Thursday, 13 March 2008
chapter 27:
stupidity, spasticity.
got bluffed by a
some particular people are reading my blog. im gonna stop blogging about the squid already. the evil squid. oh well, i feel so... intruded T.T HAHA.
cos no one's supposed to know about you..
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looking back,
aggressive may not mean good all the time.
sometimes i really hate your aggressiveness.
those stupid things you do which make my
give me a scare at times,
and always, oh well, make me feel so.. unsettled for the whole day.
but it's okay,
cos miss lois says your aggressiveness led you to what you are today.
so from today onwards,
HUIFANG shall take the aggressive approach towards everything.
not convinced? i'll talk till youre convinced.
not happy? whack you till you are.
FARK.
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it pains me,
it hurts.
but you are oblivious to this eternal pain i am in.
when will the time come,
when i could openly express my soul,
bare it for you to see.
but i am afraid,
that we may lose each other in the crowd someday,
and i cant find my way back to you..
like i lost someone
such a long time ago
but still bathed in blood..
always,
i want to just find a spot,
where i could just talk to someone.
about anything,
and everything.
under that starry nights,
the blazing skies,
the dim twilight of the land.
i think and i wish,
i cry and i say.
but this lament may go unheard..
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today had a talk with upline :) he really spoke out my exact feelings. cos always im busy with recruitments which are not mine, and will never be my downlines. those umpteen presentations i've done for the past 3 weeks, those uncountable debriefs, those days of basic training. im busy with everything, learning everything, but i dont even have time for myself. maybe upline put it in a really crude way as in them "making use" of me. i wouldnt put it across of "making use", and true enough it's a chance for me to brush up on my water pp skills. but if you all havent noticed, i personally feel my pp is damn 'WOOHOO' convincing already. dont you all notice the recent recruits have the product confidence? especially mohammed (dont know how to spell lah) who insisted on giving me a standing ovation and a 10/10 rating yesterday. i cant say im ABSOLUTELY ready for appointments, but somehow, can you all just do me this small favour of letting me have some time of my own? today i chiong-ed 4 pps in a day and none belonged to me or upline. upline feels that i havent been doing enough for myself, and for him. cos after all, he's fighting for his car too.
UPLINE AH UPLINE, i'll take ur advice, and next time anyone asks for my help, i'll say "ask my BM leh" :))) cos sometimes i really feel
oh well, cos i WANT to earn presenter fee. but i need to set up my own organisation first. till my organisation damn zhai then i go ahead with doing my own stuff. I DONT WANT TO BE STUCK AT ME FOREVERRRR!!!
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yesterday night when i went with miss lois to withdraw money, we talked. i told her about this, that, everything. upline, work, people, falcon, relationship and so on.
ve is really such a people job and it really matters that we accept the faults of people, and look at their good points.
cos along the way, we meet new people, we meet new challenges. what matters most is the trust is our upline and upupline and so on, cos ultimately, they will never be wrong. it really matters to trust, believe, follow..
cos everyone is learning together. when im learning how to do pp, youre learning how to do bp. when im perfecting my pp, youre learning how to manage us. so the cycle goes on. as we climb higher, we learn more things. miss jessie shared during a CS that each position doesnt mean just money. it's really the learning process. longjun b roled for that CS with ben and he told me about what she said- at the SA to ME standard, we're learning how to do PP and such. when at MM, we learn how to manage our organisation. when at BM, we learn how to manage the whole team. when at BGM, we learn how to manage VE.
it really makes a difference if we learn together and give chances.
if i never gave chances,
i would have given up in january.
if i never gave chances,
i wouldnt allow other agents to sit in to my pp and listen to learn.
if i never gave chances,
my wu zi tian shu would be read by no one else but me.
if i never gave chances,
i wouldnt even fulfil trust, believe and follow.
if i never gave chances, i wouldnt be in VE. i swear.
when lawlaw talked about VE last year, i hadnt heard of them before. after he told me about how negative VE was, i got contacted by this guy called JIM 2 weeks later. i stupidly went down alone, saw venture era, and "f*cked up" already. but i listened. and i joined. though i know intially my reason for joining was not cos i i fancied VE alot or the business plan or the product. LOL. but that doesnt matter. it really matters if we give everything a chance and not reject it without finding out for ourselves.
i gave VE and myself a chance, and here i am today, a marketing executive fighting on.. :)))
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attack every problem with enthusiasm, as if your survival depended on it..
i told of my glory at 11:56 pm