was like "thank you.. eh th water not for me ahhh! hehe kidding lah!"
ERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPS! so embarrassing lol.
basically, today was like that.
well.
boring i know.
im really glad i didnt terminate my account and re-open under someone else.
despite so many invites to do so.
i had th most understanding upline one could ever ask for.
i never cherished what i had.
now i will fight,
for him.
cos he gave me chance after chance,
even though there were top leaders telling him to give up on me,
to let go of my side..
but he gave everything that any downline could ask for..
trust,
help,
patience..
but as i gain one, i lose one..
a price to pay..
and a painful one..
when i was told about what you said.. what you decided.. i was thoroughly disappointed.. totally...
i told of my glory at 10:57 pm
Friday, 14 November 2008
today was a day with a horrible ending.
i shant say why it was horrible.
but anyway, i went home feeling miserable, with my headache worse than ever.
it didnt stop..
neither did it get better..
i forgot what was th main issue i wanna blog about.
but anyway,
th miracle is starting soon.
power is being built up..
i want to create a miracle for us.
i want to achieve what seemed impossible.
and we're working towards that.
i want it to happen..
the bond never felt so strong ever before.
OH YEA, was kinda shocked when mr steven called me out halfway through th welcome forum =x turns out he fixed th coffee session for me ^^ hehs. im feeling so pampered please! mr steven helping me okay!! :D
DISAPPOINT NO MORE!!
trust, believe, follow.
i told of my glory at 10:55 pm
Thursday, 13 November 2008
MISTER darren zeng. MY TEE UP VERY SOLID ONE OKAY. :DDD
you know, you know, someone was VERY hostile towards me today OKAY. ):
i greeted him when i was about to walk pass him at b1 and said "what you want?!"
HOSTILE HOR?
see lah, my tee up so solid that manager treat me that way. ):
and right, not ONCE like that leh.
TWICE! =/
Darren-sniffing cal ion plus makes me high=) says:
what u want
HOW SAD OKAY.
but anyway, we were having this discussion about passion cafe.
and i realised one thing.
though passion has changed alot since it reopened recently,
EVERYONE HAS MEMORIES THERE! :D
though we used to be VERY (and i really mean VERY VERY) negative of th food there, many felt a sense of belonging to it WHICH NO ONE EVER MENTIONED OF!!
*name censored to protect parties involved*
damn honestly i really love our passion cafe
it like form a kinda form a sense of belonging to ve more la
and another person also said
"i agree!! hahaha!!"
when i talked about th same topic. :D
passion cafe..
place i had my first CS with mr steven, 2nd CS wih mr steven, 3rd CS-plus-talk with mr steven.
place i had my first CS with mr calvin sim, mr steve sim.
place i had those numerous or rather, countless CS with mr mengwee,
with miss lois,
tears shed there..
meals eaten there and felt so negative cos the nasi lemak chicken wing was PUNY, th laksa did not taste like laksa (if damn friggin suay).
then th chefSPECIAL prepared by aunty which became highly popular..
those times when i reached office so early i went to passion to get a drink at passion and do my own planning th corner table there.. (then tio ga jiao by mr steve and mr jason quek lol)
those times we held group ups there..
within falcon, with mr glenn, with mr steven etc..
and those falcon meals..
but yes, HUMANS ARE EVERCHANGING!!
some things are no longer like how they were before.
those tears shed there would never re-occur like before,
those happy times should be looked back upon and cherished,
and well,
as what MISTER darren's msn PM says,
I LOVE PASSION!!!!
haha! :D
OFF TO SLEEP ^^
i told of my glory at 11:37 pm
Wednesday, 12 November 2008
quite a number of things happened today.
but first thing first,
THANKS DARREN :D
*explain later in th post
but anyway, in th morning.. i woke up at 10.25am when i was supposed to be at raffles place mrt station at 10.20am. woke up cursing loudly at no one in particular *WEIRD* and well, cabbed down. ARGH.
depended alot on weijian today and well, got absorbed doing my sudoku
aiyah, im just a sucker for success when i accomplish something difficult okay.
but i didnt complete it anyway HAHA.
then then then,
office=
1. caught in BIG rain but i was saved thanks to darren ^^
2. mr jason quek gave me ANG GONG OKAY (tattoo) =p
3. PASSION CAFE RE-OPENED!!! POSITIVE OKAY :DDD
rushed down to office after that for my 3pm and upline's 3pm. ended up RAINING SO HEAVILY! WTH. stuck at the block opposite office cos i was THOROUGHLY drenched and well, i didnt want to run anymore. ARGH.
and well, EVERYONE was busy except for mr mengwee and i dont wanna ask a car achiever to bring an umbrella to me.
then, a hope FINALLY appeared after 10 minutes of waiting!! :D
i saw darren at the bus stop outside office and promptly called him using my mobile and a VERY hilarious conversation took place:
......
hf- darren! HELP ME BRING UMBRELLA! stuck here leh!
darren- where are you! cannot see you!
....
....
....
darren- my recruitment also stuck there! you ask him wait for me can. gahhhh you pass th phone to him can?
hf- WHO IS YOUR RECRUITMENT SIA?
darren- thereeeee the guy in front of you in green stripes top!
hf- HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA.
*to stranger* erm, excuse me. youre waiting for darren right? he wanna talk to you.
stranger- harrrrr? orh.
HAHAHHA and in th end, darren went to b1 to look for umbrella and OMGSUAY, only managed to get one.
and well, what he did made me very GAN DONG okay!
he brought th umbrella over and told his guy to shelter me with th umbrella and he used his blazer to... cover himself from th rain..
and well, we were SO lucky that the traffic was pretty accurate such that when we reached th road th cars started coming. O.o
so poor darren had to be in th rain ): blazer wet and well...
I FELT VERY GUILTY OKAY.
but really, thanks darren :D i know you will read this.
if not for your umbrella in time i think i prolly would kill myself over th recruitment =/
then well, when th welcome forum was proceeding i went outside to call mr steven about some stuff when i met mr jason quek outside at level 3 too. then he was like, signalling me to go over..
haha. ends up he was wanting to ask me what kinda ad would get many many intellectuals to sign up for job orientation haha! and well, we sat there thinking when suddenly he used his pen to draw on my hand! =/
the "huifang" was drawn then.
then after sitting there for prolly 15 minutes, we went back into th seminar room.
so i was sitting at th back cos i was lazy to keep walking to th front and then again to th back door to exit to take a call. LOL.
then then then!!!
like around 20 min later mr jason came over and stood beside th place i was sitting then he DREW MY HAND AND WROTE MY NAME in chinese. T.T
OMGZ.
and oh yea,
PASSION CAFE'S FOOD IS VERY VERY NICE AND VERY VERY POSITIVE OKAYYYY :DDD
wa super solid i tell you,
i. th menu has 55 items
ii. they sell cakes
iii. they sell ice cream
iv. they have more tables
v. they have a good order-and-serve system
vi. they have menus at every table
vii. THEY GOT VERY GOOD SERVICE!
waaaa i super excited when i was in th cafe lo!
cos th food is SUPER NICE OKAY!
i shall visit th chicken rice stall less often already! YAYYY :DDD
and well, everyone was coming over "how's th food ah?", "nice anot?", "waaaaaa.."
HAHAHAS. damn funny i tell you.
and darren and eric were at th table beside. SUPER FUNNY cos i said darren is uncle =pppppp
darren dont angry lah okay ^^ hot coffee is nice in a cold weather!
wahahhaha!! and well, i ate th fish&chips WOOTS! SLURPS! DROOLSSSSS :DDDDD
*SHOWS HOW +VE HF IS!*
oh yah, someone told me to love my upline. LOL.
and well,
TILL THEN! SENTOSA WITH TH JAPS TMR!! :D
im still fighting today, th mood is there, th passion is there,
and th desire is there.
distractionssss FUCK YOU! ^^
WILL HIT THIS MONTH!
i told of my glory at 11:34 pm
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
i wanna remember that summer..
so many things are happening around me at th same time.
this is a pointless post.. really...
i gotta say what's on my mind.
something about us, doesn't seem right... these days.
life keeps getting in the way.
whenever we try,
somehow the plan is always rearranged.
it's so hard to say,
but i gotta do what's best for me.
you'll be okay...
i dont know what i wanna do nowadays.
i feel like just.. sitting there and..
stone...
since he's given up on me,
there seems to be nothing for me to fight for.
but then again, i always said,
"there's no point fighting on if th sole reason for you to be fighting on is for a mere one person."
so i believe,
i can find more and more new reasons to fight.
i've got to move on, and be who i am.
i just don't belong here,
i hope you understand.
we might find a place in this world someday,
but at least for now,
i gotta go my own way.
he used to be th greatest motivation for me to fight,
but not anymore.
we all have alternatives.
he does,
so have i.
i dont need ANYTHING from YOU,
i dont need you to be by my side like how it used to be,
and i can move on with or without YOU.
don't wanna leave it all behind.
but i get my hopes up and i watch them fall every time.
another color turns to grey.
and it's just too hard... to watch it all... slowly fade away.
i'm leaving today
cause i gotta do what's best for me.
you'll be okay...
so tiring to battle my own emotions.
so tiring trying to fight against my own negativities.
but i believe that when i tide over this period of time,
with or without anyone,
im a strong individual.
but well,
whoever stays with me through this..
im glad to have you with me yea..
i've got to move on, and be who I am.
i just don't belong here,
i hope you understand.
we might find a place in this world someday,
but at least for now,
i gotta go my own way.
i realised that there's a similarity in everyone's journey.
we get over-reliant on our.. upline/ BM/ CA/ BGM and at one point of time when suddenly a connection is lost,
all seems so lost
but then again, back to self-direction.
i felt so motivated to do calling and calling and calling to the extent that i kb-ed diming cos he was chatting on th company phone and i was WAITING for it.
how motivated is motivated?
what about us?
what about everything we've been through?
what about trust?
you know i never wanted to hurt you.
what about me?
what am i supposed to do?
i gotta leave but i'll miss you
upline says.. "just keep doing" and i really will keep doing.. i will keep doing and keep doing. just with a simple aim in mind.
FOR MY POSITION, AND FOR HIS CAR
so i've got to move on, and be who i am.
i just don't belong here,
i hope you understand.
we might find a place in this world someday,
but at least for now,
i gotta go my own way.
i have an aim to lock onto,
an aim which will stay with me.
an aim which will never waver,
and will never never never be affected by any single factor,
any single person..
okay never mind, dont congratulate. i just want to share my happiness here..
but with this new PMfactor, I AM MUCH BETTER, MUCH STRONGER and MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE as im fighting SOLELY for myself and a part of me (:
you, you are NOTHING. absolutely NOTHING to me.
you are but a pretty decoration hanging at th side on this journey of mine.
i know he most prolly wont read this, but get this clear HHF, he is not a MUST-HAVE on this journey!!
your scoldings no longer can bring me down,
your naggings are just what i'd learn form.
your motivation to me is just but an incentive,
and everything about you is just a fucking facade.
thanks for helping me see your true colours.
i've got to move on, and be who I am.
i just don't belong here,
i hope you understand.
we might find a place in this world someday.
but at least for now,
i gotta go my own way.
i gotta go my own way,
i gotta go my own way..
i told of my glory at 11:30 pm
well well, now that im leaving NY, maybe i should take out a night to reminisce over the 2 years i spent there..
firstly, NYCO. cos i went in to NY through DSA. from th start, i went into NY for th wrong reason- cos he asked me to. so when i went for th audition, he introduced ming kwang, his close friend. ultimately, i got in, i signed th DSA acceptance form when i passed through the audition, and a few days later, he dropped out. haha. come to think of that, im really really stupid to have believed his words. and then i thought, heys, it's alright. there's always ming kwang who's there. i wont be entirely alone in NY. true enough, even before i entered NY as an official student, MK was always being very helpful, guided me during the open house, lent me his calculator for my o levels and ended up having to use his troublesome GC for his chem SPA. when i came into NY, he did take very good care of me. whenever practices ended late, he'd always bug th chairperson to end their EXCO meeting ASAP so that i wouldnt need to wait too long for him to walk out that long road with me and entertain me at th same time :D cos it would be friggin dark and he knew i was.. kinda blind in the dark.
then there was also derek another senior whom i got to know during the audition, but i did not know him that well then. it was until i entered NY, then did i get to know him better and eventually ended up as close friends. he who helped me so much with my midyears last year that he also didnt do as well as he usually did. those times of mugging in school for midyears last year with derek and ming kwang were definitely times whereby i felt "hey, jc has its fair share of helpful people too!" but then somehow, graduation took it's toll, NS took it's toll on our friendship and well, i can only look back at those times and think back.
there have been times when ming kwang comes back to visit :D and each time is.. i dont know, there's this glad feeling when i see him. it's those times during those performances, especially those whereby there was only just a small group of us involved, those times of unglam-ness, those times of.. fun.. which really, i can look back and smile. cos i got to know such great seniors and they were such close friends of mine. it's almost like they were my brothers who took really great care of me, and really, it seemed like everyone gave their 100% into this friendship..
then th other group of people who had the 2nd greatest impact on me: those from PAE0724 & JAE0723.
PAE0724: those promises we made to choose the same subject combination after PAE, just to end up in th same class. but people left. elizabeth who went to SAJC, and weimun who went to PJC. times we chiong-ed queensway after school during PAE was really.. and sentosa times.. we had so much fun then, enjoying all. and valentines day in school whereby i was so shocked to receive a
JAE0723: got to know this guy- lawrence. who had such a great impact on my whole life in 0723 (: i remember how he, cel and i pon-ed level camp just to go support lawrence in campus superstar at toa payoh. and how he sang th whole journey back to NYJC from toa payoh just cos i kept asking him to sing. we only knew each other th day before. he was a really smart guy, really asshole, and really really charming. yes, i said that. no doubt as asshole. but somehow i allowed myself to be exploited (no dont think it th wrong way) and well, when i left the class last year, everything changed..
on top of my class last year, there was also "0738" those i played bball with, those i studied for promos with, those i had spent those late nights in the school with. running on th track at 10.30pm just to relieve stress, with MF and QJ, me and law. well. th rest just werent on about it. hahas. and well, no lights at all. i wasnt gonna let go of law along th way. hahas. but well, that was the type of fun we had..
then this year, i moved on to 0820 which brought with it many ups and downs. then i found people like tammy, jeanette, lynette, regina. these people which gave me laughter, gave me motivation, encouragement, and a time to look back at and smile :D then others like puijun, edeline, jiayan, etc who never failed to brighten up my day. times with amanda, edeline and puijun during chinese breaks.. those times so memorable yes..
then this year in NYCO i found people like zhiwen, estelli the bimbo, weijian (though i knew him last year, but was closer to him this year). they made co so enjoyable especially whenever we passed chocs around right under dingls's nose =p and whenever weijian, zhiwen and i did some.. weird expression or action, we'd burst out laughing and somehow ding would be kinda shocked. :D and times when zhiwen or weijian had sudden outbursts of mimicking dingls =x HIGHLY HUMOROUS I TELL YOU. but well, i guess i never put my 100% into co this year.
regrets, yes. but im glad i had friends like them..
and lastly, th bunch of fun loving people, house exco 2007, ltc sir gareth 2007, and everyone.. everyone..
i find it so difficult to leave ny..
i have never left it before..
i told of my glory at 1:00 am
Monday, 10 November 2008
today was a nice day :D
i painted nails with amelia and theyre purple and pink now! :DDD
你的绘画凌乱着 在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽 甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯 我还爱你了
但你断断续续唱着歌 假作没事了
时间过了 走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
一开始都不快乐
你用卡片纸写着
有些爱只给到这 真的痛了
i went for an appointment today. amanda's appointment.
with mr mengwee.
cos upline had school and couldnt make it in time.
and well,
it wasnt easy.
lucky he was th presenter. (:
we cabbed down, and well, for th trip back he was nice enough t go exchange for coins for me cos i left my ezlink in office and i didnt manage to bring extra cash with me cos we were rushing out of th office before that.
怎么了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得
你不懂了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒在旋转着 要怎么停呢
oh yea, he was playing this song on his phone (:
very very nice.
got me thinking...
你的绘画凌乱着 在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽 甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯 我还爱你了
但你断断续续唱着歌 假作没事了
时间过了 走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
一开始都不快乐
你用卡片纸写着
有些爱只给到这 真的痛了
and well, im glad i made a difference to someone's life in nyjc..
got this from her blog..
"huifang: thanks for that paragraph dedicated to me on your blog. i will never forget you, the especially fun friend who never really get bothered by setbacks. because you understand this whole situation the best, and that is why i truly appreciate your advice."
im really such a happy-go-lucky person in their eyes?
am i really such a good friend?
have i really motivated others?
am i really ready to be who i wanna be?
怎么了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数着你再不舍
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得
你不懂了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒在旋转着 要怎么停呢
just talked to him whom i havent talked to for... months. i think prolly 3 or 4 months.
it's weird you know, when he used to be part of my daily dosage of happiness..
im glad it's still th same old him..
despite so many stories i heard..
but he didnt come over just cos i was with them..
hey you know, how many times i've watched you from afar, seeing you so stressed out..
i miss his voice,
i miss his singing.
that time we went to suntec's arcade and had so much fun,
that time th few of us.. we went to ur place to watch scary movies and your cute sis ended up so freaked out,
then somehow or other you took up so much space that i ended up.. legs on th floor when sleeping..
and you got so embarrassed... =p
and that time we went to ur house to cook pasta :D
oh those times walking to th mrt station after basketball games and late dinners..
walking to th mrt station for th mere sake of accompanying him..
and those bball games which are forever memorable..
those times of night-dota-ing when he'd be patient enough to team with me and teach me.
nag at me when i somehow got myself killed despite him telling me to move back lol.
then when i left there was no one to walk with him to th mrt station ha...
and on my part,
i missed his singing..
i missed him..
i missed his presence..
he was always th one to help me with my studies..
怎么了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
我都还记得
你不懂了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒在旋转着 要怎么停呢
i told of my glory at 9:37 pm
lim zijie! better remember that after your a levels we're going to go kbox, steamboat, open tuition agency etc etc etc okay! :D
you see why i miss my classmates from last year?
i got such fun friends like him! (:
i told of my glory at 12:40 am
Sunday, 9 November 2008
HAHA.
Darren-sniffing cal ion plus makes me high=) says:
u scared my balls of la
just cos i was SO careless in interpreting information from the TP website. lol.
and somehow or other i thought i couldnt get into the business course! LOL.
i think it's DAMN funny lah! LOL.
im still like... traumatised from th false shock =x
for all those times you stood by me
for all the truth that you made me see
for all the joy you brought to my life
for all the wrong that you made right
for every dream you made come true
for all the love i found in you
i'll be forever thankful baby
you're the one who held me up
never let me fall
you're the one who saw me through
through it all
i didnt make it to office today.
hais. morning and well,
i made a decision to do so.
i could've gone.
but i decided against it.
cos something happened =x
you were my strength when i was weak
you were my voice when i couldnt speak
you were my eyes when i couldnt see
you saw the best there was in me
lifted me up when i couldnt reach
you gave me faith cos you believed
im everything i am because you loved me
and you know what, i was out with my parents when me and my mom exposed a magician's trick. LOL. highly entertaining. :D cos we never said anything and we both LAUGHED OUT LOUD. =x bit evil but ya.. HAHA.
you gave me wings and made me fly
you touched my hand i could touch sky
i lost my faith you gave it back to me
you said no star was out of reach
you stood by me and i stood tall
i had your love i had it all
im grateful for each day you gave me
maybe i dont know that much
but i know this much is true
i was blessed because i was loved by you
YAY MR MENGWEE IS BACK IN SG :DDD
you were my strength when i was weak
you were my voice when i couldnt speak
you were my eyes when i couldnt see
you saw the best there was in me
lifted me up when i couldnt reach
you gave me faith cos you believed
im everything i am because you loved me
oh yes, now that all th j1s are liberated, I CANT WAIT FOR A LEVELS TO BE OVER SO THAT I CAN GO HAVE FUN WITH ZIJIE, HEIDI AND LAWLAW :D
and prom night!! xDDD
you were always there for me
the tender wind that carried me
a light in the dark shining your love into my life
youve been my inspiration
through the lies you were the truth
my world is a better place because of you
but at th same time, enjoy those i have around me,
HOR AMELIA? :D
have fun, fight, work hard, have fun!! (:
to have someone to share sorrows with,
to have someone to have fun with,
to have someone to motivate me while i move along :D
you were my strength when i was weak
you were my voice when i couldnt speak
you were my eyes when i couldnt see
you saw the best there was in me
lifted me up when i couldnt reach
you gave me faith cos you believed
im everything i am because you loved me
,
i miss you dearest. how long since i last saw you.
i told of my glory at 9:04 pm
Saturday, 8 November 2008
today i was really.. happy.
i could feel th type of energy in me i miss so much, i lost it since.. a year ago..
i gotta say what's on my mind.
something about us, doesn't seem right... these days.
life keeps getting in the way.
whenever we try,
somehow the plan is always rearranged.
it's so hard to say,
but i gotta do what's best for me.
you'll be okay...
it's difficult to find my true self back. even when with th girls, i feel so happy, i feel so free, but at th same time i know im not myself.
at th end of th day, im smiling, yes.
but somehow somehow..
i know some part of me is gone..
i've got to move on, and be who i am.
i just don't belong here,
i hope you understand.
we might find a place in this world someday,
but at least for now,
i gotta go my own way.
i found myself back today. having fun, being sunburnt, feeling th heat, screaming my heart out, laughing like a madass, conquering heights, getting wet, making myself damn friggin scared out of my wits.
and well, DRIVING ROCKS :D
don't wanna leave it all behind.
but i get my hopes up and i watch them fall every time.
another color turns to grey.
and it's just too hard... to watch it all... slowly fade away.
i'm leaving today
cause i gotta do what's best for me.
you'll be okay...
when can i get my break.. my big break..
what about us?
what about everything we've been through?
what about trust?
you know i never wanted to hurt you.
what about me?
what am i supposed to do?
i gotta leave but i'll miss you
i want a
walaoooo since she can i also want! *emo-ly screams out loud and runs to a corner and hides.*
and waaa, so complicating. falcon's gonna shrink again soon..
do i really want it?
i should have expected that that choice i made would affect me for life. but i chose to go against what my mind told me to.
follow your heart.. follow your heart..
sometimes it's bullshit. i came in for a wrong reason and stayed on for th wrong reason. i wanted to accomplish and complete what he didnt..
but i should have realised that it's not within my abilities to do so..
JR..
wherever you are, however much you want to avoid everyone,
i still remember those secondary school fun we had (:
those slacking and really really fun times we had..
yupp, th only guy in ZHSS i can say who really is.. everyone can say i like him but we both know we're best buddies yea (:
but somehow somehow.. some things happened.
and th contact was broken.
and i went thru 2 years of jc with only one goal in mind..
to conquer what you lost to,
but somehow,
i failed to..
i told of my glory at 11:33 pm
Friday, 7 November 2008
oh well, results out today yes.
hahas. didnt feel a single feeling.
was so occupied with consoling lynette that somehow i didnt think of th consequences of going home with such results of mine.
you know.. to th extent of wanting to offer it as tissue paper to lynette. lol. alright i was kidding. rawr =x
of cos, came home and tio gan-ed. but well. i couldnt go to office either way. conscience told me not to. upline was being nice not to kb me. and for once, wow, he texted me and asked me hows my results. ha. cos you see, everyone always thinks im purely stupid lah. you know, to drop out of jc and such. but fact it, hey, i passed my common tests and even did well sometimes! but haha. finally, liberation day. face th music and move on with life :D
lynette! we'll always be there for you! me th poly student to-be will go back and find you girls often. you all were my pillar of support whenever i met with any setback. and definitely, happy times shared with you all man!
congrats jeanette, you made it! :D mug hard this december okay! bring your notes to germany!! :D
and regina, congrats on your good result too (: jiayou all th way! :D and when you walk... be more ladylike lah okay! :D
and tammy FOON SOK MUN!
i dont love you! YAY :D cos i am not les HAHAHA. oh well. once again, good grades. you rock big time :D and anytime you need someone to bully (a little), you can always look for me! :D
but well, those girls in class who offered their best wishes and such, those people who told me they miss me :D hehe! im glad i have you all with me!
okay GO SLEEP NOW. it's 12.26am.
ESCAPE! :D
i told of my glory at 11:29 pm
hello, as i count down my hours to my anniversary with my most loyal bf.
hello, i am huang hf from mr steven ho bgm group.
i joined ve group in 8 nov 2007.
my upline is mr longjun, bm.
my car achiever is mr ang mengwee, 2star bm.
i belong to th team RED FALCON.
my bgm used to be miss lois poh luqi but due to personal stuff, she is currently inactive, which explains why my bgm is mr steven ho, bam, used to be house of red house leader.
when i first joined, i remember those times when we'd just sit there and talk cork in office. yea, me, my upline, mr mw. i hit my SE position.
then in december, we started to panic. and started to bring in more downlines, building our team, finding more sales. after a traumatising and emotional 1 month, mr mengwee emerged as a car achiever in th company, mr longjun achieved his bm position, and i achieved my ME position. and thanks to their help, i had a total of 4 MEs under me. due to an unfortunate incident, i missed my mm position.
at the same time, mr jimmy achieved his bm position, mr jinghui achieved his bm position, and so did jackee, thus, miss lois achieved her bgm position.
as mr mengwee's then bm group, we cleared approximately 50,000lv.
as a newly emerged miss lois bgm group, we cleared a total of at least 60,000-70,000lv i guess?
but after that, somehow the period of car incentive took it's toll on us. we were greatly weakened as a team.. many of us started to lose faith, including me. without a direction, everyone was not motivated..
but somehow, i picked myself up. and i decided to fight for the team. (:
i remember the period whereby i reached office at 10.30/11am daily, doing 11am, 12pm, 1pm, 2pm, and 3pm recruitment for everybody in the team cos all of them had school. (or couldnt wake up that early) though it was a tough period but i learnt the most during then.
i started to talk to more people like mr miao hua, who at that time was a mm, but now is already a car achiever. he was very friendly, very helpful. he didnt who i was. but seeing me look so lost looking for someone, he asked me. and he helped me do a business plan. different team, different associate, and we never even talked before that. but he was willing to just step out to help me immediately cos i couldnt find the initially-planned presenter.
mr steven came to the cubicle somedays, and upon seeing me there, would talk to me, asking about my progress and everything.
other managers and car achievers around the company got to know about me. cos falcon always ONLY had one person managaing everything in the morning.
different people taught me different things too. i learnt fom other manager's business plans, coffee sessions etc..
i lost track of my own progress then, because i was too absorbed into helping others with their recruitment and improving my own product presentation to prepare myself for appointments. i did business plans though i was only holding onto a bronze badge and i was not on good terms with my upline.
so many things happened during the period of time between february to may.
it was hectic, it was hell.
tears came so freely and i remember how miserable life was. i was often spotted with two girls- lifung and azura. and people thought they were my downlines. nope they arent. people thought my direct upline was mr mengwee. that explained alot.
but no, in june everything changed. i took the initiative. and things got better..
from 15,000lv, the "great singapore sale" project launched deducted the ME to mm quota by 6,000lv. i was left with 9,000lv then. slowly, with the help of my upline and my downlines, clearing it became possible. it was slow, painful, but at the same time, i learned alot, i went through alot which many didnt get to.
as mr mengwee's msg said "i believe the road to success is filled with obstacles and just trying to overcome the obstacles will take its toll on alot of you people."
many have been lost in this pursuit of success. but i told mr mengwee, "i wont be lost, cos im still here after all that has happened" and i told upline "i wont leave ve without a great achievement". i believe that what doesnt kill me makes me stronger. i have learnt alot, alot beyond description by mere words. and i will put it into good use.
too many regrets i had,
just cos i was too afraid to hurt my downlines, i couldnt explain to them.
but when benny texted me over that particular issue, that same issue i once handled, i whacked. not take a bat and whack. lol. but through msgs. sometimes, impact can be created when you want it to happen. when he thanked me yesterday night, i knew i made a right choice and i had done the right thing for the past few days. i knew i was hard on him. but if i wasnt, he might already have been gone.
and you know what? what i passed down this time, was what miss lois taught me,
when i was infatuated over a particular person,
when i thought fighting was just for him,
when i thought my life was just all about him.
but miss lois helped me to realise, that he's just an incentive i get. and i should seek to outshine him. in ve, we should not try all ways to get their attention through sticking to them, but through outstanding achievements. they who we love should be a contributing motivation, not a primary motivational factor. though i have yet to locate my pmf (frigging after 1 year in ve), i know that my pmf lies beyond just a mere relationship.
plus those coffee sessions i had with mr steven, mr calvin sim, mr steve, mr yanlong.
and prolly had like 20 over coffee sessions with mr mengwee (: heh.
all highly motivating and inspiring. such remarkable young leaders in the company..
those people i've seen come and go..
i still remember all they did..
those youngsters.. all the fun we had.
those tears we shed,
those negativities we fought.
but now, only me and my upline, we're the only ones left, from mr mengwee's car incentive team. 1 year later, falcon has changed so much.. so so much..
good thing? or bad thing? (:
but we continue and fight on.
for my upline to be the next car achiever in red falcon (:
i told of my glory at 9:41 am
Thursday, 6 November 2008
WELL, mr mengwee is going to malaysiaaaaaaa. on th BMs-only SAM trip. hahs. well!
over and over i look in your eyes
you are all i desire
you have captured me
i want to hold you
i want to be close to you
i never want to let go
i wish that this night would never end
i need to know
tmr is friday, 7th nov. GET RESULTS.. hais. i dont know. LOL. but anyway, saturday program is up already =p and hannah has an appointment! :D
triple yayyys~
could i hold you for a lifetime
could i look into your eyes
could i have this night to share this night together
could i hold you close beside me
could i hold you for all time
could i could I have this kiss forever
could i could I have this kiss forever, forever
very tired today.
day spent at jeanette's with th girls, and followed by office. fun + fun (:
i wanna fulfil upline's planning for me this month!! :D
over and over i've dreamed of this night
now you're here by my side
you are next to me
i want to hold you and touch you and taste you
and make you want no one but me
i wish that this kiss could never end
oh baby please
OFF TO SLEEP SOON
i don't want any night to go by
without you by my side
i just want all my days
spend being next to you
lived for just loving you
and baby, oh by the way
could i hold you for a lifetime
could i look into your eyes
could i have this night to share this night together
could i hold you close beside me
could i hold you for all time
could i could I have this kiss forever
could i could I have this kiss forever, forever
i told of my glory at 11:27 pm
leeanne very nice (: she msn-ed me this:
"Whenever you fail, don't ever think that you failed because you are not worthy. If you have come this far, then there must be something in you that brought you this far; a fire that pushed you on, so put some more gas on the fire and push on. Get up, dust yourself off and come right back, not only with a vengeance but also with a plan to win."
TODAY!!!
oh yah, first thing i want to say is..
DARREN th-cute-baby-face CANT DO HOUSEWORK (:
cos his supposedly-BLACK shirt looked totally darkgreen to me O.o
im not colour blind...
it's decolourised so yah.. i dont have to say much more.. =p
hehe darren ah darren you go get a wife soon lah, so that she can help you wash clothes such that your black shirts still look BLACK :D
SO IN CONCLUSION, i almost died from laughing so much at office today. after a busybusy day and a busybusy evening (: submitted standing order! YES! BUT WATER NO STOCK. F***.
so yes, laughing so much, cos when we were preparing to leave, mr mengwee was arguing with diming (as always) over some... trivial-turned-major stuffs. LOL. and the joke of "gui1 shu2 gan3" (sense of belonging) came up again. HAHA. and walao. i think i tio brain damage already.
cos mr mengwee is ALWAYS so violent towards me one lor ): just now really machiam fighting lah! cos he was like, sitting on th table and i was standing there o.o then over some trivial-turned-major issue again, fight fight fight then he so violently grab my head O.o
*ROARRRRRRRS.
and oh yah, dididididi ming and i had this funny conversation today..
DM- ehh that night why you send us that msg ah?
HF- har? cos i v pek chek that night ma. so i texted you guys lo.
DM- har. ohhh...
HF- IMPACT HOR? *gleefully
DM- IMPACT! BUT HOR, next day you never come, th impact minus half liao..
HF- -.-"
DM- HAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHH!!!
but besides that,
i spent all my free time hitting others.
hitting them with "impact" msgs.
trying to make a difference..
oh yah, someone help me locate my pmf? please?
it's been 12 months and i havent found it..
i dont want others to have regrets i have, just cos i never knew, just cos i never dared to. now that i know, i am willing to hurt them for them to learn. it was just cos i never dared to hurt her, which explains her absence now.. cos she never understood..
i told of my glory at 12:40 am
Tuesday, 4 November 2008
oh well well.
those 260 chapters..
Aston's with th girls today was great.
yes it was GREAT.
thank goodness my mood was only
upline called me when i was sleeping on th bus. lol.
it was a very tame conversation. (:
if this will continue, i believe the biggest problem holding me back mentally is gone.
but then again, there arises another problem.
which i dont have to talk about =x
there was this girl,
who in pursuit of her desired happiness,
lost th twinkle in her eyes.
those windows of much envy, now shut out from th world..
oh, tmr there's another event again.
then zoom down to office for my downlines.
for a fucking stupid reason.
he knows im that weak.
but i fucking.... fuck. it sucks to be this way.
maybe i really am weak.
fine then, help me when you want to..
since i really dont deserve your help..
if im persistent that im correct, id have argued back.
but i kept quiet.. and you complain about that too.
how do you want me to explain to you?
i told of my glory at 10:45 pm
Monday, 3 November 2008
let me tell one thing which got me
i was so glad that i friggin took SO FAST to arrive to meet tammy the kookoodoodle and regina the queen. but in th end i @#$%^&*(*&^%$#@ TOOK 20 STRAIGHT MINUTES TO GET THROUGH TO THEIR !@#$%^&*(*&^%$#@! PHONE. i called non-stop you know, and in th end, after 21 missed calls to tammy and 6 missed calls to reg, TAMMY FINALLY TOOK TH CALL.
and for th whole evening i nagged at tammy over th 21 missed calls issue.
hmm.
i bought nice slippers :D
mr mengwee cant nag at me anymore! YAY.
oh yah, damn funny at office today. cos mr mengwee said he wanna give those girls a "gui1 shu2 gan3" (sense of belonging) so that they wont leave. but his method is... UNACCEPTABLE!
LOL. laughed like what dart in th office please. hahs.
and poor me got suan-ed again.
and he insulted someone else lo... kookootombalek HAAHA. learn from him one hokayyy.
oh yea, i feel happy (: dont ask me why!
his mentality is so matured sometimes that he seems to have lost so much. has to cope with so much, and there's nothing i can do to alleviate his stress. how much i seek help from all of them.. but there's nothing else i can do except to keep doing..
i told of my glory at 10:45 pm
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIANG! :D
we went to parkway after our lit play t meet them for dinner :D
hee!
oh yah, th play! avenue q was a blast! :D
and plus plus plus, saw fellow lit students! :D
OMG, those songs were great!
"the internet is for porn"
"it sucks to be me"
STUCK IN MY HEAD HAHA. th monster was like, doing th m**tur***ing action while singing "th internet is for porn" LOL. DAMN HILARIOUS.
IM DAMN TIRED OMG. =x slept on th bus home. but at least not as embarrassing as j to be waken up by bus uncle. LOL. =p
LAST DAY TMR! :D
it's gonna be a new start for us!
i told of my glory at 12:23 am
Saturday, 1 November 2008
chapter 259?
it ends here (:
i've decided to move on t a new life of my own
he's just one where i can say,
im glad to have him in my life as he brings me laughter, happiness, and gives me guidance. but he's but just whom im separated from with this thing called fate, ever since th first day i decided to join SHA red falcon (:
hahas.
anyways.. was talking to upline at smoking area today =x
EH BOTH OF US NEVER SMOKE OKAY.
but i dont know why he was there.
cos he called me then asked me is it i left le.
then i said wanted to update him some stuff before i make a move and he told me to go look for him there =x
oh well.
then i went out and there he was EMO-ing away HAHA.
you know, listening to music and... i dont know. alone. lol.
but anyway..
upline oh upline, i havent given up (:
cos it's not th last day yet!!! :D
AVENUE Q TMR!! OMG!!
could i hold you for a lifetime,
could i look into your eyes,
could i have this night to share this night together.
could i hold you close beside me,
could i hold you for all time,
could i, could i, could i have this kiss forever~
i told of my glory at 11:39 pm